Lent Day 14: Life on pause, temporarily

The same questions: "So what are you doing? You looking for work?" I've heard it dozens of times this sabbatical year. I'm always at a loss for an answer.

The last waiting season, I was in England while W finished his PhD. I took art lessons, toured Cambridge weekly with a fabulous (and free) blue guide, wrote, and rested. I'm similarly engaged this time around, compounded by work with/for other people. Last week I edited 4 articles for others. This week I helped 2 speakers pull together public talks. I've met with 6 people (but it's only Thursday morning.) This pause is productive: I'm helping others though it feels like my career and interests are paused. I bought an art notebook. I've written blogs, my Lenten discipline.

Real Simple Daily Thought here.

Friends remind me, "Don't worry. Remember the great fit that found you after the last sabbatical?" I do remember! Work that was pure pleasure, morning by morning. I couldn't wait to get there every day.

I'm not worried. I've begun to feel energy rising for the next thing. I'm not quite ready to apply for the jobs I've seen posted. The right thing hasn't come along.

Meanwhile, I'm happy. Very busy. Occasionally I feel a bit impatient, anticipating the new things ahead. (So I'm almost open, should you hear of work that's a good fit for a writer, speaker, editor, and connector. Smiles.)

Most of us will experience "seasons between." Jesus never seemed hurried or anxious about the future. He didn't rush toward the culmination of his life, that ugly cross and beautiful resurrection. He spent each day as it came, intentional about pleasing his Heavenly Father from morning to night. Why do we feel harried, rather than living one day at a time?

How can we value these pauses, when the next thing is not yet apparent?

1. Be grateful. How many people have time to reflect and choose their hours in Western society? Are most of your friends running on fumes? Thank God for the respite. He hasn't forgotten you. Maybe He's healing something inside you. Is He building something new, something not yet apparent?
2. Be prayerful. Seek God's face on these quiet days. On days when you're hunting for work. On days when you catch up on chores. On days when you have no to-do list.
3. Be intentional. Examine yourself to plan your trajectory, going forward. WHAT ARE: Your strengths. Your loves. What fills you with joy. How you best work (with others? alone?) The things in the past that made you laugh out loud. The skills you have developed over years of work and play.
4. Be mindful. How can you help those who are exhausted? My husband has the opposite schedule: every minute full, teaching, speaking, researching. I try not to load him with my ideas. How can you lighten the load for those around you? (Husbands, hint hint - how about picking up some cooking and cleaning stints for that exhausted wife? Dads, how about getting up at night to soothe the baby? Mom's actually WORKING during the day, too! Employers, relieve the burden of underlings. Coworkers, pick up a task for peers when you have a slow day?)
5. Be willing. Do what you need to do to bring in survival income. Volunteer. Help out in church and the community. Maybe the person volunteering beside you will be the link to your next opportunity.
6. Be alert. Look for opportunities coming your way. We are designed to work and enjoy it. What is on the horizon that will use your gifts, education, and experience?

Read more:

*The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him. Exodus 15:2 NIV

*And David became more and more powerful, because the LORD of Heaven's Armies was with him. 1 Chronicles 11:9 NLT

*The light of the moon will be like the light of the sun, and the light of the sun will be sevenfold on the day when the Lord binds up the injuries of his people, and heals the wounds. Isaiah 30:26 NLT

*We want each one of you to show the same diligence so as to realize the full assurance of hope to the very end. Hebrews 6:11 NLT

Moravian Prayer: Giver of light and hope, keep your children safe as we wait for the promised day of healing. May we faithfully do your will, eagerly anticipating that day when all earth will rejoice in your presence. Amen.

Making resolutions?

T'is the last day of 2012. Time to look back through the journal to see what progress or what weaknesses lie exposed. Do you review the year as I do?

I started the year exhausted, working 10-14 hours, 6 days a week, on my dissertation. Once that was done, I partied. I've never celebrated as joyfully as this year - the dragon was slain, the un-doable done.

Then I rested. My journal shows a lack of momentum for months afterwards. I was so mentally drained that it was hard to focus. So I did very little. I puttered. I played piano. I painted a bit. I read a lot of nonsense and light fiction. I watched Korean dramas and followed Spy and Arrow on Hulu+

In November things started to heat up again. "Take up your bed and walk already!" was the message I heard during devotions. I started Monvee (from "mon vie," a spiritual discipleship program hosted by our church) and began to read enriching books. Someone added me as their accountability partner and a friend coached me through some sessions of a "Get Unstuck Bootcamp." (Click here for the website.) I added some exercise classes.

And suddenly I was in motion again. Thank God!

My 2013 resolutions are intended to foster spiritual life, better physical health, strong relationships, and mental vigor. Real Simple says we need 4 tips to keep our resolutions (click here for the full article):
1. be specific
2. make goals public
3. substitute "good" behaviors for "bad"
4. keep track

I don't have any earthshaking goals. It seems that keeping the ones I always choose is hard work enough:

• read more scripture
• pray and wait in expectation
• be more grateful
• read and write
• do art
• be hospitable
• and work hard at whatever is at hand

What is your most desired resolution for 2013? Why?

Read more:
*Some wandered in the wilderness lost and homeless. Hungry and thirsty, they nearly died. 'LORD, help!' they cried in their trouble, and he rescued them from their distress. He led them straight to safety, to a city where they could live.

Let them praise the LORD for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them. For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things" Psalm 107:4–9

*My eyes fail with watching for your promise; I ask, “When will you comfort me?” Psalm 119:82

*Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Proverbs 3:27

*Be doers of the word, and not merely hearers who deceive themselves. James 1:22  

*May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and through grace gave us eternal comfort and good hope, comfort your hearts. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

Moravian Prayer: God of endings and beginnings, may we bring glory tonight as we close this year and begin another. May our faith in your promise remain strong as you breathe your spirit upon us.

Gracious and giving Savior, forgive us when we withhold our power. Forgive us when we act on the behalf of a brother or a sister. Let us be fed by worship this day and go out to be your hands and feet. Amen.

In the morning, when I rise ...

What's on your mind, first thing when you wake up? Do you wake refreshed and raring to go? Are you sloughing off dreams? Grateful the insomnia of night is past? Full of new ideas and plans?

I read today about things some people do in their sleep: eating, texting, and walking around, to name a few. In the morning, they have no memory of what they've done. The kitchen is littered with wrappers, their friends are texting back ??? , doors are unlocked, and there's mud on their shoes.

People with music in their heads find themselves waking night and day with tunes and rhythms. I improvise, focus in on a looping song, or conduct with my feet. On mornings after I've been attentive to God, I wake with hymns or choruses scrolling. Most of the time I'm not even zoned in to the music: it's just there. I tune in some mornings to find out how the night went by.

Studies show that women sleep more lightly than men and have more trouble falling back asleep. Meanwhile, men are noisier and more physically active during sleep. Great - he moves and she wakes up. That's the reason many couples begin to sleep in separate beds or rooms. (Separate duvets in the same bed in the same room works for us most of the time!)

So .... how do you improve your sleep and your waking mood? Begin to keep track of how you wake and what influences your sleep. Then work on minimizing sleep deprivation:

1. Watch your physical intake. Chich foods, drinks, and eating patterns support deep and long sleep?
2. Watch your mental intake. Sleep studies say that the blue screen light of electronics hinders sleep. Ban the TV, phone, or tablet from your sleeping area. And shut off the computer an hour before bedtime to let your mind relax.
3. Watch your spiritual intake. Are you feasting on scripture as your last act of the day? Closing your eyes with a prayer of gratitude for God's presence and provisions? Or do you agitate your soul with unforgiveness, grinding through decisions made that day, or worrying about the future?
4. Thank God for the night. He created humans with a pause to regenerate our bodies, souls, and spirits. Receiving the hours of sleep from His hands allows us to rest and renew ourselves in Him.

King David understood the rest only God could give, even when his enemies were in hot pursuit: "In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety." (Psalm 4:8)

His son Solomon wrote of the futility of efforts without God's help: "Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves." (Psalm 127:1, 2)

To summarize the believer's life of rest and assurance, read Psalm 121:

¹ I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

⁷ The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
⁸ the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

I wish you sweet dreams. And wise and rested risings in the morning!

 

Lent Day 27: Thankful for recovery sabbaths

"Do you ever rest?" my sis asks me. The simple answer is yes. Deeply, deliberately, and defensively.

After each big event (whether that's been hosting big events, watching my grandbaby born, or defending my dissertation), I shut down production and ignore work for a mini-sabbatical.

Instead of hitting the trail, I putter. After a day of exhausting stress Tuesday, I read the Bible, baked bread (easy method below), walked the dogs, napped, and incorporated the celebration leftovers of kale and cauliflower into a ramen supper Wednesday. Nothing I did had a measurable impact - except in recovery.

My mom remembers a neighbor commenting on my teen energy, "Sie hat sieben Ziegen an einem Schwanß" (She has 7 goats by the tale). I've left such unflagging enthusiasm behind, obviously.

The secret of clear thinking, sound decision-making, and good work lies in seasons of meditation and rest. World religions focus their meditations on achieving "nothingness" and emptying the mind. In contrast, Christ calls us to revive our souls from emptiness by filling up with his abundance.

It takes solitude and quiet to hear the voice of the Shepherd. When stress, grief, or change unbalance our focus on God, we need to draw into silence and renew our strength in God's presence. It took me two days of drawing away from studies to refocus. I could have panicked about the deadlines looming, but my body and soul needed to step away.

I took a walk in the sunshine and had a healthy breakfast this morning. Now I'm ready to tackle dissertation revisions. On the clock, I'm two days behind. Yet, while the deadline hasn't changed, my heart is happy and excited to do good work.

The gospel writers spotlight a few events from Jesus life while admitting that the world's books could not contain everything he accomplished. They took time to record nights of prayer and times away with his disciples that might have been Jesus' sabbath seasons. He also celebrated the weekly Jewish day of complete rest.

Who are we to think our work is more important or our bodies more capable than his? Don't let anyone force you into living like you're super-Jesus. Such a blasphemy of overwork pays only in collapse and burnout, not in better ministry or healthier persons.

Read more:

*Lord, there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. 2 Chronicles 14:11 NIV

*The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the LORD holds them by the hand." Psalm 37:23-24 NLT

*Jesus said, "The farmer plants seed by taking God's word to others. The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message, only to have Satan come at once and take it away. The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. But since they don't have deep roots, they don't last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God's word. The seed that fell among the thorns represents others who hear God's word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced.

And the seed that fell on good soil represents those who hear and accept God's word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted!" Mark 4:14–20 NLT

*Paul wrote: My God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 NLT

Moravian Prayer: Christ Jesus, you are our mighty fortress and in you we find our sin and evil is conquered. Thank you for breaking the rod of the oppressor and winning our salvation. We dedicate ourselves anew to you this day. Amen.
---------------

BREAD: leftover dough from making pizza (I saved 1/2 c. Trader Joe's pizza dough). Add 2-3 c flour, 1-2 c water, and (optional) 1 tsp sugar and 1 tsp salt. Use your hands to stir and knead until the flour is absorbed. If it's runny and wet, add a few tbsp flour. If it's hard and dry, add a few tbsp water.

Cover. Let sit on counter 1-5 hours. Put in fridge or break off the piece of dough you'd like to bake. Always leave 1/2-1 c dough in the bowl as starter, to which you add flour, water (and maybe sugar and salt). Repeat the steps above endlessly.

Baking:

• Preheat the oven to 400 (softer crust) or 425 (crisper crust). 
• Sprinkle on the middle of a clean baking sheet: 3-5 tbsp of any combination of cream of wheat, cornmeal, rolled oatmeal (or other grains), sunflower seeds, flax seeds, etc. You can use more or less, depending on how big you want to make your bread loaf or bun.
• Pinch off the amount you want to bake from the dough, then roll it in the grains and seeds. Make sure there's enough on the pan so the baked bread won't stick.
• Let it rise to about 2/3 or double the size. I put the pan over a bowl of hot water to make it rise faster. (Don't touch the water but let the heat rise under the bread.)
• Bake (approximate baking times below). When bread is done, a knock with a knife sounds more like a tap than a thud. 
• Set the dough = Softer crust: wrap in a clean dishtowel for 20-30 minutes. Harder crust: cool on a wire rack for 20-30 minutes.
• OH YUM YUM YUM. Hot fresh bread.

Hints: use the middle rack of the oven with a regular cookie sheet. Use the bottom rack of the oven if you have a bread pan, or non-stick or double-layered cookie pans. If you don't have a convection oven to circulate heat, put another preheated clean cookie sheet on the upper rack (above the bread) to heat the top of the bread.

Baking times:
@400: 20-25 minutes for a bread bun or small loaf; 35 minutes for a medium loaf; 45-50 minutes for a large loaf
@425: reduce baking time by 5 minutes.

Bread-baking is an art. An easy one though. You'll have fun with this and get the "feel" of bread without hours of kneading. Then, be creative:

• Mix and match the flour portion by subbing whole grain, soy, teff, etc. flours
• Add unusual seasonings like 1 tbsp of olive oil and 1 tbsp of Italian seasonings (rosemary, basil)
• Add mashed potato flakes and 1 tsp black pepper.
• your creative ideas here!
  

One deadline down, more to go

A whole life culminates from a series of days and moments.


Sometimes it seems like what we do for the next hour or two doesn't make much of a difference. I like to dawdle through books that make my heart sing, like CS Lewis' Space Trilogy - nope, never actually been able to read them cover to cover, no matter how many times I try. I keep getting lost in the descriptions of worlds of imagination, conjured by words I know in other contexts.

But that's not the point I'm thinking about today. I looked at blog stats and was stunned to find that I have written so many... and that so many people read what I write. (Stats recorded over 15,000 readers in the past year or two). Day by day, with one post at a time about whatever comes to mind, the words stack up. And I am so grateful for every comment and encouragement along the way – other readers love to read what you're thinking, so keep them coming... in public if you're willing. A very special thank you to Tillie Porter, who sends a scripture a day my way, encouraging me to stay grounded and rooted in what is true and right.


I reached one of my smaller deadlines toward a potential 2012 graduation last night, sending off the fourth of four tutorials to my advisers. I have four really big deadlines (writing and defense of writing) coming up. As I hit "send" yesterday, God reminded me that every day has its own joys and sorrows. Nothing has the power to overwhelm us when he is in the day with us.

Our task is to listen to the still small voice –whether it comes through scripture, prayer, friends, church community, or otherwise – and obey. Nothing God asks of us will be contrary to his Word, even when it completely contradicts our culture and others' expectations.


What is God asking of you today? Doing a good job to earn your salary? Cleaning house to make it sparkle for hospitality later this week? Sitting at the bedside of an ill friend or family member? Praying for missionaries who desperately need spiritual cover? Studying for a sermon that nourishes rather than amuses or entertains? Brine-ing the turkey and assembling ingredients for Thursday's feast? Resting with your feet up because God is giving you time today to think about him and be grateful for all he has done?

I'm going to tackle the article I have to write and defend. It's not the way I'd choose to spend the day if I were making up a "perfect" day. But it's the task assigned to me. 

See you. Let's get to work!!! (or rest!!!)


Read more:
*In this manner, therefore, pray:
      Our Father in heaven,
      Hallowed be Your name.
      Your kingdom come.
      Your will be done
      On earth as it is in heaven.
      Give us this day our daily bread.
      And forgive us our debts,
      As we forgive our debtors.
      And do not lead us into temptation,
      But deliver us from the evil one.
      For Yours is the kingdom and the power
      and the glory forever. Amen.
-----------------
Matthew 6:9-13   NKJV