12 things we're still learning

Thursday, February 8, 2024

The house is full of friends staying over, while W's on his way to the USA for a theology meeting. He doesn't mind long hours of travel and considers layovers an adventure. I'm happy to stay home after the recent goodbyes of various sorts - team changes, relationship changes, and the loss of our dear coworker and friend Dr Hanna last weekend.

The chimes from Singapore, Bhutan, Malaysia, and the USA ring out as the wind blows through the yard.

There a continual rotation of beauty in nature, no matter what the heart is experiencing.

In shade or sunshine, something's always blooming.

The bromeliads are multiplying in the big guava tree beside the Porch.

Other bromeliad flowers brighten the bare limbs of the frangipani trees.

We've learned many things in the last month or two.

1) A graceful goodbye validates work done together in the past and releases everyone to a new and wonderful future. It may be a little messy in process, like this FB photo - but you can't get where you're going until you release what is no longer working.

2) Chinese memorials can last a week. Our friend's family hosted 4 days of visiting in the funeral home, with cremation on the final day. Meals and snacks are provided each day for people who sit with the family and reminisce on the precious life and interaction.

3) Love expressed bring life to the soul. Listening to the tributes and words of comfort, experiencing the hugs and hands held in sympathy, smelling the beautiful roses and lilies ... 

The many ways of expressing sympathy and condolence keep the heart beating when it is breaking.

4) Cremation is the normal practice for many Asians, especially those with a Buddhist or Hindu background.

The family is given the privilege of igniting the furnace at the crematorium. Near us, a man tells his son, "Someday you must do this for me." The child looks at his dad and nods.

5)  Life goes on but it isn't easy after a terrible loss. This is a difficult time for DrH's family and other friends who have lost their mothers this week. Please pray for them because of two dates coming up: Chinese New Year is this weekend; in addition, Dr H's big 80-81 birthday celebration was scheduled in 2 weeks. The calendar is relentless; every morning we miss her and think of what she meant to us - but the new day dawns anyway.

6) Just because you are happy to stay behind doesn't mean you won't miss going. Not seeing our kids and grandkids? Rated: 1/10 (1 being lousy-EST.) And sometimes the best view is from an empty place. (Chinese tomb overlooking Bandung.)

7) No matter what, self care and rest are vital. Yesterday, we stopped on the way home from the cremation to nourish body and mind. Alan and Jani's #Ethereal restaurant is a feast in many ways. This burger really is 6" high. W helps me eat it. My appetite is still returning after the bout with COVID.

He orders the best fish and chips in town. The real potatoes are fried in home-rendered beef tallow.

It's important to pause for small pleasures when the world is racing around you.

8) Compromise and tolerance make life possible. A friend accuses me of "intolerance and an unwillingness to discuss" when I respond to his post with a different view of theology. He dismisses our  discussion ... because he doesn't agree with my POV. Sigh. 

Tolerance? Discussion. I'm for it. The world is a better place for it. You can't be hard-nosed and call everyone else "intolerant and colonialist" because they don't reinterpret ancient documents (in this case, scripture) in light of current culture, the way you want to.

Tolerance is a two-way street. Sometimes the road is narrow = like this one yesterday. Our bus driver backed the bus up to an intersection to let the little car pass so we didn't crash into each other. That didn't mean the whole busload of people had to pile into the little car and go where it was going. We let it continue its journey and we went on our way. That's tolerance and compromise.

9) Good work continues. Meanwhile, the new whiteboard markers and erasers arrive for Tanikota, the English program that Dr H helped replicate around the city. The volunteers work faithfully to serve a few Bandung villages.

10) A new day is God's beginning, for as long as we live. This morning, Melvi walks the dogs, who love her gentle touch.

At Nara, W and I order our usual "popcorn shrimp." Our date morning offers a familiar rhythm in a set of turbulent weeks.

12) There's always motion and good work to be done. A young friend drops by for tea and a chat on the Porch. She'll be the guest speaker at IES Bandung this weekend.

I've asked DrH's seamstress Dina to replicate my favorite-fit blouse. I took most of my short-sleeved blouses to Seattle last autumn, awaiting this year's summer trip. Now I keep looking for things to wear. 

Last year, Mom sent along buttons and more buttons from the collection in her sewing room because her sewing days are over. I go through them and have many options. Cool! 

I've purchased various fabrics over the years and pull out a batch to see what would be pretty. The cottons are washed and ironed and the buttons matched to them by the time Dina comes to pick up the lot in mid-afternoon. With one call after another, the days ahead fill up with people and responsibilities.

Technically it's a long weekend, with Mohammed's ascension day (Muslim) celebrated tonight. Imlek or Lunar New Year (Chinese) happens on Feb 10. However, thousands of election workers are gearing up for the national election on Valentine's Day. Up to seven levels of senators and the President/Vice President will be elected on Feb. 14.

In reality, it's no vacation for election workers. All advertising must be removed 3 days prior by a party official and a government monitor. There's a fine if something is left behind. I hope they're recycling the huge vinyl placards and bamboo structures. "It will probably be burned somewhere," comments an Indonesian. "Otherwise someone can accuse you of stealing the posters." That would be a shame to put those fumes into the air when many people could use them.

Every neighborhood council sets up the election: they have meetings and more meetings over a few weeks, collect and pass out information and ballets, and build voting booths in every neighborhood in case of rain.

 God - and Life - are good, even when things feel hard at the time. At 4:00 p.m., the wind whips up the hill and the cloud cover makes the house as dark as night. The leaves flutter and the wires sway overhead as the rain storm comes near.

Read more:

*The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:8-12

*Many peoples shall come and say, “Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob, that he may teach us his ways and that we may walk in his paths.” Isaiah 2:3

*When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain, and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. And he began to speak and taught them. Matthew 5:1-2

Moravian Prayer: Great Teacher, thank you for lovingly and patiently teaching us, so that guidelines are clear as we seek to walk in the ways you have carved out for us. May we demonstrate these principles in our lives, for Christ’s sake. Amen.