Energy draining in color

Tuesday, May 26, 2020
My hands are a mess. They're full of paint. I am a messy artist. I splatter paint splattered around and need tissues or paper towels nearby to scrape or wash the colors off my work surface and hands.

Going on Zoom calls has become a lot more focused since I started doodling in an art journal. I remember SO much more about a meeting if my hands stay busy.

You know how much I love our team when this emerges from a weekly meeting. The first question today was, "What was the most fun you've had or what fun stuff are you looking forward to this week?"

My latest "play" is on a big canvas (50X75cm/20"X30"). Whatever feels good goes over the surface. I started with a basic botanical sketch of a plant that I lost interest in months ago. It was so ugly. Now I'm covering it up color by white by color, getting happier with it. It's slowly getting there (wherever "there" is). I hope to know when it's done. Not yet. Not yet.

 

I promise myself with each canvas that I'll limit the colors. That's almost impossible. I love color so much. Opening tubes of reds and yellows and blues makes me smile. One of the last paintings was just as bright. And it makes me just as happy.

I start with something real as the first layer - and then my moods take me away. If I'm not careful, that whole back bedroom may be filled with wild color and movement before this pandemic is over.

For me and those like me, art is an explosive release of energy. It's a "live-in-the-moment" that drains off much of the "oh-oh-we-can't-plan-a-thing" momentum that builds up inside.

My mom can tell you that energy has always been a thing for me. As a kid, it crested in meltdowns and tantrums, or kicking all the stain off the piano in my room. (Yeah, seeing that when I was 12 shocked me - there was not a lick of stain from my 4-yr-old reach to the floor! I got a lot of spanking for kicking the piano. Guess the boom boom boom wasn't as satisfying for my parents as for me. haha) 

Perhaps it's safer to throw paint around. Can I ask you parents to have patience with kids or teens who release their surges in rage or anxiety or a barrage of words? It's not something that we can always contain, though it can be channeled.

Even as adults, those of us with the surges that come from an "artist temperament" or a "soul in motion" (or maybe ADD?) need ways to let the wave crest. We're exhausted as it goes out so that's time we rest. I still catch a lot of quiet time when those waves recede.

Both art and writing sure make a mess of my office. While in process, I couldn't care less. But I try to clear out, put away everything, and clean up the surface of my desk before leaving in the afternoon. That way, I'm inspired to create a new disaster zone out of a neat space every morning!

Most of our friends and peers are exhausted. We hear it over and over. This transition to a new kind of thinking, being, and working is hard on everyone. Their kids are crabby or climbing the walls. The adults are trying to avoid as many online meetings as possible. It's a crazy in-between time, isn't it?

Each of us needs to establish new rhythms. We need new habits of spiritual renewal and soul care. We also need to foster healthy eating, sleeping, and exercise.

How are you doing on that? You holding your own?

Saturday, May 30, 2020
It's a grandson's 5th birthday - Happy Birthday, Isaac! He waited two days after his dad's birthday, to enter the world. We were all impatient for his arrival. Happy Birthday, Timothy, too! We are blessed - and amused when T tells us, "Oh yes, I'm getting my birthday request." Kids crawling over him, lots of snuggles, and generally being told what to do by his 4 kids. Smiles. Good dad.

The offset in time zones (14 hours) makes a special-day call awkward - we're ready to celebrate but have to wait for the next day when people are awake and alert - or else call when we're ready for sleep.

On our morning walk, I stop by the office to clean the paludarium. Oh yuck - after 5 months of water changes and weekly cleanings, it's time for a thorough scrape-down. There's mud behind the aquarium algae tied to the back panel. (Great compost, but there are no plants in the office.)

It's nice and clean when I'm done - but W has to pry out the paper towel I poke in to clean the drip piping along the back rim. I need a long brush or pipe cleaner!

For lunch, I make homemade Navaho fry bread. I' decide on the bread as I glance through recipes scribbled onto a paper a few weeks ago. What goes with that bread? Maybe ground chicken and ... ? I raid the fridge and freezer by smell memory. As usual, it turns into a "little of this and that." It's tasty though.

I deep-fry chicken meatballs. Meanwhile the frozen chicken broth from W's suis vide chicken is thawing. To the broth, I add Asian-fried onions, kale, and seafood mushrooms along with Braggs Aminos, garlic salt, and a generous helping of Trader Joe 21-Seasoning. We toss the fried meatballs in at the end.

When the afternoon rain is done, the light shines through water droplets dangling from the tip of each leaf. It looks like the trees are strung with pearls.

 On our walks, the 14' tall New Zealand ferns are putting out fresh tips. (The wall is 4 meters high, for scale.)

 One front garden is a mass of color that stretches up and up.

 I see something fun in passing - how to make coasters from toilet paper rolls. Of course I have to try it. In 2 minutes, here it is.The top soaks condensation from my drink.

Our supper salad topples onto the stone tiles in the kitchen and the bowl smashes. But Waldemar's pizza is the best ever - a new 18-hr crust. He does enjoy an experiment. And he's getting better and better at this.

What did you eat today? Are you as grateful for a God who provides as I feel? Night is falling and the dogs snooze quietly, on guard in the yard.

Tomorrow's Sunday - the Lord's Day for us. Join us by clicking here. W's figured out how to get us translated into about 20 languages. If you have a heart-language or mother tongue, let us know how good the translations are, ok?

Read more:
*The Lord looks down from heaven on humankind to see if there are any who are wise, who seek after God. Psalm 14:2

*My tongue shall tell of your righteousness and of your praise all day long. Psalm 35:28
The disciples returned to Jerusalem with great joy; and they were continually in the temple blessing God. Luke 24:52-53

*Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

Moravian Prayer: Risen Lord, thank you for the many blessings you bestow on us daily. May we be reminded of your greatest gift—your triumph over death that leads us to our own eternal life. 

Heavenly Lord, it is all too easy to choose our own path instead of following you. Grant us the wisdom to see past the temptations of this world in order to walk more closely with you. Amen.

Celebrate! but check the potatoes

Saturday, May 23, 2020
What good food! Della, friend and caterer, sends over a feast. Our wonderful neighbor Dr Wuri sends soup and chicken and potato and other treats. We feast. When I finally remember, I take a picture of what's left - rendang, chicken soup, krupuk (crackers), and rice wrapped and smoked in a lattice of leaves  (already gone, sorry!) ... oh yum.

This has been the final Islamic day of fasting. Tonight will be the noisiest night of the year, the night that starts Idul Fitri (the wrap-up to Ramadan). All night long, people are marking the end of the month of fasting with firecrackers and chants, music and celebrations.

Sunday
Families and neighborhoods are together, many ignoring social distancing. There are far fewer trips to hometowns and far fewer cars on the road.

Most young people wear masks as chin straps. Their noses and mouths are left uncovered - or they wear no mask at all. We'll see if there's an acceleration of Covid in the next week or two.

We pray for God to spare this country the worldwide pandemic and many deaths. W's at the office par of the morning, making sure our Gathering online is going well.

For part of the morning, I join an online farewell for American colleagues who've left Indonesia. We're meeting via Zoom of course.

I tear up a napkin from one of the good demos sent over from Alice's house this week - it was a noteworthy moussaka. I glue some pieces on a journal page as I listen to the voices from around the world.

Tuning into the Gathering at BIC Online, it's fun to see families from the local church worshipping together. One dad sends a dance party  by his girls during the worship songs. So cute!

It's bittersweet when a family leaves that is fluent in Indonesian, has practical skills useful in times of disaster ... and who care so deeply about people. These guys acclimated well and lived in Indonesia almost 2 decades. But they knew that their kids need to finish high school in the USA.

Third culture kids balance two cultures: their parents' expectations at home (American, Australian, Korean, etc.) and the school and neighborhood cultures where they grow up. When they return to their parents' homeland, some have a difficult time finding a permanent home - either in that homeland or elsewhere in the world. They adjust better if they tether to their parents' home culture at some point, meeting extended family and making friends there.

For us, it's a quiet day of the heart, interacting with various communities. We take a walk in the afternoon, waving to friends nearby and exchanging blessings with families of those we know. These narrow uneven steps lead back to our neighborhood (ours is the far red roof) as we come out of the village lane.

The fig trees along the way are full of figs. (See all the grey lumps on the trunk?) The figs kind look like fungus as they ripen. Hmmm. Maybe we could plant a fig tree in the yard. Nah, our lease expires in 3 years. Maybe not.

W and K order pizza for lunch but I'm almost pizza-d out. So I make my own favorite food ... ramen with veggies, an egg, and other good additions. Everyone eats happily. And stashes away the left-over pizza for later.

K's pizza is so spicy that W takes the untouched half to the neighborhood security guards. Many kampungs or neighborhoods pay people a pittance to watch at the main entry. They try to make sure no mischief enters or leaves. Our neighborhood is no exception.

It's my turn to write the talk for the Gathering next week. That wants unscheduled and random time. If I can quiet my mind to hear God's voice, the talk flows onto the page.

This week is about "celebration." Rejoicing and taking notice of good things seems to be a neglected spiritual practice for many believers.

Most gods demand more ritual, more sacrifice, more rule-keeping. But our God gives his people a day off every week? Surely that's something to appropriate and cheer!

Between, I play with a friend's art piece. She barely had an hour on it on Art Sunday in December.

When I find it, I think it might be fun to add bits of paper, netting, floss, and paint to see what happens.

I might send the canvas back to Ruth for more work on her end. Thoughts?

Monday
I finish writing the Sunday talk before lunch. The online study has a big group today. We're discussion the book of Daniel. What a wild journey through history, prophecy, and prayers.

W and I eat lunch together but K is still resting. W eats some of his leftover pizza and a papaya salad from last week. He doesn't finish it all.

I make myself apple-pecan pancakes. Oh oh, they're delicious with maple syrup from Canada. I have a few leftovers to tuck away for supper, too. No more cooking today.

We go through the talk together, sitting on the porch with the birds chirping away. I must check if the potatoes are coming up in the pots beside the vegetable garden. It's the small things that get away from me.

W modifies his part as usual. The fun thing about speaking together is that one person writes the basic talk. The other other customizes it to their voice - and sometimes adds ideas of their own. We record it for our team to make comments and suggestions.

I'm watching some art podcasts, enjoying some new ways of journaling, and thinking deeply about what is to come. My heart is celebrating the goodness and protection of God, and asking for that to continue over the families who will be traveling back to work in large cities from their hometowns all over Indonesia.

There's much less traffic. The streets are quiet except for young kids playing on their parents' motorcycles. 3-4 pile on and roar by.

The caterpillars have completely stripped the 60' high (20 meter) tree outside our gate. My oh my. The silver bark is beautiful - this is a tropical version of "winter" where the tree rests and then leafs out again.

Read more:

*There is forgiveness with you, so that you may be revered. Psalm 130:4

*Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:13

*Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Moravian Prayer; Gracious God, your greatest commandment to love one another is often the hardest to follow. Give us strength to follow your example and forgive those who have hurt us. Amen.

What's next? (Who knows)

Friday, May 22, 2020
Masuk (Open another blog post?) Sure.

Our eldest son turned 40 this week, born a day after Mt St Helens erupted. We joke that it took a volcanic blast to push him into the world. According to the doc's mis/calculation, Jeremy arrived 15 days after his due date. We're glad he's here and glad he's ours. We'd make an Indonesian feast in your honor, son, if we could.

His sis Kirsten cooked us an amazing lemon-sweet pepper pasta last night, and I'm still smiling abut the taste. Each of the kids knows his/her way around the kitchen. Those noodles were yummy.

On another note about another kind of healthy living, I've been part of a Soul Care group for 6 weeks. Over a dozen leaders who live in all parts of the world have met for direction on how to care for self so we can lead well. Physical nourishment and exercise, spiritual intention, plus emotional and mental rest - they're vital reminders and takeaways. I'll miss the rhythms of those Thursday afternoon gatherings. And I'm miss the wise voices that spoke carefully to each other.

This Friday, by 11am, I've been in 3 meetings online. One is a memorial service for a coworker with cancer. Another is with an advisory mastermind. And tah dah! one is with my dear parents.

 It's helpful to be in the BIC office, which is empty and quiet except for the buzz of the weedwacker and the revving of some engines being repaired next door.

At least there's good internet. My desk calendar is empty; everything's recorded online. A teacup, some post-its, and a mask are at hand. That's all I need in front of me right now.

I pull out a paintbrush during the meetings. I need to make notes on the process of change, which is covered in one of the meetings.

I usually prefer to work from home, which has an equally nice but different view.

The home desk is cluttered with papers as I prep an class for next month. The syllabi are done and sent off. We need 2 distinct roadmaps in the syllabi because there are two education levels (BA and MA) in one classroom. I'm happy that the revised course outline is also close to finished.

Today, some terrific ideas come from the mastermind group. Some of the members are lecturers and all are leaders. They discuss what they'd hope to learn in such a course. Oh, ladies, you're awesome help!

It's funny to compare our fresh-faced videos from 8 weeks ago with the weariness we feel now, still not knowing what's coming in the next 2-4 months.

Then ...

Now...

I have a second question for the mastermind. "What would you want your team leader to communicate to the team?" Their feedback; "Tell us where we are now, where we will be soon (plans for the next few months), and where you think we're headed in the future. But hold that future loosely for us. It's going to be something else, other than what was before."

Yup, you and I are in transition to ... more change. No one thinks we're just going to walk through a doorway with everyone and everything on the other side the same as it used to be. God has permitted this disruption for his own reasons. He knows what we're learning from Him in the process.

What are you learning? What's your takeaway so far? Are you excited? Anxious? Numb? Running as fast as you can or resting?

W and I are part of several great teams. The great volunteers around us recognize many needs and ways to help.

Our prayer to God every day is, "What about this, in this place, in this time, is Your plan for us?"

How can we care for people and provide resources for what God is doing? You and I will do our best, but right now it's one step ahead of the other.

Read more:
*You who love the Lord, hate evil! Psalm 9:10

*[Christ said,] I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself. John 12:32

*[The apostle Peter tucks this wonderful prayer into his letter.] The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 4:7-11  NIV

*But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. Ephesians 4:15

Moravian Prayer; Great Teacher, we know that our faith as Christians is a journey. Help us to grow closer to you each day through practices of prayer, worship, and acts of love for one another and you. In your name, we pray. Amen.

Midweek: does it feel like the week is going up or down for you?

It's hard to imagine that it's midweek again. Are your days rolling together, one after another?

Hopefully you take time to worship on the weekend. It breaks up the sameness of the day with a pause to reflect on God's goodness and care. Here's our feed, in case you've not yet joined a Sunday meeting. (You can listen to the replay if you sleep in, too.)

I'm working away on the quilt whenever the mood strikes me. I'll be happy when it's done, I admit.

Sunday, May 12, 2020
Someone lamented that they don't like Sunday mornings because  they can't go to a faith gathering due to social distancing. I was thinking of what fun it is, actually. W and I were still eating our breakfast on the porch at 8am. Usually we're at the conference center by 7am on Sundays. It's a short walk or a quicker ride if we have lots of gear to take along.

Now we don't have to dress up. W pulls on everyday clothes and heads to the office for a few hours. The office has decent internet, unlike our house. He starts a BIC Online livestream that has been assembled earlier by many volunteers.

The streets that used to teem with people, motorcycles, and cars (and tour busses) are deserted.

Our favorite restaurant is shuttered, though there's always someone there to make sure no one takes off with the cold ovens and cutlery.

The bustling food carts across the street from #MissBeeProvodore are closed up, too. Some have been hauled away. That's where the the drivers and helpers eat while their employers are in the restaurant. Food there is 50c-$1 instead of $5-10 at Miss Bee.

Now our new Sunday normal is that we enjoy the online Gathering with everyone else, commenting and getting in touch with people as they listen and chat.

By noon, we're done with the followup and eating lunch. That didn't happen on Sundays before! We'll miss these quiet days.

More than anything else, we miss the conversation and snacks after the Gathering We miss greeting friends around the Community Table. It's not the same to "grab a snack and listen along with us online," as it is to give a hug and listen to someone tell you about their week, face to face. 

We don't know when we'll be able to return to the conference center. We hope it's sooner rather than later. We've heard that places that gathered "too soon" now have hundreds of people sick. We hope to avoid that!

I'm doing soooo much cooking. I don't mind. It's quick and I get to eat exactly what I'm hungry for. Win win. It takes about the same time as going out and W washes up when I cook and clear things away.

Today's lunch is roti parata (Indian bread, fried from a frozen pack) topped with everything left over from yesterday's pizza, which W made in his razzle-dazzle pizza oven (his kickstarter buy). It is tasty, along with sour, fizzy homemade kombucha.

The asst governor's place down the street is deserted, though the gate is partly open. The red detox booth stands empty near the door. Anyone going into his house has to stand in the booth to get disinfected.

Monday
There's so much beauty around. This root and trunk catches my attention as we walk the dogs.

We have several meetings online. I miss one in the middle and then haven't planned well for the one at night. So it gets rescheduled for next week.
 
I can tell that one meeting is stressful by the pictures that emerge in my zoom journal. Pure weirdness but I don't notice until I look at it again the next day. Eek.

I completely forget about doing the Monday FB livestream until the afternoon. It's a sign that I'm worn out by the new routines but I haven't locked into their rhythm yet. Oh well, it's 3pm but the day's not over yet.

Tuesday

I've set the alarm to 2:00 am for a webinar I really want to hear. I'm exhausted when I wake up but all I get is the Q&A at the end. The time zone is East Coast, which is one hour and daylight opposite us. I'm off by one hour. Ugh. I stay up to learn something anyway and read a while, before getting back to sleep at 4:00.

The morning team meeting is online. I host from the office for good internet. Oh, I love a desk with a clean room all around me.

Well, it is cluttered with gear for recording. The coffee table is in front of the work table, propping up a monitor. If I pretend that all is in order, it's a calm space. (I've always had a good imagination, right, Mom?)

I don't go upstairs at home very often: W has been cleaning his office for the past month. Most of the contents are spread elsewhere while he reorganizes. (I recognize the impulse: it took me a few days to finish mine last month and I am happy with the results.) It will be nice when his organizing project is completed.

The massive poster in the GG hall is expired but I love the colors. Would it look good as a backdrop in the upstairs meeting room? Mmmmm. We bring it home to check.

It's big. It's bright. It would zip up the room with a jolt of colors. But I hardly get up upstairs. It's too pretty to hide away and there's other art on the walls.

I make a few calls. The BIC teens decide they'd like to put it in their area ... so it won't go to waste.

Wednesday

One of the neighbors painted their gate a neutral green. Our car gate is a big bold, green. The paint is flaking and rusting. The metal sheds its paint in the tropical heat and rainstorms. It's almost time to repaint. I like this green better - if I can find the color. (Last time I chose a mid-blue paint chip, I ended up with midnight grey-blue on the wall. Paint chips and numbers aren't reliable here.)

There are flowers along the road. There's alway something blooming. These pretty bulbs are similar to lilies but hold the pistel and stamen way up above the button centers of the 7" flowers.

I stroll past the little free library in our neighborhood on the dog walk. Ibu Wuri had the bookcase made and I brought the sign from Seattle. We're #2138 and first LFL in Indonesia. (now the library movement is over 100,000.) We got one of the early signups but didn't put it out until 10 years later.

The dogs love playing "Search" in the yard. They have to use their noses to find treats hidden in the grass and flowerbeds. "Find" is a different command = want something, Doggy? Find the ball from wherever we tossed it last time. Drop it into my hand, and here you go - treat time. Cocoa doesn't care. Gypsy loves the game and sometimes brings me something without my asking.

Wednesday
I'm bored with blue. Maybe we have something cheerier? In the linen cupboard, I find a lime table cover to brighten up the room.

We intersperse some green cushions among the blue. A tiny swap changes the mood.

Coming up next is a beige sofa slipcover that I sewed a few years ago. I'll wait a bit to do that so it feels like the seasons are changing in this never-ending summer that I like so much!

I wish I could invite you in for a cup of tea and to sit for a while to catch up. Is your house ready for summer?

Read more:

Do you not know?

    Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

    the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

    and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

    and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

    and young men stumble and fall;

 but those who hope in the Lord

    will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

    they will run and not grow weary,

    they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV