A New Year and new expectations

Indonesian moth: ah, the adventures ahead!

How do you approach each new year? Some possibilities:

• Ignore it. "It's an artificial marker, created by other people."
• Celebrate it. "It's a new beginning. I'm glad I get another year."
• Reflect on it. "What was good last year? What could be improved in the new year?"
• Resent it. "Nothing has changed. I don't like where I am and what I do."
• Resolve for it. "This year will be different! I want to accomplish my goals."

However you approach the coming year, I hope you're hopeful, filled to the brim with God's joy and lovingkindness. Here are some ideas to help us make the most of it:

The past and the future: granddaughter
K plays with my childhood "Johnny-doll"

1. Have realistic expectations. If we didn't live a perfect year last time around, we probably will have some challenges this year, too. Life happens. Good and bad. Interesting and boring. Full of highs and lows. Thrilling and depressing.
       I'm glad nothing takes God by surprise, even when we feel blind-sided.
2. Focus on important things. Let's align our dreams with lasting values. Relationships with God and others - expressed in time, energy, work, and play - will shape everything else.
       A great tip is to choose a word that expresses the focus of the coming year. Mine is "gratitude," as we set the past aside for new adventures ahead. What's yours?
3. Set achievable goals. It's great to aim high, but we're living within our personalities, relationships, and environments. How can we become more fully human, the best person we can be where we are (or where we should be)?
4. Be willing to work steadily, in small increments. Very few things get done in one-time big wins. What can we do today, tomorrow, this week, or this month?
5. Invest ourselves. Let's use our talents, skills, and resources for things that matter. Remember that income is an exchange for life-hours at work. Let's spend our money (i.e. our life) deliberately, not carelessly this year.
6. Evaluate our progress. Let's set aside regular quiet times to ask, "Are we becoming more loving? More friendly? More giving? More reliable?"
       Goals should be measurable: how will we know that we are moving in the right direction? That we have reached our target?
7. Expect the unexpected. Let's rely on God for daily routines as well as un/pleasant surprises. Who knows what is coming our way?
       Leaning on the God-of-the-impossible, we we will have everything we need to do what He's set out for us in the coming year.
8. Be happy. Let's remember to be grateful for blessings. When challenges come, let's thank God for good years and great experiences of the past. Things could be worse. There's always something to be thankful for - let's find those and focus on those this year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR. Blessings and peace to you from God the Father and from our Lord Jesus Christ.

Read more:

*As one from whom others hide their faces, he was despised, and we held him of no account. Isaiah 53:3 ESV

*He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8 NEV

*For God, who said, "Light shall shine out of darkness," is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:6 NASB

Moravian Prayer: Father God, your light is brighter than the sun. It is so powerful that wherever we are, our path is lit and our fear of the dark is no more. Continue to light our way throughout our lives. Glory be to you. Amen.

"We have at least a few options..."

"We can do this a few ways," I say to my husband and son. They're manhandling a 100 lb. coffee table into the house. Where to store it? It could go here ... or there. Well, maybe not there. A Coach store display table in white lacquer, it's commercially sized at 30"X72". I like it!

The new space is evolving in my head, funded by things we've sold. Right away, I can see that the table rules out our cream sofa slipcovers. (No biggie. Add those covers to the sale pile. Our other colors will look great.)

When I encounter a problem or an opportunity, my instincts leap forward to possible solutions. The desired outcome may have been loosely or tightly framed. However, the journey toward it and even the goal continues to evolve until we're done. I've found that the sum of the parts is often more than predicted! (And it's nearly always different than expected, unless we're willing to fight for exact outcomes.)

The perch for our
greenhouse, as it was
disassembled (BEFORE)

The new backyard ramp
(AFTER)

An example? I've visualized our backyard as a broad patio area, landscaped with planters, a greenhouse, and outdoor seating. The space remained an untamed buffer on the border of the forest, the greenhouse an outpost in an unruly green sea. W or the boys weed-whacked occasionally to keep the foliage from overrunning the house. Our sons beat back encroaching blackberries and reeds every spring.

Goodbye, chaises!

Yesterday, the fellows who brought in gravel and sloped the yard for accessibility redefined the space. We won't be here long and it's functional. Forget the planters, pavers, and evenings on the edge of the forest! We sold our chaises last night.

W has a few more loads of wood and basement leftovers to take to the dump, which will improve the view. We gained an extra parking space at the end of the driveway. W's happy about it; I'm shedding my ideals and getting ready to move away.

Outside, lightning is flashing. Thunder rolls in through the screen door. The rain taps the skylight and saturates the deck. It's a new day, with time to pack up a few more boxes, meet with peers in ministry, and ask God for favor in bringing buyers for what we no longer need. I'll maybe even get in a walk with my granddaughter. Sip a few cups of tea between everything.

C. S. Lewis made an interesting observation about times of discomfort and transition:

The Christian doctrine of suffering explains, I believe, a very curious fact about the world we live in. The settled happiness and security which we all desire, God withholds from us by the very nature of the world: but joy, pleasure, and merriment, He has scattered broadcast. We are never safe, but we have plenty of fun, and some ecstasy.

It is not hard to see why. The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and pose an obstacle to our return to God: a few moments of happy love, a landscape, a symphony, a merry meeting with our friends, a bathe or a football match, have no such tendency. Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home.

From The Problem of Pain

Read more:

*Lead me in your truth, and teach me. Psalm 25:5 NLT

*Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go. Isaiah 48:17 ESV

*Jesus says, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. ... Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:6, 27

Moravian Prayer: Our Guide and Sustainer, you are the beginning, the end, and everything in between. You are the perfect mentor, the perfect companion, and the perfect counselor. Help us always to rely on your wisdom. Amen.

Lent Day 29: Knowing which way to turn

Wouldn't it be nice if life had a GPS? Clear signposts? Or lists? Especially if they pointed to the best possible outcomes. Think about it.

• 16: NU ahead. Study harder.
• 21: Job from an interview behind the door on the right.
• 25: Marry. Her. (Him.)
• 30s: Invest in retirement. Have another kid.
• 40s: Best boss is the bald guy.
• 50s: Today is your last chance to ...
• 60s: Invest in your grandchildren's generation.
• 70s: Pray more. Complain less.
• 80s: Heaven on November 30.

Life would be SO much easier! We'd always know when to go straight ahead ... or which way to turn.

It's not that simple, is it? And it's not that boring, either.

Sometimes it seems we have no choices. Other times we are flooded with possibilities. We may have options about whom we marry, any of them a good potential spouse. We guess at the best job offer. Hope we're hauling our stuff across the country to a safer city.

We make the leap. And then we take our chances.

I've had a few milestone moments in my life. What to do after high school? A calling to ministry and missions made my initial college choice easy. Whom to marry? "The guy praying beside you on the right." ("Hey, are You sure? His head only comes up to my ear!" Being one year older meant a height difference between W and me in our mid-teens. He caught up.) Stay in our hometown or move away? W had to finish the degree he'd started: we moved.

I've had a few misses. I worried about a few sure things that didn't come to pass. I lost some opportunities, said too little or too much, and thought I was doing the right thing.

So how do you negotiate a fork in the road?

1. Pray. Trust that whatever the initial interest, potential process, or eventual outcome, God will give you direction.
2. Talk to trusted confidants. Gather pros and cons from your spouse, family who love you, good friends, and outside advisers. Don't talk to everyone: in your inner circle, choose those who know you well enough to have your best interests at heart.
3. Listen for pattens in the feedback you hear. Is it a quick, go for it!? When I took a connecting and creative job designing alumni interactions for a university, everyone said, "Wow! Sounds like a fantastic fit." Or is it a universal, "No way!" When we thought about moving into a dark apartment, my friends rolled their eyes and said, "Don't even think about it! There's not enough light in there for you." (I took the job. Rejected the apartment.) If it's somewhere between, keep listening and praying.
4. Start moving in the direction of a good fit. Explore options. Do background research: have others done this? What have they liked or disliked about it? Is it a completely new arena? Examine how the first steps feel: are you happy or afraid, at peace or in turmoil?
5. Keep going until you find your groove or hit a dead end. If doors keep opening, keep moving forward. If there's an impasse, check if it lies with you or others. Can you move the roadblock? Is the road roped off? If you're at the end and prayers haven't unlocked the door, start again at #1.
6. Be prepared for surprises. You may have stepped onto a wide path, but have to traverse a few narrow trails of adventure between "yes!" and your goal. 
7. Walk in courageous trust. How does God keep the earth spinning when airplanes and ships and cars and bicycles keep us moving from place to place? How does the sun stay in the sky with such enormous solar flares that could knock it out of orbit? How does He order our lives to connect or avoid connections with people, jobs, and experiences instead of us chaotically bumping through life without purpose?

"Everything is harder, more work, and more wonderful than I think it will be when I plan it," says W. I agree.

We should know: we've lived a life of unexpected wonders. We've tried, failed, and succeeded at many things. We've experienced good times as well as struggles. Great joy finds its match in suffering.

Thank God for his counsel. Though we may only glimpse the possibilities ahead, God will give enough direction that we will look back and exclaim on His guiding hand and constant direction.

How do/did you know when it's the "Right Thing?"
Could you share some milestone moments from your own life?

Read more:

*He was cut off from the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people. Isaiah 53:8 NLT

*Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his glory? Luke 24:26 NLT

*[Jesus said,] "I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father's commandments and remain in his love. … You didn't choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name." John 15:9–10, 16 NLT

*Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Romans 13:8-10 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Jesus, our Brother, in your suffering we see the extent to which love can go. You invite us to walk the path of servant love with you. We hesitate, but you promise that we will not be alone as we bring your healing love to a hurting world. Amen.

Lent Day 14: Life on pause, temporarily

The same questions: "So what are you doing? You looking for work?" I've heard it dozens of times this sabbatical year. I'm always at a loss for an answer.

The last waiting season, I was in England while W finished his PhD. I took art lessons, toured Cambridge weekly with a fabulous (and free) blue guide, wrote, and rested. I'm similarly engaged this time around, compounded by work with/for other people. Last week I edited 4 articles for others. This week I helped 2 speakers pull together public talks. I've met with 6 people (but it's only Thursday morning.) This pause is productive: I'm helping others though it feels like my career and interests are paused. I bought an art notebook. I've written blogs, my Lenten discipline.

Real Simple Daily Thought here.

Friends remind me, "Don't worry. Remember the great fit that found you after the last sabbatical?" I do remember! Work that was pure pleasure, morning by morning. I couldn't wait to get there every day.

I'm not worried. I've begun to feel energy rising for the next thing. I'm not quite ready to apply for the jobs I've seen posted. The right thing hasn't come along.

Meanwhile, I'm happy. Very busy. Occasionally I feel a bit impatient, anticipating the new things ahead. (So I'm almost open, should you hear of work that's a good fit for a writer, speaker, editor, and connector. Smiles.)

Most of us will experience "seasons between." Jesus never seemed hurried or anxious about the future. He didn't rush toward the culmination of his life, that ugly cross and beautiful resurrection. He spent each day as it came, intentional about pleasing his Heavenly Father from morning to night. Why do we feel harried, rather than living one day at a time?

How can we value these pauses, when the next thing is not yet apparent?

1. Be grateful. How many people have time to reflect and choose their hours in Western society? Are most of your friends running on fumes? Thank God for the respite. He hasn't forgotten you. Maybe He's healing something inside you. Is He building something new, something not yet apparent?
2. Be prayerful. Seek God's face on these quiet days. On days when you're hunting for work. On days when you catch up on chores. On days when you have no to-do list.
3. Be intentional. Examine yourself to plan your trajectory, going forward. WHAT ARE: Your strengths. Your loves. What fills you with joy. How you best work (with others? alone?) The things in the past that made you laugh out loud. The skills you have developed over years of work and play.
4. Be mindful. How can you help those who are exhausted? My husband has the opposite schedule: every minute full, teaching, speaking, researching. I try not to load him with my ideas. How can you lighten the load for those around you? (Husbands, hint hint - how about picking up some cooking and cleaning stints for that exhausted wife? Dads, how about getting up at night to soothe the baby? Mom's actually WORKING during the day, too! Employers, relieve the burden of underlings. Coworkers, pick up a task for peers when you have a slow day?)
5. Be willing. Do what you need to do to bring in survival income. Volunteer. Help out in church and the community. Maybe the person volunteering beside you will be the link to your next opportunity.
6. Be alert. Look for opportunities coming your way. We are designed to work and enjoy it. What is on the horizon that will use your gifts, education, and experience?

Read more:

*The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him. Exodus 15:2 NIV

*And David became more and more powerful, because the LORD of Heaven's Armies was with him. 1 Chronicles 11:9 NLT

*The light of the moon will be like the light of the sun, and the light of the sun will be sevenfold on the day when the Lord binds up the injuries of his people, and heals the wounds. Isaiah 30:26 NLT

*We want each one of you to show the same diligence so as to realize the full assurance of hope to the very end. Hebrews 6:11 NLT

Moravian Prayer: Giver of light and hope, keep your children safe as we wait for the promised day of healing. May we faithfully do your will, eagerly anticipating that day when all earth will rejoice in your presence. Amen.

Cured?

Almost there

It's the final day of the Apartment Therapy January Cure. I'm looking back on a month of riding twin rails: cleaning out used spaces and shedding things no longer used. In the middle of the tracks, I laid a month-long commitment to purchase nothing I don't eat or use up. The month shaped up as fun and worth the effort.

• Today someone came to buy our unused Robomower. I had hopes of a nicely cut lawn at the back when I bought it 10 years ago. My husband still weed-whacks the wild area bordering the forest two or three times a year. Goodbye mower! (and lawn idea)
• Someone picked up sewing supplies and asked for more. Their homeschool coop teaches students to sew. (Look, Mom! We're found a home for the stuff we'll clear from your sewing room!)
• A CL-er is coming for the K-NEX boxes our boys outgrew 2 decades ago.
• We donated bags of clothing, books, and unused household goods ... three times since New Year's Day.
• We Freecycled at least one item each day in January.
• Our adult kids claimed some family treasures we no longer use.
• I bundled up collectables ("Just the Right Shoe" and Hummels) for resale. The British teapots are next.

A focused being that knows its purpose

So, am I cured? Nope, but I feel like I've ripped off a bandage of storing things I'll never use. I am beginning to heal. Internally, I feel more space for considering new directions of work and play.

Lessons I've learned about tackling excess? How we can reevaluate our life and spaces?

1. Notice what you have. One minimalist challenged me to name every item in a room and say aloud what its purpose was. "No utility? No beauty? Not adding value to our lives? OUT!" I'm not quite there but I'm looking around. 
2. Be grateful for every opportunity represented in the stuff. Just don't feel obligated to be everything and do everything you thought you could or should when you brought it home!
3. Imagine the life you're called to and designed for. Go outside your room (office / house / garage, etc.), take some deep breaths, and maybe go for a walk. Dream about the life you'd ideally be living. Then walk back in your door as a "stranger." Ask, "What parts of my collected life reflects the life I want to live?"
4. Take out everything and refocus. Remove the contents of a box, a closet, a desktop, a room. Put back only things you really like or need. Trash, repurpose, or rehome the rest.



Focus, through a doorway
at Cambridge

5. Rejoice. With each decluttering accomplishment, enjoy the space, energy, and the time you've gained. (You'll need less energy and time for maintenance, cleaning, or rooting through piles of stuff.) Keep looking for ways to pare down. Follow through on giving away stuff ... without regrets. If one day you need that 10th extension cord, borrow one from your neighbor or run to the shop on the corner.

Quoted in Real Simple Magazine

This process works for life as well as spaces: notice with gratitude where you are. Pray for direction and focus.

Serve well. Many routines are imposed at work and home. Beyond that, schedule only things that align with your calling and strengthen your relationships.

Let the rest go. We know that you're not superhuman, but we'd love to see you less frazzled!

Read more:
*It is the Lord; let him do what seems good to him. 1 Samuel 3:18

*And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? If then you are not able to do so small a thing as that, why do you worry about the rest? Luke 12:25-2 

*Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!

“Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?” For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen. Romans 11:33-36 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Lord, you promised never to leave us nor forsake us. Forgive us when we become anxious about life’s issues. You know what is best for us; please strengthen our faith and trust in you. In Jesus’ name. Amen 

Bragging rights

Achieving a goal brings a mixed bag of responses. Sometimes the feedback is hard to negotiate. Here are few my friends and I have have encountered in the past decade:

1. Sincere congratulations. Your friend is happy for you. A coworker or colleague (who understands the cost of reaching the goal) gives you a heads up. Cool. Say "Thank you!" and invite them to the celebration.
2. Wise-cracking asides. Your friend jokes about your accomplishment. Negotiating this is harder. Are they wondering how to say, "We're proud of you," or envying your success? A shrug, smile, and "Thanks," works if you're not fast with a humorous comeback.
3. Name-calling. This takes various forms, from the sincerely congratulatory to the snide put-down to wondering if you've changed and become an arrogant poop. I've heard many versions of "Hey, doctor!" since finishing my degree. I occasionally find this one hard to respond to (especially outside of academic circles.) Yes, I'm glad I finished. I've earned the right to the title. But it can't and won't define all the other parts of me. Usually I say thanks and move to a topic more interesting to the group.
4. Envious comments. "Wish I could do that but I'm too old (fat/tired/broke, etc.)," or "I'd never get that far," or "If only I had ... I could also ..." As a motivator and mentor, I think to myself, "Don't compare yourself, but do your own thing. If you don't move toward what you love, you'll be stuck here in 10 or 20 years."
5. Judging remarks. A few will judge your attitude based on their character. "She thinks she's better now," or "Don't let it go to your head," or "He probably doesn't want to hang around with us anymore." Some people need reassurance that you still think they're important. Others feel put down and left behind. My response is this: if they don't want me alongside, I don't push it. Walk away.
6. Silence. When someone is publicly acknowledged, published, or praised, those aspiring to fame say nothing. Plus, not everyone likes you.

"Little-hearts" or "hate-you" bystanders rarely say, "Job well done" or "Congratulations." They pretend you never received the honor. They refuse to promote you when openings or resources become available.

Be big about such slights. Withholding a "well done" hides a stingy spirit and sometimes self-absorption or a prideful "humility." Don't expect acknowledgement.

In contrast, you and I may choose to show up and to do better. Let's note when others do well and be connectors and encouragers. Every effort and every accomplishment happens because of God's love and power at work -- opening doors, giving strength, or clearing a path. Underlying our personal praise for others lies the recognition of God's glory. He is pleased to dwell among us.

When you set out for a goal, look for those who will cheer you -- and sometimes drag you -- across the finish line. When you're done, celebrate with them. They'll be happy for you and tell how proud they are of you to anyone who will listen.


Above all, listen closely to see how you're aligned with God's plans. Won't it be amazing to hear him brag about us some day? To hear him say, "Let me introduce My servant and My child. Look at what we accomplished together!"

Read more:
 *I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; before the “gods” I will sing your praise. I will bow down toward your holy temple and will praise your name for your love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word. When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted. Psalm 138:1-3 NIV

*This is what the Lord says: “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord. Jeremiah 9:23-24 NIV

*But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:4-10 NIV