Chocolate and prayers

Thursday, February 13, 2025

We're back in town for a few days before going home. W and I head out to acquire basics we can't get in Indonesia. It feels so cold outside. We bundle up with undershirts, long sleeves, fleeces, coats, gloves, and hats.

One of my tasks is to make a 3-5 minute video for a partner group. That's a long presentation. It takes me a few hours to assemble a PPT with pictures before W edits it into conformity. We record a voice-over; on our fifth take, we are satisfied and send it off as requested.

For supper, Melissa makes a beef roast with all the fixings. Delicious. And the company is wonderful. We admire an antique doll given by Grandmama to the youngest grandchild.

W examines the face - it's old. There were a few Korean clown dolls in the basket the doll came in. We check those out online, too.

30-year-old tall mugs are waiting in the downstairs cabinet, leftovers from our previous life here. Tea tastes different, made with Seattle's chlorinated water. We've learned that boiling the water removes much of the bleach-y overtones while strong black tea makes the drink palatable.

Friday - Valentines Day

We're happy to be with each other. We eat breakfast with the family - eggs, bacon, and pecan pastries with orange juice and tea - and open the valentines the kids have made. M and the kids head out to Valentines Day parties, while W meets a friend for coffee.

After dropping W off with his friend, I shop next door to two discounters: a grocer and a dollar store. Some things that we can't get in Indonesia are easily available and cheap in American grocery stores.

In the parking lot, Asha hails me. What! I just texted her in the car, asking if she's working or available to meet. She hasn't even seen the texts - it's a nice surprise! We walk up some aisles together, hug a few times, and then she's off to her own Valentine appointments.

I enjoy an hour alone in the shops, looking at trends, admiring fast foods and prepared meals (SO MUCH! variety) while gasping at the prices. I put a two sets of reading glasses ($1.50 each) and a few other items in my cart. Back at the flat, I toss them into a suitcase. We'll pack them properly later.

For lunch, I boil frozen pirogies, accompanying them with a scoop of cottage cheese and tomato sauce. Yum. 

W returns later in the afternoon. "What's for supper?" he asks. I'm sated but give him a few options. He chooses a can of soup, which I heat up and pour into a bowl. How simple to eat at home if food just needs warming.

Our son has a stretch massager. You unroll it and plug it in, and your back and neck get pulled every which way. I try it out. Later, I stick my socked feet in their foot massager. Feels like a spa day.

That is, until I start deleting emails in one of my accounts. Yikes - how do you accumulate 2700 emails that you liked and want to read again. "Away with you," she says.

All day long, the kettle is heating water for tea. I like my little tea corner.

Saturday

We join friends for coffee in the morning. The guys' group has met each Saturday for decades. They offer W encouragement and support. Phyllis and I sit across the room to we catch up on kids and prayers and friends.

W drops me at a small mall while he recycles boxes. He picks me up to run some errands. One of those is returning items added to our bill "accidentally" by the cashier yesterday. We exchange a Bisquick package full of ants for an ant-free package. The thrift store has a half-off sale, so we spend $11 on a stainless steel fondue set and a tall bronze candlestick. Decorative and useful, both of them.

We also indulge in favored snacks. Western-style potato chips are so expensive at our Indonesian grocer that we never buy them. Today I pick up a $2 bag with hickory-smoke barbecue flavor. W and I nibble on them for a few days.

A special parcel from Keelee arrives in the mail. Inside are home-baked coffee/chocolate cookies I love, accompanied by a wooden finger labyrinth. The labyrinth is a physical accompaniment to prayer that stills the mind and rests the soul. Can't wait to use it. Keelee sends instructions as well as a loving note. My heart is warmed.

The 4 grandkids are with us in the afternoon (yay for Dicks Burgers and Half Price Books) and then occupy themselves with their acquisitions, from books to building blocks. The kids play a violin concert before we enjoy the pizza Kinsey bakes and sample hot apple cider and chamomile tea.

Wes drops by in the evening with a gift of chocolate, which our helpers will chop to bake cookies for movie night and other events. Hurrah! We pray over our families and our concerns together.

I try to sleep for an hour before giving up to read and write.

Read more:

*God said, “Ask for the ancient paths, where the good way lies; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls.” Jeremiah 6:16

We want each one of you to show the same diligence so as to realize the full assurance of hope to the very end, so that you may not become sluggish but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises. Hebrews 6:11-12

Moravian Prayer: As we walk through life, guiding God, help us to avoid the dangers and distractions that tempt us to stray. Like the saints before us, help us to walk with you, diligently serving and patiently trusting that we will see your promises fulfilled and your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.

Missing my dad's voice

Saturday, December 14, 2024

4 years ago from yesterday, my dad died. I miss him more this year than ever. I want to run ideas past him, hug his barrel chest, and hear his curt snap-back with an answer to any question we had. He was a quick and instinctive thinker who said what he thought without filtering words in case someone wanted to take offense. What a relief it was to call him for an honest opinion!

I miss his integrity. He warned me most often to be myself - to be the best self that God designed. He told me to ignore gossip and small thinking. He sure loved his family and his grandkids - and considered each of us his priceless treasures.

He said aloud what we both felt about management and gave me solid counsel: "Get the best executive admin and leave the details to that person. If you can't trust him/her with your money, your people, and your life, they're not the right fit. And when you find that person, don't let them go, no matter what others say."

He did that. He was a high trust person and a good boss who didn't hold a grudge if you failed. "Try again!" he'd say. "Failure is a lesson that cost only a blow to your pride or a chunk of your budget." He taught us that those could be recovered but you had learned something new and valuable. However, when someone betrayed or harmed others, that person was gone.

He let Mom run the home. At work, Patti ran the office. He handed her the administration, budgets, and office planning. So he worked at work and was home at home. I'd happily do the same.

In contrast, W grew up with a different level of trust. He manages our money and keeps personal things private. Because he wants things done the way he likes them, he prefers to do them himself. There's no way he'd hand the bulk of life's details to an executive assistant. However, he doesn't want fill his plate with most of the 101 details that an assistant tracks. So that stuff lands in my lap.

I'm stuck as my own executive admin, scribbling notes and sending them into the capable hands of others. "Did you get the social media up?" "Please create an announcement for the upcoming event." "Pls schedule the meeting. Check how many can attend at X:00." "Do we have resources for the volunteers?" "Can you check who is looking after ...?" It feels endless and exhausting to someone like me, who is wired to the big-picture.

I've seen leadership done and done well. And I've read that the best executive assistants love to pick up everything I'd happily drop. They run the world from behind the scenes. It's my fondest daydream to be able to sit down once a month with an executive admin to look over the quarter's budget and current calendar. I'd task that person to oversee social media, money, schedules, volunteers, resources, agendas, and more. 

I rarely have energy to cast vision or start new things. I don't mind occasional questions but wouldn't it be amazing to check off a day's meeting and tasks ... and still have capacity to think creatively about the year (or 5 years) ahead, setting something in motion (like Dad did) and letting others run it?! Dream on.

Today, my Dad would probably challenge me: "What's the matter with you? Why are you wasting your time on that?" haha I still hear his voice and feel his love.

I'd reply: "I know, Pop. I miss you, even when I can't follow your advice."

It's what it is. W and I have a satisfying life. I'm writing this on a tropical Porch overlooking a beautiful green backyard. That provides an antidote to the internal chaos of living strangely different from the way I'm wired.

Oops, hang on. Before I head out the door to that pre-meeting, let me write a quick note: "Are we covered for tomorrow's ...?"

Sunday

That morning pre-meeting pays off today. The team works together and knows their stuff. In the hall, Daniel has hung pictures of the IES family beside a tinsel tree for everyone to enjoy.

My new shoes had fit well in the stop. However, after wearing them for an hour I have blisters on my second toes. They also pinch the little toe on my left foot so hard that the pain is almost unbearable. I lift my foot every 10 minutes to release pressure. When I do, my whole foot shakes with relief.

It's a weird feeling to have no control of a foot flapping from the knee down. Hopefully no one notices. I remove my shoes during a meeting after the Gathering. And slide in with a different position afterward. Ah better - and even more relief when I take them off at home.

Our daughter shows me her solution for the ugly plastic pot under her Christmas tree: washi tape. Clever. Looks expensive and matches her coffee table!

In our yard, a clipping has rooted and is blooming in bright Christmas colors.

We walk by a mother hen with two chicks tucked under her wing. Another three peck at garbage nearby. We breathe shallowly and hiss at the chickens so they run out of the dogs' (harm's) way. For our one-mile loop, we endure a short stroll past the garbage dump before passing Bandung's 5-star hotel. (W reads their ad: "$300 instead of $600/night.") That's typical of the side-by-side contrasts in our city.

The Porch is quiet. The garden drips with rain - it's a miserable afternoon but we're under cover and the wind chimes are singing.

We eat lunch at a new place but nothing on the menu hits the spot. The ramen is warm not hot, without many noodles. My sandwich is grilled in olive oil = too much grease for me. But W like his sandwich and doesn't mind lots of oil.

The flowers from the hall are amazing as usual. We put them on the coffee table. Each week, Titik captures the beauty of the season in her arrangements.

"Flowers are hard to find," she admits. "Not much is available in flower shops right now." She supplements with plants from her own yard. What a gift of celebration she offers IES Bandung and us, week by week. When we visit hospital or others, we share the arrangement.

Monday

My friends and mentors teach me so much. Monday morning starts with calls. Work is work but the backdrop is festive when you work from home.

W and I head into town for most of the day, getting groceries for Christmas baking and events. He picks up the unrepaired weed-wacker (too broken to fix; he'll see if someone wants it for parts.) 

You know what a culture eats by what is stocked by their grocers. One entire aisle is 1-2 liter bags of cooking oils.

Another aisle is lined with ramen and other instant noodles.

When we get home, DrW has dropped off tea and cookies - she knows my favorite tea, which is only available in Malaysia.

At night, the lights glow.

Tuesday

This is my usual view on the neighborhood walk. W holds three dogs on one leash.

By the time the helpers come at 8 AM, I've relaxed by setting the table for afternoon tea.

The clotted cream is whipped, the marmalade is plated, and the butter and sugar are ready.

Today is baking day! The ingredients wait at room temperature on the counter as we pull out Christine's KitchenAid. W plugs it into the voltage adapter. There's no time to fool around with a hand mixer. I hear the familiar whir of the beater - we had a KAid in Seattle and it makes fast work of serious baking.

Today and Thursday, IbuA is making and refrigerating dough for +2000 cookies. IbuS and I will bake until all cookies are done. Angie has designed labels for the giveaway bags. Next week, Alice and crew will package the cookies for several events, making it a group project. The logistics are in place; we're praying for smooth sailing!

We confirm which guests are staying with us over Christmas and write Sunday's talk for the 4th Sunday of Advent.

The topic is PEACE. God's peace is much needed. And much appreciated. We hang the Advent ornament of the day on the tree. Each clear glass globe contains a verse and a Christmas item.

We wish you a wonderful season. There's one week left until Christmas. Please ensure you are not celebrating the birth of Jesus alone. Go to a church, meet with a group of friends, or gather with family. Make this the most special time of the year, whether it's been a year of joy or sorrow - because God is for you and his love is with you.

Read more:

*Love truth and peace. Zechariah 8:19

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Moravian Prayer: Understanding Savior, you are able to comprehend the message of our hearts, even when words fail us. We rejoice to be seen, heard, and known by you. Amen.

Castles, late books, and expats galore

Sunday, October 20, 2024

We get no sabbath, which we miss. Today continues yesterday's discussions about potential security issues for those who live abroad.

I pluck some greens off a tree and put them on the table to unknot my mind as we review potential dangers.

We enjoy lunches with other expats and make new connections. People who live globally have interesting stories.

One day we eat wonderful Chinese food. Another day we try a Peruvian restaurant housed in a classic Springfield building. We eat leftovers from each place for at least one or two more meals. The bill is normally $30-40 for the two of us. We keenly feel the sticker shock; we'd feed a small group for that back home.

Look at this tin ceiling and the old chandelier.

The wood carvings on the old bar are intact.

We walk back to training and spot a wasp nest forming in a painted doorway. Most Midwest construction is brick, unlike the wood used on the West Coast. Despite attempts at revitalization, few shops and restaurants are open Sunday or Monday.

For another lunch, we eat Dutch crepes served with smoked sausage, potatoes, raisins, and bananas. I take a picture so I can replicate the unusual mix when we get home.

The rose bushes along the parking lot are fragrant in the hot afternoon sunshine.

By the time we're headed back to the hotel, it's often dark.

W is curious about Bucky's, a midwest "thing." So we go in one day after work.

Its shelves carry high-calorie snacks and ranch-style souvenirs. In the center, some guys are barbecuing beef and chopping it for sandwiches. They make a noisy production of yelling at each other and slamming down the knife. Must be a boy thing.

Want the Western look? You may find it here. We leave empty-handed.

Tuesday

We fly to Seattle late Monday night after a final day about practical risk management. We unlock the door to our flat and haul in our luggage after 1:30 a.m., toss in a load of laundry, and fall asleep after 2:00.

We wake up this morning in our own beds, eat breakfast, and open the mail. My book series arrived while we were gone, too late to take along for those who asked for a copy. (We forgot to order them before we came - too much to do back then?) I'll stash them until our next visit.

It's a chore and pre-packing day. I start to refill a bottle from the tap in the laundry room and forget about it, flooding the floor. Mopping up the dust accumulating in the corners over time is an unexpected win! hehe We toss wet carpets and towels into the washing machine.

W has caught a cold as usual after travel. I avoid close proximity for a day or two. I don't want it! We prepare for Sunday's talk and sort through books.

The guys brought a bookshelf from upstairs into my basement office. The grandkids carry down loads as I take them off the upper shelves.  I'm deciding what to keep, rehome, or toss. The books make me smile: they contain memories of what I've learned, seen, and absorbed on their pages. I make a few giveaway piles and shelve the rest.

Kirsten is sorting her photos and finds a pic my Dad sent to our kids years ago. He included this tagline: Wow! Too bad you didn't know her sooner (= me as a little girl.) Lucky for them: I was a tomboyish whirlwind in pretty dresses, thanks to Mom. Looks like that day, Dad was preparing for summer by putting away the storm windows.

The younger grandkids sleep over tonight. They fall asleep quickly and without fuss. Good kiddos! (or Good Parents!) Their older sister is at orchestra practice and their older brother is browsing a book we bought at Windsor Castle (think: real knight armor, castle photos, and turrets.)

Wednesday

Sleepover is a success. The kids and W are sick so I sleep on my office sofa. I hear the hacking and coughing a few times in the night. (I'm trying to prevent getting ill as I have one more chance to see my mom who is very frail. That's this weekend.)

We empty two bookshelves from upstairs. The kids run down our books as I pull them off the shelves. What a boost! If I had to run them down, it would take a lot longer. I shelve mine of put them in giveaway bags.

The kids pile W's books and magazines in heaps before I get downstairs. Unfortunately, his office is completely full; when I come down, they've stacked his books in my office until he gets to them.

The kids head up to lunch, which their mom made before heading out to work. (She's amazing.) I tidy up, remake the sofa bed, and cook lunch for us: an omelet and a chopped salad. W is "under the weather" so he takes a shower and preps the PPT for Sunday's talk before resting.

I clear my books and W gets to his after a few days. The library card catalog is still going strong; art and office supplies are easy to find.

Read more:

*You are my witnesses, says the Lord. Isaiah 43:10

*Jesus said [to his followers], “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”  Acts 1:8

Moravian Prayer: Lord, you said you are the vine, and we are the branches. You ask us to carry your message and share it with those we encounter. At times, the mission is arduous, but your grace and our faith in you is constant. Be with us. Amen.

Sweet times and itching to learn

Monday, October 14, 2024

We have a mandatory trip to Springfield for security training that bites a chunk off our annual month of itineration. We hopped a plane yesterday after speaking at a morning service and lunch with a pastor.  Mt Rainier does not disappoint as we leave SeaTac.

We try to see our kids every year when we come back from Indonesia, especially our daughter in Texas. We see the lights of Austin below as we approach. We arrive at midnight after an uneventful flight. That's the best kind!

A lamp from Grandma's sheds light in the guest room. Year by year, Kirsten is making her home more beautiful and personal. It's a delight to see the memories she collects.

W has only a half-day with Kirsten before he's off to the theology commission in Springfield so he crams in as many repairs or upgrades as he can. She drops him off at the airport after a barbecue lunch YUM and his handyman specials.

Tuesday

Our goal is to find a bathroom rug, change outdated art in K's frames, and spend time together. Kirsten and I hang some pictures. Then we hit the discount stores: at DD's Hispanic discount store I find a Christmas tablecloth for $5.99 (well, a shower curtain with a cute fringe), At Ross' we load up on rug options.

Kirsten tests the rugs out in her bathroom and makes a final selection. There's no return policy in Indonesia. Get the wrong size? Wrong color? Appliance doesn't work? (They usually test it at the store because ...) There's no returns permitted.

Wednesday

We pull up crabgrass and seed the yard until after 11 a.m. We can't figure out what these little seed balls are. Or are they bug incubators? Anyone know?

When we eat at a Mexican restaurant, we're the only non-Hispanics. That's a good indicator of classic Mexican food at reasonable prices.

We return the unwanted rugs for K's bathroom to the Ross discounter.

We stop at TJ Maxx for an electric toothbrush and a few things for the house. It's odd to see that the social distancing introduced by COVID is alive and well in the checkout line.

We find the fabric K is looking for at JoAnn - a cute print of bees and another of the woodland animals that frequent K's yard. 

K's a wonderful cook so we're not losing weight, that's for sure. We take our time eating together.

Keelee's up for a call in the late evening, too. I miss the interactions with friends, often online. Sometimes they're busy; sometime we're not available. When we connect, it's a blessing.

Thursday

Kirsten makes tea sandwiches and scones for breakfast and we finish another round of watering in the seeded yard. 

It's a pleasure to spend time together. We agree that each visit gets sweeter. We laugh when we say the exact responses in unison - how can that be when we've lived apart for most of her life? Like daughter, like mother.

We replace old art in existing frames with new fabrics. I trim and hem a large tablecloth to fit K's tea table. K makes spicy noodles before we collapse onto the sofa to watch a fun renovation episode on Plex.

She drops me at the airport with time to spare. Austin has its own look in shops and the airport: "Modern Cowboy."

Both flights are very cold - it feels like 65o inside the planes and the Dallas lounge. People wear coats or drape themselves in blankets. 

W picks me up from the Springfield airport after midnight. We catch up on his week. He had satisfying meetings with the theology commission and got an incentive to write his book on women in ministry.

Friday

For the week, W has found a fancy Toyota Tacoma for a fraction of the price of car rental. The moon is on the wane but still huge as we open the curtains to a cold morning (43oF/6oC). Brrr. I don't have warm clothes along beyond a jacket and long-sleeved top. When I checked weather last week, it was in the 90s (33o) during the day. Today it may hit 70o (19o).

It's our one day off. We wake at 7:00. I'm feeling a little hungover from a short night. The mattresses are comfortable even in a cheaper hotel. The breakfast options are not appetizing: sugary cereals, white bread, and a slow-cooker full of chalk-grey gravy. The OJ is a tang-like mix. W researches breakfast places before we head out the door.

We end up at Gailey's, a downtown eatery, where meals are so big that we take half to our hotel for tomorrow.

We spot this sign, walking back to the truck. I thought Christians were quoting Jesus, not Gandalf. How odd.

This guy has an old man's chopper well in hand, sans helmet. That's legal in Missouri.

We buy some clothes at my once-a-year stop Half of Half Price. We stop at Aldi for chocolate and German breakfast fixings (bread, sausage, cheese).

Neither of us is hungry when we pause for a mid-afternoon lunch at Corner 21, the best Chinese food in Springfield. But when the food comes, our appetites revive. It's so good! We stash half of that in our hotel fridge, too. Portions in the USA are family-sized.

The ant bites (from working in K's yard) are swollen and irritated. W offers Orajel to soothe the itch.

The room has a bathtub which is a rare luxury. W naps while I soak. When the sun sets at 7:00 p.m., we're almost ready to rest for the hard week ahead.

Read more:

*Better is a dinner of vegetables where love is than a fatted ox and hatred with it. Proverbs 15:17

*Jesus also saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins. He said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them, for all of them have contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in all she had to live on.” Luke 21:2-4

Moravian Prayer: Holy Spirit, draw us closer to one another. Heaven is a place full of love and healing. It is up to us to bring Heaven to Earth, flooding our spaces with a deep love. Help us in this task. Amen.