Accepting honor where it's due

Someone says something nice abut you. Something true. Something wonderful that you've worked hard on ... or that comes naturally and easily because it's a cultivated talent or gifting.

Should you feel honored or uncomfortable?

Do you feel you have to slough off compliments and achievements? Or can you celebrate what God has allowed you to do?

This past weekend, we noted milestones in lives of our choir peers. 35 years later, some have pastored churches. Others have raised good children. Many have influenced their communities through non-profits and community service. A few attained graduate degrees. I felt like I was in the middle of spiritual giants, listening to the tales of God at work in good times and bad. The gals dressed beautifully. Everyone seemed comfortable and at ease, having learned to speak in public and interact with others. These are not social skills to be taken lightly!

Many of us - including I - continue to struggle against our childhood church culture, which emphasized that pride comes before a fall ... so we had to deny any nice remarks about ourselves.

I listened to the interchanges at our reunion. We were surprised and thrilled to reconnect with each other after 35 years apart, because we have become adults with stories of God's abundance and faithfulness.

"Congratulations on a job well done." Response: "Could have done better."
"You're beautiful!" Response: "Wish it was true."
"You reached your goal!" Response: "Took more time than I thought."
"Wow, that's cool!" Response: "Anyone could do it."

I wondered if God felt disappointed at hearing us fend off others'  kind acknowledgements. He gifted us, gave us unique personalities, and allowed our experiences with the intent of forming and shaping us into useful and amazing persons. Would you be hurt if your kids rejected your parenting, claiming that they were nobodies and refusing to see themselves as worthwhile?

How do we admit who we are and celebrate our accomplishments without becoming self-promoting or prideful?

1. Did you solicit the compliment? Are you trying to overcome a sense of inadequacy with reverse pride (you are no one unless you're noticed by others)? If so, behave yourself and stop fishing! Your value comes because God likes you, not because of what others say.
2. Know yourself. How are you unique and special? Every person is needed on the planet or we'd be redundant and God would not have made us. Admit God's creativity: you are fearfully and wonderfully made!
3. Admit your giftings. What comes naturally and easily that others might struggle with? Celebrate how God has blessed you with talents and personality.
4. What have you worked hard to achieve? Be happy with how you've developed spiritually and trained a skill-set that is out of the ordinary.
5. What is the person trying to say? Are they genuinely pleased with you or with what you've done? Or are they buttering you up (flattering you) so you compliment them back or give them what they want? Accept the former with a smile, "Thank you, I appreciate that." Ignore the latter with a polite thanks or "Hmmm" and move on.
6. Would God agree with the compliment? When God says you are special and finds you extraordinary as his child - especially when he is glorified by your attention to his blessings - receive the compliment with grace and humility. We understand that it's God's work in you that makes you amazing. Your partnership with him is what we find so special about you, whether it's your sense of style, your gracious speech, or your great accomplishments. Agree with us, already :-)

I'm sending a warm "I celebrate you!" and "So glad you're in my life!" to my wonderful friends and family this morning. You know who you are! (All of you!)

Read more:
*In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37

*For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen. Romans 11:36

*Yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live.1 Corinthians 8:6

*But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Philippians 3:7-11 NIV

A weekend on memory lane

Bill and Sue Berger of All Saints

I saw friends at three events this weekend. The first honored Bill Berger, pastor in Seattle. Bill, who go Northwest's Regius Award, has been an inspiration because of his spiritual perseverance and love for his community.

Julia Young

Friday morning during NU's chapel, Julia Young, semi-retired faculty and student favorite, was given the Didaskalos Award, which annually has recognized outstanding professors over the last few decades. A scholarship named for TJ Bulger, who started the alumni department at NU, made the event a done-deal for me. TJ consistently offered encouragement, hugs, and good counsel during my tenure as Alumni Director.

ThoraJean Bulger (left), being thanked by students and
friends for her work in securing alumni scholarships

The highlight of the weekend was my all-day college choir reunion. Our conductor flew in from Ontario and many of us came some distance. We attended the alma mater over 30 years ago so we're in our 50s and 60s.

W and I picked up supplies and food the night before, and drove up early Saturday to set up and cook lunch. We ate lasagne, salad, garlic bread (except for my vegan option) - and consumed salty and sweet snacks to fuel the afternoon of stories and prayers.

Betty-Lou, Rosemarie, Melody, Sylvia, and Don

My mom and dad stopped by for a few hours to hear how those kids who dropped by their house became adults. It took a lot of cooking and cleaning by many willing volunteers (thanks to my mom, too). Rod Bitterman, first-year Harmie and current pastor, opened his church in Chilliwack, BC, set up tables, and made sure we'd cleaned up afterwards. (We would have donated to the college if they had made room for us.)

Elmer and Sherry Komant,
missionaries to Rwanda

Looking at the faces of friends and faculty, it's plain to see that life has taken unexpected turns. There have been great accomplishments, spiritual highs, and rewards. But there have also been devastating losses, surprises of pain, illness, and grief, and challenges that could have ruined our walk of faith.

Here we are, by the grace of God. "Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, blessings all mine with 10,000 beside," says the hymnwriter.

Praying with and for each other

Through every dark valley or steep mountain climbs, whether overlooking the beautiful vistas when life seems whole and perfect ... or thinking the next step would plunge us into an abyss, God has accompanied and blessed us with his loving presence. Each day, he provided strength and grace enough.

Alumni directors from secular universities complain about the drinking and carousing that happens at alum events. (Mind you, drunk alumni are more generous than those who are sober.) Those of us from Christian institutions gratefully honor our own alums, faithful people who impact communities, raise good citizens, and spread God's love wherever they go.

From 1974-77 faculty and students to 2012 friends:
WPBC Harmonnaires

Read more:

*It was not because you were more numerous than any other people that the Lord set his heart on you and chose you—for you were the fewest of all peoples. It was because the Lord loved you. Deuteronomy 7:7-8

*(Boaz said,) "I … know about everything you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband. I have heard how you left your father and mother and your own land to live here among complete strangers. May the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully for what you have done."

Ruth 2:11–12

*When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? Psalm 8:3-4 NIV

*God chose what is low and despised in the world, things that are not, to reduced to nothing things that are. 1 Corinthians 1:28

Moravian Prayer: O God of wisdom, God of love, you have chosen us and we are your people. Enduring God, may the world see that we are yours by the love we spread into our communities. Amen.