Lent Day 12: Loving - and hating - the cross

Do you ever get caught up in little things or feel annoyed when things don't go as hoped? This morning I got a "free haircut" as a model in an expensive salon. After 1:15 in the chair, I tipped the stylist. Back home, it took 20 seconds for a surprised "What on earth!," 5 minutes to recut the back to hang right, a minute to make sure it was straight, and then I cleaned up the counter in the bathroom.

The salon cut...

a sinkful of chopped hair...

= a quick fix.

It's a bit of a waste to spend the morning on a task that usually takes 15-20 minutes. But let's face it, hair is a renewable resource.

In contrast, here's something worth agonizing about. The cross has been a true horror for me for as long as I can remember. My feelings accelerated when our anatomy prof at college described the agony of flogging and crucifixion. Could a crueler punishment exist for someone undeserving of ill treatment?

I skipped Passion shows at church and avoided Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ. I could NOT watch the tearing of skin as the whips lashed Jesus or listen to nails going through human flesh. I hated the cross! the torture! Mary's tears! The disciples' loss of their dreams and hopes! It was too awful. Unbearable.

Yet I loved it, too. I've been drawn to the cross since I was a child. I've never been able to understand it. I'm overwhelmed that God chose the cross to intersect history.

How could someone endure such pain for me? Jesus carried the grief of ALL the sins of the world? He suffered the brokenness of ALL sickness. He died in anguish to win forgiveness for EVERY offense given and received.

I loathe that I pinned my Savior to the cross. I am ashamed that I continue to sin and transgress against God and others.

But since I was a little girl, I have loved the story of Jesus, winning my salvation. I'm drawn to the cross again and again.

Sometimes I get caught up in the little things of life. A bad haircut. Someone cutting me off in traffic. The failure of a project. Disappointment with people.

Then Jesus reminds me, "Here is what truly matters. I carried the cross for you." He eases the burdens of worry or unforgiveness from my backpack of grievences. He lifts the annoyance or dismay from my shoulders. He robes me in his grace, because of the cross.

What does the cross mean to you?

Read more:
*Give ear to my words, O Lord; give heed to my sighing. Listen to the sound of my cry, for to you I pray. Psalm 5:1-2 ESV

*For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV

*In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to the one who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Hebrews 5:7 ESV

Moravian Prayer: In the throes of pain and suffering, we cry out to you, holy Jesus. In your own pain and suffering, you cried out to God. Comforter, you have cried our tears and you are the one to wipe our tears away. Amen.

Lent Day 40: Grateful

Early on Good Friday morning, I tune in to the YouVersion reader to hear Mark 14-15. Each year, believers read the Story, think about God's love, and say thank you for the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.

This year it's particularly meaningful to me. I listen and imagine Jesus' Friday, which includes:

• a feast with friends
• warning those expecting promotion and political wins about hardships and sorrow ahead
• fervent prayer to endure and stay the course, if there is no other route forward
• rousing sleeping followers, who fade away instead of supporting you
• betrayal by an insider ... then watching trusted friends melt away
• healing someone who's coming to take you away
• looking a best friend in the eye after he swears up and down that he's never had anything to do with you
• hearing a mob scream for your blood
• a politically-rigged trial results in a death sentence
• humiliation by religious leadership, mockery with a purple robe and thorn crown; then being struck, beaten, beard yanked out, spit upon by foreign oppressors
• needing a stranger's help to carry your load
• 3 hours of excruciating physical pain on the cross, while your mother and supportive women watch and cry
• being shamed in public, knowing that shame will be applied to your family and friends
• calling out the Psalms to focus on God's plan instead of your human desires
• letting go of human desires and life itself, to do the work of God - the work that God could do only through you

I am in tears when the reading finishes. What amazing love! What a sense of mission!

What parts of Easter speak loudest to you? What in your Passion week readings brought you to a grateful pause?

Read more:
*Psalm 40:9-17; Esther 8:1-9:17; Romans 10:1-13

*When you said, "Seek My face," my heart said to you, "Your face, O Lord, I shall seek." Psalm 27:8 (NASB)

*Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up,  that everyone who believes may have eternal life in him.” For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in thename of God’s one and only Son. John 3:14-18 NIV

*Jesus came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. And Pilate said to them, “Behold the Man!” John 19:5 (NKJV)

Moravian Prayer: We look at the cross, O Christ, and see your abandoned, broken, suffering face – looking upon us only with love. May we deeply feel your gaze, making us more acutely aware of the pain in our world and your love for all. Amen.