Random thoughts* on art, books, friends

Tuesday, March 19, 2024 (Lent Day 30)

Random stuff floating through my head: there's less resistance when I'm sick.

*Art describes the interior world of artists. Going down the steps in the afternoon, I pause beside a group of 5 paintings. Their colors agree, an unplanned collaboration when they were hung in the stairwell.

*I listen to podcasts when I'm lying awake at night. For information, I prefer to skim text rather than waiting for someone to speak, even at X1.5 speed. But once in a while, I catch up on presenters. Some regulars are: Emotionally Healthy Leaders by Scazzero; Beyond the To-Do List by Erik Fisher; The Daily Creative by Todd Henry; interviews by Carey Nieuwhof; and the like. What are your favorites?

*Today I listen to a 2-part Ian Morgan Cron talk with an Enneagram 8. (Whatever you believe about personality tests, some are better than others and none are perfect. They're most useful when considered loosely descriptive than prescriptive.) I recognize the Enn8 "step-up-and-lead" instincts the guys are talking about. It's good to hear that others live with their drive and fighting spirit intact. The "8" being interviewed is a man, which makes his power and boss-iness more acceptable in a room.

I've lived for over 46 years with someone who values peace and politeness over progress. The culture around us values harmony above all else. So it's easier on others if I tone down. Over time, I've learned to tamp down the "8 energy" to half or less when I walk through a door or sit at a table. That keeps me out of trouble, most of the time. (Unless I forget.)

Sometimes I miss showing up with a roar and a million ideas to churn through the conversation. So funny: I look for a lion picture to illustrate this feeling. I do a casual search for an "animal to fit Enneagram 8." Yup. It's a lion. But it's easier on others when I show up as a bobcat or house tabby.

Our full healthy personalities and character will be unleashed by God in eternity: peacemakers will be at their best. Researchers and teachers will help us understand without twisting truth. Empathetics will absorb and reflect feelings without living in pain. And people like me (who became quieter to fit in) will shout their worship. I'm quite looking forward to it.

*We're asked for a photo by a sponsoring organization so we line up against the green wall. My head is throbbing and W runs from the tripod to stand near me for the shot. One of us is weary. The other is watchful. We send it off anyway.

*Someone mentions how much they love books. Everyone expects to see books (whether they're read or staged) in Western decorating photos. But when we moved to Indonesia, we were shocked to visit homes that had no books besides a religious text (the Koran, usually).

Over the years, books have come to us. Though we purchase very few, our bookshelves have filled up with others' discards. Vintage Hardy Boy, Nancy Drew, and Tom Swift books sit on a shelf in a guest room. Other spaces contain different sets of books. Our library is constantly expanding.

This year, I decided to fast novels during Lent. Some days it feels like that's killing me and there's SO MUCH time to think. "No stories" is much harder than skipping a meal. Reaching for a book or flipping open my Kindle, I remember, "Not yet. Not for 2 more weeks." Instead, I consume books on faith, leadership, and spiritual formation and the odd podcast. I'm learning a lot.

*When W and JD go out for supper, I slip into PJs and make my own meal. I have no appetite. The main course is papaya soaked in lemon juice, doused with chia pudding (chia seeds left overnight in some kind of plant milk), and a homemade trail mix out of which I've picked the chocolate-covered coffee beans. 

Who knows how old the candy canes are? (2 years? 3 years?) Found them in the back of the fridge and broke them in pieces to add a little zip to the raw nuts and dried apricots. Not bad.

Wednesday (Lent Day 31)

12 years ago today, I defended my PhD dissertation. What a relief that it's done. I've watched many others finish their work. Once in a while, when someone wants to quit, I pass along the wise advice my mentors gave me: "Keep going. When it's done, it's done."

It's a rough night and I'm mostly awake. I read through Deuteronomy, listen to several podcasts, and lie still between, hoping to drift off. 

Can't remember where I read this idea: "You shouldn't go to bed thinking, 'How do I make myself sleep?' just as you shouldn't go into a kitchen thinking, 'How do I make myself eat?'" Makes sense, but lying in bed, it doesn't make sleep come faster.

Thursday (Lent Day 32)

At some point, I'll feel better. This week, "whateverthisis" crept from Sunday's tickle in my throat into my bronchial tubes and is sitting in one lung. I can feel it taking over, a little each day. It's at the sneezing, dripping, and coughing stage. For someone who "never" gets sick, this is surprising: my third cold in the past few months. I miss walking and hiking, being active, and thinking clearly.

Lew's here to write his doctoral comprehensive exam. I print the questions out. He tackles the first one after lunch. (How glad I am to have mine over with!)

*Since I'm confined to the house, I write the next series of New Normal posts. Each one features something normal here that's unusual to our Western culture. If you want to get it each Monday, request it by clicking here. (Homeschool kids and the culturally curious like it.)

By the 23rd post for the end of August, my hand is sore. So I count the clicks as I write: 35 per post. Wow. MailChimp is cumbersome but effective. At least I don't have to think about it again until September. 

I try to eat but have no appetite. The dogs finish what I cannot.

My final and favorite meeting of the day is with Alaine, my spiritual director. She reminds me that the Lion of Judah is strong and loud. When she asks me to think of a place of peaceful encounter with God, I can't think of anywhere specific. "Sad," I say to her.

"Think of being in a pride of lions," she says. And that totally un-stresses me. I think of the growls and roars, the swipe of a paw, and the lying around between hunts. Lions are most dangerous when they're hungry or distracted by motion. Hmmmm. How do I ensure that I am well-fed and rested before my encounters with others?

My spiritual mentors are mostly lions: strong, competent, and called men and women. One of the wonders of being in a female leaders' group is that every accomplishment is cheered. No one hears, "Be smaller." "Be quieter." or, "Be less lioness and more rabbit." (What a relief.)

Friday (Lent Day 33)

It's a choppy but long night so I'm rested when I wake to post the Lenten blog. I'm listening to a family quartet of guitars. Their live 4-yr anniversary concert plays in the background. Can you imagine getting 2 young kids to post practice time every day with their parents? Check them out here.

The Bandung Book Group comes over today. These women teach me something about life in Bandung each month. Our book is Lady Tan's Circle of Women by Lisa See. We dub it our "best book of the year." There's a lively discussion about what it meant to live in other times and the restrictions that still exist for women. We agree that we're privileged to live in our time and place.

Several ladies bring food to share - delicious and beautiful. The Muslim ladies take portions to enjoy later when their Ramadan fast ends at sundown.

Lew finishes writing his three comprehensive questions toward his doctoral degree. We celebrate with supper after the women's tea. There's plenty left over to send with IbuS at the end of the day, too.

As we sit on the Porch, I catch a glimpse of this ruby point on a bromeliad leaf, just before the water drops off it.

Night falls and the flowers glow golden in the garden. The plants grow up to 8' (2.6m) tall. Their spectacular self-seeding abundance happens a few times a year. Several women take seeds home: I got mine from a friend as well.

Read more:

*The eternal God is your refuge. Deuteronomy 33:27

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. John 14:1-2

Moravian Prayer: Risen and eternal Lord, what are we waiting for? Our hope is in you. Death looms ever before us, at times filling us with dread. Strengthen our faith, that when our time comes, we might anticipate with joy our entrance into your presence in a dwelling place prepared for us. Amen.