First responses

All photos from BBC Day in Pictures, January 2

I woke this morning with a to-do list and a song in my head. The to-do list whirled around with possible outcomes:

• Did I understand that email correctly? Was I supposed to extend an invitation or is the meeting host making the arrangements. Check in with the leader before moving ahead.
• When I ask the store for this item, the response might be a) ... or b) ... or c)...
• The list from last week's team meeting: pull it out and get moving on it.
• Write a thank-you to ...

And so on.

The song conducting my waking toe movements is a happy one: (Click here to listen.)
Chorus:
You have been so good to me
You have been so good to me
I came here broken, You made me whole
You have been so good, You have been so good
You have been so good to me (repeat)

Verse:
How can I thank You, there is just no way
How can I thank You, Lord, how could I repay
For Your kindness, for Your tenderness
For Your constant Presence here with me

Before I roll out of bed, I grab the IPad on my nightstand to listen to a daily coaching moment with Dr. Dave Martin. This morning he talks about the consequences of humanity's fall. God asks Adam and Eve two questions: 1) Where are you? 2) What have you done?

In a coaching setting, what great questions to evaluate the past before doing the next thing.

As usual, my mind churns in a direction not necessarily intended by Coach Dave. My question is: What would have happened if Adam had been honest and repentant? What if, instead of trying to stay hidden, the first people had confessed: "We both messed up. We did what you forbade. How can we make it right?"

From everything I read in scripture, God responds to sincere grief over wrongdoing. An entire wicked city was spared from judgment when they mourned their sins. (Read about it here.) Would God have reacted differently to Adam and Eve, had they fallen on their faces with a heartfelt "Help us! Forgive! We are sorry!"?

Instead, Adam and Eve go into the world, raise children, and die at an old age. We can't prove that Adam and Eve were good people among sinners, as many of us assume. Adam died in the generation before the flood of Noah, when Noah's father Lamech was an adult and wickedness was rampant on the earth. Adam may have been the model of awfulness that his kids and grandkids followed, though the Redeemer was promised in his lineage. (Crazy to think about, isn't it?)

How faithful God is to his promise. How can it be that I fall among those chosen to believe? Unfathomable. Amazing.

By the time I eat breakfast, my head fills with theological possibilities, my heart's singing about God's faithfulness and "Barmherzigkeit" (lovingkindness and mercy coming from the heart), and I'm eager to see what the day holds.

What a wonderful way to start the week! How was your Monday awakening? What was your first responses to God's "Good morning, dear one?"

Read more:
*Then Solomon and all Israel celebrated the Festival of Shelters in the presence of the LORD our God. A large congregation had gathered from as far away as Lebo-hamath in the north and the Brook of Egypt in the south. The celebration went on for fourteen days in all—seven days for the dedication of the altar and seven days for the Festival of Shelters. After the festival was over, Solomon sent the people home. They blessed the king and went to their homes joyful and glad because the LORD had been good to his servant David and to his people Israel. 1 Kings 8:65–66

*Psalm 18:7-15; 1 Chronicles 26; Acts 16:30-17:3

*The Lord put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Psalm 40:3

*Jesus said to the blind man, “Receive your sight; your faith has saved you.” Immediately he regained his sight and followed him, glorifying God. Luke 18:42-43

Moravian Prayer: Compassionate Savior, we praise you this day. Keep your praises on our lips and in our hearts. Touch our spiritual eyes that we may see you more clearly and worship you faithfully as you created us to do. Amen.

Where love looks

It's becoming pretty clear from my Monvee evaluations that ideas, creativity, and life-in-motion are some of my core values. So how does an "idea-person, activator, or strategic thinker" (Strengthfinder 2.0) show love for others? My focus naturally falls to tasks and speech, to helping people move from where they are into exploration of their potential and use of their gifts. I'm thinking about where my love looks, where it rests its gaze, and what it envisions for the ones I love.

I love this from Real Simple's Daily Thought:

Certainly there are times and places for "gazing at each other" or taking a second and third look.

• When being introduced, we may look closely several times, evaluating if this person is someone who will become a friend or coworker.
• At the beginning of a romance, you want to see the other person and have them look back at you. 
• At special occasions, we may focus on the memories etched in a loved one's face.

The true love that God goes further. It examines the trajectory of a life, falls alongside to boost and support, and walks at the beloved's side. Through thick and thin. Through joys and sorrows. Through failure and success.

Guests swimming at a luxury hotel in Jakarta while
the rest of the city endures flooding (BBC)

Love doesn't isolate itself from reality. It doesn't ignore the needs around us (see photo right).

Let's find the direction of God's love and people's needs. I can probably come up with some ideas to make that kind of true love come alive today. How about you?

Read more:

*May he give us the desire to do his will in everything and to obey all the commands, decrees, and regulations that he gave our ancestors. 1 Kings 8:58 NLT

*Your way, O God, is holy. Psalm 77:13

*O the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! Romans 11:33

Moravian Prayer: Holy Lord and God, you are the way the truth and the life. Fill us with your Holy Spirit; teach us your wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. Move self out of the way and direct our paths. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Unsatisfied? Reconsider self-gifting

An NPR comment caught my ear: "Self-gifting is a new thing. People would never have purchased for themselves fifty years ago! That would have been considered a lack of humility."

Humility is hardly a valued characteristic in a generation that grew up singing, "I Did It My Way," or their children who hummed along to, "Break Your Heart." It's all about me, my values, my wants. MY presents! Even if I buy them myself.

Around Thanksgiving I decided to "fast" from shopping until after Christmas. Our kids could pick ornaments, china, electronics, crystal, or chatchkis from our house if they needed more stuff. They sure don't want my husband or me buying junk to pile on top of their things, no matter how nice we think that junk is or how much we spend. Do your family and friends feel the same?

I can't tell you how often I've clicked out of an online shopping cart since my spending fast began. Or how many times I've forgotten and purchased a trinket or indulgence. Last weekend, I splurged on salted caramel handmade chocolates. Not because I needed them but because my eyes desired them and I forgot about my fast. Consumerism makes it easy to splurge on self-gifts: "You deserve this." "You have looked for this for a long time." (Do three weeks feel long to you?) "It's on sale." Etc.

In contrast, God's self-gifts are unlike ours. He doesn't look for His own advantage, for what we can give Him. Instead, He spends Himself freely on us as a response of His loving character. He wants to be with us. He cherishes the creatures He has made enough to reach out to us through Jesus (aptly cliched  as "the Reason for the season.")

God refuses to be our Gimme-Genie. The biblical writer James warns, "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." (James 4:3)

I've asked God for a lot of things: health, safety, money for school, and peace in the family. He's often responded with, "Yes, gladly!" But not always. Sometimes we get sick. We run out of resources. Relationships churn through difficult times. God doesn't always give us what we think we deserve or want. Faith demands trust in a God who knows what is best and right for us and those we care about.

Instead of spending money and resources on our pleasures, shall we consider giving ourselves away this month? After all, when we belong to God, we should imitate him in all things. We can gift love to the unlovable. Justice instead of self-service. Mercy instead of punitive action. Grace to the most undeserving. Friendship with the unlovely. Generosity to the poor.

That kind of self-giving is ultimately satisfying and soul-filling. Plus you skip the huge debts and financial self-immolation that hits after the holidays are over. What do you think?

Read more:
*You are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all day long. Psalm 25:5

*Christ says, “Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.” Matthew 7:7

*Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” John 6:35 NIV

*[In the last week of his life, Jesus said,] "Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." John 16:22-24

Moravian Prayer: O God of our salvation, eternal hope and source of strength, let our lives be a response to your steadfast love and grace. Amen.

Love without fear

(Jesus said, ) But the third servant brought back only the original amount of money and said, "Master, I hid your money and kept it safe. I was afraid because you are a hard man to deal with, taking what isn't yours and harvesting crops you didn't plant."

"You wicked servant!" the king roared. "Your own words condemn you." Luke 19:20–22

What’s wrong with bringing back an original investment? It’s better than risking all and losing, isn’t it? Re-reading the verses above, I wonder if unearned gains are the reason the king reacts. Perhaps it’s not as much about keeping what we have, as hoarding out of fear. Perhaps it’s not doing our best because of our trepidation of failure … or success.

I’ve been thinking about what life would be like if we loved without fear or faltering. Most of us, in loving and living, have a certain amount of anxiety or hesitation about risking all in the act of giving ourselves to others.

But what if we threw ourselves into life with reckless love, regardless of the perils? What if we were willing to put everything on the line – our reputations, our dignity, our sense of entitlement to reciprocal love – to embrace others and our opportunities with all our personalities and character?

From some, that would look extravagant and extroverted, a splash of kindness in every direction. It’s scary for those who are used to being pushed away from their attempts to do things for others to keep an outgoing flow of love. Especially when we’re told over and over again, “No thanks! Keep away!” “I don’t want your attention!” or “I’ve got life under control, back off!” More devastating still, hearing: “Who do you think you are? You’re not good enough to contribute to me/ this project/ this ministry (etc.)”

Others would quietly serve, wholeheartedly seeing to the good of those around us. Sometimes a gentle spirit is crushed by not being noticed, by having attention drawn to good deeds, or hearing a scathing remark about the inadequacy of such actions. Having someone take the credit while belittling us for loving acts or sacrificial commitments can wither the heart, too.

It might also be shocking to receive such unfeigned grace and good deeds. After all, aren’t we sometimes suspicious of those who lavish good works around them? Don’t we fear that someone who does us a favor may want something from us? Something we might not be willing to return to them?

With all the talk of “love banks” where good actions or “deposits” accumulate to balance “withdrawals” of human need or unkind actions, it’s hard not to start measuring what we are owed and what we owe others. Sometimes, starting from a core distrust, such measurements begin to build a relationship. In truth, we’re so far in debt as far as God is concerned, that the accounting of rights and wrongs smacks of humanism, not godliness.

Scripture says we owe an un-repayable debt of love – that we have become debtors to Christ. In fact, we are His slaves, entirely purchased at Calvary through a bloody ransom. Therefore, if our Master asks us to love other, we don’t have permission or power to refuse – if we want to stay in right relationship with Him. (“By this everyone will know you are my disciples, that you have love one for another,” Jesus said bluntly.)

We probably try to like and love most people. However, I’m thinking beyond the human ability to do no harm and to be nice to those who are our friends and family.

LOVE WITHOUT FEAR. What would a day of that look like to those around me? To those around you? How would such courage feel?

Read more:

*Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him. Lamentations 3:22-25 NIV 

*I will rejoice in the Lord; I will exult in the God of my salvation. Habakkuk 3:18

*Jesus answered, “How can the guests of the bridegroom fast while he is with them?” Mark 2:19 (NIV)

Moravian Prayer: Creator and Sustainer, you have provided such bounty for us, your children. When we feel a lack of earthly things, help us to trust in you to provide for our needs, on earth and in heaven. In Christ’s name. Amen.

Lent Day 5: Thankful for new beginnings

"Yikes!" I just picked up the dissertation sent in last week. The editors and I missed a few things. How can there still be dozens of improvements after dozens of readings and hundred of dollars spent for edits?

Laying aside the copy (at p.35 of 350 already zoning out with all the qualifiers - get to the story, get to the story!), I'm reflecting on the grace of God at the cusp of another week. Some of you are hunched over your keyboards at work. Some are unloading tools for manual labor. Some stretch in their beds after a long weekend or a night shift.

God is extending his favor to each of us. Lent, the time for thanksgiving and meditation on Jesus as Savior, reminds us that God's mercy is new every morning. We do not have a Father in heaven who looks for the smallest infraction so he can thump us and cow us with power and anger. Our Father calls us into relationship, allowed us to kill his Son to ransom us from eternal banishment, and then--and then--lets us choose for or against his provisions. No other world religion or folk traditions can dream up a God so tender, so lovingly sacrificial, or so merciful!

This morning, I'm asking God for wisdom and understanding. I want to recognize him when he speaks. To obey him better. To follow more closely. To swim in his sea of new beginnings and surf his waves of grace. How about you?

Read more:

*Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. Psalm 25:8

*My child, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and people. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing and your vats will brim over with new wine. 

My child, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke because the LORD disciplines those he loves as a father the child he delights in. 

Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies. Nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed. By wisdom the LORD laid the earth’s foundations, by understanding he set the heavens in place; by his knowledge the watery depths were divided and the clouds let drop the dew. 

My child, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight. Preserve sound judgment and discretion; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety and your foot will not stumble. When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked for the LORD will be at your side and will keep your foot from being snared.

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, “Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you”— when you already have it with you.

*I will set my eyes upon them for good. I will build them up, and not tear them down; I will plant them, and not pluck them up. Jeremiah 24:6

*So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. 1 Corinthians 3:7

Moravian Prayer: God of heaven and earth, as we worship, let us praise you as Lord who is able to shape us as a people of one mind. You are the one who also provides for us the life-giving water needed to sustain our growth. Amen.

*But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. 1 Peter 2:9-10 NIV

In with the Old...

In with the Old Testament, that is. I listen to the Bible on radio a few times a day. 

I find the Old Testament really depressing. It's not that God is unfaithful or uncaring. It's that we are such stupid people, generation after generation. (I'm not using the term "stupid" lightly, either.) 

From the time the first people began to reason, we think we know better than God. Adam and Eve choose "the knowledge of good and evil" over knowing God and the wonderful surprises he had planned in his relationship with them. By the time Noah is told to build the ark, humanity is so corrupt that God chooses to start over with Noah and his family. Researches note that Noah would have had to take about 3,800 species into the ark to keep diversity as we see it today; everyone and everything could have fit into his boat as long as Noah saved the lower tier for manure. Ugh stinky. But after all that work, one of his grown sons is disrespectful and consigned to serve everyone else. The writer of Genesis doesn't say if Noah had a temper, but his curse on his son sure sounds like it.

Then Moses, the murderer, impulsive caretaker, and meekest person on the planet. Gideon, who keeps making excuses why he shouldn't lead and builds an idol from the spoils of God's victory. Rehaboham, Solomon's heir, who splits the kingdom by being a tyrant. Israel, who goes "whoring after other gods" time and time again... 

It's just depressing. Some people find the OT uplifting because of God's faithfulness. I think that's the only good part of the story. People who are faithful to God get thumped by their peers. They're told they are out of step and idiots to serve God. Evildoers hunt them down and kill them when possible. Much of the Old Testament contains God's warnings of the horrible punishments his righteous judgment will inflict. Does anyone pay attention? Very few do. Very few indeed.

It gives me a heavy stomach to read the stories. I find myself stopping and losing track between all the prostitution, killing, and idolatry. Which is why I have scripture read to me on UCB Bible. I can focus on the words, the scope, the ongoing movement of God among us through history.

I don't understand most of what the Bible says about God. He is like the wind whose movement is seen and felt but cannot itself be captured. The more I know, the less wisdom and understanding I seem to have. The older I get and the deeper into a life of faith, the more trust it takes to pray, "Not my will but yours for this day." I want to shout, every time I see horrible things on the news, experience another surgery alongside my daughter who lives in pain, or hear of marriages breaking up, financial ruin, and people taking advantage of others-- "PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION! DON'T BE SUCH MORONS!!! GOD WHERE ARE YOU?!!"

But would anyone mind a warning? I'd probably be sent away to an asylum for disturbing the peace, if not for appealing to God for help.

Yet I also sin. Continually. I break the law and cut into line, looking out for myself rather than my neighbor. I look without pity on the poor and needy and walk by those who need my help, the Pharisee hastening on the other side of the road so I don't become "defiled" or waste precious time (Luke 10:25-36). 

Grrrr. After all these years of reflection and saying to God, "I'm yours. Help me to obey. Help me to love you with all my heart," I'm still a sinner, continually washed by God's grace and a once-for-all blood sacrifice.

I am comforted by reading the stories of Abraham (liar, coward, God's chosen) and David (adulterer, murderer, deceiver - pretend-madman, God's chosen). Both kept coming back to say, "Sorry! I'm actually and truly yours, in spite of what I just did. Please help! No other gods before you."

The God who had mercy on them looks on me with pity and compassion, too. "Lord have mercy! Christ have mercy! Lord have mercy!"

I'm praying with the Orthodox church today, after listening to a half hour of genealogies from 1 Chronicles. Oh please - how about some cheerful psalms? Like #150. 

Read more:
The LORD is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy. The LORD is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works. Psalm 145:8-9 NKJV 

Thanks be to God.

People like I am...

(Originally named "People like me" but bad grammar, combined with an assumption of affection, required a revision of title.)

It's easy to get frustrated and judgmental, reading the Old Testament. "C'mon, people!" I want to say to Israel. "I'm getting worn out, hearing your repeated failures, generation after generation. Buck up already and do what is right!"


A leader turns his heart to God, taking the people back from idolatry to true worship. Then his son erects Asherah poles, restores the high ground of the Baals, and builds altars under every spreading tree. The same kings commit murders and assassinations, rape and pillage, reaping wars and famines. The people, who have strayed like sheep after these arrogant and idolatrous idiots, cry out for mercy.


Then God raises up a faithful leader again. The nation reaps prosperity and peace. But the cycle repeats. Obviously, we don't learn good character, morals, and law from history.


Few kings spent a lifetime as worshipers of the One God. Not even Solomon, for all his glorious beginnings, endured to the end. Why doesn't God just roll up the historical archives of the Israelites and Gentiles, wipe out humanity, and start a more obedient creation?


Instead, God repeatedly shows his mercy, forgiveness, and patience. Those inherent qualities of WHO he is color everything he does among us. If we got a fraction of what we deserved, we would not survive his wrath.

My eyes and ears burn as I watch and listen to culture. Most of us live in fantasy. We assume we live with justice, riches, safety, and care for others. We can be especially naive if we grew up in church.


At the same time, we lock our homes and cars against strangers (and friends, at times). Weapons are a "right, "not for hunting food, but for protection against others. We sanitize our hands lest unmentionable diseases infect us. We distrust the overtures of salespeople, and scrutinize offers of neighborly kindness for hidden motives. A quarter of our schoolchildren don't get enough food at home, according to a recent study.


I occasionally play piano at a local hospital, watching people stream by. I listen to snatches of conversations, and catch slivers of many unique stories. It's humbling to recognize that God knows and loves each passerby as much as he knows and loves me and those I care about. He waits for us to turn to him, so his loving, forgiving, and healing arms can embrace us.

I want to grow old with a faithful heart. To show tender mercy and patience to others as God extends it to me, day by day. To recognize that human hearts are desperately wicked, while living joyfully because God - knowing the depths of our condition - lifts us up, signing our pardon on a New Covenant with the blood of Jesus.


When I read the Old Testament, I have to remember it's not just stories about "awful us." The Bible is a showcase for the spectacular. It reminds us that our loving Creator interacts time and again, based on his goodness and infinite love, with all those who are willing to receive his attention. His untiring advances invite us to know and love him in return.


I need grace more than anyone else. So,


"Thanks be to God! Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. Lord have mercy. Thanks be to God!" He is the same, yesterday, today, and forever... even on a day when I'm crabby about another overcast sky, reading the news on the BBC, shuddering at the hardships of followers whose rotten leaders drag them through hell.

Read more:
Who is a God like You, who pardons
Iniquity and passes over the rebellious
Act of the remnant of His possession?
He does not retain His anger forever,
Because He delights in unchanging love.
He will again have compassion on us; He will tread our iniquities under foot. Yes, You will cast all their sins Into the depths of the sea. Micah 7:18-19 NASB