Lent Day 15: Who am I, anyway?

How do you see yourself?

• As a hopeful individual? or as a person with dashed dreams?
• As a failure? or success?
• As a gifted participant in life? or as someone who "never gets it right"?
• As part of a community to which you contribute? or as an outsider?

The way we view ourselves 

influences our responses to life. 

On the negative side:

• If you see yourself as unworthy, you may become a doormat who lets others run roughshod over you (with all the resentment that entails). Or do you blame others when you don't reach your goals? Do you begin your resentments for ill treatment with, "If-only ... ?"
• If you see yourself as a disempowered minority in gender, ethnicity, education, or another qualifier, you may look for offense - often where none is intended. OR have you become an overachiever who tries to get noticed "in spite of" that quality?
• If you see yourself as entitled, you may become a bully. Do you treat others as servants for your wants and wishes?
• If you see yourself as a victim, you may take affront at any slight. Do you refuse to forgive those who deliberately (or otherwise) hurt you, gathering the sins of others into a heap of self-ruin?

On the positive side, walking in freedom, we have been forgiven and set loose from our failures.

• If you see yourself as God's child, you have a Heavenly Father who delights in you. Do you enjoy those around you as God's co-creations?
• If you see yourself as servant of God, you will happily serve others in His name. Do you gladly help others out?
• If you see yourself as worthy of God's attention, the attention of others will only be a bonus if it happens. Are you content with God's approval and surprised when others applaud you?
• If you see yourself as an overcomer, you will rise to meet every challenge with God's help. Do you look forward to new things?

So, how do we change our persistent perceptions?

Covey's Habits (Click for link)

1. Find significance in being yourself. God made you. God loves you. God gives you purpose and meaning.
2. Boost your work with your personality and gifting. If you stock shelves, work an assembly line, are a scientist or an artist, build into your work the things you love. Talk to people (or pray for them) if you're an extrovert. Build your muscles if you're doing physical routines. Learn new things if you're a scholar (wherever you are). Design better ways to do your work if you're gifted in creativity or administration.
3. Look for ways to enhance the work and profile of others. Speak well of people around you. Tell them when they do good work. Let others shine.
4. Bring your spirit as well as your mind and body everywhere you go. Be honest about what you believe without being preachy. If others share their journey of faith (or lack of it), share something about your own walk with Christ. Part of wholeness is bringing all of your self along, wherever you are.
5. Look for the best in your circumstances. Surely there's something good about your life, right where you are now! Count your blessings, name them one by one, says the old song. 
6. Share your gratitude with others. Tell other people what makes you happy and things you are thankful for.

Start today!

Read more:

*But you, O Lord, do not be far from me; O my strength, hasten to help me! Psalm 22:19 (NKJV)

*Joyful are those you discipline, LORD, those you teach with your instructions. You give them relief from troubled times until a pit is dug to capture the wicked." Psalm 94:12–13 NLT

*He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:3-5 NIV

*The Lord is faithful; he will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 NLT

Moravian Prayer: Faithful Lord, help us to remember that when evil surrounds us and when dark thoughts bubble up within us, we can rely on your strength to set us right and see us through. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

Your money or your life #3: What money demonstrates about us

Here's my third question, after we've talked about the ownership and meaning of money (past 2 blogs):

• How does money demonstrate our values? Habitual generosity is more an expression of life than an option or dreaded obligation for God's people. 

I'm going to be honest about our giving, not to boast (horrors) but to show what we've experienced. Paul said others would thank God because of the generosity of God's people: "You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God." (2 Corinthians 9:11) May you experience the pleasures of being part of God's flow of generosity to - and through - you!

Giving seems to be both learned and caught from others. My maternal grandma worked an extra job to support missions. My paternal grandparents helped many immigrants land on their feet, housing them, giving them money, and sharing food from their hobby farm. W's and my parents assumed that since everything belonged to God, we acknowledged that with a 10% tithe - off the top of our income, before spending elsewhere. Generous contributions were given above that for projects, the poor, etc.

My parents, relatively poor when I was born, became wealthier in middle age. They never flaunted their money to us kids. We didn't expect luxury items: Mom sewed our clothes. We kids rarely asked for money and worked to fund our interests. (I started teaching piano when I was 13.) Our folks built a house on a new - but average - street.

I remember the day Dad drove home with a new car. I was embarrassed because it felt too showy. What if my teen peers thought we were putting on airs? I complained to Dad about why on earth we had to drive such a big "boat." He smiled and said that people buying houses through his company wanted to see that he was prospering. His car expressed that.

When their money dissolved in later years, I asked Mom what she missed about being rich. "I don't miss being able to spend on ourselves. With less, it's true that life may feel uncomfortably pinched. I can live with that. But what I really miss is not being able to give during an appeal. We were generous without thinking much about it. Now we have to save and carefully monitor our spending on others. I miss giving."

That captured my attention because it reflected her heart and explained what I'd learned from my folks since childhood: it was fun to give, not just expected of us.

Giving reflects what is important to us. "Look at your checkbook and you will see your values," someone told me when I was in my 30s.

So I looked. Most checks listed the household, books, and donations. I taught piano while our kids were growing up. We'd purchased food, clothing, and kids' music lessons with that income. Called to serve at home and abroad, we tithed and helped fund cross-cultural projects as a normal expression of life.

Later, when I worked full-time for a while, it was pure joy to be a conduit of God's generosity to us! We supported many cross-cultural workers. Now others are investing in us. How cool is that? (Join our support team by asking for information here.)

Giving demonstrates what we believe, not what we say we believe. Let's get personal. Are you giving your life away or hoarding it? Living in community or living selfishly?

What would your friends and neighbors know say if they could see your expense records? What if they could monitor your outings and bank balance?

Does your management of God's resources demonstrate the values you talk about? Do your income and outlay align with the values you aspire to? With the future you dream of and hope for?

Why or why not?

Still thinking about it? Here's another post on learning to give by The Minimalist.

Read more:

*(Paul writes about giving and fundraising:) There is no need for me to write to you [Corinthian church members] about this service to the Lord’s people. For I know your eagerness to help, and I have been boasting about it to the Macedonians, telling them that since last year you ... were ready to give; and your enthusiasm has stirred most of them to action. But I am sending the brothers in order that our boasting about you in this matter should not prove hollow, but that you may be ready, as I said you would be. For if any Macedonians come with me and find you unprepared, we—not to say anything about you—would be ashamed of having been so confident. So I thought it necessary to urge the brothers to visit you in advance and finish the arrangements for the generous gift you had promised. Then it will be ready as a generous gift, not as one grudgingly given.

Generosity Encouraged

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written:

“They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor;
    their righteousness endures forever.”

Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! 2 Corinthians 9 NIV

Unsatisfied? Reconsider self-gifting

An NPR comment caught my ear: "Self-gifting is a new thing. People would never have purchased for themselves fifty years ago! That would have been considered a lack of humility."

Humility is hardly a valued characteristic in a generation that grew up singing, "I Did It My Way," or their children who hummed along to, "Break Your Heart." It's all about me, my values, my wants. MY presents! Even if I buy them myself.

Around Thanksgiving I decided to "fast" from shopping until after Christmas. Our kids could pick ornaments, china, electronics, crystal, or chatchkis from our house if they needed more stuff. They sure don't want my husband or me buying junk to pile on top of their things, no matter how nice we think that junk is or how much we spend. Do your family and friends feel the same?

I can't tell you how often I've clicked out of an online shopping cart since my spending fast began. Or how many times I've forgotten and purchased a trinket or indulgence. Last weekend, I splurged on salted caramel handmade chocolates. Not because I needed them but because my eyes desired them and I forgot about my fast. Consumerism makes it easy to splurge on self-gifts: "You deserve this." "You have looked for this for a long time." (Do three weeks feel long to you?) "It's on sale." Etc.

In contrast, God's self-gifts are unlike ours. He doesn't look for His own advantage, for what we can give Him. Instead, He spends Himself freely on us as a response of His loving character. He wants to be with us. He cherishes the creatures He has made enough to reach out to us through Jesus (aptly cliched  as "the Reason for the season.")

God refuses to be our Gimme-Genie. The biblical writer James warns, "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." (James 4:3)

I've asked God for a lot of things: health, safety, money for school, and peace in the family. He's often responded with, "Yes, gladly!" But not always. Sometimes we get sick. We run out of resources. Relationships churn through difficult times. God doesn't always give us what we think we deserve or want. Faith demands trust in a God who knows what is best and right for us and those we care about.

Instead of spending money and resources on our pleasures, shall we consider giving ourselves away this month? After all, when we belong to God, we should imitate him in all things. We can gift love to the unlovable. Justice instead of self-service. Mercy instead of punitive action. Grace to the most undeserving. Friendship with the unlovely. Generosity to the poor.

That kind of self-giving is ultimately satisfying and soul-filling. Plus you skip the huge debts and financial self-immolation that hits after the holidays are over. What do you think?

Read more:
*You are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all day long. Psalm 25:5

*Christ says, “Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.” Matthew 7:7

*Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” John 6:35 NIV

*[In the last week of his life, Jesus said,] "Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." John 16:22-24

Moravian Prayer: O God of our salvation, eternal hope and source of strength, let our lives be a response to your steadfast love and grace. Amen.