A difficult goodbye

Thursday, October 24, 2024

Autumn is stunning in the Pacific Northwest. Walking 5 meters out the back door, I snap photos of the forest. The trees and moist ground absorb the smells and sounds of city life.

It's a treat to refresh our eyes and lungs with the acres of green behind our neighborhood. A creek runs through the dip between our street and the next one. Sometimes coyotes, deer, rabbits, and raccoons visit, though we live in the city.

A beautiful parcel arrives via post. Our friend has filled the box with 25 home-baked espresso-chocolate cookies. They go into the freezer until we pack for home. All year long, I'll ration them for times of discouragement or stress = her instant touch of love and friendship. THANK YOU, Keelee.

We meet Andy for breakfast. His group partners with us for teaching and humanitarian projects. 

The pancakes and omelet hit the spot.

Today we start to pack our suitcases for home. Then we throw a few things into a duffel for the weekend trip to Canada.

Friday

We're on our way to see our moms by 7:00 a.m. W doesn't want to get stuck at the border. My mom lives in one city, but he has a lunch date with his mother about an hour away.

The blueberry fields offer a splash of color in front of "Old Indian" mountain. That's politically insensitive now but that's what we called it as kids. (I don't know its actual name.) W drops me off at Mom's before he drives to his mother's.

My brother from Germany and his daughter are already at our family home. From the back, he looks like his oldest brother and like Dad did. Same posture, same desk.

Sandy, who masterfully manages Norm's work and Mom's care, has set up a digital screen for Mom. We can all send current photos to her via an app. It's her reminder of family around the world. We post for pictures with Mom. Our youngest sibling is internet tracker averse, so I blank out his face.

My niece and I walk along the dike beside the Hope Slough. It was Mom's favorite walk for decades.

The maples are glorious, shedding their leaves in the drizzle. How did we survive, living under this grey sky?

Saturday

I hang out with Mom most of the day. She's very frail. We have this time - precious and too short - to talk, eat, and sit together.

Many of our family memories were served on Mom's dishes and shaped by her hospitality. My niece and I go through the china cabinet and drawers. "This is your chance to find things that remind you of Grandma." She fills a box with dishes, trays, and other items she likes. She'll take them to her place in Germany next week.

I set the table with the best china, crystal goblets, and Mom's "good" cutlery. It brings back memories of doing this since I was 16 years old and we moved into this house (in 1972). My brother Norm brings Chinese food from The Capital. 

"This may be the last time we sit around the table like this," Norm notes. Unfortunately our youngest sibling has the stomach flu and misses supper. 

W and a guest buss the dishes into the kitchen. I quickly wash them by hand like Mom taught me. My niece plays a mini-concert on the piano and helps in the kitchen as we're wrapping up. Soon everything is packed away. Who knows if we get to do this again.

Sunday

We speak 3X in a local congregation. Mom's care-pack of four amazing! women get Mom there at 10:00. It's the first time she and Norm have heard us speak in person. Her friend Donna comes, too. Donna's hydrangeas caught my eye on our walk the other day. What magnificent pinks.

My younger brother and his kids stay home to visit. "We see each other only every two years." My nephew lives in Vancouver.

By the time W and I get to Mom's after the third service, it's 1:30. I hug her neck many times and record her memories and things she wants me to remember. We talk about Dad and how much she thinks of him in our interactions: he shaped most of my young thinking and values. And our personalities were similar.

There will be times I need her counsel and encouragement, even when she's gone. We remind each other of God's goodness in giving us this family. We also say aloud how much we love each other. Mom prays a blessing of peace over me, W, and our work.

Our youngest son drops in for a few hours. He lives in Seattle and hasn't been here for years. He and Grandma have some special time together, too. It's a double-blessing; he sees his cousins and his uncle lookalike. My brother takes his son back to Vancouver late in the afternoon. 

It's been a moving puzzle of family, these last weeks. Mom personally assures each child and grandchild that they are special to her and known by God. "He knows your name. Your future is in His hands."

W and I visit W's mother on the way back to Seattle. Can you spot the trackhoe (yellow machine, halfway up) cutting the face of the mountain along the freeway? Looks precipitous. 

The blaze of blueberries stands out against the mountain range.

W poses with his mom before we say goodbye and exchange hugs. She shoos us out the door with concern for our safety; it's rainy and getting dark outside.

We cross the border without a hassle. The border guard is crabby and holds up a long line of cars with detailed questions. When he gets to us, we have a question. He answers and waves us through. As the sun goes down, the roads light up, slick with rain.

Through the mountain passes, the clouds billow above us.

Monday

This morning, our middle son and his family drive through those passes to see Grandma. Meanwhile, W packs so we know which extra items fit into his luggage. I stock up on household things to last the year in Indonesia, so my suitcases fill up quickly. We head home tomorrow.

Our daughter Kirsten recommends Fang's Noodle House (Totem Lake) for lunch. OOOOOh. Is this the perfect chewy hand-pulled noodle? The taste and texture are outstanding. Highly recommended.

W's running errands. He drops off sacks of books at Half Price Books and picks up some final computer gear. That gives me a few hours to do laundry, clean house, and refresh the bedding. Our daughter arrives in 2 weeks to visit Grandma. During her trip, she will stay in our flat and connect with family and friends in Seattle.

There's time to set the table for supper, too. The grand/kids come over (downstairs from their house) one more time. I make Mandarin Chicken, while W picks up noodles and green beans.

Read more: the prayer of Jesus

*[Jesus told his disciples,] "This, then, is how you should pray:

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. [Amen.]

 

"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."