Reflections

W proposed to me over 33 years ago with this romantic line, "Would you go to Red China with me?" I was a bit startled, but with the deadpan that has gotten me through many surprising situations, said, "Sure" and I slipped on his engagement ring.

This week, W reflected that he's right where he wants to be. We watched 113 Chinese being baptized at their local church: "This trip has confirmed that I am most effective teaching, and that ministry should be done by local people. The day for "Bwana Missionary" (top-down missions) may be mostly over."

I'm not so sure. Who would tell those who have never heard, in places where the gospel has never been preached, if a stranger did not enter a new community? In contrast to his feelings, this trip to China brought a sharp pang to my heart. When I said "yes" to marriage, I agreed to go into full-time missions. I was committing to partner with a man with the same call to evangelism, learning, and teaching overseas.

Instead, we ended up just across the border in the USA. While my husband developed his call and gifting as a professor, I cooked, cleaned, raised our family (homeschooled, even), taught music, and waited for him to finish his education so I could carry on with mine. (I finally gave up waiting and went back to school for my Masters degree, which seemed to spur him on to finish his doctorate as well.)

Regrets? Probably not. Life is uncertain and never what we plan or imagine. We have a good life together, wonderful children, family, and friends. Who knows if I would have seen these parts of the world alone? My husband's ministry has opened doors for both of us.

"Do you remember this restaurant? This bridge? We took this bus, remember?" W asks me as we walk through Singapore.

Nope. I live moment by moment, tagging along on travels. I forget much of where we've gone almost as soon as we leave. I'm most likely to remember the people who interact with me or are in my classes... and blogging helps. (Though I remember many more details from trips I've planned.)

On this journey of faith, we grasp hold of God's kindness in letting us make decisions. Based on choices we and others make, life unfolds. A believer submits with joy because God is building his church, regardless of where the road of life takes her or him.

Still, I was a little envious last week as I watched my Chinese Christian family in Beijing celebrate baptism, thinking of what might have been.

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*The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. Psalm 19:1-4 NIV

*May the peoples praise you, O God; may all the peoples praise you. Then the land will yield its harvest, and God, our God, will bless us. God will bless us, and all the ends of the earth will fear him. Psalm 67:5-7 NIV

*Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Romans 12:9-13 NIV

The fabric of the Church

The tapestry gleams, lights and darks, wide and narrow bands woven together. It is the Church of Christ in all its glory and despair, its shining beauty and deep wounds. Unlike anything else in the universe, the time is coming when it is cleansed and robes the Bridegroom.

This morning I was asking God to make me a strong thread in the fabric of the Church. We may think the wide and magnificent crimsons and purples running through the tapestry are the famous speakers and teachers of Christianity. But I wonder...

Does God stand back to admire:

• the great honor and stability of the unnamed prayer warriors who hold true to scripture?
• the great strength in the unrecognized youths who are passionate about changing the world for Christ?
• the great potential in the students who study hard to show themselves approved in word and deed?
• the great beauty of my African and Asian brothers and sisters, keeping the faith by offering their lives as militant Islamists, Hindus, and other world religions advance?
• the balance between the flash and bedazzlement of the Christian media darlings and the trust and obedience of his faithful, unnoticed servants? 

How our Lord must value those who faithfully serve the Church without struggling or fighting his plans. It pleases him when we remain quiet and pliable under his hand as it moves the shuttle of his will.

How privileged we are to be the weft and warp of the world-wide cloth of the Faith, emerging under the Weaver's hand. There is no need for us who trust Christ to try to stick up above the fabric he is designing as "important" or "deserving." Each one in our place - ah, what a Church of radiant glory and wonder to the world and the watching heavens!

A lovely woman of God, staying in our same flat, looked out the LR window with me, across the mile of apartments and out to the ocean. As ships bob in the Singapore harbor on one side, a tropical forest borders the others side of our flat. The view is spectacular. We've had wonderful times of ministry and blessings (not to mention excellent food and hospitality) these past three weeks in SE Asia.

"We are unworthy of these blessings," we sisters-in-faith agreed. "Who are we to enjoy such abundance when so many have so little (food, shelter, opportunity, gospel...)?" Yet we are grateful for these privileges and our place in the creation of God.

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*I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you established your faithfulness in heaven itself. Psalm 89:1-2 NIV

*Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers righteousness on you. Hosea 10:12 NIV

*Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world- -the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions--is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. 1 John 2:15-17 NEV 

Don't move!

The hardest part of progress in work or life is staying in place. When we’ve agreed to move forward, it is most difficult to wait for the next step. Sometimes we are part of a group that has been called to move, but here we have been parked. Sometimes we sense an open door ahead, but it is not yet in view. There seems nothing we can do to hasten an advance.

So we sit.

We fidget.

We wait.

We pray.

Eventually we stop contending and become resigned.

We rest.

And then it seems that the suffering of waiting is over. The project finds a catalyst that propels it forward. The group takes a direction that we did not anticipate. Maybe the door of opportunity creaks open, or a companion flings it wide for our entry. 

But the new vista may look nothing like what we had expected. It is more, or less than hoped for.

Seeing the road ahead, the preparation of waiting and suffering makes sense. We have been prepared for a new assignment or character quality by abandoning our own ideas and plans. Like Moses after 40 years of herding sheep in the desert, we are willing to go where previously we would have refused.

What are we suffering to prepare us for a wonderful future of unexpected opportunity?

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*May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is a new creation. Peace and mercy to all who follow this rule, even to the Israel of God. Finally, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit, brothers. Amen. Galatians 6:14-18 NIV

Person space

Every person lives in their person space, large or small. To think the whole house, its silence, and 24 hours a day belonged to me just yesterday! After two weeks at home without my husband, I was wondering how his return would affect my own space. He's busy. Busy. BUSY. Did I say busy?

Here's what happened, besides enjoying the company of my dear husband:

• The entry filled up, emptied again. Luggage, tools, miscellaeous stuff. It came. It went, along with the stack of his mail.
• We snacked an extra 7-800 calories each last night: almonds and licorice and chips. While sitting in bed reading. (And I've been SOOOOooo good for 2 weeks!)
• We took the dog for a short walk this morning, so I skipped my exercise class. I overextended a few joints last weekend, and that's a good excuse. But my top reason is that there's too much prep for the weekend. I knew I was in for multiple interruptions rather than an open, unscheduled day.
• We drove to Snoqualmie for lunch and to pick up a patio heater. We also dropped by the college so W could gather his mail and check in. Three hours later, both of us tackled our work at home.
• I cooked two sit-down meals for us, breakfast and supper, rather than snatching a quick meal between work and play.
• It's night, time to bring in the feather quilts from the deck railing, and settle down to read before bed. I'm just bringing along a few pieces of chocolate. Honest!

My own space? Still plenty of it. I devoted it to getting rid of eight finches (gone in a day = the power of Craigslist free), called the house-sitter (thanks, T!), confirmed the doggie drop-off at the dog-sitter, finished my coursework for next week, wrapped up the class PPTs, and organized the student material to be copied.

I almost broke down to bake "vegan chocolate chocolate almond chocolate chip" cookies (me messing with a basic recipe = killer!) But I'd have to eat them in the next few days. Maybe not.

There's no room in my person for more treats after a full day like today.

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*Shout with joy to God, all the earth! Sing the glory of his name; make his praise glorious! Say to God, "How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you. All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, they sing praise to your name." Psalm 66:1-4 NIV

*Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments,  for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil. Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 NIV

Pure perfection!

"Oh, Christianity is just rules. Don't do this, don't do that! I want to be free to do my own thing!" I've heard that a time or two. Most people who say this know nothing about the freedom Christians enjoy, resting in Christ to live life to the full.

The 10 Commandments aren't designed just to "make us mind." They point out God's high expectations for alignment with God's character. Yet who of us has never disrespected God, lied, stolen, looked lustfully at another person, or coveted someone's "stuff?" When we "break" a commandment, we trespass against the holiness and purity of God. We become warped, increasingly imperfect specimens of humanity.

Reading through Psalm 119: 89-97 this morning reminds me that there is one who is perfect. How blessed we are to have that perfection attributed to us when we shelter under the cross of Christ.

Who is this wonderful God, who not only provides the Standard, but extends such favor to us? Who is the One who offers us wholeness?

• Your word, O LORD, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. HE IS UNCHANGING
• Your faithfulness continues through all generations; you established the earth, and it endures. HE IS FAITHFUL
• Your laws endure to this day, for all things serve you. ...ENDURING
• If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. ...SUSTAINING
• I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life. ...PRESERVING
• Save me, for I am yours; I have sought out your precepts. ...RESCUING
• The wicked are waiting to destroy me, but I will ponder your statutes. ...GOOD
• To all perfection I see a limit; but your commands are boundless. ...LIMITLESS
• Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long. ...BEAUTIFUL
• Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. ...A LIGHT TO FOLLOW

Now that's perfection worth celebrating and a God worth emulating!

Holy yoga. ?

Last year, I heard about something called Holy Yoga, exercise sessions started in Arizona. I was pretty interested. My back has been bothering me from hunching over books and computer. Yoga-style stretches would give my back and neck a workout. I backed away, wondering how a mix of Christian meditation and Hindu-originated postures could work together.

Then last week, I bought a $20 Seattle Groupon for 20 sessions of "Hot Yoga," whatever that was. The coupon arrived Tuesday last week, so I started the ordeal. I figured even if I went once and my back could relax, I would almost break even: regular exercise sessions are $17-23.

I'm utterly disinterested in yoga as a component of Hindu religion. Hinduism conflicts with the very foundations of Christianity. I definitely wouldn't recommend yoga exercises for young believers or do them in Asia, where the religious context is irrevocably interlinked. However, at this American gym, hot yoga is an exercise class without religious words or Hindu overtones.

Every day this week and last (with Sunday off), I've unrolled a mat in a gym room with 20-30 sweating others. We do 26 exercises in the same order, day after day, in a room heated to 105-110 degrees. Sometimes the instructor forgets to turn on the fans. (Hot hot hot, is right.)

Every second day, my body cooperates, more or less. My body remembers being flexible and balanced, once upon a time. I can stretch face to knee or lay the back of my head on the mat, elbows overhead, while knees and feet are under my back. But I never can lock one leg and twist myself into a pretzel. I've yet to lean forward on one leg and kick back with the other leg held in the air. Wobble, wobble, try again. Wobble.

But I definitely, unabashedly hate every other day. I can't bend, can't reach, and topple over at the slightest suggestion of standing on one locked knee. The temperature feels like 150o, I'm nauseated, and passing out seems distinctly possible. I lay down flat on my mat with other overheated students. We try to breathe and stay in the room, instead of bolting. The discipline of going to the gym helps keep me working. "Tomorrow will be easier," I tell myself after a really bad day.

I was concerned about the mish-mash of Eastern religious ideals with exercises. Instead, I found that the pauses between poses spotlighted the contrast between Eastern religions and Christianity. "Focus on one spot, think of your breathing, empty your mind to relax," says the instructor. "This focus will help you get through the day - it will help you empty your mind of stress."

But as I'm stretching, my whole being reverberates with the Bible verses and chapters I have read this morning or before sleep last night. My heart swells with amazement as I ponder, "Our Father who art in heaven," or "Christ in you, the hope of glory." The psalms I have memorized sing loudly with my hammering pulse, or I pray the Jesus Prayer: (inhale) "Lord      Jesus      Christ, (exhale) have mercy      on me,      a sinner,"

By the time we're done, my mind is overflowing with the splendor and awe of worship, I've prayed for those working out beside me, and my heart has loudly exulted in the Lord our God. Instead of striving for calm emptiness like those around me, I walk out empowered to face the day's stressors, having delighted in the beauty of God's plan of salvation and the fullness of the Presence.

I am struck each morning by the contrast in philosophy and faith: emptiness or fullness. We get to choose through our core commitment for or against Christ, focusing our minds while our bodies streeettttchhh this way and that. By committing my life to Jesus, I have chosen the fullness of Christ, the hope of the gospel, rather than the empty self-realization of the world.

I'm debating whether to continue. So far, I'm 95% against doing this regularly, just because I don't want to be lured into any other religious practice. This season of reflection and meditation on God's goodness has truly been a gift from the Lord, restoring a flexibility I'd forgotten and healing my aching back. Best of all, I've had time to think about how I love my Savior and how much I appreciate his holiness and his protection. Oh, how I've enjoyed these set-apart hours of devotion, daily time to focus on the beauty of our faith.

But to find him so near in a gym doing yoga stretches? That's a surprise, for sure. "Oh Rosemarie, what next!" my mother would say.

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*Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come. Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things. Who, O God, is like you? Psalm 71:17-19 NIV

*For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.  For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. John 3:16-17 NKJV


*In the past God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom he made the universe. The Son is the radiance of God's glory and
the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. Hebrews 1:1-3 NIV 

Reneging on a handshake

I'm kinda ticked. Sonia and I (and her mother) shook hands over sending Spike to their place for 2-3 weeks this summer. I gave Sonia some good-will money up front to hold a good deal for her and me - she's young, and this is great summer pay for a kid who will walk and play with my dog.

Yesterday I got an email saying, "Hope all is well. How about more money? My mom thought I should ask for more." What? She asked a small amount - $5 a day to keep our dog for a final week. But we had an agreement for a set amount for 2-3 weeks. I probably would have given her the same amount in a tip for a job well-done.

I asked my son what he thought. "To keep good will, I'd just pay the money. She might be a good resource in the future."

Maybe she will be a good resource. But it bothers me that an arrangement was so easily forgotten. That a child is being taught that more is better... and it is okay to go back on a contract. I will pay, but I'm not sure I trust her or her mom as much as I did at our first meeting.

There have been many times when I have gone back on my word as well. Not lived up to my obligations. Disappointed people, and lived to regret my dishonesty, greed, or lack of manners.

I'm glad God is utterly trustworthy. He never reneges on his promises. His faithfulness endures forever, and his Word is his bond. He even promised to forgive us as we would forgive those who trespassed against us. Whew. Let me get out my wallet right now!

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*O LORD, You are my God. I will exalt You, I will praise Your name, for You have done wonderful things; Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth. Isaiah 25:1 NKJV

*Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him,  we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself. 2 Timothy 2:11-13 NIV

Pleasant places

Pleasant places. We want life to be full of them. But Psalm 23 talks both about green pastures and the valley of the shadow of death. Most of us would choose the first over the last.

It's easy to forget that the sun shines when we're in the middle of a rainy day. And when it's going great, we forget those overwhelmed by rain and floods. We just had a fine day in Seattle, but across the continent, people are experiencing tornadoes (Billings, MT), floods (Medicine Hat, AL), and oil sludge (SE USA).

I wonder how much of our indifference to those who suffer is because we expect life to be good. We are surprised when people die, when our children or parents get ill, or when we lose our homes and bank accounts. Yet few escape the consequences of humanity's selfish ambition, greed, and carelessness that unleash catastrophes of sickness, broken relationships, and poverty.

Sometimes I wonder how much of our casual dismissal of tragedy elsewhere in the world is a subconscious warding-off of the possibility that it could happen to us. War, famine, refugee hunger. With a phone call or stroke of a pen, a country can be committed to conflict and a nation's destiny turns from prosperity to conflict and desperation. A heated wind touches cool water, and a hurricane is born. The earth shifts, and homes and shops quake into scrap heaps.

We don't know when we will face trouble, but we know it is coming. Those of us who have made God our refuge live in the security that he will keep us safe in his care. If we die, he takes us to himself. He knows when our lives are done.

The most pleasant place of all? Resting in our Savior's love and protection, no matter what the circumstances.

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*LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the LORD always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Psalm 16:5-8 NIV

*Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign LORD comes escape from death. Psalm 68:19-20 NIV

*Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7 NIV

 

Not quite perfect

 Church has changed - dress is casual compared to 20 years ago. That parallels an openness about not pretending things are ok, every day. I walked to church this morning, wearing flip-flops. Once again, I enjoyed meeting people who are interested in a life of faith. Most were dressed in jeans or other casual wear.

When I was little, you'd better believe that we dressed up for church. We'd never dare let anyone know our life wasn't hunky-dory. No one needed to know that we weren't free of sinful habits, that we'd fought with our spouse on the way to church, that our kids were rebelling. Ongoing challenges might imply that Jesus was "not big enough" to solve our problems or that we weren't serious about being Christians.

Of course, in a fallen world there have to be crises and brokenness. A place that is perfect would be heaven.

Whether trouble comes from within ourselves, from relationships with others, or from circumstances beyond our control, we need not be surprised. We all know we're not without flaws (unless we're in denial). Our shortcomings and the faults of others will inevitably produce conflicts.

As I looked through the rows of folding chairs in the school gym, I sighed with relief to know that God IS big and wise enough. He will see each of us through the delights and tragedies of life. He's there for every bit - including the mediocre - between, too. No pretending needed!

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*I will love You, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised; so shall I be saved from my enemies. Psalm 18:1-3 NKJV

*The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh, my enemies and foes, they stumbled and fell. Though an army may encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war may rise against me, in this I will be confident.
        
 One thing I have desired of the LORD, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in His temple. For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; In the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock. Psalm 27:1-5 NKJV

The mind of a princess

In 1980, Sweden became the first European monarchy where boy or girl could inherit the kingdom from their father. Little brother Carl Philip was just 7 months old when his older sister Victoria became Crown Princess.

This girl has a mind of her own. Eight years ago Victoria fell in love with her physical trainer, commoner David Westling. She persevered with her choice, and this weekend they walked down the aisle of the Church of Sweden to be married. The country was in a furor: she asked her father to walk her down the aisle, reverting - according to critics - to an archaic Anglo-Saxon custom.

People were enraged that she was not following the Swedish tradition of bride and groom walking in equality together down the aisle. "Critics referred to the Anglo-Saxon practise as "sexist" and a "backlash for feminism", and the row, dubbed Altargate, started." The royal family argued that this was not just a man handing off an adult woman, but the King giving his approval to the heir (or in this case, heiress.)

(from the news:) "Nine bishops wrote a letter to the bridal couple, asking them to change their mind. Helle Klein, influential editorial writer for the tabloid Aftonbladet, urged the Archbishop to intervene. 'Bride handover builds on an attitude towards women which takes us several centuries back. As a role model the Crown Princess should consider this,' she wrote.

To no avail. What a princess wants, a princess gets. She gave in a bit, though. Instead of walking her all the way to the front, her dad handed her over halfway down the aisle. And the couple was wed. With her strong will and willingness to negotiate her special day, she may be a very good ruler in her time.

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*Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. Proverbs 19:21 NEV

*I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone—for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. 

For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all men—the testimony given in its proper time. 1 Timothy 2:1-6 NIV

*You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Galatians 5:13-14 NIV