Down they go!

First meal: artisan toast with
cranberry goat cheese and
pickled herring. (Yes, we're
eating our way through the pantry.)

How did you feel the last time you moved? Was it hard - or a relief - to go through the things that had to be left behind? Was moving away a mind trip? Did you love your arrival and the new place?

Our kids and 2-year-old granddaughter moved in with us a month and a half ago. When we negotiated living together, everyone promised not to push me into an unfinished space: I've done it twice before and it's unsettling (to say the least). So while Timo and W left for work each day, M and I have been doing cooking and doing chores around the boxes (theirs and ours) in the hallways and rooms.

The whole project started in April, after we felt called to move to Indonesia next year. We had an unfinished basement space, impossibly heaped with shelves, boxes, a commercial pool table, and years of unexamined storage. Our kids' lease was expiring in the fall; we'd need a place to stay on furloughs. After confirmation of our appointment, I sold our dining table, movers shifted the pool table into what used to be our dining room, and the project got underway.

A first look at our living room / bedroom

I planned the space while W cleared and sorted and removed. Placing the walls and plumbing on a sketch, I could almost imagine the future. There were a few bumps and re-negotiations along the way, shifts in thinking when building reality leaned against my drawings.

Slowly but surely, a home emerged. W and our son scrubbed 20 years of living off the concrete floors and painted them white. Friends helped plumb, drywall, and paint walls and ceilings the same white color. Our friend Terry wired the basement, asking, "Won't the living room be too bright with six sconces @ two bulbs each?"

I can safely say, "Nope. Just right." I'm not a friend of darkness by day.

Another side of the room

The guys dragged down our bigger furniture, while I made dozens of trips daily between the upper floor and the basement, boxes in hand. There's barely been time to wipe down the emptying spaces. Our daughter-in-law, highly pregnant, is nesting for the baby's arrival next month. She's on my heels with a washrag and vacuum. "I have a thing for deep-cleaning when I move in or out," she says. If we would have moved the normal way, I would have done that for her. Oh well, another casualty of good intentions.

Strangers have come and gone, hauling away our past life. Furniture, rugs, cookware, and decor found new homes through Craigslist and Freecycle, funding our build-out below. Reef tanks, dogs, and "future replacements" for the house ... gone. My brother purchased our friend's grand piano from the living room. Gradually we've emptied the kitchen, bathrooms, and my office.

And a comfy chair behind the
zebra hide footstool.

Monday, I packed the last of our daughter Kirsten's things into our SUV, meeting the mover who was dead-heading a run to Austin, where she lives. We'd loaned K's piano to a family in the next suburb: the mover  pushed the piano up the ramp, loaded her treasures and my Bernina sewing machine into his truck, and pulled away.

We spent our first night downstairs yesterday. The mattress is comfy and we woke when we were rested: there are no windows to tell us when the sun comes up. Before work, W sorts info on his computer, a few feet away from where I type.

Today, it seems farther up two flights of stairs to our bedroom to empty our bedroom closet than it was coming down from upstairs. But that baby and our relocation to Indonesia is waiting for no one. Off we go.

Read more:
*I have ventured to speak to the Lord, although I am but dust and ashes. Genesis 18:27 NASB

*Christ says, "Everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." Luke 11:10 NEV

*Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 NIV

*Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. James 1:2-6 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Loving Father, although we were born from dust and ashes, may we ask for blessings when we are in need. When we seek you Lord, let us find you there. Reassure us that you will answer. Amen.

*(CS Lewis, to Mary Willis Shelburne, June 5, 1961: On being overconcerned about the past of others and of our own.) We must beware of the Past, mustn’t we? I mean that any fixing of the mind on old evils beyond what is absolutely necessary for repenting our own sins and forgiving those of others is certainly useless and usually bad for us. Notice in Dante that the lost souls are entirely concerned with their past. Not so the saved. This is one of the dangers of being, like you and me, old. There’s so much past, now, isn’t there? And so little else. But we must try very hard not to keep on endlessly chewing the cud. We must look forward more eagerly to sloughing that old skin off forever—metaphors getting a bit mixed here, but you know what I mean.

Holding fast

Bolted to the wall, the new pantry:
Timo asks, "Who else has Mexican
chocolate and Asian sauces
on the same shelf?"

I'm reflecting this morning about the things we hold near and dear. There's nothing like a move to create a change in self-identity.

Yes, it's still startling and strange to be introduced as missionaries rather than professor or pastor or writer. What does that tag mean? What will it mean in the future?

We don't know. For now, we place one foot in front of the other. Letting go of the past, embracing today. We think about:

• how grateful we are for everyday things we've considered "normal."
• the security of the familiar, where we live and how our kids grew up.
• the people who partner with us. "Nothing in life is free," says Mom. Others are sacrificing to send us. THANK YOU, thank you! dear supporters.
• leaving behind our parents and children, these dear faces we'll miss and the family events we'll never attend.
• the foods we like - here and there.
• physical necessities and the overflow: how much we can live without!
• people and things we don't know yet. Indo friends. Language. Traditions. Reflexes of culture. Transportation. Living arrangements.
• the chores of relocation, here and there.
• the Joy set before us.

So many more thoughts and shifts in assumptions cross our minds. But we can let go of everything else when we hold fast to God.

What's churning through your mind today?

Read more:
*You shall walk after the LORD your God and fear him and keep his commandments and obey his voice, and you shall serve him and hold fast to him. Deuteronomy 13:4 ESV

*CS Lewis, after his wife's death, from A Grief Observed: "On the other hand, ‘Knock and it shall be opened.’ But does knocking mean hammering and kicking the door like a maniac? And there’s also ‘To him that hath shall be given.’ After all, you must have a capacity to receive, or even omnipotence can’t give. Perhaps your own passion temporarily destroys the capacity.

"For all sorts of mistakes are possible when you are dealing with Him. Long ago, before we were married, H. was haunted all one morning as she went about her work with the obscure sense of God (so to speak) ‘at her elbow,’ demanding her attention. And of course, not being a perfected saint, she had the feeling that it would be a question, as it usually is, of some unrepented sin or tedious duty. At last she gave in—I know how one puts it off—and faced Him. But the message was, ‘I want to give you something’ and instantly she entered into joy."

On the move

All stages of bloom, seen on my walk

We're tired but happy. We met wonderful folks at Northport church Sunday morning and at their potluck, and then spoke with a great group at Colville that evening. We didn't deliberately plan our conversational style as we invite partners for going to Indonesia. But we've been married 36 years so we know each other well; we also enjoy public speaking. It's comfortable for us to trade information and we've heard favorable comments about the duet style.

Pastors Erik Ramsey and Travis Lisenbee love their congregations - and it shows. Everyone made us feel at home, down to the cellist Susy (who made me homesick for our family string quartet, growing up.) Our weekend hosts, Mel and Connie, offered us a comfy bed and a warm welcome. And we met Aunt Eddie of Colville, famous world-over over for her decades of letters to NWMN missionaries.

Learning at LEAD in Lacey, WA

In the last two weeks, we've met hundreds of pastors and staff at four Northwest Ministry Training (LEAD) seminars. What excitement and joy these ministers have in preparing to serve. W led a session on the trustworthiness of scripture and a workshop on using technology for ministry. I shared my passion for writing: how can a blog or other writing further a church's reach? Mel Ming taught on team collaboration and empowerment, all enthusiastically received.

Monday turned out to be a profitable day, even after our morning drive from Spokane. We put up pantry shelves and took most of our food to the basement suite. Except for spices and the fridge, our edibles are in their new home. (Next: dishes and cooking utensils.)

The beautiful sky over Snoqualmie Pass

Downstairs, the kitchen sink and toilet are in (thanks, Rick!) and our friend Bud finished sanding the office drywall. The evening's work turned into a family affair: Timo painted a ceiling and hauled food, W was trimming and painting doors, and I reshelved groceries and washed empty cabinets. Kinsey cheerfully helped until I put her to sleep at 7:30.

On today's to-do list: write a 1500 word article for a magazine, sort out the donation receipting process between American and Canadian organizations, and pack up those spices. It's bit by bit, but at least we're on the move!

Our breakfast view, overlooking
NE Washington mountains

How has God set you in motion today? Or are you on your own trajectory? Remember to invest your time and energy in things that last - and you will have a reward for it.

Read more:
*God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good. Genesis 1:31

*Know that I am with you and will keep you wherever you go. Genesis 28:15 NEV

*Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Psalm 37:5 NEV

*By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to set out for a place that he was to receive as an inheritance; and he set out, not knowing where he was going. Hebrews 11:8 NEV

*To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. 1 Timothy 1:17 NEV

Moravian Prayer: O Ancient of Days, we praise you for your creation of the world and all birds, fowl, animals, and humankind you placed here as well. Empower us to be caretakers and stewards of that which you have given us.

Lord our Rock, help us to be steadfast in faith and to trust that your plan for us is perfect and according to your will. Keep us always by your side. In your holy name we pray, Amen.

Life, more and less

Our friend Lindsey leaves for the Philippines today. We met her at Pre-Field Orientation (PFO) in June. We're praying that she's the same blessing as an elementary teacher as she's been to me already.

On our end, we continue to pare down (5 bags and a skateboard, picked up by the Big Blue Truck today), sell (Craigslist), and give away (Freecycle) our possessions. It's messy work.

Here's a before and after of painting the upcoming bathroom. Friends, kids, and W continue to sand drywall in hopes of painting the basement this weekend. W hopes to put up cabinets soon so I can shift things from our kitchen. The next householders need the space!

In process:
our bath-to-be

What a difference
white paint makes!

Timothy, Melissa, and Kinsey (2) move in this week with the rest of their stuff. A bunch is here: I'm typing and grading Singapore papers on their kitchen table. Their boxes are crammed under the pool table (in our former dining room), sit atop the hutch in the family room, and fill K's future bedroom. The guest room is getting emptier: we moved its futon to the LR; and their bed goes in tonight.

Almost healed: one of the
bruises from having the
futon crash on me last week

I'm almost at a stand-still mentally. Visual as I am, I break into a cold sweat with the clutter of W's 3'X3' book scanner on the window-seat, our Le Corbusier chaise halfway under T's wrought-iron-base table, and my suffering houseplants ... and that's just the kitchen nook, never mind the rest of the house.

Lord have mercy. Thanks for prayers and smiles, hugs, and other comfort from those of you who say, "We've been there. We know. It's not forever." Love ya!

In the middle of this process, I've had a lot of time to reflect on God's character and His priorities:

Just big enough: a little
fridge @$75 from CL

• How God sees us. Each of us is valued and beloved by him. Those unlike us are JUST AS PRECIOUS to Him as we are. He wants a relationship with every one of us, drawing us close through the cross and the power of His resurrection.
• How each person is made. Parts of us reflect God's nature, beauty, and goodness. Other parts need renewal and refinement by God's grace ... day by day, month by month, year by year.
• How we interact with others. Some of us fear closeness and proximity. Some welcome it. Still others don't care one way or another: they easily flow in and out relationships.
• How we perceive and process the world. I'm mostly visual so what I see impacts my inner life. As a musician, I process life by walking over to play piano in the LR corner. I'm missing my well-tuned, beautifully-maintained Bosendorfer already.

  

  Mama-mia! What a mess.

• How we process change and transition. W and I are moving ahead differently. With a full-time job, he teaches during the day. He is occupied with the build-out in the evening, racking up concrete accomplishments at both places. My full-time job - including lots of breaks - includes ordering my surroundings. My biggest accomplishment seems to be learning patience, waiting for others to finish so I can move forward with tasks.
• Routines are important. Our kids came over for lunch Sunday. The normal felt good, pulling out pots, plates, and food, cooking, and eating together. When life is in turmoil, it helps to sit back, relax, and enjoy the familiar.
• God's ways are wonderful, complex, and never quite expected. Reading scripture and praying for others keeps my mind on Him. I'm really happy and anticipating the future, most of the time. (Yeah, I write to process the rest. Writing and making music keeps me semi-sane.)

Read more:

*Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth. Psalm 124:8 NLT

*You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts
in you. Isaiah 26:3 NLT

*Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” NLT

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:17-2 ESV

*At the name of Jesus every knee should bend, in heaven and on earth and under the earth. Philippians 2:10 NLT

Moravian Prayer: Father, help us, protect us, and comfort us. As we walk through your world serving your will we know that you are there with us. Thank you for always being by our side. We are humbled by your mighty word. Amen.

After a week off

I'm back after nearly a week off. Missed you!

The fourposter bed, gone.
We start to sort the room. Ugh.

"Keep the main areas - kitchen, bathroom, and LR - clean, and the whole house looks clean," says my mom.

"Sorry, Mom. The house is a mess." There are boxes in the entry and piles of coats on the sofa. Our life is being sifted. The donation truck comes by again Tuesday, so that will help. Our bedroom turns into a sorting station.

Meanwhile, the basement is becoming the shell of a real home. The Sheetrock has its first and second mud coats. It takes a long time to dry with cement block walls. By week's end, W puts in heaters and a fan, which speeds up the drying process.

Our monstrous fabulous 4' Victorian lamp,
for sale.

• Monday: coffee tables and end tables get picked up. I fill 4 huge garbage bags of clothing out of my closet. I start grading Singapore papers.
• Tuesday: My coaching partner visits at the house; we have so much to talk about, we skip the coaching. My dad brings our nephew Lemuel to NU. I hand over a few sets of towels and bed linens. Yay. More stuff gone. The Blue Truck picks up the donation clothing. Also,  CL-ers buy two sets of stacking chairs. 
• I decide to quit FB for the week. I'm definitely addicted to my computer and have to stay in touch with buyers, but I can live without social media, can't I?
• Wednesday: We wake on a mattress on the floor; someone bought our bed Tuesday and T delivered it to them. It's weird lying 2' lower than our night tables.

  

  A table-full of
  redundant crystal

• Thursday: Breakfast with credentialed female ministers @ 3rd Place Commons. Freecyclers take picture frames and magazines. For supper, W and I cycle the 5 miles I walked earlier to Lake Forest Park. Feels good to be moving.
• In the evening, I crash down the front concrete stairs when the futon frame the guys carry outside topples onto me. Blue bruises. No breaks. Relieved
• Friday: Washer and dryer are delivered. 
• We meet with missionaries from Surabaya, Indonesia, John and Korie Taylor. They are very encouraging and answer a lot of questions about where we're headed. THANKS, you two! Looking forward to working together.
• W recycles a huge TV that's clogged up the guest room for years. He empties the back door closet to create a mini-bedroom (5'X9') for Miss K, our granddaughter.

  

  Goodbye, old friends

• I take the last china teacups, crystal, and Hummels out of the hutch and a young couple hauls it away. The dishes sit in forlorn heaps on the kitchen table. By next week, we'll have to clear away everything so a two-year-old explorer can't break it. Our kids move in next Saturday.
• Saturday: T brings more of their stuff over. Freecyclers claim our bedding, picture frames, and magazines. W sells a disability ramp and I sell a closet full of art supplies. My office looks like a dump: everything from the upstairs guest room is being sorted there.
• W and Jono continue mudding the drywall. I pack away crystal glasses and art supplies, and post more stuff on Craigslist.
• We're now on the hunt for a small fridge, 14-18 cubic feet. (No handles please! The kitchen's too small for protrusions.)
• How strange to crawl out of bed rather than climbing down: our fourposter bed was tall. The futon mattress is as low as it gets.

  

  Buying lunch with our little helpers

• Sunday: we get to Creekside (love our church!) and the whole family comes over for lunch. I go a bit crazy cooking in my kitchen for the last Sunday. Thank you, Costco: 3 kinds of ravioli, kale salad, beet and jicama slaw, garlic bread, Alfredo sauce. oooooh - and dessert. We call K in TX as usual: it was her birthday last week. It's so good to hear her voice! and pray together, but we wish she was at the table. Miss K settles right into her nap with Elmo, her doggie, and a stuffed cat. She likes her new "room" (the guest closet) and sleeps for over 2 hours. Good girl!

 I'm astonished at how much furniture flew out our doors in the last weeks. I'd expect the home to be emptier. Except for waking up 8" from the floor, the house still feels full. T and M are gradually transferring their things to our place, refilling emptied rooms.

I'll decide what we're keeping, packing, and giving away once the basement cabinets are in. If something doesn't fit, we can't keep it, whether dishes, furniture, rugs, or clothing. Once we're moved, I'll pack up the rest of the house and the kids can take over.

The kitchen takes shape

Our sale funds buy basement appliances, paint, and building supplies. Two workers from our friend's company come and go each morning. Appliances and cupboards are scattered between a table holding tools. The dust causes me to cough when I view the progress downstairs each evening. A good friend brings by a propane construction heater. W paints the kitchen area and we're happy with those clear warm white walls and floor.

I'm trying not to get impatient, but it will take 3X longer to get things packed up with a 2-year-old helping. I have one more week of grace, but it's a week in which I can't move things any way but out. And so out things go! The less we keep the better.

I wonder about the things we attach ourselves to. Though I've enjoyed the abundance, I've begun to look forward to a pared-down life. The new season is rushing in.

Read more:
*We ponder your steadfast love, O God, in the midst of your temple. Psalm 48:9 NLT

*Let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another. Hebrews 10:24-25 NLT

Moravian Prayer: Oh God, to your temple we come. Where we are, you are. Let us come together in example and encouragement always in your name and following your will. Let our hearts show your Christian love, today and always. Amen.

Flux and flow

A quick respite after moving furniture

Two sons came over this morning. They hefted the massage recliner to the front porch. Then they helped W muscle a 200-lb literature sorter to the entry where Craigslist buyers picked them up. The futon from the upstairs guest room? It's joined two already in the living room. Of course, the coffee table and Corbusier lounger had to be moved into the kitchen to make that happen. Later in the day, a lady buys the 8 French wheat-sheaf dining chairs.

Yup, my house is in turmoil. Stuff is everywhere. There's not a room that's "normal" and I'm starting to lose track of what's where. I had a good cry yesterday while culling my art supplies from a closet. (In future, our granddaughter's bedroom.) So I'm good to go for another coupla days.

Fuller and fuller ...
the family room morphs
and the French chairs disappear

I'm grateful for our kids' help. K, who's moved many times, comforts me over the phone. The boys heave and haul;  R helped me sort and scan hundreds of files.

M is packing up her own house to move over. T's starting to bring their stuff over and push it into recently vacated corners. Let us know if you need anything!

Read more:

*And Jerusalem shall be to me a name of joy, a praise and a glory before all the nations of the earth who shall hear of all the good that I do for them. Jeremiah 33:9 NLT

*See, I am sending my messenger to prepare the way before me. Malachi 3:1 NLT

*John the baptizer said, "One who is more powerful than I is coming; I am not worthy to untie the thong of his sandals." Luke 3:16 NLT

*Exalted to the right hand of God, Christ has received from the Father the promised Holy Spirit and has poured out what you now see and hear. Acts 2:33 (NIV)Moravian Prayer: Holy God, you sent your son to save us. You show us light where there is darkness. Move in our midst so we can see you, feel you, and hear you. Walk with us and be with us as we go forth in Jesus' name.  

God of goodness and grace, let us be your messengers of peace. Send us forth into the world in your name knowing that your presence is with us. Guide us as we prepare the way of the Lord. Amen.

A little birthday party, money, a Tiffany bracelet ... and a bit of freaking out

It's weird to see the 100-foot firs, the traffic moving between the lines, and the big yards and houses after we land uneventfully in Seattle. The 17 hours of travel take us over 15 time zones. I sleep 4 hours on the second flight.

Day and night are flipped (12 hours), and the clock goes back 3 more hours. So instead of 11:30pm when we land (Singapore time), it's 8:30 on Monday morning. Our daughter-in-love Rebekah picks us up from the airport and drives us home. (Thanks a million for that cheerful smile on arrival!)

Our "short nap" around noon lasts 4 hours. The contents of our suitcases lie strewn in heaps in our bedroom. Usually, we tackle the unpacking before everything else. But we may be gone for a few days this week, so what should we take? When the week's plans fall through, the half-done chore lingers.

For supper, we visit the kids and Kinsey, our granddaughter, who turned two Saturday. (The hazards of ministry: we were halfway around the world instead of being at her party.) She's surprised to see us but happy at her presents, a walking bike, some hair clips, and the most fun of all - squeaky Miss Kitty shoes. With every step, she "peep"s at us.

Once K figures out where the noise is coming from, she runs across the room, then stops and stamps her heels. "Peep, peep, peep!"

On this trip, we couldn't find squeaky shoes in any shops. We'd first heard them on little kid feet five years ago, but they're an old and forgotten trend. Sunday, our last evening in Singapore, a little boy runs past me in the food court, squeaking happily.

I chase after his mother: "Excuse me, where did you find his shoes?" She points me vaguely in the direction of the vendor: "Store here. Straight, then right," and off they go. When W returns from a haircut, I tell him, "We found those peeping shoes!"

We go round and round Tampines Market Center until we find a little shoe store at the back. The man points us to several squeaky shoes. Of course, the one in K's size is the most expensive. But she's our granddaughter. What can I say? [Once we're back in Seattle, I find a few online vendors. Trust me, these are a riot, though they look innocent enough!]

Sleeping beauty

Kinsey cries at bedtime. I pick her up. "Zeit zu schlafen!" I tell her (time to sleep). She settles immediate at the "hi-a hi-a" every German mother knows, accompanied by pats on the back. I put her on her pillow, stroke her eyes, nose, cheeks, and ears in our routine, and she falls asleep within a few mintues. Must be Grandma magic. It sure didn't work for my kids.

We fall asleep ourselves under a warm comforter, in a quiet room, at a decent hour and don't wake until 4am. Not bad! The silence is amazing: there are no taxis and motorcycles whizzing by our windows. There's no air-con buzzing and chasing air over our bed and no streetlights shining in the windows ... this is a different quality of sleep.

Tiffany blue heart bracelet: mine
never comes off

Tuesday morning, I meet my accountability group. One woman is having cancer surgery at the end of the month. We have a special treat for her: a Tiffany bracelet like the one they presented to me for completing my doctorate. It's a reminder of our prayers and love for her.

One gal leaves early to catch a flight to visit her children. The other has just spent three weeks hosting her daughter and grandkids. Our prayer requests are many and varied.

One of my requests is for an opportunity beyond W and my comfort zones. We have to raise our support this fall. We'll be in churches and meeting people to share our mission.

"Wait! You want us to start supporting you now?" ask the WPPRs. They're shocked. "We thought we'd help when you leave next year. We've never supported people at home. W is earning a salary. Why should we start now?"

I explain how the organization works: we're not "double-dipping" with a salary from NU and mission money. We have to gather resources before we can apply for our visas. We need $30,000 in the bank and $4000 pledged per month ASAP. Our budget includes travel to teach around Asia, housing, insurance, food, and ministry expenses. We can't go before our account is topped. Of course we'll be contributing to the cash amount also, but we'll live off the monthly support once we're in Asia.

Here's the link to support us now and later: in effect, we're asking you to "Come with us!" We need your help immediately, in getting ready for the future.

Friends are amazing!

In the evening, we eat supper with dear friends. There's nothing as sweet as talking about God and his ways, is there? Before we part, the fellow offers to help build out our space so we can vacate our house. He's experienced at building, quick on his feet, and efficient at getting the job done.

We accept with wonder and appreciation! This saves W weeks of work and frustration. It moves our timeline ahead by at least a month and gives us more time for itineration. Thanks be to God - and thank you, T.

Once home, we take a measuring tape and pencil into the raw space and mark out where walls and fixtures will go. We are both relieved beyond words.

Raw potential: BEFORE
(I'll post the after later.)

I promised to be honest with readers about the process of going next year. The stress of the impending build-out has been incredible. Our kids asked Monday if they can move into our house at the end of August - their rent is accelerating as their lease runs out. "We'll just be guests. We won't be in your way."

I am an event planner. I can imagine days unfolding. It's not going to be 3 guests, detachedly living in a side room while W and I cook, pack, eat, sleep, work, and itinerate!

I'm as bold and as courageous as I can be, while still being polite. I flat-out tell them and W that I'm not leaving here until the build-out for our new space is complete. The young family can stay in our guest rooms, but they can't move in their own things while W and I are packing up the house. They'll have to share our dishes, kitchen, bathrooms, etc. as the house is emptied. OOOOh, that will be messy.

Can you imagine a kitchen,
dining area, and bath here? I can.

Why won't I move into a construction zone? I've done it twice and almost gone crazy. We moved into this house 20 years ago, before it was finished. A few things are still unfinished. We moved into our roughed-in cabin 13 years ago. Living in construction chaos bothered me so much that I quit going up there for a few years. W all-but-finished it in June this year. Now, after this summer, we won't be around to enjoy it.

I'm adamant. "I'm not doing that again. If everyone understands that I can't move into an almost-finished space this time around, you kids can move in with us. Just don't pressure me to leave before Dad's finished!"

W and the kids look shocked at my determination and my ultimatum. Yeah, I am surprised, too.

However, my closest friends and my life coach have insisted that I clarify this survival item ahead of time. Everyone around me knows how visual I am. It's incredibly stressful for me to live in unfinished spaces. I can hardly function. I wander around in a distracted and distressed fog. It's not like W isn't busy without building! His pace of life is hectic and he's at the end of his energy by the time we move. I understand that. W and I know that the pace of building will slow to a crawl once the crisis of moving is over.

Kirsten and little Zoe,
her toy poodle

But I can't do that to myself this time ... not while we're remapping the future, selling off 20 years of accumulations, and packing up ... with a 2-year-old and grown kids underfoot.

Our friend's offer is a godsend.

Our daughter K and her doggie arrive from Texas late in the evening. Once again, Rebekah makes the trek from the airport up to our place.

W and I fall asleep about 1 a.m. In the morning, he's off on an all-day errand with a friend. K and I have a leisurely breakfast and I take pictures of the gleaming white floor, where W and I will soon place our furniture.

Lord have mercy! This process of life-change is as complicated as I suspected.

The unsettling start of goodbyes

Raclette - 2 grills and bowls of food!

I've spent the weekend on retreat with ministry peers. I didn't turn on my phone until I was on the way home. I have someone else's pictures.

We rested, listened for God's voice, and shared our dreams and hopes in ministry, as well as challenges.

We started the weekend with Friday supper: Raclette (photo). It's a Swiss invention, where food is grilled at the table; under the grill little dishes hold cheese melting over potatoes. We took our time meeting each other, getting settled, and relaxing.

Beth Backus maintains a home for an absentee owner. The setting is gorgeous, a modern house dropped into 7 acres of woodland and lawns. Beth has permission to use the house for ministry retreats. She dreams of drawing weary ministers away from their hectic lives for a time of refreshing.

Four of us on her ministry team helped lay out the weekend. Beth invited Karen Porter and Amy to our inaugural weekend. God met us during intentional hours in community. We also spent 3 hours of solitude without electronics! listening to God's voice.

Beth cooked breakfast crepes and her husband prepared a delicious Italian feast in the evening. Karen led in worship with her guitar. We enjoyed Kim Martinez's soup for two lunches.

This morning we celebrated communion. Vicki Judd prepared unleavened bread dough. She showed us how to roll out (crush) the dough. Then we used a fork to outline (pierce) pictures on it.

After the hot bread came out of the oven, we sat down at the table. Each woman shared the symbols on her bread, tore off pieces to share, and then led us in the memorial: "This bread is my body, broken for you. This cup is my blood, shed for you." We ate and drank together each time, relishing the beauty of what we've learned about Christ's sacrifice.

I carpooled home with my friend Kim, then walked into a full house. My husband and our kids were near the entry, wrapping up their birthday party lunch with Waldemar. Two strangers were finishing a set-up in our former dining room: they'd moved our pool table from the basement. (The big round dining table now lives in the family room.)

The new pool room

I'm okay on the outside, but my heart hurts as my house is disassembled. W's finishing out the basement after we return from summer ministry. I'm glad that the kids want to keep our commercial pool table. Plus, we need the space downstairs for our bedroom/living area.

This last week God has made very clear that this is no longer our house. The kids will move in this fall. As we sort what we are selling, giving away, and keeping, the house is in chaos. W's moving things from the basement, his office, and the attic. After class each day, I come home to great progress ... and piles and boxes in the entry and living areas.

I'm a visual person who lives and breathes in spaces. I'm excited to design and furnish the new space. It will be basic and utilitarian, a stopping place for less than a year and later for short furloughs. We don't have money to waste on fancy finishes. However, the process exhausts me, as beloved pieces drift from where they have lived out the door, into other homes. The stuff we're keeping is stuck amid the disorder until the basement is done.

The summer house-sitter comes Friday, when we leave for mission training and our summer assignment in Singapore. I'll leave the craziness behind with relief. For now, each time I walk through the house my heart feels unsettled, mourning the start of goodbyes. This is only the beginning of downsizing and moving away.

I know all the theology. "Life is temporary; this world is not our home."  As I talk to Jesus, I'm asking for a heart that matches what my head knows.

He's the center of everything, and when the cloud or the fire of his Presense moves, we are happiest when we follow. That doesn't mean it's easy.

Read more:
*The heavens will vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment, and those who live on it will die like gnats; but my salvation will be forever. Isaiah 51:6 NLT

*His greatness will reach to the ends of the earth. Micah 5:4 NIV

*Every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:11 NLT

*John wrote: And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.” Revelation 21:3 (NIV)

Moravian Prayer: Lord of all, we recognize every day that Jesus Christ, your Son, is Lord of all. You are ever-present and ever-loving. We are forever grateful.

O God, our God, how grateful we are that you are here among us, dwelling with us, abiding with us, through triumph and turmoil. This world is temporary; our salvation is forever. Thanks be to God! Amen.

Treasures worth investing in

I could only be a minimalist under duress.

Reading "The Joy of Less" by Francine Jay, I'm struck with the weight of our stuff. We are taught from childhood to trade ourselves for items we don't need, whether for their use or beauty. Jay talks about "the freedom of living with just 'enough' to meet our needs."

We covet things, save to exchange our lives for them (time=money), and fill our homes with them. Then we have to clean and maintain them, push them around to make room among our other stuff, store them when we're weary of them, and finally dispose of them. (Or if we're unwilling to do that, our kids or executors are stuck with the chore.)

The first time I remember distinguishing between the beauty that enhances my life and a house full of "pretty things," I was listening to professional organizer Peter Walsh. He was trying to explain to a hoarder that precious items should have a place of honor. That every thing was not important or worth keeping. But in the blank expression and distress on the person's face, I saw the same initial incomprehension I was feeling. Wasn't all the stuff I had pleasing to me? Useful? Or at least pretty?

As a follower of Christ, I'm obligated to keep my heart free from the love of acquisition. I'm not permitted to tie myself greedily to things. Jay asks in her book, "If someone offered you a great job [/ministry] if you could move across the country in 3 days, how would you respond?"

Would you or I:

• leap at the opportunity, thank God, and pack a few boxes?
• spend sleepless nights and days packing and sorting ... and fretting?
• decline because there's too much stuff to consider moving?

I had to think about that. This month, God has brought one thing after another along to encourage and help keep me moving. Some evenings there is more on the floor than I started with. The heaps of things turned out of drawers and surfaces come and go.

Bathroom during cleanup
(I love to read in the tub; I hate to
store exercise clothing in the closet)

Bathroom after
(books put away; clothing
hung on hooks, ready to use)

I've barely started but the weight is lifting. This home took 35 years to fill. Four children have grown up here and their residue lurks in the basement along with other forgotten treasures and junk.

How would I think I can sort and free myself from the clutches of memorial waste in a month, baring a catastrophe? I can watch people lose everything in an instant via BBC and Japan News. On my monitor, people run from war and floods and earthquakes with only their clothing and a small sack of belongings. Why do we think that could never happen to us? That we could never live without our possessions?

In contrast to the things we've been trained to value, what does God tell us to fill our lives with? Truth, wisdom, discipline, good judgment, relationships. Those cannot be taken from us by feast or famine. These things will remain.

Back to work, then!

Read more:

*Get the truth and never sell it; also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgment. Proverbs 23:23

*God is wise in heart, and mighty in strength—who has resisted him, and succeeded? Job 9:4

*Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21 NIV

*Who indeed are you, a human being, to argue with God? Romans 9:20

Moravian Prayer: Mighty God, thank you for being available for us; forgive us when we fall and come short of your glory. Father, we ask for a fresh anointing on souls today, that we may experience your Holy presence in our lives. Amen.

Walking fool

“It is good to collect things, but it is better to go on walks.” Anatole France

Do you walk regularly? Whoever Anatole is/was, that’s good advice. The American lifestyle demands a car culture. (NY and a few other urban centers are the exceptions.)

The grocer is a few miles from our house. It’s a long way to the pharmacist or pet store. Our friends may not live in our neighborhoods and church may be 15 minutes away – by car. Shopping malls have big parking lots to host vehicles for those who come from a wide radius from the stores.

A car makes the trip convenient – and if our loads are heavy, makes errands possible. So, some of us don’t walk further than from our house to our car to the office or shop. Ever.

And our bodies suffer. “Every hour, take a break from sitting,” experts say. “You need the circulation and the movement.” Yet who remembers to leap from the chair to stroll around the building or neighborhood? My mom does. At 77, she takes several walks a day to keep her spine straight and energy high. Sometimes Dad walks along with her – he’s 80 today and fit as the fiddles he loves. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, POP!)

The dogs and I walk almost every day at home, rain or shine, usually 1-3 miles. I hate our climb up our driveway to the steep street that gets us to the flat mountaintop of our neighborhood. “Do it for the dogs,” I tell myself. Actually, the dogs get me moving = my reason for having a dog, besides companionship.

Here at camp, I’m a walking fool. Each morning I walk my dogs just over a mile to the post office to deposit a postcard or letter. I try not to get into the car unless I have to, fending off runs to the store (“Can I do without that?”) or local attractions (“Do I really want to see that?”) If we want to visit, want to use wifi at the lodge, or otherwise decide to get out of the cabin, we walk. The gravel roads are good for the feet and bad for my shoes, the sharp pebbles wearing through the soles.

Walking provides stimulation for the eyes and a rhythmic meditation of breath and muscle. 20 minutes nearly a day, with a ½ hour walk once a week, should begin to heal and nurture your body and refresh your soul. Your body and soul are the only ones God gave you. Take care of them!

So why are you still sitting there? Get moving!

Read more:

*Does God not see my ways, and number all my steps? Job 31:4

*But you do see! Indeed you note trouble and grief, that you may take it into your hands. Psalm 10:14

*Jesus saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. Mark 6:34 

*For all of us must appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each may receive recompense for what has been done in the body, whether good or evil. 2 Corinthians 5:10

Moravian Prayer: We know that you are always with us, O God. Be with us today and every day as we go through life, and help us remember to live as your children, until we see you face to face.

Lord of compassion, we sense the needs of many we pass on the street but do nothing to help. Your sensitivity and concern as the great Shepherd is always at work. Hear our prayer, O Lord. Amen.