Anticipating God or following him?

Last gasp of beauty: hostas

The Old Testament is full of God's promises.

As I've been reading, I'm struck by two choices people make, believing God's provisions in the present and the future:
1) Bible characters get impatient and try to make the promises come true. Then they blame others for their mistakes:

• Adam and Eve try to gain wisdom by eating the apple. They blame each other and the serpent. They get thrown out of paradise and have to forage for food. They know more, but at what cost!
• Sarai tries to perpetuate Abram's lineage by having Abraham impregnate her maid, Hagar. Sarah blames Abraham for Hagar's pride and mockery and forces Ishmael and his mother into the wilderness. Arab tribes come from Ishmael's 12 sons: the boys and their descendents have been at war with everyone from the very start, yet they became "princes" because Abraham loved Ishmael prayed a blessing over him and his tribe.
• King Saul sacrifices because he gets restless, waiting for Samuel to appear. He claims that he has done what God asked and blames the soldiers for keeping the spoils. Saul loses his trusted mentor Samuel: he never sees him again. God abandons Saul and gives his kingdom to another family.

The patience of God's creation: tall and strong

2) Bible characters work and wait for God to make the promises come true. When they make mistakes, they confess their shortcoming and ask God's forgiveness.

• Noah builds the ark for over a century; finally God gives him the go-ahead and he and his family are spared the floodwaters. If he'd gone in and shut the door before God told him to, the food would have been eaten, most animals wouldn't have been rescued, and Noah would have been confined for nothing. Instead, he and his family become the foundation of human families.
•  Abraham hears God say that he and Sarah would have a son when he's nearly 100; he gives it another go and Isaac is conceived. He lives for 75 more years, long enough to see Isaac marry and begin his own family. (Oh yeah: after Sarah's death, Abraham has 6 more sons by his Keturah and perhaps a few more concubines. Not such a great idea to start the Midianites and create other enemies for Isaac's line. Sigh.)
• David refuses to usurp the kingdom from Saul even when Samuel has told him he's the next king. Even when "God-given opportunities" put Saul into harm's way. Even when everyone's advising him not to waste time. After Saul's death, David waits 7 more years for Saul's family to relinquish control before ruling all the tribes. God says David is a man after his own heart, and that his family's rule will never end.

Our driveway in fall: the leaves
are beautiful even in death

Sometimes it seems like God is waiting for us to seize the moment. To make things happen. To move ahead and MAKE God's promises come true. Yet in doing so, we ruin the opportunities where God intends to do the miraculous, beyond our own abilities or imagination.

Noah is saved. Abraham becomes a great nation. The Messiah comes from "the root of Jesse:" David.

Our driveway in autumn, glorious color
before the grey wait for spring's new growth

What does your future hold? Did God whisper a dream into your heart? You can anticipate it, force it to life, and perhaps spoil its fulfillment. Or you can trust God to make the vision come true in his own time, with his perfect timing, wisdom, and power.

It's your choice. What are you waiting for?

Read more:
*Abram believed the LORD, and he credited it to him as righteousness. Genesis 15:6

*It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3:26

*Stand firm, and you will win life. Luke 21:19 (NIV)

Moravian Prayer: God, we are still and silent and know that you are God. Strong in your assurance, we loudly rejoice your unyielding presence. Be our firm and guiding light. Amen.

The prison of our fears

Speaker and author Carol Kent shared the devastation that followed "life-without-parole" sentencing for her only son. 

"A parent's worst nightmare," she described it. When she finished, she told us, "You can tell me your stories, but please don't say my pain is much worse than yours. Pain is pain is pain, whether that is from illness, financial trouble, or other traumas."

Afterward I talked to our daughter. Kirsten said people often told her that they felt badly for her, "and though we are suffering, we can't imagine going through what you do." (She has severe juvenile rheumatoid arthritis.)

"No one has to go through what I do," said Kirsten. "Everyone has their own pain. There's no comparison between experiences."

Comparing the weight of humanity and downplaying our own suffering sends a clear message to someone in the middle of devastation. "Our hurts are bad, but yours is definitely worse. We feel so sorry for you..."

Such a statement of "comfort" carries the implication that if something even more horrid happens to someone else, this suffering is less than the other person's. Yet, how can we measure the brokenness and hurts? What kind of increment or tool could show the physical, emotional, or spiritual toll of stress, worry, or grief?

"Everyone's cross is shaped to their own back," says my mother, who has gone through many sorrows and trials. She is wise, after watching life go by.

Though not everyone is behind physical prison bars, many of us inhabit a prison of our fears. We worry that life will be too difficult, that good times may not last, or that we are not strong enough to survive the future.

Only God is able to sustain us. "Cast all your anxieties on him, for he cares for you," said the apostle. And, "Think on good things, and be thankful. And God's peace will surround you beyond your understanding." Such inner resilience and trust springs our prison gates open so we walk in freedom, no matter what our circumstances.

Letting go

Amputations are painful. The most curious and devastating effect is the "ghost limb" that continues to itch and irritate.

"That's the one!" my mentor had said, pointing to "Orchestra Pianist" on my checklist of possibilities. We were working through a ministry change, and Margaret insisted I drop activities to take on a leadership challenge.

My heart sank. The orchestra was a weekly family of 30-50 musicians. I had finally learned to sightread, dragged along the score by French horns, violins, and oboes. Now I was to give it up for a new direction.

It took two years of conscious effort to clap and sing with a congregation. I had played piano constantly as a teen and adult, so my fingers daydreamed runs and chords on my lap when we sat and tapped on the back of the pew ahead of me when we stood. My feet still conducted and pedaled the complexities that helped me keep the beat at the piano. But it was a phantom movement. No keyboard sat nearby and no metal feet braced mine for almost a decade.

Then another opportunity opened, and again I practiced (still disliked that as much as ever), played, and breathed music. I fell in love with the choir and looked forward to being part of their community.

Now, after two years, I'm reassigned. Pulling back. Putting aside this season of music to study and work. No more taping pages together because I'm a horrible page-turner. No Wednesday rehearsal and early Sunday run-through. No settling on the bench and letting my fingers decide the patterns for sounds streaming through my inner ear.

It is time to let go. To clap and sing. To tap and wait. To listen and write. To plan and create. To balance and rest.

Ah, but I dread the itch and the irritation of the amputated limb.

Read more:
So what do people get in this life for all their hard work and anxiety? Their days of labor are filled with pain and grief; even at night their minds cannot rest. It is all meaningless. Ecclesiastes 2:22–23 NLT

*And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. Isaiah 30:21

*So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. 2 Corinthians 4:18 NLT

* Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8 NIV