Lent Day 29: Knowing which way to turn

Wouldn't it be nice if life had a GPS? Clear signposts? Or lists? Especially if they pointed to the best possible outcomes. Think about it.

• 16: NU ahead. Study harder.
• 21: Job from an interview behind the door on the right.
• 25: Marry. Her. (Him.)
• 30s: Invest in retirement. Have another kid.
• 40s: Best boss is the bald guy.
• 50s: Today is your last chance to ...
• 60s: Invest in your grandchildren's generation.
• 70s: Pray more. Complain less.
• 80s: Heaven on November 30.

Life would be SO much easier! We'd always know when to go straight ahead ... or which way to turn.

It's not that simple, is it? And it's not that boring, either.

Sometimes it seems we have no choices. Other times we are flooded with possibilities. We may have options about whom we marry, any of them a good potential spouse. We guess at the best job offer. Hope we're hauling our stuff across the country to a safer city.

We make the leap. And then we take our chances.

I've had a few milestone moments in my life. What to do after high school? A calling to ministry and missions made my initial college choice easy. Whom to marry? "The guy praying beside you on the right." ("Hey, are You sure? His head only comes up to my ear!" Being one year older meant a height difference between W and me in our mid-teens. He caught up.) Stay in our hometown or move away? W had to finish the degree he'd started: we moved.

I've had a few misses. I worried about a few sure things that didn't come to pass. I lost some opportunities, said too little or too much, and thought I was doing the right thing.

So how do you negotiate a fork in the road?

1. Pray. Trust that whatever the initial interest, potential process, or eventual outcome, God will give you direction.
2. Talk to trusted confidants. Gather pros and cons from your spouse, family who love you, good friends, and outside advisers. Don't talk to everyone: in your inner circle, choose those who know you well enough to have your best interests at heart.
3. Listen for pattens in the feedback you hear. Is it a quick, go for it!? When I took a connecting and creative job designing alumni interactions for a university, everyone said, "Wow! Sounds like a fantastic fit." Or is it a universal, "No way!" When we thought about moving into a dark apartment, my friends rolled their eyes and said, "Don't even think about it! There's not enough light in there for you." (I took the job. Rejected the apartment.) If it's somewhere between, keep listening and praying.
4. Start moving in the direction of a good fit. Explore options. Do background research: have others done this? What have they liked or disliked about it? Is it a completely new arena? Examine how the first steps feel: are you happy or afraid, at peace or in turmoil?
5. Keep going until you find your groove or hit a dead end. If doors keep opening, keep moving forward. If there's an impasse, check if it lies with you or others. Can you move the roadblock? Is the road roped off? If you're at the end and prayers haven't unlocked the door, start again at #1.
6. Be prepared for surprises. You may have stepped onto a wide path, but have to traverse a few narrow trails of adventure between "yes!" and your goal. 
7. Walk in courageous trust. How does God keep the earth spinning when airplanes and ships and cars and bicycles keep us moving from place to place? How does the sun stay in the sky with such enormous solar flares that could knock it out of orbit? How does He order our lives to connect or avoid connections with people, jobs, and experiences instead of us chaotically bumping through life without purpose?

"Everything is harder, more work, and more wonderful than I think it will be when I plan it," says W. I agree.

We should know: we've lived a life of unexpected wonders. We've tried, failed, and succeeded at many things. We've experienced good times as well as struggles. Great joy finds its match in suffering.

Thank God for his counsel. Though we may only glimpse the possibilities ahead, God will give enough direction that we will look back and exclaim on His guiding hand and constant direction.

How do/did you know when it's the "Right Thing?"
Could you share some milestone moments from your own life?

Read more:

*He was cut off from the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people. Isaiah 53:8 NLT

*Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his glory? Luke 24:26 NLT

*[Jesus said,] "I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father's commandments and remain in his love. … You didn't choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name." John 15:9–10, 16 NLT

*Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Romans 13:8-10 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Jesus, our Brother, in your suffering we see the extent to which love can go. You invite us to walk the path of servant love with you. We hesitate, but you promise that we will not be alone as we bring your healing love to a hurting world. Amen.

Cured?

Almost there

It's the final day of the Apartment Therapy January Cure. I'm looking back on a month of riding twin rails: cleaning out used spaces and shedding things no longer used. In the middle of the tracks, I laid a month-long commitment to purchase nothing I don't eat or use up. The month shaped up as fun and worth the effort.

• Today someone came to buy our unused Robomower. I had hopes of a nicely cut lawn at the back when I bought it 10 years ago. My husband still weed-whacks the wild area bordering the forest two or three times a year. Goodbye mower! (and lawn idea)
• Someone picked up sewing supplies and asked for more. Their homeschool coop teaches students to sew. (Look, Mom! We're found a home for the stuff we'll clear from your sewing room!)
• A CL-er is coming for the K-NEX boxes our boys outgrew 2 decades ago.
• We donated bags of clothing, books, and unused household goods ... three times since New Year's Day.
• We Freecycled at least one item each day in January.
• Our adult kids claimed some family treasures we no longer use.
• I bundled up collectables ("Just the Right Shoe" and Hummels) for resale. The British teapots are next.

A focused being that knows its purpose

So, am I cured? Nope, but I feel like I've ripped off a bandage of storing things I'll never use. I am beginning to heal. Internally, I feel more space for considering new directions of work and play.

Lessons I've learned about tackling excess? How we can reevaluate our life and spaces?

1. Notice what you have. One minimalist challenged me to name every item in a room and say aloud what its purpose was. "No utility? No beauty? Not adding value to our lives? OUT!" I'm not quite there but I'm looking around. 
2. Be grateful for every opportunity represented in the stuff. Just don't feel obligated to be everything and do everything you thought you could or should when you brought it home!
3. Imagine the life you're called to and designed for. Go outside your room (office / house / garage, etc.), take some deep breaths, and maybe go for a walk. Dream about the life you'd ideally be living. Then walk back in your door as a "stranger." Ask, "What parts of my collected life reflects the life I want to live?"
4. Take out everything and refocus. Remove the contents of a box, a closet, a desktop, a room. Put back only things you really like or need. Trash, repurpose, or rehome the rest.



Focus, through a doorway
at Cambridge

5. Rejoice. With each decluttering accomplishment, enjoy the space, energy, and the time you've gained. (You'll need less energy and time for maintenance, cleaning, or rooting through piles of stuff.) Keep looking for ways to pare down. Follow through on giving away stuff ... without regrets. If one day you need that 10th extension cord, borrow one from your neighbor or run to the shop on the corner.

Quoted in Real Simple Magazine

This process works for life as well as spaces: notice with gratitude where you are. Pray for direction and focus.

Serve well. Many routines are imposed at work and home. Beyond that, schedule only things that align with your calling and strengthen your relationships.

Let the rest go. We know that you're not superhuman, but we'd love to see you less frazzled!

Read more:
*It is the Lord; let him do what seems good to him. 1 Samuel 3:18

*And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? If then you are not able to do so small a thing as that, why do you worry about the rest? Luke 12:25-2 

*Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!

“Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?” For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen. Romans 11:33-36 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Lord, you promised never to leave us nor forsake us. Forgive us when we become anxious about life’s issues. You know what is best for us; please strengthen our faith and trust in you. In Jesus’ name. Amen 

Accepting honor where it's due

Someone says something nice abut you. Something true. Something wonderful that you've worked hard on ... or that comes naturally and easily because it's a cultivated talent or gifting.

Should you feel honored or uncomfortable?

Do you feel you have to slough off compliments and achievements? Or can you celebrate what God has allowed you to do?

This past weekend, we noted milestones in lives of our choir peers. 35 years later, some have pastored churches. Others have raised good children. Many have influenced their communities through non-profits and community service. A few attained graduate degrees. I felt like I was in the middle of spiritual giants, listening to the tales of God at work in good times and bad. The gals dressed beautifully. Everyone seemed comfortable and at ease, having learned to speak in public and interact with others. These are not social skills to be taken lightly!

Many of us - including I - continue to struggle against our childhood church culture, which emphasized that pride comes before a fall ... so we had to deny any nice remarks about ourselves.

I listened to the interchanges at our reunion. We were surprised and thrilled to reconnect with each other after 35 years apart, because we have become adults with stories of God's abundance and faithfulness.

"Congratulations on a job well done." Response: "Could have done better."
"You're beautiful!" Response: "Wish it was true."
"You reached your goal!" Response: "Took more time than I thought."
"Wow, that's cool!" Response: "Anyone could do it."

I wondered if God felt disappointed at hearing us fend off others'  kind acknowledgements. He gifted us, gave us unique personalities, and allowed our experiences with the intent of forming and shaping us into useful and amazing persons. Would you be hurt if your kids rejected your parenting, claiming that they were nobodies and refusing to see themselves as worthwhile?

How do we admit who we are and celebrate our accomplishments without becoming self-promoting or prideful?

1. Did you solicit the compliment? Are you trying to overcome a sense of inadequacy with reverse pride (you are no one unless you're noticed by others)? If so, behave yourself and stop fishing! Your value comes because God likes you, not because of what others say.
2. Know yourself. How are you unique and special? Every person is needed on the planet or we'd be redundant and God would not have made us. Admit God's creativity: you are fearfully and wonderfully made!
3. Admit your giftings. What comes naturally and easily that others might struggle with? Celebrate how God has blessed you with talents and personality.
4. What have you worked hard to achieve? Be happy with how you've developed spiritually and trained a skill-set that is out of the ordinary.
5. What is the person trying to say? Are they genuinely pleased with you or with what you've done? Or are they buttering you up (flattering you) so you compliment them back or give them what they want? Accept the former with a smile, "Thank you, I appreciate that." Ignore the latter with a polite thanks or "Hmmm" and move on.
6. Would God agree with the compliment? When God says you are special and finds you extraordinary as his child - especially when he is glorified by your attention to his blessings - receive the compliment with grace and humility. We understand that it's God's work in you that makes you amazing. Your partnership with him is what we find so special about you, whether it's your sense of style, your gracious speech, or your great accomplishments. Agree with us, already :-)

I'm sending a warm "I celebrate you!" and "So glad you're in my life!" to my wonderful friends and family this morning. You know who you are! (All of you!)

Read more:
*In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37

*For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen. Romans 11:36

*Yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live.1 Corinthians 8:6

*But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Philippians 3:7-11 NIV

Squinting through the details

"What would I do without Mom?" I keep thinking. My fridge is clean, the indoor plants are trimmed, and the conservatory sparkles. W's gone to a computer convention, so my mother came to help for the week.

By the time we have our morning walk and a light breakfast, it's 10am. It takes me a while to settle into studies. Sometimes my brain doesn't cooperate for an hour after I plunk myself on the office chair. The dogs keep me from freezing to the seat during the day: they want to get up every hour or two, which helps move me from the spot.

I skipped my walk this morning, though Mom has taken her walking sticks and headed out the door. It's 10am. Kirsten had a rough night: the memory foam mattress grabbed her, sank her into its trough, and held her until her neck and back seized up. Mom and I wrestled the padding, mattress, egg crate foam, and sheets off the base of the bed.

Up. Down. Up. Down. Kirsten tries out our experiments for comfort. A 5" thick, firm foam pad from atop the entry closet seems to be the ticket. Covered with an IKEA (folding bed) foam mattress, a doubled feather quilt, and bedding (with a medium-sized towel folded "just so" at the crease in the IKEA mattress), and a just-the-right-height-folded-body-pillow to extend the foot end, Kirsten is resting. "I hate feeling like the Princess and the Pea," she sighs and tries to get a snooze to make up for a sleepless night. "What Prince could want such a person?" We laugh and remind her that the prince of the fairytale actually sought out his princess.

It's a big day: Kirsten plans to go out for lunch and shopping with her s-i-l Melissa. The wheelchair's ready to glide down the ramp, built from the door to the ground (yay, W!) The women will take our SUV, and if her morning nap helps, K will have a fine day out. Grandma asked to watch Kinsey.Oh, that child is in for a treat!

Between all the chaos and changes in the household, I sent off a tutorial last night and am almost done with an article this morning. I'm planning to pack up and head for the library when Mom returns from her walk. "Focus, just focus," I remind myself. (Yeah, and while you do that, remember the girls will have the car. You're not going anywhere.)

This morning's turmoil proves again how life is neither straightforward nor neat. Though the goal may be clear, the journey defies definition.

God's Word is a light on our path, says Psalm 119. However, it's a torch for the next place to plant our feet on a steep hill climb, not a searchlight on a broad flat road. How does scripture inform your steps today?

Read more:

*“Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:6-9 NIV

* Psalm 9:1-10; Genesis 12:10-13:18; Matthew 5:27-42

*The Lord said to Gideon, "Peace be to you; do not fear, you shall not die." Then Gideon built an altar there to the Lord, and called it, The Lord is peace. Judges 6:23-24

*Christ says, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 (NIV)

Moravian Prayer: Faithful God, we depend on your promises. When we open our eyes in the morning, we look for you throughout the day. When we close our eyes in the evening, we trust in you while we sleep. Amen.