Joining Thomas

"Unless I see and touch, I won't buy it!" That was Thomas' line to the disciples who reported a visit by a resurrected Jesus.

We hear mostly unsympathetic sermons about "doubting Thomas." I looked up the references to Thomas in the gospels as well as the trajectory of post-resurrection appearances of Jesus. I kinda like him, and identify with him, though I'm an early responder to new ideas and possibilities.

Most of us are Thomas, asking for more evidence than heresay when we plant our faith on an impossibility. Thomas had no accounts of scripture, later gathered into the New Testament. None of his fellow disciples understood that Jesus had predicted his death and resurrection until retrospect kicked in AND they'd seen and touched him by his own invitation. Even after seeing his wounds, Jesus' followers weren't sure he was real until he ate food in their presence (Luke 24).

Really, would we trust a bunch of fearful friends telling us about a "ghostly" visitation? If Jesus had appeared to them, showed them his scarred hands and feet, and taught them from the scriptures, why were their locks still tightly set against outsiders? Why weren't they out on the streets telling the amazing story (Luke 24, John 20)? The "witnesses" weren't totally convinced or convincing.

Thomas was probably willing to believe, but the behavior and lack of confidence of fellow believers was hardly compelling. It would be off-putting to hear evidence from the still-terrified and anxious. In asking for proof, I see Thomas' desire to embrace something true, extraordinary, and supernatural.

Jesus honored Thomas' sincere request with an invitation to experience the evidence for himself. Jesus exteneded his hands and feet, and confirmed proof of his death and resurrection by exposing his pierced side.

In the same way, though Jesus' chided all the disciples for needing confirmation beyond his teaching, Jesus comes to us day after day with verification of his care. How many times has he proved himself to us, yet we continue to ask, "Are you really there? Do you love me? Am I safe with you?"

Since our daughter has been ill, I sometimes have a hard time trusting that God will heal her. That he cares for her. That he is present with her and us, and not absent or unconcerned. If he could heal, why doesn't he? If he could intervene, why does she suffer? If he is sovereign, why do tornadoes, floods, and hurricanes sweep away lives and livelihood? I have many questions, just like Thomas.

Then Jesus embraces me with the Holy Spirit's presence, assuring me again, "Touch my side. Look at the wounds I bore for you. Yes, I care. Yes, I am with you. You are never alone. You won't be forsaken through the end of the end of time and throughout eternity."

Ah, I remember. I remember! Once again, I touch the scars and run my hands over the gashed side. I'm utterly grateful for a patient loving God who draws me in year after year, decade after decade. Dependent on him, I join Thomas, saying with great relief and renewed faith, "My Lord and my God!!!"

The prison of our fears

Speaker and author Carol Kent shared the devastation that followed "life-without-parole" sentencing for her only son. 

"A parent's worst nightmare," she described it. When she finished, she told us, "You can tell me your stories, but please don't say my pain is much worse than yours. Pain is pain is pain, whether that is from illness, financial trouble, or other traumas."

Afterward I talked to our daughter. Kirsten said people often told her that they felt badly for her, "and though we are suffering, we can't imagine going through what you do." (She has severe juvenile rheumatoid arthritis.)

"No one has to go through what I do," said Kirsten. "Everyone has their own pain. There's no comparison between experiences."

Comparing the weight of humanity and downplaying our own suffering sends a clear message to someone in the middle of devastation. "Our hurts are bad, but yours is definitely worse. We feel so sorry for you..."

Such a statement of "comfort" carries the implication that if something even more horrid happens to someone else, this suffering is less than the other person's. Yet, how can we measure the brokenness and hurts? What kind of increment or tool could show the physical, emotional, or spiritual toll of stress, worry, or grief?

"Everyone's cross is shaped to their own back," says my mother, who has gone through many sorrows and trials. She is wise, after watching life go by.

Though not everyone is behind physical prison bars, many of us inhabit a prison of our fears. We worry that life will be too difficult, that good times may not last, or that we are not strong enough to survive the future.

Only God is able to sustain us. "Cast all your anxieties on him, for he cares for you," said the apostle. And, "Think on good things, and be thankful. And God's peace will surround you beyond your understanding." Such inner resilience and trust springs our prison gates open so we walk in freedom, no matter what our circumstances.

Lent Day 40: When all is lost

Their tomorrows were wiped away in an evening. All their hopes, dreams, ambitions, and aspirations attached to Jesus had come to nothing. For years, they'd followed him around the countryside, eating and sleeping where they were given hospitality. It hadn't been easy, but clearly he was someone special.

"He said he'd come to set up a kingdom, and we expected to be elevated with him." And, "We left everything to follow him, but it's been for nothing. He's dead. Gone. We can't believe it!"

Sometimes when hope is utterly dead, God is still at work. "It's not over until it's over." In other words, the outcome is determined by God, not by our understanding.

How could the disciples expect that, just when all was lost, the unthinkable was taking place. Not only a kingdom of earth and humanity was rising, but Jesus was proclaiming dominion over evil, hell, and even death itself. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable... until Easter morning.

In retrospect, it is easier to see the power and majesty of God. When we are wading through darkness, smeared with blame and guilt, drowning in unmet goals, we forget whose resurrection we celebrate. Each day, whether it is challenging or a walk-in-the-park, Jesus who died and rose again sustains us.

Hallelujah for the cross, especially when it seems, to our finite understanding, that all is lost.

One more week - don't miss the show!

Playwright Douglas Anderson to visit Taproot Theatre for post-play talkback, April 28

SEATTLE – April 22, 2011 – Patrons attending one of the final performances of The Beams are Creaking at Taproot Theatre are in for a special treat. Playwright Douglas Anderson is visiting Seattle from Vermont to see the show and will speak at a post-play talkback on the evening of Thursday, April 28.

The Beams are Creaking—directed by Karen Lund—has sold so well that Taproot Theatre has had to add performances—twice. Initially slated to close on April 23, all performances through that date are sold out. Seating is extremely limited on the dates of the extension, April 28, 29 and 30. Tickets are available through Taproot Theatre’s box office at 206-781-9707 and online at www.taproottheatre.org; audiences hoping to attend the show are advised to buy their tickets soon before they sell out.

A riveting true story full of political intrigue, conspiracy, romance and thrills, The Beams are Creaking continues Taproot Theatre 35^th Anniversary Season. Set in Germany in 1933, the Nazi party has taken power. In the face of the greatest evil of the 20th century, Dietrich Bonhoeffer battles questions of morality, political allegiance and religious conviction, and must make choices that could change the course of history. This true story will keep audiences on the edge of their seats.

###

The Beams are Creaking

By Douglas Anderson

Directed by Karen Lund

WHEN: Through April 30

Remaining performances:

-          Friday, April 22, 8 p.m.

-          Saturday, April 23, 2 p.m.

-          Saturday, April 23, 8 p.m.

-          Thursday, April 28, 7:30 p.m. – featuring a post-play talkback with Douglas Anderson

-          Friday, April 29, 8 p.m.

-          Saturday, April 30, 8 p.m.

WHERE: Taproot Theatre Company, 204 North 85^th Street, Seattle, WA 98103

TICKETS: Tickets are available online at www.taproottheatre.org/buy-tickets/ and through Taproot Theatre’s box office, in person or by phone at 206.781.9707. Tickets range from $27-35, depending on the performance. Taproot offers a $3 senior/student discount off regular priced tickets (excludes previews). $10 tickets are available for ages 25 and under. Discounts are available for parties of 8 or more through Group Sales; call 206.781.9708.

ABOUT: Germany, 1933: The Nazi party has taken power. In the face of the greatest evil of the 20th century, Dietrich Bonhoeffer battles questions of morality, political allegiance and religious conviction. This true story will keep you on the edge of your seat as a tale of intrigue, conspiracy and high treason unfolds.

ABOUT TAPROOT THEATRE COMPANY

Taproot Theatre Company is a professional, non‐profit theatre company with a multi‐faceted production program. Founded in 1976, Taproot Theatre serves the Pacific Northwest with Mainstage Productions, Touring Productions and the Acting Studio. Taproot exists to create theatre that explores the beauty and questions of life while bringing hope to our search for meaning. Taproot Theatre Company is a member of Theatre Communications Group (TCG), Theatre Puget Sound (TPS), and the Greenwood‐Phinney Chamber of Commerce.

Thanks to our show sponsor, Cereus, and our opening night sponsor, The Upper Crust. Support for Taproot Theatre’s 2011 Mainstage season is generously provided by The Charles Simonyi Fund for Arts and Sciences, The Seattle Foundation, 4Culture, ArtsFund and PONCHO.

Lent day 39: Oh dreadful day

Today I remember
When they dragged you away
Spat on your holy face
Beat your innocence
Cursed your righteousness
And accused you of things you did not do.

It was for me
And those like me
That you endured the day
Oh dreadful day.

Oh terrible day
When the universe shuddered at our blasphemy
And God turned from you in turning toward us.

Today I remember
And pause to worship the bloody feet
The beaten brow
The torn back
The face plucked of beard.

Oh dreadful day
When angels wept at God's wrath
Satisfied by God's terrible love.

Oh wonderful, awe-filled day.
I remember and say
"Thanks be to God who gives us the victory
Through our Lord Jesus Christ."

Lent Day 38: Perplexed but protected

The whirlwind week swept Jesus and his disciples toward the unknown, untamed horrors of crucifixion. Jesus warned them, "I'm going to die. After three days I'll rise again."

Well, what could that mean? He'd raised a dead girl and said she was "asleep." He was likely "dead tired." (Not that we know they used that expression.) Besides, everyone died sooner or later. What on earth was he talking about? The disciples probably shrugged it off as another mysterious parable or saying. Jesus was sometimes hard to understand, after all.

The whole troop celebrated a feast together just before Passover and a few weird things happened. Judas stomped off into the night after Jesus talked to him. Jesus played the role of a servant and washed their stinky, dirty feet -- after a sharp rebuke to Peter, who wanted no part in humiliating his rabbi. And Jesus said something about bread as representing body, wine representing blood... whatever.

Life with Jesus can be perplexing. We think we understand what God wants. After all, the words we hear are spoken in our language and sound logical.

But it's sometimes hard to understand what is meant or what God expects us to be or do. We may go forward in "obedience," only to run into an impenetrable wall. We think we should wait, and miss an opportunity of a lifetime. We move from great success to utter failure, without any apparent change of direction on our part. What's going on?

We have no answer to that question. Sometimes we can see the point of the journey but other times, it remains veiled in a fog of unresolved experiences.

What we do know is that Jesus moved steadily, faithfully toward the death that would engulf him. He took his disciples with him, through the pain of his suffering, through the shock and grief of his brutal death, and through the quiet denial of loss. They only understood enough to live through each day and fall exhausted into bed each night.

Whatever faces us, God is not overtaken by surprise. We walk with him through the valley of the shadow of death. "I fear no evil there," said the songwriter, having been through war and peace, feast and famine. "Because you are with me, your rod and staff comfort me. You even prepare a feast for me when my enemies surround me."

In this Holy Week, on Maundy Thursday, take God's outstretched hand. He remembers what it is to suffer, to grieve, and to see those around us oblivious to our pain.

Lent Day 37: Crushed but not forsaken

Even the helpless can have hope. Sometimes life crushes us, falling on us to extinguish all optimism. Yet, "LORD, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will hear their cries and comfort them. You will bring justice to the orphans and the oppressed, so mere people can no longer terrify them." (Psalm 10:17-18 NEV)

As Christians, we are sure that God knows the limits of what we can bear. Not all of us could be Jesus, martyred and forsaken, but each of us will experience the brokenness and sadness of being human. There's nothing that God cannot see us through, walk into with us, or transform to make the future worth living. 

I marvel at Jesus' goodness and kind intentions toward us, thinking of his travels with sure steps toward the cross -- it would have been only a day or two away from crucifixion today in his last week -- leaving behind safety and a good life to move toward us.

Because of Jesus' steadfast endurance and willingness to suffer for us, we have a sure hope. We have confidence in the relationship and healing God has provided through Christ. As the prophet wrote, inspired by a God who is not afraid of the future: "Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." (Isaiah 53:4-5 NIV)

Lent Day 36: All of God

Yesterday, I sat in on a discussion of a book on heaven and hell. The author contends that everyone will eventually come to realize that God is worth following, and accept Jesus as God's provision. Some interesting questions were raised by the writer. Does God really want us to talk to others about the yucky consequences of displeasing him? Or is he "unconditional love who accepts us?" as an attendee yesterday said. That's a nice idea, and one we might wish was true, but it's not found in scripture.

Leaning back in my comfy chair, watching the well-dressed and well-fed students and others in the room, I agreed with the professor who admitted: "This discussion could only take place in the US or Europe. The rest of the world isn't buying it." Elsewhere, justice can be swift and capricious, and people understand that going against authority has consequences.

Fragmenting God into love and ignoring his justice and righteousness, or vice versa -- stressing only his justice and righteousness and ignoring his love -- creates warps and imbalances that keep popping up in the Church. Eventually, following either extreme with human logic leads to heresy. God is LOVE, but he is also GOOD, which gives us a plumbline for living with integrity.

God was kind enough to make a provision for our sins and failures that is sufficient to satisfy his righteousness and bring him and humankind into a loving relationship. What more could we ask for? In our wildest dreams, would we expect this generosity and agony on our behalf?

Apparently, most people (including theologians) think Jesus is "not enough" ...so we need to figure out loopholes and "kinder, more inclusive" solutions to the human dilemma of brokenness and wrongdoing. It upsets me when ministers question publicly what God says about himself, teaching the blind to follow them into the ditch of apostasy. Forums of study, scholarship, and accountability groups are better places to air doubts and think through challenges, rather than confusing the untrained and the spiritually immature.

Scripture warns that teachers will be more severely judged because of their influence over others, and because a relationship with God must be the core of their teaching. Rob Bell and others take note!

Lent Day 35: Poetic pondering

I found this poem, written by Kevin Hartnett, who "works for NASA at the Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland, overseeing the science operations activities of the mission. He was selected in 2003 from a thousand candidates as the “Poet of the Year” by the Fellowship of Christian Poets." Kevin blogs at http://khartnettpoetry.typepad.com/kevin_hartnett_poetry.

This about these words during the Holy Week before Easter. I'm using this poem as meditation in personal  devotions this week. It feels like a hymn.

How awesome is that day to me-
O day of hallowed history!
Set time in God’s determined plan
To sacrifice the Son of Man.
What famous work that day was done
By Jesus Christ, His Perfect Son!
The Second Adam, sent to save,
Humbly obeying to the grave!

How savage is that day to me-
O day of pure brutality!
When Christ, the Son of God Most High,
Was fiercely whipped and hung to die.
And O the horror of my sin,
Seen there in His appalling skin!
For God struck down- as meant for me-
The sinless One, at Calvary.

How precious is that day to me-
O day of purchased liberty!
In Him, a freeman now I live;
My sins, through death, did God forgive.
No wrath at length looms o’er my head,
But lovingkindness there instead.
His righteousness, my guilt replaced,
And Love, this ransomed soul embraced!

O awesome, savage, precious day-
‘Tis God the Savior on display!
What peerless, holy, gracious Mind
Would fashion such a Grand Design?

RK endnote: When reading, my heart was moved. How about yours?

Lent Day 34: The sure foundation

The will of God sometimes seems subject to the whims of men and the obstruction of institutions. We do our best to fit in with what God is doing, but the road to the future is not always a straight line. And the voyage is not always pleasant.

In the process of working toward a degree, I've submitted several proposals. Some have been significantly different from others, but most of them seem like the same thing to me, tweaked and re-tweaked in the stumble toward an "angle" acceptable to my readers and advisers. Along the way, I've varied between excitement at "This is it! Please, please let me do this!" and sheer boredom with the normal, back-and-forth exchanges within academia.

My fellow students say the same thing: "This is crazy! Will we ever get done?" Some have tossed in the towel because, "It's too much work," or "This is nonsensical busy work," or "I just can't be bothered. I have other things to do." Both reactions are expected by our professors.

All that keeps me stubbornly moving ahead is a spiritual call to finish what I've started. My journey of faith moves through THIS landscape, whatever the procedures, whatever the route, and whatever the system I have to wade through.

Those of us still on the road to a PhD continually ask each other, "Is it fun?" No (unanimous). "Is it interesting?" Rarely (unanimous). "Is it frustrating?" Yes (unanimous). "Is it an ordeal that sometimes makes us clench our teeth and feel like screaming?" Oh, yes (unanimous). "Are we learning?" Well, sort of. We've learned that the doctoral process and its wheels of institutionalism will grind on us as they have ground on thousands of others, until we are spit through the academic machine onto a stage for a piece of paper. Few people care about the actual subject that interests us.

So, for all of us who've landed where the only point of being here seems to be for some person, hierarchy, or politicians to make the road as rough as possible... for those in ministries that seem stuck and going nowhere... for those who feel our contributions are irrelevant and under-appreciated... for those bowed down with cares and burdens that are crushing us... what do we know for sure?

• God is our foundation, as the prophet says: "He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure." (Isaiah 33:6 NIV)

• His word is a true and trustworthy anchor: "The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul; the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple; the statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever; the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb." (Psalm 19:7-10 NKJV)

• God alone knows the future. Our job is to trust and obey in the present. His presence settles our hearts, no matter where the journey takes us today.

Sometimes a door closes to force us to move away from comfort to somewhere else. Sometimes it closes because a bigger opportunity awaits. Sometimes we just learn patience and hope. Disappointments help us to consider options we would never been open to in more comfortable surroundings.

Let's keep our eyes open and our running shoes on! God indeed is the sure foundation from which -- and to which -- we launch ourselves from green pastures into the unknown, again and again.

Lent Day 32-33: Life in the fish bowl

The diversity in our three aquariums fascinates me because it mirrors much of life. Two are saltwater, and one is fresh. The first (tucked in a guest room as a "spare" in case the main one "tanks," if you know what I mean) is no trouble at all. I top it off with salt or fresh water, change the bulbs and filter medium every half year or so... and that's it. The fish eat every two days and swim with vigor. Crabs, shrimp, and snails keep the algae at bay. Red coraline algae grows and keeps the water clean. Once in a while something dies and I fish it out. No problems.

The other salt aquarium requires constant maintanance. It has the best live rock, great lighting and filtration, good livestock, but only one fish - who has lived through algae blooms, hermit crabs gone mad and eating every snail within reach, and cyanobacteria spikes. I'm constantly fighting green fronds growing over the live rock, sheets of it sluicing down the walls, and clumps spreading on the sand.

And finally, a freshwater tank sits on my desk. I brought 10 tetras and a few free guppies home after I'd arranged rocks and live plants, filter and lights. Voila, "It was very good."

Except that two nights later, the glass cracked and leaked 5 gallons of water down an irreplaceable library card cabinet onto the rug. I scrambled to get a cheap tank to put in the fish. Overnight in the stocking pail, several fish up-ended. I was left with about a third of the original occupants.

It's not pretty. The light cords hang over the front of the glass and the filter hangs off the visible edge, the only places they're accessible for maintenance. My eyes have become accustomed to "not seeing" the ugliness, blocking out the systems to see the beauty behind them. Most of the time it is calming and soothing to see the plants waving in the current, fish darting or fluttering their fins between them.

A few weeks after our deluge, I found a replacement tank to fit the original lighting and filtration. But I have to wait for new flooring (bamboo to match the rest of the upstairs) before I unsettle the fish again.

Meanwhile, the fish are unaware. They flourish in the temporary set-up, eating every two days, snails multiplying and plants growing around them. I thin the plants, feed fairly regularly, and rinse the filter every month or so. Low maintenance, and so relaxing!

Like my fish tanks, life is contained in our surroundings. Whether or not the environment is hostile or friendly, some people seem to thrive while some languish or give up altogether.

During Lent, I remember Jesus, who had initial hurrahs and "You're the man!" until people got tired of him and his message. They turned away in hostility and dismay when he disrupted their lives. He broke the rules and showed God's expectation of obedience to his law. He pointed out the hypocrisy and self-aggrandizement of "important people." He sent a herd of pigs over a cliff after exorcising a person's demons (ooh, not politically correct today either). And he refused to be drawn into circles of power and politics so he seemed irrelevant and impotent to those who valued human esteem.

My coach Jodi reminded me this week that Jesus rarely told anyone, "Hey, pay attention. I'm God's Son." Sometimes, if people figured it out, he even said, "Hush, don't spread that around!" We don't always have to be "preaching" and "proclaiming." Also, it's actually obnoxious to God when we hoard power or put others "in their place" because of our position in a company or organization.

Our role is to live where God has put us with love and integrity, in places fair and foul. Around the world, many Christians suffer and die each day. In other places, we enjoy peace and prosperity. God takes pleasure in watching over and caring for us, no matter what or where our fish bowl. I for one am very grateful for that today.

Taproot extends Bonhoeffer show. Don't miss it!

Nearly sold-out for remainder of run, Taproot Theatre adds performance of The Beams are Creaking


SEATTLE – April 13, 2011 – Playing to sold-out houses, Taproot Theatre has added a performance of The Beams are Creaking on Tuesday, April 19, at 7:30 p.m. By Douglas Anderson and directed by Karen Lund, The Beams are Creaking is a riveting true story full of political intrigue, conspiracy, romance and thrills.

Set in Germany in 1933, the Nazi party has taken power. In the face of the greatest evil of the 20th century, Dietrich Bonhoeffer battles questions of morality, political allegiance and religious conviction, and must make choices that could change the course of history. This true story will keep audiences on the edge of their seats.

The Beams are Creaking runs Wednesdays through Saturdays through April 23, plus the added performance on Tuesday, April 19. Tickets are available through Taproot Theatre’s box office at 206-781-9707 and online at www.taproottheatre.org.

###


The Beams are Creaking
By Douglas Anderson
Directed by Karen Lund

WHEN: Through April 23 (Wednesday-Thursday, 7:30 p.m.; Friday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; Saturday matinees, 2 p.m.)

WHERE: Taproot Theatre Company, 204 North 85th Street, Seattle, WA 98103

TICKETS: Tickets are available online at www.taproottheatre.org/buy-tickets/ and through Taproot Theatre’s box office, in person or by phone at 206.781.9707. Tickets range from $27-35, depending on the performance. Taproot offers a $3 senior/student discount off regular priced tickets (excludes previews). $10 tickets are available for ages 25 and under. Discounts are available for parties of 8 or more through Group Sales; call 206.781.9708.

ABOUT: Germany, 1933: The Nazi party has taken power. In the face of the greatest evil of the 20th century, Dietrich Bonhoeffer battles questions of morality, political allegiance and religious conviction. This true story will keep you on the edge of your seat as a tale of intrigue, conspiracy and high treason unfolds.

ABOUT TAPROOT THEATRE COMPANY
Taproot Theatre Company is a professional, non‐profit theatre company with a multi‐faceted production program. Founded in 1976, Taproot Theatre serves the Pacific Northwest with Mainstage Productions, Touring Productions and the Acting Studio. Taproot exists to create theatre that explores the beauty and questions of life while bringing hope to our search for meaning. Taproot Theatre Company is a member of Theatre Communications Group (TCG), Theatre Puget Sound (TPS), and the Greenwood‐Phinney Chamber of Commerce.

Thanks to our show sponsor, Cereus, and our opening night sponsor, The Upper Crust. Support for Taproot Theatre’s 2011 Mainstage season is generously provided by The Charles Simonyi Fund for Arts and Sciences, The Seattle Foundation, 4Culture, ArtsFund and PONCHO.

Lent Day 29-30: Nothing withholding

Giving 100% of self is one of the hardest things we do. Whether we are protecting ourselves because of insecurity, past hurts, or other "reasons," we don't allow ourselves to be fully vulnerable.

Jesus gave everything for us. I'm thinking today about what giving everything back to him and to others would be like, and how it would feel. Are we willing to expose our "self" to draw near to God? Do we trust his protection by serving him without reservations?

Jesus said: As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. 

This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. John 15:9-14 NKJV

Lent Day 28: Fearless

Was he spoiling for trouble? Looking for a fight? Or just passing through?

"When Jesus arrived on the other side of the lake, in the region of the Gadarenes, two men who were possessed by demons met him. They lived in a cemetery and were so violent that no one could go through that area." (Matthew 8:28 NLT)

Most of us would avoid going through an area where there was trouble. We have two opposite acquaintances, who approach danger in completely opposite ways.

The first makes a wide detour at the faintest whiff of conflict. We once hugged the path on the far walls of a parking garage of the symphony hall, returning to the car after a concert.

A few college students stood chatting near the normal walkway. "You never know if they're friendly," said my friend, leading me the long way around.

The second moved his family to the inner city to begin a long-term (probably lifelong) commitment to that community and contribute to its rehabilitation as an insider. His kids go to the same schools as their neighbors. The family is part of the dangerous, conflicted world around them. Seeing their staying power, everyone looks out for them, as they look out for others.

I'm somewhere between. Staying with some women at a friend's property, I hollered from the roof deck at a gun-toting hunter who crossed over onto the acreage with his dogs, "Hey, get off my land!" I knew our friend wouldn't want anyone shooting a gun in his yard.

My girlfriend was shocked and turned to me with eyes wide: "You don't know if that man will turn around and shoot you!"

What? That never crossed my mind. He was trespassing, and a dog person. He was shooting grouse, not a man-hunter. Besides, Tom would want him gone. We were there. Tom was not. So, a shout seemed in order and did the trick, even if it nearly caused a heart-attack inside our house.

Jesus had courage born of security in his heavenly Father. There was no doubt in his conversations and no fear in his approach to those others found extreme or scary. Knowing his God was capable of transforming the hardest heart and healing the deepest wounds, he walked boldly and with confidence through the world.

There's a place for wisdom and caution, but it may not always be best to avoid challenges. Learning to listen to the Spirit and God's wisdom can give us holy audacity and wise bravery to join God at work.

The wise man said, "My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life. I will teach you wisdom's ways and lead you in straight paths. When you walk, you won't be held back; when you run, you won't stumble. Take hold of my instructions; don't let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life." (Proverbs 4:10-13)

Lent Day 27: With thanksgiving

"Here's something that you might like. Tell me what you think about it," she said, handing me a book.

It's not like I don't have enough books. I do. I'm surrounded by them. But I trust her judgment, and started to read "One Thousand Gifts." It was both a surprise and a pleasure.

The premise is that happiness comes from a grateful heart. That's hardly a new idea. 

This morning's devotional scripture was a familiar one: Philippians 4:4-7. "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

The book got me thinking about the unexpected things for which we can be grateful, beyond beauty and basic resources. Things like:

• People who show up unasked, to help others
• Challenges that are not quite as insurmountable as feared
• Broad shoulders of a counselor
• Waters that turn out to be a pleasant swim rather than an uncomfortable dunk
• Mysteries unveiled as opportunity and education

Jesus seemed always to be aware of God as the source of every blessing. What makes you grateful and happy today?

Lent Days 25-26: Sincere love

"Love must be sincere." The verse slaps me awake.

How many times have I said, "Love you!" casually, without any attachment to the person supposedly "loved?" How many times have I lied, my conscience hardly stirred by the lack of commitment that loving implies?

Yesterday morning, the caregiver found my uncle kneeling by his bedside, passed from this life to the next. He'd suffered from cancer, but almost had it licked last year, after his daughter and her family took over his treatment.

My cousin had heard about Gerson Therapy, a high nutrient, multi-enema treatment that requires more stamina on the part of the helpers than from the patient. She purchased a costly juicer shopped for bench padding, rug covers for the cold tiles in his bath, and soft bedding to make her dad comfortable. Her son built a bench with hooks for the enemas.

When I saw Kara after a few weeks of taking care of her father, she was already exhausted. Every morning, she got up at 5 or 6am to start the juicer, and get her dad settled. The day never slowed down or stopped. Every weekend, she and several helpers scrubbed, peeled, chopped, and packaged organic greens and other vegetables for four hours, stowing them in the extra fridge for the week ahead. Kara and her husband slow-cooked a huge pot soup several times a week. She even ate the bland lunches with her dad. The strict timetables, her cleanup, and preparations for the next day usually ended near midnight.

Within three months, my uncle went from yellow-skinned, at-death's-door, and frail to rebounding in health. His tumors had shriveled and disappeared, and his skin became pink again. When he moved home, my cousin had given him another year of life.

She modeled love as sincere and unfeigned as I've ever seen. "I'm not doing this to be noticed," she said when I commented on the lack of affirmation she experienced. Her husband helped with all his might, but no one else stepped up or supported her during those grueling months. "I'm doing this because I really, really love my dad. He's always been there for me."

Reading the passage from Romans on the day of my uncle's death, I remembered Kara's unselfish devotion. "Kara, you did everything you could, and did it unto the Lord. You showed us what true love is, and we are amazed and grateful for you!"

May God give us the same love Kara exhibited, when we are called to heroic service for others -- the love of Christ.

Rom. 12:9 "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."

Lent Day 24: Waiting the day

Today is a fine day to expect the Presence of God to surround and sustain us. What do we need from God today, that meditation on God's goodness and confidence in his Ability and Power (omnipotence) would offer? Consider this passage, as you wait on him:

My soul, wait silently for God alone,
         For my expectation is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation;
         He is my defense;
         I shall not be moved.
In God is my salvation and my glory;
         The rock of my strength,
         And my refuge, is in God.
        
Trust in Him at all times, you people;
         Pour out your heart before Him;
         God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:5-8

Lent Day 23: From here to there and back again

"The land of the free? We have never encountered so many rules as in America!" our Swiss friends exclaimed. They have worked and invested in the USA for several years. There are many things they love about living here, but we examined some of the trade-offs of living somewhere other than our native land.

We'd also been talking about Singapore, and what a great place it was to visit and do business. Though the country is perceived as legalistic by Americans, expectations and consequences are clear and enforced. Don't do crime, you won't do time. "Here there are laws for this and that, and you have to be careful because you don't always know what you are doing wrong until you are sued."

The conversation moved along to spurious and overblown lawsuits and the caution of foreign companies investing here. Of course the McDonald "hot coffee" fiasco-of-justice-settlement came up, among other examples they'd noticed in the past year. "In Switzerland, if you accuse someone and you lose, you have to pay their legal costs. Here, you have to pay to defend yourself. If you would have to pay to accuse falsely, maybe people would think twice!" We know. We know... those who lose must pay court fees in Canada, too.

"Parents don't take their children outside every day, something no Swiss parent would consider. The junk food stuffed down as meals seems like child abuse. And the over-protection that prevents adventures and leads children to expect adult supervision every minute?" Head-shakingly odd to our friends.

In fact, I met this charming, careful, and holistic-minded mom in a coffee shop, where her 6 month old son Marki was clinging to the side of his stroller, 20 feet away from where she was ordering a drink and pastry. I knew right away this was no local family!

Dora makes baby food and soothes her children with herbal teas rather than sugary fruit juice or cows milk. She walks outside for miles with the kids every day, rain or shine, snow or sleet (almost like UPS). That's normal where she comes from.

Yesterday, Dora's darling, now two years old, carried his miniature backpack a mile to our house and trudged back up our hill toward home afterwards. The pack was filled with juice bottles, toys, and a clean diaper for his baby sister, who was sleeping in the stroller. I chuckled as Marki backed up to me, holding the backpack out, slipping an arm through, and waiting patiently while I fastened the clips. He demonstrated the whistle on the strap under his chin. It's been great fun to watch these sturdy, healthy Swiss toddlers roaming and learning in the freedom of childhood, the way I remember it for myself.

Every country has its own quirks. When we live abroad or in a foreign land, the assumptions of the populace can take us by surprise. Our feelings of safety and danger, right and wrong are deeply embedded beyond self-recognition. Our understanding of politeness and permissions wraps around our worldview so tightly that there can be no "neutral" entry to another culture.

I wonder how Jesus felt, coming from the wealth and freedom of heaven to engage the poverty mentality, the "cannot-do" of his disciples, and the hopelessness of those around him. Luke 9 reports an exasperated and sad comment from Jesus after yet another failure: "Don't you get it? How long do I have to explain this?"

The writer to the Hebrews says that Jesus' followers are likewise strangers and aliens. If we're getting too comfortable, maybe our worldview has not yet been transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:1-2). Or maybe we're forgetting that our journey destination is eternal, not permanent settlement in a temporary and strange land.

Lent Day 22: Not quite right

Well, the plan was to finish a part of my proposal, and then to relax and do some art. I was going to photograph the monoprints when I was done, instead of writing. Instead, it's been an unfocused mismash of phone calls, getting up to let the dogs out, and art gone wrong.

I wonder if Jesus had days when he just threw his hands up in the air and sat around doing "nothing." Sometimes things just don't come together, so it's time to relax and let it go.

Today is one of those days, and I think I'll use the blank space between my ears to reflect on how beautifully everything works together when God is in it. The perfect forest outside is a wonderful contrast to my morning!

Lent Day 21: Forsaking all others

"Will you forsake all others and cleave only unto him/her?" asks the minister in the traditional marriage ceremony.

We expect to love this one person for the rest of our lives. Why else would a family invest in the expense, energy, and performance of a wedding? Why would a groom get his finances in order, invest in a home, or spend a fortune on dates? Meanwhile, his bride spends every waking minute thinking about the ceremony, the reception, the bridesmaids...

We think "this one" will meet our emotional, physical, and other needs. After all, he or she is practically perfect. The man has pursued his love and can now rest content that she belongs to him. The woman has captured a man's affections and with a bit of tweaking, will have the ideal mate. Yet for some it takes only hours for disenchantment to set in. Those habits - toothbrush, sleeping, clothing (on the floor or on the spouse), eating - "drive me crazy!!!" A lifetime of this? Oh, no!

God often pictures his relationship with us as a marriage. Marriage requires an ongoing series of accommodations. So, why would the adjustments in our commitment to God be any easier than a marriage between peers? And why do we assume our allegiance to Him comes naturally or automatically?

My walk with God keeps growing deeper, but not without pain and setting aside other relationships and desires. He demands sole allegiance, while I keep getting sidetracked by the love of things, of ideas, and of goals I'd like to achieve... sometimes without considering what He planned for our relationship.

Forsaking all others, I promised when I began to follow Christ. May it some day be completely true! 

Read more:
*I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. Psalm 139:14-16 NKJV

*Jesus: "The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete." John 3:29 NIV

*Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Rev. 19:7 NIV