Your money or your life #2: What money represents

Our dining area: nothing new in
this repurposed space, but it
represents a different direction for us

Last time, I wrote about "Whose money is it, anyway?" This time, I'm asking,

• What does money represent? 

We gain a token of tangible value (money) in exchange for life, for hours spent working or services given. 

We never get those hours back. They've been traded for ----- well, for what? At the cost of our life-hours, we acquire shelter (rent/mortgage), food, the lust of our eyes ("wants" encouraged by advertising), and our appetites (including recreational pleasures like hobbies, sports, concerts, restaurant, excursions, and vacations).

Money itself has no real value. It is paper, ink, and coins that gather dirty fingerprints along their journey. It may be only a flash on the computer screen in an electronic transfer. However, it represents our earnings as a medium of exchange, our life swapped for stuff, goods traded for services, and a means to an end.

The Russian samovar, ready to be
rehomed. Bamboo floor samples
found in a box = a temporary counter

A few years ago I read Your Money or Your Life by Robin and Dominguez. Their premise was we barter our energy, hours, relationships, and personhood for stuff and experiences. The authors presented this stunning option: Before buying something, consider how many hours of your life you are willing to give up for it.

That revolutionized my spending. Was that bowl worth a half-hour of my life? Was the haircut and color worth three hours of my week (plus an afternoon in the hairdresser chair)? Was the meal out worth an hour of my husband's life? Sometimes the answer was yes. Many times I've forgotten to ask those questions and frittered away my time and energy. But that philosophy of money-for-life filters most major purchases.

Granddaughter K having tea
in the new space: she's worth
an investment in the future

No wonder Jesus talked so much about money. He said where our treasure is, our heart would be also. Is my treasure here? Or in heaven? As I've sold off and given away over half of our household in the last months, I marvel at what is left. We still seem have too much to dust, vacuum, and store.

What did you purchase last week (or month)? Were the hours of your life worth investing in these things? Did what you acquired - in goods, services, or relationships - provide the soul-satisfaction and meaning you expected? Did they make the world a better place for others? Did they spread the Good News of God-with-us? Why or why not?

What does your money represent? The way you spend or save your money reflects how you are investing your life - in transient or eternal ways. Think about it!

Read more:
*Do not plan harm against your neighbor who lives trustingly beside you. Proverbs 3:29 NEV

*For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 NEV

*Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant. 1 Corinthians 13:4 NEV

*“Where, O death, is your victory?  Where, O death, is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.

But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. 1 Corinthians15:55-58 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Passionate Lord, help us to live planting and sowing love. Do not harden our hearts but rather make them tender so we can live in peace and harmony with our neighbors and friends. Amen.

Down they go!

First meal: artisan toast with
cranberry goat cheese and
pickled herring. (Yes, we're
eating our way through the pantry.)

How did you feel the last time you moved? Was it hard - or a relief - to go through the things that had to be left behind? Was moving away a mind trip? Did you love your arrival and the new place?

Our kids and 2-year-old granddaughter moved in with us a month and a half ago. When we negotiated living together, everyone promised not to push me into an unfinished space: I've done it twice before and it's unsettling (to say the least). So while Timo and W left for work each day, M and I have been doing cooking and doing chores around the boxes (theirs and ours) in the hallways and rooms.

The whole project started in April, after we felt called to move to Indonesia next year. We had an unfinished basement space, impossibly heaped with shelves, boxes, a commercial pool table, and years of unexamined storage. Our kids' lease was expiring in the fall; we'd need a place to stay on furloughs. After confirmation of our appointment, I sold our dining table, movers shifted the pool table into what used to be our dining room, and the project got underway.

A first look at our living room / bedroom

I planned the space while W cleared and sorted and removed. Placing the walls and plumbing on a sketch, I could almost imagine the future. There were a few bumps and re-negotiations along the way, shifts in thinking when building reality leaned against my drawings.

Slowly but surely, a home emerged. W and our son scrubbed 20 years of living off the concrete floors and painted them white. Friends helped plumb, drywall, and paint walls and ceilings the same white color. Our friend Terry wired the basement, asking, "Won't the living room be too bright with six sconces @ two bulbs each?"

I can safely say, "Nope. Just right." I'm not a friend of darkness by day.

Another side of the room

The guys dragged down our bigger furniture, while I made dozens of trips daily between the upper floor and the basement, boxes in hand. There's barely been time to wipe down the emptying spaces. Our daughter-in-law, highly pregnant, is nesting for the baby's arrival next month. She's on my heels with a washrag and vacuum. "I have a thing for deep-cleaning when I move in or out," she says. If we would have moved the normal way, I would have done that for her. Oh well, another casualty of good intentions.

Strangers have come and gone, hauling away our past life. Furniture, rugs, cookware, and decor found new homes through Craigslist and Freecycle, funding our build-out below. Reef tanks, dogs, and "future replacements" for the house ... gone. My brother purchased our friend's grand piano from the living room. Gradually we've emptied the kitchen, bathrooms, and my office.

And a comfy chair behind the
zebra hide footstool.

Monday, I packed the last of our daughter Kirsten's things into our SUV, meeting the mover who was dead-heading a run to Austin, where she lives. We'd loaned K's piano to a family in the next suburb: the mover  pushed the piano up the ramp, loaded her treasures and my Bernina sewing machine into his truck, and pulled away.

We spent our first night downstairs yesterday. The mattress is comfy and we woke when we were rested: there are no windows to tell us when the sun comes up. Before work, W sorts info on his computer, a few feet away from where I type.

Today, it seems farther up two flights of stairs to our bedroom to empty our bedroom closet than it was coming down from upstairs. But that baby and our relocation to Indonesia is waiting for no one. Off we go.

Read more:
*I have ventured to speak to the Lord, although I am but dust and ashes. Genesis 18:27 NASB

*Christ says, "Everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." Luke 11:10 NEV

*Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 NIV

*Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. James 1:2-6 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Loving Father, although we were born from dust and ashes, may we ask for blessings when we are in need. When we seek you Lord, let us find you there. Reassure us that you will answer. Amen.

*(CS Lewis, to Mary Willis Shelburne, June 5, 1961: On being overconcerned about the past of others and of our own.) We must beware of the Past, mustn’t we? I mean that any fixing of the mind on old evils beyond what is absolutely necessary for repenting our own sins and forgiving those of others is certainly useless and usually bad for us. Notice in Dante that the lost souls are entirely concerned with their past. Not so the saved. This is one of the dangers of being, like you and me, old. There’s so much past, now, isn’t there? And so little else. But we must try very hard not to keep on endlessly chewing the cud. We must look forward more eagerly to sloughing that old skin off forever—metaphors getting a bit mixed here, but you know what I mean.

The Overhaul Orchestra

Ah, it's music to my ears. I could dance to the rhythms! The tap-tapping makes my heart sing and my blood move.

What's the symphony instrumentation? The drill bit whirls; the hammer bangs away; and the circular saw hisses a loud melody. I love it!

Some of my best "dates" since marriage have been to the building store. My tendency for "What about this?" and "We could do that!" kicks into high gear. I like browsing the hardware aisle, with its possibilities. "It may have been designed for that, but I could use it for this ... or this!" Who knew it could be so much fun to dream up possibilities of space?

A swallow's nest

The guys are working away, installing electrical sockets in the basement. "This is a wonderful space," one says. "I could live here."

If he could see it the way I do in my mind's eye - clean and jazzed up with color and design - he'd move right in.

Read more:
*But I, by your great mercy, will come into your house; in reverence will I bow down toward your holy temple. Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness because of my enemies—make straight your way before me. Psalm 5:7-8  NIV (1984)

*How lovely is your dwelling place, LORD of heavenly forces! My very being longs, even yearns, for the LORD's courtyards. My heart and my body will rejoice out loud to the living God! Yes, the sparrow too has found a home there; the swallow has found herself a nest where she can lay her young beside your altars, LORD of heavenly forces, my king, my God! Those who live in your house are truly happy; they praise you constantly.

Those who put their strength in you are truly happy; pilgrimage is in their hearts. As they pass through the Baca Valley, they make it a spring of water. Yes, the early rain covers it with blessings.  They go from strength to strength, until they see the supreme God in Zion.

LORD God of heavenly forces, hear my prayer; listen closely, Jacob's God! Look at our shield, God; pay close attention to the face of your anointed one! Better is a single day in your courtyards than a thousand days anywhere else! I would prefer to stand outside the entrance of my God's house than live comfortably in the tents of the wicked.

The LORD is a sun and shield; God is favor and glory. The LORD gives—doesn't withhold!—good things to those who walk with integrity. LORD of heavenly forces, those who trust in you are truly happy! Psalm 84

Life, more and less

Our friend Lindsey leaves for the Philippines today. We met her at Pre-Field Orientation (PFO) in June. We're praying that she's the same blessing as an elementary teacher as she's been to me already.

On our end, we continue to pare down (5 bags and a skateboard, picked up by the Big Blue Truck today), sell (Craigslist), and give away (Freecycle) our possessions. It's messy work.

Here's a before and after of painting the upcoming bathroom. Friends, kids, and W continue to sand drywall in hopes of painting the basement this weekend. W hopes to put up cabinets soon so I can shift things from our kitchen. The next householders need the space!

In process:
our bath-to-be

What a difference
white paint makes!

Timothy, Melissa, and Kinsey (2) move in this week with the rest of their stuff. A bunch is here: I'm typing and grading Singapore papers on their kitchen table. Their boxes are crammed under the pool table (in our former dining room), sit atop the hutch in the family room, and fill K's future bedroom. The guest room is getting emptier: we moved its futon to the LR; and their bed goes in tonight.

Almost healed: one of the
bruises from having the
futon crash on me last week

I'm almost at a stand-still mentally. Visual as I am, I break into a cold sweat with the clutter of W's 3'X3' book scanner on the window-seat, our Le Corbusier chaise halfway under T's wrought-iron-base table, and my suffering houseplants ... and that's just the kitchen nook, never mind the rest of the house.

Lord have mercy. Thanks for prayers and smiles, hugs, and other comfort from those of you who say, "We've been there. We know. It's not forever." Love ya!

In the middle of this process, I've had a lot of time to reflect on God's character and His priorities:

Just big enough: a little
fridge @$75 from CL

• How God sees us. Each of us is valued and beloved by him. Those unlike us are JUST AS PRECIOUS to Him as we are. He wants a relationship with every one of us, drawing us close through the cross and the power of His resurrection.
• How each person is made. Parts of us reflect God's nature, beauty, and goodness. Other parts need renewal and refinement by God's grace ... day by day, month by month, year by year.
• How we interact with others. Some of us fear closeness and proximity. Some welcome it. Still others don't care one way or another: they easily flow in and out relationships.
• How we perceive and process the world. I'm mostly visual so what I see impacts my inner life. As a musician, I process life by walking over to play piano in the LR corner. I'm missing my well-tuned, beautifully-maintained Bosendorfer already.

  

  Mama-mia! What a mess.

• How we process change and transition. W and I are moving ahead differently. With a full-time job, he teaches during the day. He is occupied with the build-out in the evening, racking up concrete accomplishments at both places. My full-time job - including lots of breaks - includes ordering my surroundings. My biggest accomplishment seems to be learning patience, waiting for others to finish so I can move forward with tasks.
• Routines are important. Our kids came over for lunch Sunday. The normal felt good, pulling out pots, plates, and food, cooking, and eating together. When life is in turmoil, it helps to sit back, relax, and enjoy the familiar.
• God's ways are wonderful, complex, and never quite expected. Reading scripture and praying for others keeps my mind on Him. I'm really happy and anticipating the future, most of the time. (Yeah, I write to process the rest. Writing and making music keeps me semi-sane.)

Read more:

*Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth. Psalm 124:8 NLT

*You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts
in you. Isaiah 26:3 NLT

*Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” NLT

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:17-2 ESV

*At the name of Jesus every knee should bend, in heaven and on earth and under the earth. Philippians 2:10 NLT

Moravian Prayer: Father, help us, protect us, and comfort us. As we walk through your world serving your will we know that you are there with us. Thank you for always being by our side. We are humbled by your mighty word. Amen.

After a week off

I'm back after nearly a week off. Missed you!

The fourposter bed, gone.
We start to sort the room. Ugh.

"Keep the main areas - kitchen, bathroom, and LR - clean, and the whole house looks clean," says my mom.

"Sorry, Mom. The house is a mess." There are boxes in the entry and piles of coats on the sofa. Our life is being sifted. The donation truck comes by again Tuesday, so that will help. Our bedroom turns into a sorting station.

Meanwhile, the basement is becoming the shell of a real home. The Sheetrock has its first and second mud coats. It takes a long time to dry with cement block walls. By week's end, W puts in heaters and a fan, which speeds up the drying process.

Our monstrous fabulous 4' Victorian lamp,
for sale.

• Monday: coffee tables and end tables get picked up. I fill 4 huge garbage bags of clothing out of my closet. I start grading Singapore papers.
• Tuesday: My coaching partner visits at the house; we have so much to talk about, we skip the coaching. My dad brings our nephew Lemuel to NU. I hand over a few sets of towels and bed linens. Yay. More stuff gone. The Blue Truck picks up the donation clothing. Also,  CL-ers buy two sets of stacking chairs. 
• I decide to quit FB for the week. I'm definitely addicted to my computer and have to stay in touch with buyers, but I can live without social media, can't I?
• Wednesday: We wake on a mattress on the floor; someone bought our bed Tuesday and T delivered it to them. It's weird lying 2' lower than our night tables.

  

  A table-full of
  redundant crystal

• Thursday: Breakfast with credentialed female ministers @ 3rd Place Commons. Freecyclers take picture frames and magazines. For supper, W and I cycle the 5 miles I walked earlier to Lake Forest Park. Feels good to be moving.
• In the evening, I crash down the front concrete stairs when the futon frame the guys carry outside topples onto me. Blue bruises. No breaks. Relieved
• Friday: Washer and dryer are delivered. 
• We meet with missionaries from Surabaya, Indonesia, John and Korie Taylor. They are very encouraging and answer a lot of questions about where we're headed. THANKS, you two! Looking forward to working together.
• W recycles a huge TV that's clogged up the guest room for years. He empties the back door closet to create a mini-bedroom (5'X9') for Miss K, our granddaughter.

  

  Goodbye, old friends

• I take the last china teacups, crystal, and Hummels out of the hutch and a young couple hauls it away. The dishes sit in forlorn heaps on the kitchen table. By next week, we'll have to clear away everything so a two-year-old explorer can't break it. Our kids move in next Saturday.
• Saturday: T brings more of their stuff over. Freecyclers claim our bedding, picture frames, and magazines. W sells a disability ramp and I sell a closet full of art supplies. My office looks like a dump: everything from the upstairs guest room is being sorted there.
• W and Jono continue mudding the drywall. I pack away crystal glasses and art supplies, and post more stuff on Craigslist.
• We're now on the hunt for a small fridge, 14-18 cubic feet. (No handles please! The kitchen's too small for protrusions.)
• How strange to crawl out of bed rather than climbing down: our fourposter bed was tall. The futon mattress is as low as it gets.

  

  Buying lunch with our little helpers

• Sunday: we get to Creekside (love our church!) and the whole family comes over for lunch. I go a bit crazy cooking in my kitchen for the last Sunday. Thank you, Costco: 3 kinds of ravioli, kale salad, beet and jicama slaw, garlic bread, Alfredo sauce. oooooh - and dessert. We call K in TX as usual: it was her birthday last week. It's so good to hear her voice! and pray together, but we wish she was at the table. Miss K settles right into her nap with Elmo, her doggie, and a stuffed cat. She likes her new "room" (the guest closet) and sleeps for over 2 hours. Good girl!

 I'm astonished at how much furniture flew out our doors in the last weeks. I'd expect the home to be emptier. Except for waking up 8" from the floor, the house still feels full. T and M are gradually transferring their things to our place, refilling emptied rooms.

I'll decide what we're keeping, packing, and giving away once the basement cabinets are in. If something doesn't fit, we can't keep it, whether dishes, furniture, rugs, or clothing. Once we're moved, I'll pack up the rest of the house and the kids can take over.

The kitchen takes shape

Our sale funds buy basement appliances, paint, and building supplies. Two workers from our friend's company come and go each morning. Appliances and cupboards are scattered between a table holding tools. The dust causes me to cough when I view the progress downstairs each evening. A good friend brings by a propane construction heater. W paints the kitchen area and we're happy with those clear warm white walls and floor.

I'm trying not to get impatient, but it will take 3X longer to get things packed up with a 2-year-old helping. I have one more week of grace, but it's a week in which I can't move things any way but out. And so out things go! The less we keep the better.

I wonder about the things we attach ourselves to. Though I've enjoyed the abundance, I've begun to look forward to a pared-down life. The new season is rushing in.

Read more:
*We ponder your steadfast love, O God, in the midst of your temple. Psalm 48:9 NLT

*Let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another. Hebrews 10:24-25 NLT

Moravian Prayer: Oh God, to your temple we come. Where we are, you are. Let us come together in example and encouragement always in your name and following your will. Let our hearts show your Christian love, today and always. Amen.

The unsettling start of goodbyes

Raclette - 2 grills and bowls of food!

I've spent the weekend on retreat with ministry peers. I didn't turn on my phone until I was on the way home. I have someone else's pictures.

We rested, listened for God's voice, and shared our dreams and hopes in ministry, as well as challenges.

We started the weekend with Friday supper: Raclette (photo). It's a Swiss invention, where food is grilled at the table; under the grill little dishes hold cheese melting over potatoes. We took our time meeting each other, getting settled, and relaxing.

Beth Backus maintains a home for an absentee owner. The setting is gorgeous, a modern house dropped into 7 acres of woodland and lawns. Beth has permission to use the house for ministry retreats. She dreams of drawing weary ministers away from their hectic lives for a time of refreshing.

Four of us on her ministry team helped lay out the weekend. Beth invited Karen Porter and Amy to our inaugural weekend. God met us during intentional hours in community. We also spent 3 hours of solitude without electronics! listening to God's voice.

Beth cooked breakfast crepes and her husband prepared a delicious Italian feast in the evening. Karen led in worship with her guitar. We enjoyed Kim Martinez's soup for two lunches.

This morning we celebrated communion. Vicki Judd prepared unleavened bread dough. She showed us how to roll out (crush) the dough. Then we used a fork to outline (pierce) pictures on it.

After the hot bread came out of the oven, we sat down at the table. Each woman shared the symbols on her bread, tore off pieces to share, and then led us in the memorial: "This bread is my body, broken for you. This cup is my blood, shed for you." We ate and drank together each time, relishing the beauty of what we've learned about Christ's sacrifice.

I carpooled home with my friend Kim, then walked into a full house. My husband and our kids were near the entry, wrapping up their birthday party lunch with Waldemar. Two strangers were finishing a set-up in our former dining room: they'd moved our pool table from the basement. (The big round dining table now lives in the family room.)

The new pool room

I'm okay on the outside, but my heart hurts as my house is disassembled. W's finishing out the basement after we return from summer ministry. I'm glad that the kids want to keep our commercial pool table. Plus, we need the space downstairs for our bedroom/living area.

This last week God has made very clear that this is no longer our house. The kids will move in this fall. As we sort what we are selling, giving away, and keeping, the house is in chaos. W's moving things from the basement, his office, and the attic. After class each day, I come home to great progress ... and piles and boxes in the entry and living areas.

I'm a visual person who lives and breathes in spaces. I'm excited to design and furnish the new space. It will be basic and utilitarian, a stopping place for less than a year and later for short furloughs. We don't have money to waste on fancy finishes. However, the process exhausts me, as beloved pieces drift from where they have lived out the door, into other homes. The stuff we're keeping is stuck amid the disorder until the basement is done.

The summer house-sitter comes Friday, when we leave for mission training and our summer assignment in Singapore. I'll leave the craziness behind with relief. For now, each time I walk through the house my heart feels unsettled, mourning the start of goodbyes. This is only the beginning of downsizing and moving away.

I know all the theology. "Life is temporary; this world is not our home."  As I talk to Jesus, I'm asking for a heart that matches what my head knows.

He's the center of everything, and when the cloud or the fire of his Presense moves, we are happiest when we follow. That doesn't mean it's easy.

Read more:
*The heavens will vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment, and those who live on it will die like gnats; but my salvation will be forever. Isaiah 51:6 NLT

*His greatness will reach to the ends of the earth. Micah 5:4 NIV

*Every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:11 NLT

*John wrote: And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.” Revelation 21:3 (NIV)

Moravian Prayer: Lord of all, we recognize every day that Jesus Christ, your Son, is Lord of all. You are ever-present and ever-loving. We are forever grateful.

O God, our God, how grateful we are that you are here among us, dwelling with us, abiding with us, through triumph and turmoil. This world is temporary; our salvation is forever. Thanks be to God! Amen.