Choices about handling change

It's frustrating to be a non-techie in an electronics driven household. New tools that cause great excitement among W and the kids produce dread in me. Oh no. They'll move everything around, upgrade the processes I understand, and shake their heads because I don't intuitively "get it."

This morning I wanted to do something simple: put the Kindle on my IPad so I could read a book. My conversation with my genius husband, during several phone calls:

• He:"Are you sure it's not already there?" Yes. I checked.
• I install it and call him back.
• Me: "It's asking for my account. What are the ID and Password you prefer me to use, please." He: "Check email. Because of hacking, this changes often." 
• I find the email. Call him back.
• He: "BTW: don't install it on your IPad. It's better if you put it on your Mac and access it from there..." 
• ...from which it totally deteriorates. He has a unique access ID for the app store on the IPad. Go there and do ? ... After which I'm supposed to install ? on the Mac? But I'll be accessing the Mac-installed version on the IPad... Huh?
• He: "From what you're telling me, it sounds like you've already got the app." Yes, I did that after the first call. But when I open the app it's asking me for access codes and I still need to know which password he wants the app under... etc.
• He: "Forget it. Bring the IPad to lunch and I'll look at it."

We could have started and ended the conversation with the final line.

I don't understand basic terms or processes because the family "fixes" things on computers I use. Shaking their heads when they lose me at Instruction#2, the guys appropriate my gear, put stuff on it, update it ("Oh please hon, don't install updates. Some of them are spam...") and then wonder why I'm destined for the rest of life as a tech idiot. Something happens to my gurus? We'll have piles of electronics rubbish. C,mon and get it!

Sigh. That's what I get for marrying a brilliant computer nerd and having nerdy children. I envy that term in the most complimentary way. I'm not intuitive in electronics or IT: I've never developed the basic understanding of how things work.

[Mind you, the kids would be clueless with my art materials, in design and decor, and in most of the things I do without thinking. I DID train our four kids to cook and clean so the boys would be good husbands and our daughter could run a home. Lucky girl, she's a design whiz and can do most of what I do better, faster, with more zip. And her brothers help her stay current on all the gadgets. Cool.]

If you're struggling with a category of change like I do with computers, what are our choices?

1. Get someone to implement the change and learn how to use it. (I'm forced to do this since it causes the least disruption on a busy spouse's to-do list.)
2. Watch someone manage incremental changes and updates (or read about them) and try to do it yourself next time. Contact an expert when you're out of your depth. This is usually the easiest way to learn. However, when there's extreme discrepancy between skill sets like between my husband and me in tech, it causes a lot of frustration. "Don't you know you can't do that?" they moan, fixing whatever mess or virus I caused. If you don't choose this option, you stay stupid and behind the curve in understanding what's going on. However, you can use the updated technology/ process/ item in limited ways that may be "enough!" for you.
3. Learn the basics and keep adapting. Start from the ground up. Figure out what's going on so you can flow with changes. This is the healthiest option if you are responsible for changes and have to manage them yourself. My husband and kids constantly exchange information and pool their resources. (My apologies to Sunday lunch guests for the occasional "boring" conversations as they update each other. Mind you, techies are delighted. The rest of us zone out until the letters and numbers stop flying around.)

Thank God for making us all different. He surrounds us with help if we are willing to ask. That assistance may not come the way we hope or expect, but there is enough gifting in those around us to get through the days and tasks as it pleases our Master. Questions to ask in seasons of change:

• What should I be learning and doing myself?
• What should I be asking someone to help me with?
• What should I never touch on my own?

Lord have mercy, she says as she hangs up the phone again. He's shaking his head on the other end, hoping she doesn't touch anything.


Read more:
*My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. Isaiah 55:8

*Jesus said to Simon and Andrew, “Follow me and I will make you fish for people.” And immediately they left their nets and followed him. Mark 1:17-18 

*(Jesus) "Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them."John 13:17
*Be joyful always; pray continually;  give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit’s fire;  do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it. 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-24 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Help us to continue to follow you, O Lord. Restore our hearts and renew our minds so that each action and motive may be of service in spreading your good news. Bless the casting of our nets upon the waters of this world, bringing to shore the bounty and beauty of your will. Amen.