Anticipation and discomforts

Saturday, August 6, 2023

We drop off coffee grounds for the neighbor's garden.

Shortly into the morning walk, W smashes his nose, running with our 3 dogs. We head home to disinfect and wipe off the blood.

The biggest dog is the least aware of her surroundings: Juno. She zooms across his trajectory to chase a cat. He trips over her and lands on his face. I come around the corner to see him flat on the ground with 2 women bent over him, trying to lift him to his feet. Heart-stopping.

The dog lies on the porch most of the day, aware that we're not happy with her.

The neighbor's vanda orchid sends out sweet fragrance as we head home.

We send 2 trays of cookies to the event we were supposed to attend; W's in hospital getting x-rays, bandages, and salve. When I offer to go along, he waves me off.

The living room is dark and comforting. I'm stressed about going to a conference with 18 sessions planned. It's in Indonesian. I usually try to avoid crowds of strangers. Listening to people discuss, vote, and decide things I don't understand of sounds mind-bending-ly uncomfortable.

I checked in with an advisor earlier in the week for insights into what bothers me about attending. "Everything I know about you is that you're wired for connections. Spending a week without being useful to others, without offering meaningful links between people or resources, is a violation of your calling." Ah. It's also an act of obedience to leaders who determine how our self-employment can be lived out.

I find an envelope from a dear friend in a newly sorted box. Keelee's written these instructions. "When you need a pick-me-up, comfort, or want to treat yourself, open me."

I open it. Inside is K's perfectly tatted doily. The interconnections of threads remind me of our significance as part of a whole rather than in isolation. Message received and I'll be back home when it's over.

A whole bottle of "Calm" chocolates that numb the internal overload go into the suitcase. I pack extra noise-canceling IPods and construction-rated earplugs to mute the extreme volume of Indonesian events. I take notebooks in which to write and draw.

I could pretend that all is well. Yet, honestly, when you cross cultures, discomforts are part of everyday life as well as work. Everyone finds coping mechanisms. That the reality of living and serving abroad.

Sunday

We're off to the Gathering, the Indonesian flag flying at our gate. By early August, the national colors of red and white flutter on most gates and along most neighborhood streets.

Breakfast is delicious: spaghetti and creamed spinach, left over from movie night.

When we get home, the Porch is full of young people, enjoying their Hangout.

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*The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the Lord is pure,  enduring forever. The decrees of the Lord are firm, and all of them are righteous. They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb. Psalm 19:7-10