12 things we're still learning

Thursday, February 8, 2024

The house is full of friends staying over, while W's on his way to the USA for a theology meeting. He doesn't mind long hours of travel and considers layovers an adventure. I'm happy to stay home after the recent goodbyes of various sorts - team changes, relationship changes, and the loss of our dear coworker and friend Dr Hanna last weekend.

The chimes from Singapore, Bhutan, Malaysia, and the USA ring out as the wind blows through the yard.

There a continual rotation of beauty in nature, no matter what the heart is experiencing.

In shade or sunshine, something's always blooming.

The bromeliads are multiplying in the big guava tree beside the Porch.

Other bromeliad flowers brighten the bare limbs of the frangipani trees.

We've learned many things in the last month or two.

1) A graceful goodbye validates work done together in the past and releases everyone to a new and wonderful future. It may be a little messy in process, like this FB photo - but you can't get where you're going until you release what is no longer working.

2) Chinese memorials can last a week. Our friend's family hosted 4 days of visiting in the funeral home, with cremation on the final day. Meals and snacks are provided each day for people who sit with the family and reminisce on the precious life and interaction.

3) Love expressed bring life to the soul. Listening to the tributes and words of comfort, experiencing the hugs and hands held in sympathy, smelling the beautiful roses and lilies ... 

The many ways of expressing sympathy and condolence keep the heart beating when it is breaking.

4) Cremation is the normal practice for many Asians, especially those with a Buddhist or Hindu background.

The family is given the privilege of igniting the furnace at the crematorium. Near us, a man tells his son, "Someday you must do this for me." The child looks at his dad and nods.

5)  Life goes on but it isn't easy after a terrible loss. This is a difficult time for DrH's family and other friends who have lost their mothers this week. Please pray for them because of two dates coming up: Chinese New Year is this weekend; in addition, Dr H's big 80-81 birthday celebration was scheduled in 2 weeks. The calendar is relentless; every morning we miss her and think of what she meant to us - but the new day dawns anyway.

6) Just because you are happy to stay behind doesn't mean you won't miss going. Not seeing our kids and grandkids? Rated: 1/10 (1 being lousy-EST.) And sometimes the best view is from an empty place. (Chinese tomb overlooking Bandung.)

7) No matter what, self care and rest are vital. Yesterday, we stopped on the way home from the cremation to nourish body and mind. Alan and Jani's #Ethereal restaurant is a feast in many ways. This burger really is 6" high. W helps me eat it. My appetite is still returning after the bout with COVID.

He orders the best fish and chips in town. The real potatoes are fried in home-rendered beef tallow.

It's important to pause for small pleasures when the world is racing around you.

8) Compromise and tolerance make life possible. A friend accuses me of "intolerance and an unwillingness to discuss" when I respond to his post with a different view of theology. He dismisses our  discussion ... because he doesn't agree with my POV. Sigh. 

Tolerance? Discussion. I'm for it. The world is a better place for it. You can't be hard-nosed and call everyone else "intolerant and colonialist" because they don't reinterpret ancient documents (in this case, scripture) in light of current culture, the way you want to.

Tolerance is a two-way street. Sometimes the road is narrow = like this one yesterday. Our bus driver backed the bus up to an intersection to let the little car pass so we didn't crash into each other. That didn't mean the whole busload of people had to pile into the little car and go where it was going. We let it continue its journey and we went on our way. That's tolerance and compromise.

9) Good work continues. Meanwhile, the new whiteboard markers and erasers arrive for Tanikota, the English program that Dr H helped replicate around the city. The volunteers work faithfully to serve a few Bandung villages.

10) A new day is God's beginning, for as long as we live. This morning, Melvi walks the dogs, who love her gentle touch.

At Nara, W and I order our usual "popcorn shrimp." Our date morning offers a familiar rhythm in a set of turbulent weeks.

12) There's always motion and good work to be done. A young friend drops by for tea and a chat on the Porch. She'll be the guest speaker at IES Bandung this weekend.

I've asked DrH's seamstress Dina to replicate my favorite-fit blouse. I took most of my short-sleeved blouses to Seattle last autumn, awaiting this year's summer trip. Now I keep looking for things to wear. 

Last year, Mom sent along buttons and more buttons from the collection in her sewing room because her sewing days are over. I go through them and have many options. Cool! 

I've purchased various fabrics over the years and pull out a batch to see what would be pretty. The cottons are washed and ironed and the buttons matched to them by the time Dina comes to pick up the lot in mid-afternoon. With one call after another, the days ahead fill up with people and responsibilities.

Technically it's a long weekend, with Mohammed's ascension day (Muslim) celebrated tonight. Imlek or Lunar New Year (Chinese) happens on Feb 10. However, thousands of election workers are gearing up for the national election on Valentine's Day. Up to seven levels of senators and the President/Vice President will be elected on Feb. 14.

In reality, it's no vacation for election workers. All advertising must be removed 3 days prior by a party official and a government monitor. There's a fine if something is left behind. I hope they're recycling the huge vinyl placards and bamboo structures. "It will probably be burned somewhere," comments an Indonesian. "Otherwise someone can accuse you of stealing the posters." That would be a shame to put those fumes into the air when many people could use them.

Every neighborhood council sets up the election: they have meetings and more meetings over a few weeks, collect and pass out information and ballets, and build voting booths in every neighborhood in case of rain.

 God - and Life - are good, even when things feel hard at the time. At 4:00 p.m., the wind whips up the hill and the cloud cover makes the house as dark as night. The leaves flutter and the wires sway overhead as the rain storm comes near.

Read more:

*The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:8-12

*Many peoples shall come and say, “Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob, that he may teach us his ways and that we may walk in his paths.” Isaiah 2:3

*When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain, and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. And he began to speak and taught them. Matthew 5:1-2

Moravian Prayer: Great Teacher, thank you for lovingly and patiently teaching us, so that guidelines are clear as we seek to walk in the ways you have carved out for us. May we demonstrate these principles in our lives, for Christ’s sake. Amen.

Goodbye, dear friend: a tribute to Dr Satyawati Hanna

Wednesday, February 7, 2024

Sunday, our friend and coworker Satyawati Hanna (Dr Hanna) passed away. She leaves behind a colorful life of memories!

We had been in Bandung one day when someone called out my name in a clothing outlet store. I'm not much of a shopper - and hearing my name in a shop that Friday was a shock. We'd only been in Jakarta for a month and a half before moving to Bandung. Who knew us?

Alice and a few friends from IES Jakarta were on a shopping trip when they spotted Waldemar and me and said hi. Alice asked where we were living and said I should meet her mom, who lived around the corner from our new address. I thought that would be nice.

2 days later, it's Sunday. We were walking to catch an angkot (public transport van) to church when someone behind us called: "Rosemarie, is that you?" It was a beautiful lady in her early 70s - Hanna, headed for the same English service at the Baptist church downtown. That's how we met.

Our angkot driver took an alternate route while we were chatting so we missed the stop. We climbed out further downtown, hailed a taxi, and eventually got to the service. It was a memorable beginning (even for someone like me who remembers few details.)

I called her "Dr Hanna" over her initial protests. "Just call me Hanna. No one knows me except as the daughter of my famous father, who was a headmaster of an elite school." Many Bandung professionals grew up with Hanna under his supervision. So she knew "everybody" since childhood.

But she was a force of nature in her own right, who earned the honor of a title many time over.

Before she retired, she'd been a distinguished WHO and UNICIF community doctor with a heart for people and their care. We asked if she'd join the fledgling IES Bandung team. 

We didn't know then how well she connected to others or how big her heart was.

"What would I have to contribute?" she asked with surprise. She became our community liaison as an outspoken champion of the disadvantaged. She was brave and adventurous, whether on a hike or in supporting a project.

She connected quickly with team members from Australia, Austria, Uganda, Tanzania, Europe, and Russia. Everyone loved and respected her. She was FUN.

It wasn't long before the name stuck and she became "Dr Hanna" to everyone who met her. 

Many of us said, "You are the busiest elder we know!" as she kept working. And connecting. And recruiting. Her goal was the benefit and health of others. She encouraged young and old to volunteer, set up mentorships for students, and kept track of dozens of young adults at a time. She was their liaison (and ours) for healthcare.

She was a supporter of the arts, whether it was the symphony or an art show.

She never slowed down. "When do you sleep?" I would ask with concern for her own health. Sometimes it was a short night, she admitted, filled with study, writing updates, and drafting fundraising proposals that were passed around her organizations as models.

She earned a stellar reputation through her love for God and others, studying scripture and leading Bible studies. She prayed for her colleagues and co-volunteers and cared when they suffered. She read scripture at IES Bandung and attended faithfully.

She thought the world of her daughters, son-in-law, and grandson and prayed for them every day.

She followed through on her promises. She was well-known for integrity and good works. She spent 10 years as president of Jari, an outstanding charity that advocates for impoverished families and children's health.

She was a careful dresser, stunning us with beautiful clothing from Bangladesh and custom outfits sewn with batiks acquired over the years. At church, I'd look to see what outfit she had chosen - such creativity.

Her home displayed treasures inherited from her family and collected from the places where she worked. When she'd invite you over, you never knew how she would have decorated the house, whether it was Christmas, Imlek (Chinese New Year), or another occasion.

Hundreds were recipients of her warm hospitality and good food in her art-filled home. And she loved to give gifts: food, fabrics, art, and other goodies.

In the almost-decade of our friendship and work together, we watched in awe as her faith grew. She blossomed into a mature disciple of Jesus, shaping her decisions around what would please God and serve others. It was amazing to be a bystander as she transformed into someone we wanted to follow.

DrH, we will miss you. For Waldemar and me, she was a dear friend as well as coworker. She was our trusted cultural monitor. ("Better to say ... than ..." or "when this happens, it means ...") She asked thoughtful questions and gave good advice on every side.

What I will remember from this week of memorials and tributes is the wide reach of one woman. One person devoted to God and the good of others. She was a person who loved and gave herself wholeheartedly, whether you were old or young.

I'll remember the comments and the tears this week. The warm words of young friends she mentored and old friends to whom she remained faithful and connected.

Dr Hanna - you had a unique place on the planet ... and in our hearts.

At the end of his life, Joshua the successor of Moses and leader of Israel said, "Now I am about to go the way of all the earth. You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed (Joshua 23:14)."

That is true of our friend as well. She followed her father and mentor into a life of service and blessing. We were recipients of the goodness of God through her. We love you and will never forget you. (Her book club friends put together this bouquet.)

Many other flowers came to the hall.

The entry hall was filled with flower boards.

At least 4 Rotary clubs sent their own tributes, since she'd alternated her service as President and Secretary for many years.

Many from her charity groups came to honor her.

Her friends and church members showed up at the funeral home to on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.

Young and old came to say thank you - and farewell.

Sunday and Monday, a group from IES Bandung led in singing before W and I invited her friends to share their memories and condolence.

Tuesday at the funeral, the pastor of the Baptist church (where she'd attended before) spoke in Indonesian. He also preached Wednesday before her cremation.

Wednesday, a good group went to the cremation hall, scattering rose petals on her coffin.

We stood beside her one last time before the final goodbye.  Rest in peace, Dr Hanna. Your work is done. And we already miss you so much!

[If you want to know more about Dr Hann's faith and the Savior she loved, please contact me by leaving a comment.]

Read more:

*The Lord waits to be gracious to you. Isaiah 30:18

*We believe that we will be saved through the grace of the Lord Jesus. Acts 15:11

Moravian Prayer: Gracious Redeemer, we are humbled by the depth of your love for us. We thank you for your sustaining grace that has safeguarded our salvation. Help us never to take your gracious kindness and compassion for granted. Amen.

Sometimes it's night

Wednesday, January 31, 2024

W and two IES Bandung media volunteers are in Jakarta overnight for a seminar about social media. The dogs make sure no one comes into the yard. They're especially protective in the rare case that one of us is home without the other. Our neighbors are a shout away if we need something, too.

It's calm and quiet. Pieces of broken mirrors and soft lamps glow in the nook after sundown. I love the golden light of dusk and dawn.

We're arranging October speakers. A few more connection and the year will be planned through November. December means Advent ... and that's where my head stops.

IbuA goes into the garden and makes her own flower arrangement. Pretty! The helpers are more and more creative.

Thursday

I decide on a different route for my walk, which adds an extra half-mile. But I come back the same way. This streets buzz with motorcycles before 7:00 a.m. and empty once students get to school.

A blaze of pink blossoms hang over one neighbor's gate.

Another has a hedge of white flowers attended by bees.

It's semi-cloudy; everything is growing in the garden.

Grading. There are many edits on many assignments and revisions for this class (Study and Research Writing.) It's easiest to hand-write current grades into a notebook. I'll put the final grades into their folders.

It's a relief to leave the office behind and move onto other things. Like calling Mom each morning.

I scramble eggs over mashed potatoes and sprouts for breakfast. It tastes good with sambal (spicy sauce.)

Friday

I walk, have a few meetings in the morning, and set up the final version of the class PPT: it's posted after the final session. A ripe durian has fallen and is opened for lunch. When I come out of my room, the whole house smells foul. "Oh wait, it must be the durian." The powerful odor travels.

The interior is creamy and custardy. PakG says it's not a special kind. "Just the common Indonesian version," he says. The dozen or so in the tree are spoken for. W and I will pass them on.

It's the last day of teaching, after which grading, revisions, and returns happens for a month. When someone asks for an extension after a month of this, I tend to say no. Get your work done early "just in case." I've never taught a class with so many excused absences, power outages, and internet challenges for the students. I have to grade as though they were sitting in class all 3 weeks, which is what they signed up for.

The view from my office window is quiet. I have to get up twice to retrieve our labradoodle. She keeps pushing aside the neighbor's gate to go inside. The neighbor is raising goat kids for the upcoming Idul Fitr (feast after 30 days of Ramadan). The animals will be slaughtered as a reminder of Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son (assumed to be Ishmael by Muslims).

My test is negative! hurrah - Covid's done with me. I call several working teams with updates on a resignation. Sometimes leaders fix things. Sometimes they let things go. Sometimes they give reports. I love our teams, who hear from God and do hard work.

Saturday

Starting with a 6:00 a.m. meeting, the day unfolds. I make peanut butter toast and have breakfast during our discussion. After 10 minutes, I eat some little ants before I notice. They are swarming the bread. Ugh. I shake off and squish the rest when I see them. (Obviously, we've lived here a while.)

I walk up to the laundry rooftop to see what improvements the handymen made last week.  The runoff has soaked the interior whenever the gutters overflow. hopefully that' fixed it. The workmen have raised the height of the gutter that drains the roof. The clay tiles stretch by the thousands to the peak of the roof.

Read more:

*All the peoples of the earth may know that the Lord is God; there is no other. 1 Kings 8:60

*Jesus said: Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. Matthew 28:19-20

Moravian Prayer; Sending God, when we become comfortable with watching and not doing the work of ministry, remind us we all have a role to fill, a part to play, and gifts to use, and that even small parts are essential. Amen.