Friends who become family

Wednesday, August 13, 2025

It's been a while since we hosted over 100 people in a week, but here we go.

Movie night? We look forward to the evening. However, it means getting out of bed by 5 AM to cook. When I reach the back kitchen, W already has a bit pot of water boiling for 3 kg (6.5 lbs) of spaghetti. After that's done, the same water is used for vegetables (cheesy cream sauce is made while I wait). Finally the bakso (meatball-like flour balls) are boiled, drained, and marinaded in black pepper sauce. Whenever a utensil needs a rinse, it goes into the water. We end up with a rich broth for the helpers to take home.

While food is boiling, I bake sausages (curry sauce) and chicken nuggets (sweet and sour sauce). They're stored in the oven or covered with thick towels so they stay warm all day. Here, no one gets sick from food that sits on the counter all day in 80o (27oC) heat. 

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Today I only need to make a few sauces. I double the recipe for curry and black pepper sauces every second month and freeze them. Today I thaw last month's extras so I'm finished with the stove by 8 AM.

The cutlery, tablecloths, and trays come out. I write a list for the helpers (cut fruit and salads, cook rice, bake cheese balls, etc.) They probably know all that, but a checklist doesn't hurt. 

While W makes a trip to town, I postpone my nap in case our passport courier comes by. But our renewed Canadian passports are delivered in the afternoon.

When W returns, I make a simple lunch of warmed-up spinach paneer plus Korean black bean ramen. After writing a bit, there's a little window for a nap.

The mid-afternoon women's study on the next hill is rich in friendship and sharing life. What a blessing to know these women. Tetty, who facilitates today, is a wonderful hostess.

I'm back home in time for last-minute chores. The university students and young adults are usually hungry when they come. For some, it's their biggest meal of the month. For the most part, we've adjusted the seasoning to their taste. Some will add gobs of sambal (hot sauce).

Birthday kids always eat first!

We post labels above the dishes so people know what food they are eating. Most attendees are respectful of the amount specified for the first round through the kitchen. For example, we limit meats to 3 of each kind so everyone can taste them. The hungry can return for seconds, of course.

After years of menu-testing, our "kids" complain if we leave out a familiar dish: "But I was looking forward to the curry sausages (cheese balls, green salad, etc.)! I can't believe you didn't make it this time." So I cook the same old same old: (*prepared by the helpers when they arrive at 3 PM)

• roasted potatoes
• spaghetti
• creamed vegetables
• curried breakfast sausages
• black pepper meatballs
• sweet & sour chicken
• rice*
• mayo eggs*
• cheese balls*
• green salad*

What's for dessert during intermission?

• cookies
• banana bread
• chips and snacks (lots today! = whatever they bring to share)
• fruit and yogurt*

Usually the helpers take leftovers home for their families. Tonight we set some food aside for tomorrow's dinner. I cooked extra portions to make sure there's enough for today and tomorrow.

The tables are noisy and interactive. Later, a few people tell us about their new acquaintances and making new friends.

21 countries are represented and about a third of attendees are first-timers. 120 people signed up between Monday and today so many did not get to come. 

People on the waiting list are happy when someone drops out and they move into the guest list.

The Porch is full, too. The breeze cools the garden and the house.

The movie is a hit! "Lion" examines the longing for family. We ask these questions at the end: "what kind of family do you want to build in the future?" And, "how will you work toward creating a family that cherishes each member and wants to stay connected?"

There's a slough of selfies at the end.

Wait a minute or two and a crowd rushes over to be in the photo.

It's the liveliest and most emotional movie night to date. Many talk about the meaning of family and how they appreciate being our "kids" (after they've been here 3X.) We affirm their good decisions and pray for them throughout the month. The last person goes out the gate and we lock up after 11 PM.

Thursday

All hikers cancel or are unavailable so W and I head uphill together for a 4 km walk with Anton on the leash. The neighborhoods are being dressed for Sunday's Hari Merdeka (Independence Day.)

Kiki, Veronica, and Troy join us for lunch at Hidupan, a downtown restaurant with an excellent vegan buffet. We're celebrating Kiki's return to health after a fall and serious concussion.

The helpers go home at 3 PM as usual. I rest before heating up main dishes and arranging desserts. Will there be enough food? I cook another 1kg/2 lbs of spaghetti and sauce, just in case. Before guests arrive at 5:30 PM, the dishes and serving pieces are out, the tables are ready, and recycling pails are in place. 

Everyone brings food to share - it's good to have extra bowls and serving trays! The tables fill with almost 30 people.

The travelogue is fascinating! Chandra and Titik use maps, photos, and videos to bring their trip to life for us. 

I listen as I bag up the leftovers and tidy the kitchen.

The evening wraps up before 9 PM with warm goodbyes and the leftover food gone. What a privilege to have a venue to host friends.

Friday

We have a good walk - the weather is perfect, 20oC/68oF, and the breeze is cool. We meet 1-year-old beagle Molly, who is up for adoption to a good family. (Contact me if you're interested.)

They're making steady progress on the project.

More spaces are cleaned and cleared out.

Painting is ongoing and systems that were ripped out are being replaced. We need replacements for cabinet hardware that's been stolen.

I have to put on a sweater: it's too cold to sit on the Porch without it. The chimes sing, the birds chirp, and the dog keeps bringing back a ball to throw. 

I talk to Mom, who reminds me that I used to set the table when she had people over. I'd tidy the kitchen and do dishes for her like IbuS is doing for us this morning. "I sure missed you when you married and moved away," Mom says. "Suddenly here was no one to help when people came over."

My hosting DNA was passed down by my mom. The skills of making people "feel at home" were learned from watching her, my aunties, and the grandmothers host big and small gatherings in their homes. However, they didn't have the resources we do now. Everything was cooked from fresh ingredients and food they canned or pickled themselves. Their homes were small and their kitchens limited. We squeezed in and made fond memories anyhow.

Read more:

*Just as I have watched over them to pluck up and break down, so I will watch over them to build and to plant, said the Lord. Jeremiah 31:28

*You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written: “‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.’” 

So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. Romans 14:10-13

*For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all, training us to renounce impiety and worldly passions and in the present age to live lives that are self-controlled, upright, and godly. Titus 2:11-12

Moravian Prayer: God of compassion, forgive us when we get distracted by the things of this world and fail to set our sights on you. Help us remember these things are fleeting and do not last, but your love is forever. Amen.

Movement and movie night

 Thursday, July 4, 2025

We decompress after movie night with a hike in the mountains. Last night, the house was full of fun and young people. Once they get dinner from the kitchen, they head onto the Porch or into the living room to eat.

We've gotten to know some of them over the years.

This lovely gal is moving to Jakarta to join her identical twin, who has found work in the big city of 30 million.

It was a late night with the last guests leaving at 11 PM. We woke early to go hiking in the forest. The mushrooms are out in abundance.

It rains overnight but we decide to go up into the mountains anyway. It clears up - before the clouds roll across the tea plantations.

We have a very pleasant walk - 

There are new grass heads along the trail, wildflowers, and branches to duck under in the forest.

It starts to rain as soon as we're in the car. Thank you, God, for wonderful weather on the trails.

For lunch we return to a restaurant with a good Chinese-Indonesian menu. We haven't been there for over a year. I step back to look at the beautiful setting. So many of these places are destinations for weekend tourists but we pass them each Thursday on the way to and from the mountains.

Our friends know people in common from 35 years ago. It's amazing how small the expat community is.

It's faddish to have animals in a restaurant, and this one is no exception. There are bunnies, lizards, and a small crocodile.

This creature is about 6' long (including tail) and roams around his cage before climbing back in.

After, we take friends to the project. A little booth and drop ceiling have been removed from a corner.

The pillar remains for support.

A flimsy wooden wall is being replaced by bricks. The window and frame are repurposed from the little booth. 

It's satisfying to remove barriers, like the wall between these areas.

Having the cooking area and laundry open to each other will be useful.

W takes Anton to the vet for a kidney and liver checkup after his many meds! The dogs need worming, which is routine here both for people and creatures.

Friday

We're on an old-style (for us) date: to the building center to look at taps, tubs, and tools.

I spot a few new styles of lights.

We have lunch at Mom's Bakery, where the best sandwiches are made.

Saturday

We pack and prepare for the next trip to a conference. "It's gorgeous there," says everyone about our destination. But we meet only one person who's actually been where we're going.

Meanwhile, our loop walk isn't that shabby either. A tree is putting out its new leaves.

I enjoy the colors of nature as we walk.

Sunday

We serve with a fine group of volunteers. It's first Sunday of the month, so we celebrate with Happy Birthdays to July-born friends and guests and pray for a blessing over them.

Read more:

*Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them. He said:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 

Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:1-12

We made it through a week of blessings ...

 Wednesday, May 14, 2025

It's movie night, one of the favorite things we do around here! W's coming from Jakarta with our guests, but I start cooking after 4 AM. By 9, I'm done and everything's waiting to be reheated - sauces, meats, vegetables, potatoes. The rice, salad, and fruit is prepared by the helpers when they arrive at 3 PM.

We have guests arriving. It's a brutal trip to Bandung from the USA, between 30 and 40 hours, door to door. Jennifer, Adam, and W come around 10 AM. Our friends settle their luggage in their room and off we go for brunch at #waroengethnic.

Usually I chill out before movie night, conserving energy after cooking. But there's a women's study on the porch mid-afternoon with tea and cookies. I lay down for a half hour to reset my body and heart but am wakened by a downpour, thunder, and lightening.

Surprisingly, the rain doesn't stop our guests and movie night is wonderful. About 70 drop in for a big supper. Some are soaked through but everyone is happy to be here.

Tonight's movie is Arthur the King, and the question is: "What would make you willing to give up a big dream?" 

The Porch and house overflow with conversation, laughter, and new friendships. What a privilege for us to have people come.

Our friend Bryanna arrived Monday. She catches a ride down the hill with PakG to catch the 10:20 PM Jakarta shuttle. The rest of our guests linger until almost 11 PM. We tumble into bed after basic tidying. I'm getting too old for 19-hour days, I think.

Thursday

We're up again after 4 hours of sleep. Not enough! I cook scrambled eggs and sides. We eat breakfast as we chat around the table.

I want to see if Anton is ready to walk on leash with a group. The Thursday hikers are headed down a riverside trail. But nope! The walking group keeps going as I turn several times to make him pay attention. They pass rather stupid cats on the path; the canines don't walk away as Anton lunges forward at them. He won't return attention to me and is out of control. After the fourth wrestling match, he pulls me almost off my feet. He's a big boy.

Sorry doggie. I walk him back home and leave him there. (I wonder how many times God has a treat for us, but we are too unruly or disobedient for him to release us into the freedom of his generosity.)

W notices I haven't kept up but I have to use both hands to hold the dog and can't return phone messages. When he returns to find me, I'm tying up Anton at the house.

It's not a long walk today (4 miles?) We cross a few neighborhoods to the start of the river trail. On the narrowest part of the path, I chase a kitten off the side so the other dog with us will ignore it. There's a steep drop-off to the river - Anton would have pulled us all the way down the cliff. Oh my.

At first we can't figure out why there are so many food vendors along the path.

Ah. The city has transformed a former shanty neighborhood

with a colorful village-wide mural.

The work of art is worth seeing! with its glorious colors. Besides dozens the cats, we rarely meet more than a dozen people. But today hundreds of tourists are admiring the newly painted views. 

Most are terrified of dogs and shriek or scatter off the walkway as Eva's beautiful labradoodle prances by on the leash. A few locals ask if we can take photos together. Of course. (It's an expat thing: who knows whose phone we're on!)

We end with 2 loops of the forest treetop walk at ITB, Indonesia's top university.

We enjoy a Sundanese buffet (under $5 for a full plate) at Dalaraos and do a bit of grocery shopping on the way home.

After we drop our guests at the house, W and I head downtown. W accidentally wrecked the upstairs refrigerator yesterday. He was chipping off ice that forms when guests repeatedly leave the fridge door open. The coolant hose was severed.

Last time someone forced open and broke the interior freezer door, W posted a sign: "Please be careful. If you break this door, you have to buy a new one." Well, whoever broke it didn't admit it. So we're stuck with an iced-up fridge (and a broken freezer door for the third time).

We bite the bullet. We need a new fridge with a separate door for the freezer. W sets the budget. After we visit multiple stores and find one we like, it takes 3/4 hour at the cashier to pay. There are 2-5 employees handling every sale, which provides jobs but not efficiency.

We are beat! when we get back after 3 PM. The promise is that the fridge will be delivered tomorrow. I lie down for an hour to catch my bearings. Messages come and go; the most urgent work gets done. I give up on sleep before my alarm sounds.

I accept an invitation to teach another seminary course in July. It's online, thank God. W refuses to teach online because he wants the vibes of a classroom. But I prefer Zoom, when I can see each student. I like that they can send questions without disrupting group interactions or the lecture.

In the evening, we host the first three hours of a conference at the hall. Alice and other helpers have set up the chairs and tables. W sends the driver home, driving himself and our guests for supper and their introduction to the translator. Alice has found an exceptional translator named Shirli.

I walk over after crating Anton. Night falls and when we get home, the dogs are ready for sleep, as are we.

Friday

Mom calls as I'm waking at 5 AM. What a privilege to have our mothers at our age! but it's hard for my mom to remember what time it is at our house.

Anton and I are looping the streets by 6. The banana bread left from movie night becomes breakfast. And then it's time to finish and send off a syllabus for an upcoming class.

The fridge comes as promised, is hauled up the steps by the delivery guys (@$1.50 bonus for each), and is soon humming with cold.

The evening gathering is good, pack with useful information and practice.

Saturday

After a dog walk, I gather flowers from the garden for tomorrow's bouquet. I've caught a second cold from movie night. This one hurts less in my lungs but I'm sneezing, coughing, and generally miserable. I should rest but don't want to miss a thing.

We breakfast on the beautiful grounds of #Narapark before a 6-hr training session at the hall.

We hasten home to meet with an owner and a contractor renovating a property nearby. The gushing rain prevents them from coming for almost two hours. I put out tea and cookies and send some home as usual. The chocolate chip cookies with Kopiko (hard coffee-flavored candy) are a hit.

Sunday

I walk the dog as usual at 6 AM before resting for an hour. W takes the flowers and our guests to the hall.

I walk over to the hall in time to introduce my friend, who is speaking today. She encourages us to live in the kingdom of light, leaving the kingdom of darkness behind.

Remember masking in public during COVID? Yeah, it feels strangely familiar to cover my face with a 4-layer mask to keep the sneezes confined.

Afterward, there's social time around the Community Table before the final few hours of training. 

I sit to the side and enjoy the teaching from a distance.

We eat lunch at Maxis before coming home to rest for the day - it's been a full week of blessings.

Read more:

*Blessed are those who have regard for the weak; the Lord delivers them in times of trouble. The Lord protects and preserves them—they are counted among the blessed in the land—he does not give them over to the desire of their foes. The Lord sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness. Psalm 41:1-3

*I rejoice at your word like one who finds great spoil. Psalm 119:162

*[Jesus said,] "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and reburied; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field." Matthew 13:44 (read the rest of the story by clicking the link)

Moravian Prayer: King of heaven, sovereign God, what greater treasure is there than to serve in your kingdom now, to be with you in the kingdom to come, with all the saints, basking in the light of your love? Help us work in your fields today. Amen.