As Valentine’s approaches, love in its various forms pops up on billboards, posters, web advertisements, and love songs on the radio. When the contemporary Christian music station plays “Worthy of our love, we will see you soon,” it stops me in my tracks. “I will rise when he calls my name, no more sorrow, no more pain… on eagle’s wings before my God, [I] fall on my knees.” (Chris Tomlin) I feel homesick.
Even as a little girl, I wanted to see God. To love him without human limitations and blinders. To adore without restraint. To approach without the fear of a creature before the Creator. What would it be like to be totally open, to welcome being known completely, and offer pure worship?
I woke this morning praying for our daughter, whose “good” knee has given way to arthritis. That means another round of surgery, recovery, and rehabilitation. Trauma for her and anguish for parents and bystanders. When the God I love is easily able to speak a word to heal her completely, I can only shake my head at his reluctance. There’s so much I don’t know or understand, even when surrounded by the prayers of many. But I open my heart to be warmed by his love through my husband’s kiss, my children’s smiles, and the cheerful hello of friends. That much I can grasp.
“You’ve already shown me love that will last, that never fails, that is kind,” (song by Tammy Trent) “[I] celebrate the mystery and the love you’ve already shown me, demonstrated when you hung there on the cross…” His love gives so much. And it has to be enough for the day.
Check out the Valentine’s book tour – ideas to love more and better: I've got a copy of each to give away.
Amazon Links:
I Do Again: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1400074452
Love As A Way Of Life Devo: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0307444694
For Couples Only: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1601422482
Read more:
*As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. John 15: 9-11 NIV
*The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. Acts 17:24-25 NLT
From a friend who reads the blog, useful because I think others may have the same response
ReplyDelete********************
I so hurt along with you about Kirsten........ and we pray for all of you
we can always love and accept each other, even if differ, correct? I choose a natural path of healing for my kids/family...... you choose a medical one. We are not right nor wrong, just different.
I loved the part of your letter, talking about the reality of not knowing it all, as that is MY truth too, yet felt grieved when you wrote that you shake your head....and call God reluctant to heal.
I know you don't mean it this way, but it could almost seem like you are saying that if you were God you could do a better job of it? or that you were mildly critical of Him? I know GOD is big enough to handle you where you are at, (and me where I am at) and all I am asked to do is LOVE you, but sometimes love points out a different perspective to be considered........sometimes love asks tough questions - like when you challenged me about NOT confronting my DAd, and yet being graceful as it took 6 months for me to have finalized it.
We all have questions that won't be answered until Heaven, but I am praying in faith for Kirsten. I admit that I don't know how it feels to have a child suffer year after year. I don't know your pain. .I am NOT pointing a finger at you or Kirsten, but I want to encourage you that the WORD never says God is reluctant to heal.
Jesus's work was enough, complete, and that I believe. SOZO - greek NT = salvation and healing equally. No reluctance to save or heal. 1 peter 2:24 you were healed by Jesus' work on the cross psalm 103:3 forgives all heals all
I believe YOU have a right to ask for it, fight for it violently in the spirit realm, expect it, and believe you have received it, and to rest in His unfailing love until you can SEE the desired end. (as I have many many many times. Sometimes it has taken a couple of years for me to heal from my soul to allow my body to heal, and other times I have received miracles from God). I still have questions, as I still have birth defects I'd like a creative miracle in. I haven't arrived, nor am anywhere close to it.
IF I totally misunderstood your words, forgive me, and anyone else who did too!
respectfully, love S
My reply:
ReplyDeleteThank you, dear friend. I have no doubt that God is not only able but willing to heal. However, despite fasting and prayer over years (12 now), he has chosen not to heal Kirsten. The shaking of my head is more increduous than doubting. I am so surprised every time she loses another joint - it would be so easy for God to touch her, and he chooses not to. Like Mom prayed the other day, "All right already... how about healing her?" :-) No disrespect intended. We have had her anointed with oil many times by people who have the gift of healing, have seen miracles ourselves, and know there is no lack of ability on God's part. And no lack of faith on ours.
It's his privilege to do as he pleases. Just because I don't agree with how he does things, doesn't mean I don't trust him to know more than I do, be wiser and kinder than I am, etc. It's like disagreeing with a good parent who knows more than the child. I have absolute confidence that God will accomplish his purpose in Kirsten and in me - and the rest of those who know him and pray for her. Didn't mean to make it feel like I thought I would do better as God. Surely not!
We went the natural route for the first two years - she was skeletal at 78 lbs., in excruciating pain, and couldn't get out of bed anymore when we finally took her to Children's Hospital. She lost her first hip throughout tens of thousands of dollars of "natural medicine." We followed every alternative, every miracle cure as advised by friends who were docs and nurses... Our naturopathic physician (who was also a regular MD, highly respected for his alternative treatments) kept telling her she was getting better.
But the rheumatologist (a devout Christian homeschooler, about as close to our family values as possible) shook his head when we brought her into Emergency and said very kindly but bluntly, "What made you wait so long? This might not have been necessary if you had treated her sooner." We don't know that - we believed God would heal her and that the natural meds would work, especially because of the advice of well-meaning Christian friends.
I always feel your love for me and your love for God when you write - makes me think and think through. Appreciate that, my friend. But we are traveling the journey God has marked out for us, panting to follow, straining to hear his voice even as we are frustrated by his, "No. Not now."