Love and loss - farewell to Azka and Mel

Tuesday, February 3, 2026 - rest in peace, Aska

A day we won't forget as Azka, our young friend, is laid to rest. Prayers appreciated for his mother, family, and friends. His memorial service is attended by friends from as far back as grade school. He was beloved by many.

We snap new photos to update some partners, arrange appointments, and write. W keeps moving things over from his office. "We're almost done," we assure each other.

The team meets online in the late afternoon. Meanwhile, the smell of baking banana bread fills the house. We're using up the bananas gifted by Veronica last week; the tops of some burn as the helpers learn how to use the top burner in the oven. With that char cut off, it's ok. We've sent some with friends and our guests have already enjoyed a few loaves. The rest are in the freezer.

Eva sends over a beautiful housewarming gift: a matching table runner and tissue box. Here, every table is set with tissues - no one uses napkins ('serviettes' to Canadians). Items come and go - motorcycle delivery is cheap.

I hardly cook because it's nearly always cheaper to buy fewer groceries. When I look in the fridge today, there are vegetables that will spoil if they're not used. How about soup? We have lots of spices and it might be fun to make something. After a bit of blooming in hot oil, into the pot it all goes! The birds get some ubi (sweet potato) leaves. They're happily chirping in their new location.

The groomers sort out the dogs, who are gleeful about treats when they're finished.

Wednesday - farewell to Dr. Mel Ming

Our dear friend is admitted to hospital with heart failure and slips away from earth into the presence of God. He's one of Waldemar's best friends.

His widow Martha is one of my dear friends. We share children. Our kids married, which makes it doubly difficult to process this loss. We grieve, though not as though without hope. We will see him again. Now he is experiencing the hope and beauty of resurrection power in Christ. Soon our time will come to do the same.

Another round of clearing out and pickups. After we walk, W tackles the men's bathroom with a pressure washer. If kids come to learn English, it's important to have clean bathrooms - and they'll probably prefer a traditional squatty one.

W comes in for a mask, grabs a steel brush, and wears shorts. He says it's disgusting. I refrain from taking a "before" photo of the green floor. Mold. Algae. Everywhere. 

This one was used but not cleaned by the construction crew; ugh. And yesterday the helpers "didn't get to it." The surfaces of the tiles are already gone so even when clean, it looks black and dirty.

The room is also used as a shower for outdoor workers. A traditional Indonesian shower room (bak mandi) has a deep tiled basin or pail full of water beside the hole-in-the-floor toilet. With no toilet paper, water is scooped out for toilet or shower purposes. Coooold water showers! Not for me. But a luxury for some.

I meet with an advisor for an hour. Then I sink into AI research and books about women serving in Pentecostal or Charismatic missions. What a widespread influence these women wield. They used to be primarily from the West but increasingly come from the Global South. They are powerhouses in peacekeeping and social services, besides their confident presentation of Good News.

We toss the lunch leftovers into a pot with broth and add noodles for a delicious supper. We pray together for the families whose tears are falling tonight.

Thursday

Veronika, Kiki, and I put 10,000 steps (over 4 miles) on our shoes. We walk along the river between our hill and the next. The Treetop Walk at the university is still under construction but we explore a few back areas and talk to some artists about their work. This trunk catches my eye. Rubbish is heaped around it. 

Someone carved intricate patterns into it.

Riverside property is a liability, not a privilege here. Rubbish, sewage, and erosion fill the water. But locals bathe in it.

A little slug risks its life on the trail.

Workers straddle a board across bamboo scaffolding. They're building another mosque. This one will block the river and forest views of the apartments behind them.

Someone loves orchids - these bloom in front of their house.

Kiki, Veronica and I have brunch at Dalaroas, a Sundanese buffet. We're not really hungry yet but this tides everyone over until suppertime.

We field pastoral calls during the day. After a quick shower, W and I hang pictures on the walls in the upstairs bedrooms. With overnight guests, we need to get those frames off the floor. We're both worn out when we're done. I've tracked 17,000 steps and 20 flights. That's plenty.

The wedding venue crew drop off all kinds of stuff in late afternoon. "No smoking on the property," W tells them as they light up. They can smoke outside the gate if they must. We want to steward the Project well - we don't want 1) cigarette butts everywhere, nor 2) fires in the compost under the tall trees.

I write the sermon for this weekend's wedding. Life is beautiful and terrible, love and loss. We celebrate life in milestones and mourn when it has run its course.

There's a leak by the tub and another by the toilet. That can't be good. The construction crew is busy at another site; this must be fixed.

Friday

There's no room in my heart for birthday parties, between emotions and wedding preparations. I reluctantly decline going to the Book Group. Besides discussing a book, they're celebrating birthdays. I cook the pasta I promised and send over books for Marjie.

We must complete our move before W's upcoming obligations take over his time. He stops by the locksmith to rekey more locks and does some shopping on the way back, while I work at home.

The wedding planners are here off and on all day, unmaking our living spaces for tomorrow's wedding . Once again, my office looks like the aftermath of a hurricane.

I take photos of the storage shelves - hopefully everything is still there when the wedding is over. 

The upstairs bedrooms are ready for guests. There will be some tweaks after this weekend's wedding visitors leave.

Each room has curtains, a hanging rack, a suitcase table, a rug, and a small desk. We started accumulating furniture for the Project while living at the old place. "Preparation for the mother of all garage sales," W used to grumble. 

Some rooms have more beds than others - but the family expects to sleep almost 40 overnight. Neither W nor I have slept well this week - but we are looking forward to tomorrow's celebration.

We'll see. The family bought a rug to spread in the catering area so the overflow will sleep there. Nights are cold. We bought 10 extra fleece blankets the last time we were at IKEA; those are in a basket in the hall, in case they're needed. Thanks to our generous friends who make such hospitality possible.

The clanging of pipes to erect arches and build a yard-sized tent fills the backyard.

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* Blessed are those who trust in the LORD, like a tree planted by water, sending out its roots by the stream. In the year of drought it is not anxious, and it does not cease to bear fruit. Jeremiah 17:7,8

* I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit. John 15:5

Moravian Prayer: Divine God, come and guide us this day. Help us see the needs of others and give us the willingness to meet those needs with an unjudging spirit of love. Amen.