Lent day 29: Knowing which way to turn

As we enter the second-last week before Easter, let's consider how God directs us. (This is a repost from 2012.)

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Wouldn't it be nice if life had a GPS? Clear signposts? Or lists? Especially if they pointed to the best possible outcomes. Think about it.

• Age 16: NU ahead. Study harder.
• 21: Job from an interview behind the door on the right.
• 25: Marry. Her. (Him.)
• 30s: Invest in retirement. Have another kid.
• 40s: Best boss is the bald guy.
• 50s: Today is your last chance to ...
• 60s: Invest in your grandchildren's generation.
• 70s: Pray more. Complain less.
• 80s: Heaven on November 30.

Life would be SO much easier! We'd always know when to go straight ahead ... or which way to turn.

It's not that simple, is it? And it's not that boring, either.

Sometimes it seems we have no choices. Other times we are flooded with possibilities. We may have options about whom we marry, any of them a good potential spouse. We guess at the best job offer. Hope we're hauling our stuff across the country to a safer city.

We make the leap. And then we take our chances.

I've had a few milestone moments in my life. What to do after high school? A calling to ministry and missions made my initial college choice easy. Whom to marry? I heard God's direction: "He's the guy praying beside you, on the right." (My response: "Hey, are You sure? His head only comes up to my ear!" Being one year older meant a height difference between W and me in our mid-teens. He caught up in that and many other ways!) Stay in our hometown or move away? W had to finish the degree he'd started: we moved.

I've had a few misses. I worried about a few sure things that didn't come to pass. I lost some opportunities, said too little or too much, and thought I was doing the right thing.

So how do you negotiate a fork in the road?

1. Pray. Trust that whatever the initial interest, potential process, or eventual outcome, God will give you direction.
2. Talk to trusted confidants. Gather pros and cons from your spouse, family who love you, good friends, and outside advisers. Don't talk to everyone: in your inner circle, choose those who know you well enough to have your best interests at heart.
3. Listen for pattens in the feedback you hear. Is it a quick, go for it!? When I took a connecting and creative job designing alumni interactions for a university, everyone said, "Wow! Sounds like a fantastic fit." Or is it a universal, "No way!" When we thought about moving into a dark apartment, my friends rolled their eyes and said, "Don't even think about it! There's not enough light in there for you." (I took the job. Rejected the apartment.) If it's somewhere between, keep listening and praying.
4. Start moving in the direction of a good fit. Explore options. Do background research: have others done this? What have they liked or disliked about it? Is it a completely new arena? Examine how the first steps feel: are you happy or afraid, at peace or in turmoil?
5. Keep going until you find your groove or hit a dead end. If doors keep opening, keep moving forward. If there's an impasse, check if it lies with you or others. Can you move the roadblock? Is the road roped off? If you're at the end and prayers haven't unlocked the door, start again at #1.
6. Be prepared for surprises. You may have stepped onto a wide path, but have to traverse a few narrow trails of adventure between "yes!" and your goal. 
7. Walk in courageous trust. How does God keep the earth spinning when airplanes and ships and cars and bicycles keep us moving from place to place? How does the sun stay in the sky with such enormous solar flares that could knock it out of orbit? How does He order our lives to connect or avoid connections with people, jobs, and experiences instead of us chaotically bumping through life without purpose?

"Everything is harder, more work, and more wonderful than I think it will be when I plan it," says W. I agree.

We should know: we've lived a life of unexpected wonders. We've tried, failed, and succeeded at many things. We've experienced good times as well as struggles. Great joy finds its match in suffering.

Thank God for his counsel. Though we may only glimpse the possibilities ahead, God will give enough direction that we will look back and exclaim on His guiding hand and constant direction.

How do/did you know when it's the "Right Thing?" The gospel of John shows how Jesus steadily followed his Father's leading. Would you consider reading it before Easter this year?

Would you be willing to share some milestone moments from your own life?

Read more:

*He was cut off from the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people. Isaiah 53:8 NLT

*Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his glory? Luke 24:26 NLT

*[Jesus said,] "I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father's commandments and remain in his love. … You didn't choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name." John 15:9–10, 16 NLT

*Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Romans 13:8-10 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Jesus, our Brother, in your suffering we see the extent to which love can go. You invite us to walk the path of servant love with you. We hesitate, but you promise that we will not be alone as we bring your healing love to a hurting world. Amen.

Lent Day 29: Knowing which way to turn

Wouldn't it be nice if life had a GPS? Clear signposts? Or lists? Especially if they pointed to the best possible outcomes. Think about it.

• 16: NU ahead. Study harder.
• 21: Job from an interview behind the door on the right.
• 25: Marry. Her. (Him.)
• 30s: Invest in retirement. Have another kid.
• 40s: Best boss is the bald guy.
• 50s: Today is your last chance to ...
• 60s: Invest in your grandchildren's generation.
• 70s: Pray more. Complain less.
• 80s: Heaven on November 30.

Life would be SO much easier! We'd always know when to go straight ahead ... or which way to turn.

It's not that simple, is it? And it's not that boring, either.

Sometimes it seems we have no choices. Other times we are flooded with possibilities. We may have options about whom we marry, any of them a good potential spouse. We guess at the best job offer. Hope we're hauling our stuff across the country to a safer city.

We make the leap. And then we take our chances.

I've had a few milestone moments in my life. What to do after high school? A calling to ministry and missions made my initial college choice easy. Whom to marry? "The guy praying beside you on the right." ("Hey, are You sure? His head only comes up to my ear!" Being one year older meant a height difference between W and me in our mid-teens. He caught up.) Stay in our hometown or move away? W had to finish the degree he'd started: we moved.

I've had a few misses. I worried about a few sure things that didn't come to pass. I lost some opportunities, said too little or too much, and thought I was doing the right thing.

So how do you negotiate a fork in the road?

1. Pray. Trust that whatever the initial interest, potential process, or eventual outcome, God will give you direction.
2. Talk to trusted confidants. Gather pros and cons from your spouse, family who love you, good friends, and outside advisers. Don't talk to everyone: in your inner circle, choose those who know you well enough to have your best interests at heart.
3. Listen for pattens in the feedback you hear. Is it a quick, go for it!? When I took a connecting and creative job designing alumni interactions for a university, everyone said, "Wow! Sounds like a fantastic fit." Or is it a universal, "No way!" When we thought about moving into a dark apartment, my friends rolled their eyes and said, "Don't even think about it! There's not enough light in there for you." (I took the job. Rejected the apartment.) If it's somewhere between, keep listening and praying.
4. Start moving in the direction of a good fit. Explore options. Do background research: have others done this? What have they liked or disliked about it? Is it a completely new arena? Examine how the first steps feel: are you happy or afraid, at peace or in turmoil?
5. Keep going until you find your groove or hit a dead end. If doors keep opening, keep moving forward. If there's an impasse, check if it lies with you or others. Can you move the roadblock? Is the road roped off? If you're at the end and prayers haven't unlocked the door, start again at #1.
6. Be prepared for surprises. You may have stepped onto a wide path, but have to traverse a few narrow trails of adventure between "yes!" and your goal. 
7. Walk in courageous trust. How does God keep the earth spinning when airplanes and ships and cars and bicycles keep us moving from place to place? How does the sun stay in the sky with such enormous solar flares that could knock it out of orbit? How does He order our lives to connect or avoid connections with people, jobs, and experiences instead of us chaotically bumping through life without purpose?

"Everything is harder, more work, and more wonderful than I think it will be when I plan it," says W. I agree.

We should know: we've lived a life of unexpected wonders. We've tried, failed, and succeeded at many things. We've experienced good times as well as struggles. Great joy finds its match in suffering.

Thank God for his counsel. Though we may only glimpse the possibilities ahead, God will give enough direction that we will look back and exclaim on His guiding hand and constant direction.

How do/did you know when it's the "Right Thing?"
Could you share some milestone moments from your own life?

Read more:

*He was cut off from the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people. Isaiah 53:8 NLT

*Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his glory? Luke 24:26 NLT

*[Jesus said,] "I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father's commandments and remain in his love. … You didn't choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name." John 15:9–10, 16 NLT

*Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Romans 13:8-10 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Jesus, our Brother, in your suffering we see the extent to which love can go. You invite us to walk the path of servant love with you. We hesitate, but you promise that we will not be alone as we bring your healing love to a hurting world. Amen.

Day 26: Thankful for good direction

"I heard you say ... but can you explain how your plan moves you toward that goal?" she asked me.

"Ummmm. I'm not sure it does." = Time to backtrack and rethink.

Jodi Detrich was one of several who have coached my academic and spiritual direction in the past few years. Tillie Porter sent daily verses for meditation. Such spiritual directors pinpoint strengths and weaknesses, how things fit together as we are growing in faith. They nudge (and sometimes push) us forward.

Mentors and friends like Jim and Jeannie Lowell, Joy Qualls, and Barbara Houger, who had completed doctorates, encouraged me to keep going:

• "This experience is part of the academic process. Don't be discouraged."
• "We also felt overwhelmed and muddled in the beginning. Things become clearer. Keep moving."
• "Don't give up. Find out what the committee wants and write to that."
• And one that I really appreciated: "The goal is not perfection but finished."

Along the way, my life mandate has become clearer. I've had many opportunities to connect people to relationships and resources.

I will write. I will teach. And whatever the next job is––should there be one––though the job description may include exchanging facts and information, it must include helping others to find the answer to these questions:

• "What has God called you to do?
• "Who are you willing to be––and what are you willing to do––to fulfill that calling?" 

 Then,

• "How can we get you there?"
• "What barriers can we remove?"
• "Who do we know who could help? inform? make a path for you to get there?" (BTW: Alumni, ministers, and missionary cohorts are awesome circles of connections. My warmest thanks to alums and fellow students for everyone you've boosted when I sent them your way!)

I love to encourage others to move past fear, worldview barriers, and self-limitations to embrace their calling. It thrills me to watch someone plunge with all their might into the future while living fully in the day. I can hardly breathe for joy when I see others find the balance of worship, work, and play, no matter what their career path holds. After all, the point of life is not outward riches but the inner wealth of a life in harmony with its design and the Designer.

Thanks especially to those who continue to help me find the path God has marked out for me. The question came up yesterday three times, "Now what? What are you going to do with this degree?"

My answer?
Don't know.
Not worried.
Looking forward to it.

Life is good because God is great.

Read more:

*As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him. For who is God, except the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? The Lord lives! Blessed be my Rock! Let the God of my salvation be exalted. Psalm 18:30-31, 46 NKJV

*May your eyes be open toward this temple night and day, this place of which you said, "My name shall be there." 1 Kings 8:29

*Jesus said, "Do not make my Father's house a house of merchandise!" John 2:16 (NKJV)

Moravian Prayer: We give thanks, O God, for the church that has nurtured us, helped us to grow in faith, supported us with its love and accepted us when we are rejected by others. The church has been your hands and your heart to us and has accepted us with all our hypocrisies, doubts, and fears. Amen.

Squinting through the details

"What would I do without Mom?" I keep thinking. My fridge is clean, the indoor plants are trimmed, and the conservatory sparkles. W's gone to a computer convention, so my mother came to help for the week.

By the time we have our morning walk and a light breakfast, it's 10am. It takes me a while to settle into studies. Sometimes my brain doesn't cooperate for an hour after I plunk myself on the office chair. The dogs keep me from freezing to the seat during the day: they want to get up every hour or two, which helps move me from the spot.

I skipped my walk this morning, though Mom has taken her walking sticks and headed out the door. It's 10am. Kirsten had a rough night: the memory foam mattress grabbed her, sank her into its trough, and held her until her neck and back seized up. Mom and I wrestled the padding, mattress, egg crate foam, and sheets off the base of the bed.

Up. Down. Up. Down. Kirsten tries out our experiments for comfort. A 5" thick, firm foam pad from atop the entry closet seems to be the ticket. Covered with an IKEA (folding bed) foam mattress, a doubled feather quilt, and bedding (with a medium-sized towel folded "just so" at the crease in the IKEA mattress), and a just-the-right-height-folded-body-pillow to extend the foot end, Kirsten is resting. "I hate feeling like the Princess and the Pea," she sighs and tries to get a snooze to make up for a sleepless night. "What Prince could want such a person?" We laugh and remind her that the prince of the fairytale actually sought out his princess.

It's a big day: Kirsten plans to go out for lunch and shopping with her s-i-l Melissa. The wheelchair's ready to glide down the ramp, built from the door to the ground (yay, W!) The women will take our SUV, and if her morning nap helps, K will have a fine day out. Grandma asked to watch Kinsey.Oh, that child is in for a treat!

Between all the chaos and changes in the household, I sent off a tutorial last night and am almost done with an article this morning. I'm planning to pack up and head for the library when Mom returns from her walk. "Focus, just focus," I remind myself. (Yeah, and while you do that, remember the girls will have the car. You're not going anywhere.)

This morning's turmoil proves again how life is neither straightforward nor neat. Though the goal may be clear, the journey defies definition.

God's Word is a light on our path, says Psalm 119. However, it's a torch for the next place to plant our feet on a steep hill climb, not a searchlight on a broad flat road. How does scripture inform your steps today?

Read more:

*“Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:6-9 NIV

* Psalm 9:1-10; Genesis 12:10-13:18; Matthew 5:27-42

*The Lord said to Gideon, "Peace be to you; do not fear, you shall not die." Then Gideon built an altar there to the Lord, and called it, The Lord is peace. Judges 6:23-24

*Christ says, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 (NIV)

Moravian Prayer: Faithful God, we depend on your promises. When we open our eyes in the morning, we look for you throughout the day. When we close our eyes in the evening, we trust in you while we sleep. Amen.

The sacred gamble

God decided we were worth the risk.

That's my conclusion, reading the story of Aaron's robe. When he went in to meet God, he took the stones "used to determine God's will" in pockets centered over his heart. It comforts me to know God chose to place the tools for decisions close to the heart, rather than another body part like the elbow or back of the ankle.

If I were trying to communicate, I don't know that I'd use the toss of a few stones to make my intentions clear. But that was what Aaron and his family did: they rolled the dice, so to speak. The early church did the same, choosing someone to replace Judas after he betrayed Jesus and hanged himself.

W and I have "rolled the dice" a few times in the past, using our best guess and fervent prayers. Kirsten's care was one of the puzzles for our family when Kirsten was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis at age 15. We tried all kinds of alternative treatments and medicines (at one point the poor kid was choking down 54 supplements a day). My folks took care of the bills, telling us to pursue every option. We did - and it cost them tens of thousands. For what?

After a year, of "you should be almost cured" (Dr's and therapists' words), K was admitted to Children's in Seattle. Her hip was replaced because the disease had stolen her cartilage and her hip bones were scraping. Yes, she was in incredible pain.

W and I cried buckets of tears, asking if God had seemingly given us false direction. Every time we had been on the verge of taking her for traditional treatments, some nurse or friend cured of arthritis or doctor would warn us of the side effects of RA drugs and propose a less harmful treatment. We asked God for direction, rolled the dice, and did our best. Ouch.

We're no wiser than before about that year's delay. Could the JRA have been arrested? We watch her go through the hellish surgeries and arthritis complications. This is the first time I haven't sat by her bedside during recovery. (Thanks hon, for picking that up this time - I'm writing, reading, researching trying to get the dissertation beast caged and sent away.) 

Each time I wonder if I'm going mad. What is God doing? Why does he who promises to visit with healing in his wings and the balm of Gilead stand and watch her suffer? 

I have no answers.

But I sew those little stones into my apron, take a gamble that God has a plan, and enter the holy place to ask for direction. 

I'm a holy roller because I know God is good. He took the chance that we would seek him and come into relationship with him. In fact, he thought we were worth coming to earth, living and dying among us to reconcile us to himself.

What unknowns does the day hold for you?


Read more:

*"'In this way, Aaron will carry the names of the tribes of Israel on the sacred chestpiece over his heart when he goes into the Holy Place. This will be a continual reminder that he represents the people when he comes before the LORD. Insert the Urim and Thummim into the sacred chestpiece so they will be carried over Aaron's heart when he goes into the LORD's presence. In this way, Aaron will always carry over his heart the objects used to determine the LORD's will for his people whenever he goes in before the LORD.'" Exodus 28:29–30 NLT

*For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6 KJV 

*So they nominated two men: Joseph called Barsabbas (also known as Justus) and Matthias. Then they prayed, “Lord, you know everyone’s heart. Show us which of these two you have chosen to take over this apostolic ministry, which Judas left to go where he belongs.” Then they cast lots, and the lot fell to Matthias; so he was added to the eleven apostles. Acts 1:23-26 NIV