WRAPPING IT UP: Day 4 with my accountability group

A beautiful bedroom view

The sun's frosting the white slopes of Mt. Baker when we wake. Strangely, the best vista is from the downstairs "throne" (the toilet.) The house juts into the junction of Penn Cover and Puget Sound so the ocean views from three sides of the house are spectacular.

Willy scrambles eggs and cooks apple oatmeal. "This is like two complete breakfasts," exclaims Phyllis. We planned the portions a little better this week, unlike a few past retreats that seemed to have as much food coming home as we initially brought.

We used to stay at a house where we spent four hours on the last day washing sheets and towels, scrubbing kitchen and fridge clean, dusting all three stories, and vacuuming. We'd be happily tired on the way home. This house comes with maid service after we leave. We strip the beds, do our dishes, and pack. What a relief.

Patti's glasses. By consensus, "just right" on Patti

Once dishes are done, I clear my inbox and begin to focus on the weekend's assignments. (I usually pack as I get up, so my suitcases are at the door by breakfast.) However, it's 10:50 a.m. by the time everyone comes to the living room, makeup on, clothing just so, and ready to go. They pray over me, one at a time. When the landlady comes at 11, we drag our suitcases to the car and get underway.

Willy is Dutch so she's looking forward to a stop at a Dutch grocer in Coupeville. Patti and Phyllis spot a handbag consignment shop and within 15 minutes, find just the right travel bag. On the way home, lunch at Five Guys Burgers in Everett fills us to the brim. The gals drop me off at home before Willy (driving) chauffeurs the others to their houses.

Miss K and JoNaLu

Before long, our granddaughter Miss K comes downstairs for a visit. Apparently she asked for me a few times while I was away. To our delight, she does a little dance with the German JoNaLu troupe on Youtube.

From my start in my late 30s, through life to where this grandma is today, I'm grateful. As we were wrapping up the week together, our accountability group marveled at God's grace and favor over the past 20 years. He is good. And we are thankful.

Is there something in your life that you're wrapping up? That you wish would carry on? Something new emerging? An ordinary grace that takes on new meaning and significance during times of transitions?

The WPPRs have been the constant voice of Jesus to correct, instruct, and encourage each other. I'll sure miss them as we wrap up life in Seattle for the next season in Indonesia.

LAUGHTER: Day 2 with my accountability group

Who on earth are you? Asian facials

 Oh did we laugh!

We doubled over, shaking with mirth until the tears streamed down our cheeks behind the masks. We'd patted on Asian facial masks last night - and then couldn't stand the sight. We took goofy pictures and made faces at each other, while talking about our relationships with friends and family (between chuckles, of course.)

Laughter has always been part of our journey together. I first met Patti in 1992, when she was nurse for the children's choir camp I'd inherited at the last minute. Our camp manager reneged on his responsibilities, so leadership fell on me two weeks before camp started. We rallied volunteers, packed over 100 kids into busses, and had a fantastic week.

Our wacky friendships

Across the hall from my room was the nurse's station. Patti bandaged hearts and limbs as the children streamed in and out.

On the final night, Patti and I walked across the parking lot to the hall where parental volunteers were putting on a show for the kids. She'd painted a big red cross on a white girdle, perching it on her head as a "nursing cap." Over her thrift-store white tennis skirt, she'd pulled a blue cape. White knee-highs topped her white sneakers. Patti schlepped a little blue suitcase as a pretend medical bag. Honestly, she looked like a nurse from a madhouse.

We laughed so hard that we kept having to stop to cross our legs (first time I ever considered the value of Depends). We howled, and barely made it to the show. Oh, how that memory still makes a smile break out!

Hugs after dinner

Patti and I built a solid friendship over the next year, shrieking with laughter at IKEA in Vancouver, talking about homeschool, and studying scripture. In the autumn of 1993, we called Phyllis, a mutual acquaintance, asking if she'd like to form a group with us. "Is it confidential?" she asked right off the bat. "And why would we meet?"

"Yes," we replied. "Utterly confidential. And we'd meet for spiritual accountability." She was in. Then in January 1994, Wilhelmina joined us and the circle of four was complete.

We have laughed and cried our way through sicknesses and health, family transitions, relationship crises, and financial windfalls and reversals. We've showed up for showers, birthdays, weddings, funerals, and celebrations.

Last evening, I thought my heart would burst with gratitude, even as my belly was shaking, looking at the dear, funny faces of my friends.

The house where we laughed and cried
our way during 12 years of retreats

Who do YOU laugh and cry with? Can you trust them completely? Are you committed to praying for their well-being? Determined to keep their secrets safe, as they keep yours?

It took prayer and hard work to bond as a group. But the years of laughter and joy - as well as many tears - have more than repaid our efforts. We've done some pretty funny things over two decades.

Thanks be to God, who laughs - and cries - with us.

COMFORT: Day 1 with my accountability group

At Hasty Lake road, an old haunt - a final visit

This is the first of four days with my accountability group. We're on our final retreat together before two of us move away in June.

Twenty years ago, God brought us four together to hold each other accountable to pursue a relationship with himself - and each other. What a ride it's been!

Comfort. That's the word that sprang to mind yesterday as we rolled up the driveway to the house perched on a spit outside Penn Cove. This Coupeville rental is surrounded by water on three sides. It's darling - decorated to the hilt with sea treasures and themes.

Why is our group special to each of us?

Leaning in: at the gates
of the house where we stayed for 12 years

The kitchen view, early this morning

Breakfast counsel and conversation

1. We formed to journey together, with strict boundaries of confidentiality. These women know me almost as well as my husband does - and better in some areas than he.
2. We are all married to our original husbands. The oldest has been married 50 years. I'm the youngster with a mere 36 years of marriage.
3. Our ages span 15 years. That means we have a pacesetter to say, "This is what's coming." We observe culture and faith from different perspectives.
4. We are reasonably fit and in good health. Each of us exercises and tries to eat wisely. We are still mobile and active.
5. Our children have matured over 20 years. When we started, our youngest kids were in kindergarten. Now, the oldest are in their late 40s. We spiritual "aunties" have prayed them through their challenges in growing up, health issues, getting married, and having their own children.
6. We are all hospitable. So we've had 20 years of fantastic meals together. At one point, we considered scaling back to minimize preparation as we hosted in our homes. Nope - we couldn't do it and the beautiful table-settings and delicious menus continued.
7. Our group is a priority. The first 15 years we met every 3 weeks, with 2 weekend retreats a year. In recent years, we're all traveling so much that we meet less frequently - and we don't always schedule retreats. But these women are at the heart and soul of every other interaction - we've knocked a few rough edges off each other, cautioned each other when we became unbalanced, and prayed and counseled when we were confused or in transition.

A relaxing lunch overlooking the ocean

I am so grateful - and comfortable - with these women. They've become true friends of the heart over 20 years. For anyone who has no safe group for sharing the joys, triumphs, and traumas of your journey with Jesus, I'd say, take the risk. What could be more helpful than consistent, trusted perspectives and encouragement?

All I can think as I relax with these three proven friends, is, "Thanks be to God for his wonderful gifts! Love you, Patti, Phyllis, and Willy."