Lent Day 8: Just pretending, or Liar Liar

This is a repost of an earlier blog, even as I'm examining my own life during Lent for integrity and truth-telling. Hope you enjoy it. RK

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Do you ever feel like your whole life is one big hideout? Like you're just pretending to be a real person? "Could you live unveiled? Or do you feel forced to pretend?" That's what I've been asking myself.

I read this in the morning:

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
And we all, who with unveiled faces reflect the Lord’s glory,
are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, 

which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:17-18 NIV

That got me thinking about what it would be like to live "unveiled." 

I found a few interesting studies about living untruthfully:

• All of us lie. 
• We lie often.
• Kids learn to lie from watching their parents.
• We invent many excuses for telling lies.
• Lying becomes easier with practice.
• Books on lying have become best-sellers: the subject is compelling and universally practised.

Are you comfortable telling the truth? With having others know everything about you?

My college roommate is one in a million. She decided a few years ago to be honest about everything. Spending time with her is refreshing.

Though she's very nice about it, she's willing to be known as herself, rather than hiding behind PC assumptions. She's not mean, but if she isn't interested in seeing something, she'll let you know. If she doesn't agree, she says so. If she wants to do one thing and not the other, eat a particular food and not another, go here but not there ... just ask her. She'll tell you.

"What do other people think about you being so honest?" I asked her.

"Some people like it and some don't," she admitted. "But I live to please God, who is Truth. This is who I am. Who God made me. And I am willing not to be liked when I tell the truth."

What liberty! How would my unveiled face look to my family? To my neighbor? My coworker? My friends at church? The teammates where I volunteer?

In what ways have you told the truth or concealed it? What were the consequences?

Read more: 

*The Lord is coming to judge the earth. He will judge the world with righteousness, and the peoples with equity. Psalm 98:9 NLT

*My heart, O God, is steadfast; I will sing and make music with all my soul. Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn.

I will praise you, Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth. Psalm 108:1-5 NIV

*I love the LORD, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. Psalm 116:1-2 NIV

*Jesus said, "My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to complete his work." John 4:34 NLT

*See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure. 1 John 3:1-3 ESV

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An anonymous poem found in her mom's old Bible, shared by my friend Sylvia Stewart: 

I am not strong till Thou has clasped my hand,
I am not fit till by Thy side I stand,
I am not brave till Thou hast come to me;
Till Thou has bound me fast, I am not free.

Moravian Prayer: Lord, we wait for you. We know you are coming for us. We know that all things come from you. We are thankful for your presence surrounding us. Grant us wisdom to see your work in us today and every day. Amen.

Church-going liars

 A recent study on church attendance says we're big liars. We say we are in church, but really, we're staying home. Canadians (my tribe) are second only to Americans in "inflating" their attendance.

The study also found that half of Canadian teens "never" go to church, while 25% of adults admit the same. And though many of us claim to be "churched," we avoid going to services. Why?

Here are some contributing factors I hear about or experience: (I'll put these in the first person, though not all are my experiences.)

1. What about the Bible? We haven't heard more than a few verses over the past few months. Nothing they talk about afterwards has anything to do with those verses. Mostly, our pastor posts the references on the screens and hopes we read it ourselves. 
2. Church people assume we know what they're talking about. They use words they've never explained to us. Their ideas of "holiness" and "partaking" and "fellowship" seem weird since we don't know what they mean. Why can't they talk like normal people?
3. We make the effort to get to church on a Sunday when our neighbors are sleeping in. We expect to make friends with other attendees. But we don't know anyone personally, even after months of attending. No one seems to notice or care if we're there or not. Sure, the greeters shake our hands and smile as we come into the foyer, but my family and I sit with people we don't know. They barely acknowledge our existence. Everyone lets us walk out the door without another personal interaction. (Oh, maybe the greeters wave at us as we leave.)
4. We're not used to karaoke, but we hum along with the band on the stage. It's a bit uncomfortable, but not a big deal - no one else is singing. Most of us are staring at words on a screen while we enjoy the music and watch the performers. The singers are in their own world, lifting their hands, swaying, talking at us from a distance. What's the point for us?
5. We've come because of a Christian holiday we remember from another tradition (maybe when we were kids), like Ash Wednesday, Lent, Easter, Pentecost, Advent, or Christmas. We remember these times as sacred highlights for Christians, but our church acts as though it's just another Sunday. (Easter and Christmas may be the exception, though some Christmas performances are more like a Broadway musical than religious ceremonies.) 
6. Where's the mystery? The grace? The supernatural? We're disappointed when God and Jesus are passing ideas in the weekly lecture and musical show. Why bother showing up? The plays, bands, and lecturers are better in theaters and concert venues.
7. We really want religious instruction. We thought maybe Jesus would inform our journey, messed up as we are.  We were hoping the Bible would get us back on track or at least bring peace. But the speaker reads a few verses or a paragraph from the Bible. Then he or she gives suggestions for family life from pop-psychology or offers ideas for financial success and happiness from self-help books. (We can read that kind of advice anywhere. And let's face it, Oprah has way better self-help guests and gurus on her show than our local church does.) We're starving for biblical content. We wish a thoughtful, life-long student of scripture would show up week after week. Maybe he or she could help us understand what the Bible says about God and Jesus so we could apply his wisdom to our lives.
8. Our pastor rides a hobby horse. He seems interested in a few of Christ's teachings, but doesn't talk much about the rest of what Jesus said and did. Besides, the people we know from church don't live out what they hear in real life. I know some who lie, steal, cheat... but smile and shake hands with everyone at church as though they're perfect. They disappoint us and we don't want to hang out with them.
9. We let someone know when we were ill/ having a baby/ having a family crisis/ lost our jobs. No one called or came to visit.
10. What difference does it make if we show up or stay home? It's easier to sleep in or skip. No one will know the difference. 

A dozen more excuses come to mind.

But let's be honest. In a healthy family, everyone participates rather than acting like spectators. We show up for meals because we're part of the family. The food's not always great (especially if it's our turn to cook). Not everyone is happy or cheery all the time. Along the way, we learn to do chores and lend a hand rather than expecting everyone to focus just on us.

If we go to church, let's participate in a community of faith. Nourish and care for others as well as enjoy the benefits. Ask good questions and find answers in Scripture. Support the community financially, spiritually, and socially as the friendly, generous, and welcoming person who invites strangers into the Family.

See you Sunday!