"We have at least a few options..."

"We can do this a few ways," I say to my husband and son. They're manhandling a 100 lb. coffee table into the house. Where to store it? It could go here ... or there. Well, maybe not there. A Coach store display table in white lacquer, it's commercially sized at 30"X72". I like it!

The new space is evolving in my head, funded by things we've sold. Right away, I can see that the table rules out our cream sofa slipcovers. (No biggie. Add those covers to the sale pile. Our other colors will look great.)

When I encounter a problem or an opportunity, my instincts leap forward to possible solutions. The desired outcome may have been loosely or tightly framed. However, the journey toward it and even the goal continues to evolve until we're done. I've found that the sum of the parts is often more than predicted! (And it's nearly always different than expected, unless we're willing to fight for exact outcomes.)

The perch for our
greenhouse, as it was
disassembled (BEFORE)

The new backyard ramp
(AFTER)

An example? I've visualized our backyard as a broad patio area, landscaped with planters, a greenhouse, and outdoor seating. The space remained an untamed buffer on the border of the forest, the greenhouse an outpost in an unruly green sea. W or the boys weed-whacked occasionally to keep the foliage from overrunning the house. Our sons beat back encroaching blackberries and reeds every spring.

Goodbye, chaises!

Yesterday, the fellows who brought in gravel and sloped the yard for accessibility redefined the space. We won't be here long and it's functional. Forget the planters, pavers, and evenings on the edge of the forest! We sold our chaises last night.

W has a few more loads of wood and basement leftovers to take to the dump, which will improve the view. We gained an extra parking space at the end of the driveway. W's happy about it; I'm shedding my ideals and getting ready to move away.

Outside, lightning is flashing. Thunder rolls in through the screen door. The rain taps the skylight and saturates the deck. It's a new day, with time to pack up a few more boxes, meet with peers in ministry, and ask God for favor in bringing buyers for what we no longer need. I'll maybe even get in a walk with my granddaughter. Sip a few cups of tea between everything.

C. S. Lewis made an interesting observation about times of discomfort and transition:

The Christian doctrine of suffering explains, I believe, a very curious fact about the world we live in. The settled happiness and security which we all desire, God withholds from us by the very nature of the world: but joy, pleasure, and merriment, He has scattered broadcast. We are never safe, but we have plenty of fun, and some ecstasy.

It is not hard to see why. The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and pose an obstacle to our return to God: a few moments of happy love, a landscape, a symphony, a merry meeting with our friends, a bathe or a football match, have no such tendency. Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home.

From The Problem of Pain

Read more:

*Lead me in your truth, and teach me. Psalm 25:5 NLT

*Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go. Isaiah 48:17 ESV

*Jesus says, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. ... Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:6, 27

Moravian Prayer: Our Guide and Sustainer, you are the beginning, the end, and everything in between. You are the perfect mentor, the perfect companion, and the perfect counselor. Help us always to rely on your wisdom. Amen.

Lent Day 16: Get moving!

What a smart man:

Find "Daily Thoughts" from Real Simple here.

Do you crave safety over activity? Prefer to stay where you feel secure rather than venture into the unknown?

For some, a difficult past produces fear about what lies ahead. I had a wonderful childhood. My affirming parents said, "Go ahead and try it!" when I wondered if I could do something I hadn't yet tried. (Mind you, to this day Dad's still learning new things!)

If you're stuck and cautious about what the future holds, consider the following:

1. God knows your past. Your present. AND your future. Nothing surprises him about you as you were, the way you are now, or what you are becoming.
2. God is strong enough to be in control of what's coming. He is able to see you through the best and worst of times. His control oversees the actions of others, too.
3. God is all-wise. If you depend on him, he will steer you through the unknown with perfect wisdom. Because you're human, you may make mistakes. But nothing will steer you so far away that he cannot retrieve you and your situation.
4. God likes - and loves - you. He works all things together for those that love him, to those who are called according to his purpose. (Read Romans 8 for the full scoop.)

If you've committed your life to God, decided to follow and obey him, and have begun to love him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, remember this: He's in charge.

When you feel overwhelmed or frightened, remember that everything is in view for Him. And everything is under HIS control. When our granddaughter was learning to negotiate stairs, she held tightly to our fingers. When she'd slip or take too big of a step, we'd close our hands over hers and keep her from falling.

Step out in obedience and see how God's hands hold you safe. (He's more capable and even more loving than a grandparent!)

Act with confidence, not trepidation. Do your research. Be wise. Then leap into this life that is the adventure of faith! You'll be happy to know that "You're not in Kansas [nor in the same-old same-old life] anymore."

Read more:
*Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for I pray to no one but you." Psalm 5:2 NLT

*O God, do not keep silence; do not hold your peace or be still, O God! Even now your enemies are in tumult; those who hate you have raised their heads. Psalm 83:1-2 NEV

*I will go in the strength of the Lord God; I will make mention of your righteousness, of yours only. Psalm 71:16 (NKJV)
*The Lord is not slow about his promise, as some think of slowness, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish, but all to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9 NEV

*Christ was crucified in weakness, but lives by the power of God. For we are weak in him, but in dealing with you we will live with him by the power of God. 2 Corinthians 13:4 NEVMoravian Prayer: With the power of your word, O God, you spoke the universe into being and raised Christ from the dead. Help us always to act with the knowledge that our strength comes from you.

God of all time and eternity, we your human children scurry around frantic with anxiety in the face of opposition. Teach us your patience and assure us that the final victory is yours. Amen.

Lent Day 7: Life in test mode

 I failed a test this week. I prepped for it, stepped up to the plate, and fell flat over my sneaker laces. Maybe you've been there:

• When you miss a deadline, do you beat yourself up for it? 
• If someone comes in the door and your entry is a mess, do you fret for days? 
• If a deadline seems out of reach, do you give up instead of pressing on for one more try?
• You had a great opportunity and it flopped. Now you are scared to try again.

 One of the hardest tasks for goal-setters and high achievers is self-forgiveness. Letting go of failure. Looking beyond the obvious miss to a possible future win.

"Always Hopeful" by Toni Grote

We sometimes find it easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves. Is there something in your past (or in the day) that you need to release in order to move forward?

God has completely forgiven us through Jesus Christ. That means he does not remember our sins against us. He knows we have messed up (there's no God-amnesia, after all!) but he doesn't hold our past against our future.

Consider doing the same for yourself today. Learn from the past. Let it go. Then look to the future with hope and a sense of possibility.

Read more:
 *The Lord says, "I will not continually accuse, nor will I always be angry." Isaiah 57:16

*Jesus said to the paralyzed man, “Friend, your sins are forgiven you.” Luke 5:20

*Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Forgiving Savior, as we journey through this season of Lent, our hearts are overwhelmed with awe and gratitude for the patience and love you show us. Bless us always thus, we pray. Amen.

At just the right time... the happy toppling of strongholds

Got an unrecognizable spiritual block? In a funk and stuck? Yeah, me too.

God responds to our prayers and requests, often surprising us with unexpected grace. Sunday was one of those mornings for me.

I almost skipped church. Our granddaughter, on a sleepover overnight, had a cold and probably should stay in. However, I had promised to volunteer before the first service so my husband stayed home with Kinsey. Off I went.

I'd puzzled over a blockage in my spiritual progress during the past few years: what was keeping me from wholeheartedly pursuing God? Was I wearing out from studies? At an impasse because that sometimes "just happens?" Or could there be some root cause I hadn't thought of? When I prayed, I remained frustrated at the lack of clarity about moving forward in my spiritual journey.

Don Ross, our lead pastor at Creekside, alternates topical and expository (exploring a book of the Bible) preaching. We're currently in the middle of four weeks about Dealing with your own Worst Enemy: how to leave behind the past to freely embrace faith and practice. Last week, he talked about confessing our sin and sins as a release from guilt. Very cool and interesting. I thought about the talk for a few days.

Cain and Abel: Durer woodcut

This week, Don poured scriptures over our heads again. Using Genesis 4, the story of the first death--premeditated murder, he examined the  anger that can result from being hurt by others. He talked about bitterness which provides a stronghold for undermining spiritual health. Don spotlighted the power of anger, the choice of forgiveness, and the resulting freedom from hostility, fatigue, and depression. Hmmm. The symptoms sounded like my internal churning at times.

Was I harboring unforgiveness? Had someone hurt me, whom I was "holding to account?" Immediately, I scribbled four names on my note sheet as God brought four events to mind. My writer's hand captured them: 1, 2, 3, 4. What?! That required no effort at all.

Don offered his listeners three practical responses: 1) forgive and move on; 2) consider forgiveness but hold expectations of others (hope they'd admit to hurting us); or 3) hang on to deep hurts.

OUT! GO! GOODBYE! "I'm ready to move on," my heart shouted as my body sat quietly on the back bench.

Happiness and relief flooded me as I drove home. "I almost missed it!" I said aloud in the confines of the car. "I almost stayed home today." Oh, thank God!!! for a word spoken in a season of openness and inquiry.

This morning, the music inside my body plays happy worship. God reminded me how he has continually refreshed my life by taking away such barriers to freedom and ministry:

• As young adults, one of the guys from youth group apologized for his hurtful words, spoken years earlier. I didn't remember at all. His words had fallen to the ground unarmed and he had suffered alone. After I gladly forgave, his joyful demeanor remained in my memory.
• One morning, driving home from an errand, God spoke "forgive, forgive" into my heart. Nothing more, just "forgive." I began considering what that strong urging meant. Later that day I found out one family member's treachery to another. My heart had been prepared. 
• More recently, two of us mutually admitted our lack of cooperation. Since then, we've become friends and I look forward to seeing him rather than avoiding our meetings.

Is a spiritual stronghold taping you to the spot though your feet long to run and dance? Here's what I learned about moving forward:

1. Open your heart to God. Pray. Acknowledge your inability to do life without God's help. Ask him to make the path clear.
2. Participate in a community of faith where God is speaking, ready to hear what God says. I got to church that day because I was "working" that morning.
3. Trust God to approach you when the time is right. He rarely forces his children to obey but provides ongoing opportunities to follow him.
4. Do what God asks. When your heart starts to pound (or your spirit resists) at confrontation with a biblical truth, you get to decide: yes or no? Obey or rebel? The choice is yours each time. If what's right seems too hard or your will stubbornly refuses, ask God's help. He'll strengthen you so you can thrive rather than exist.

Happily removing things that strangle us

Are you ready to release a stranglehold on your soul and walk in freedom? It may take a while to unwind the cords wrapped around you. The God of grace and lovingkindness invites us to become willing to travel with him, step by careful step. He protects us as we walk toward him in newness of life.

Read more:

*The LORD is God, shining upon us. Psalm 118:27

*(God says) "Just like the clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand." Jeremiah 18:6 (NASB)  

*It is God who is at work in you, enabling you both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Philippians 2:13

Moravian Prayer: Work in us, dear Lord. Shape us into the vessel of your will as we do your works of grace. Bend us into your likeness, Lord Jesus and may the Holy Spirit complete in us all your gifts. Amen.

The hard conversations

Have you ever had to confront the past in order to move forward? It can be scary.

I had two difficult conversations this week. Both brought up memories of failure and uncompleted tasks. However, I laid to rest my obligations to be honest about the past with leaders. Thankfully, now it's time to move on.

When we fail, watch a collapse or dissolution despite our hard efforts, get fired from a job, or are prevented from fully using our gifts at work or church, we feel frustrated. Afraid. We may be hurt or disappointed. Grief may overwhelm us when we touch the wounded place.

But slapping a bandage on instead of doing a biopsy may allow the cancer to embitter us against future effectiveness.

Each experience of success or defeat can be a lesson. Wiping the brow and walking away with, "Oh well, glad that's over. Let's move on," doesn't help us. Without a careful examination of the failure, we are no wiser. We remain vulnerable to similar mistakes and blind to our own gifts and weaknesses.

Some of us make assumptions about our strengths. We're not as good at some things as we thought, and a wipe-out shows us that a different ministry or job would be a better fit. Or we're too aggressive in a gifting, overwhelming others and defeating teamwork. We ignore the choppy waves in our wake or blame others.

Some of us make assumptions about our weaknesses. We assume responsibility for failure when someone else may have blocked us from using our gifts. We fear that we are not enough to fulfill God's purposes.

And we're too afraid to ask others to confront us and hold us accountable for failures and successes.

Hey, here's good news. God likes you. He likes me. He actually made us as we are so that we can carry out his own plans. When we fall flat, we must ask others to help us scrutinize what happened. People of integrity are not ashamed to tell the truth about my part in failure ... or yours. I love friends who will honestly point our weaknesses as well as praise and nurture strengths.

Once we know about where we've come from, we can jump into the future with confidence and the release of the past. God's forgiveness and the accumulation of wisdom makes it possible.

What hard conversations do you have to have with yourself and others before you are released into full bloom in the future?

Read more:

*Can mortals be righteous before God? Can human beings be pure before
their Maker? Job 4:17

*The teaching of your word gives light, so even the simple can understand." Psalm 119:130

*The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The LORD watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy. My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD. Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever. Psalm 145:17-21 NIV

*Jesus Christ gave himself for us that he might redeem us from all iniquity and purify for himself a people of his own who are zealous for good deeds. Titus 2:14

Moravian Prayer: Gracious Savior, refresh and purify our hearts and minds to lead us to service in your name. Remind us gently that humility, not hubris is the path to serving you. In Jesus' name, Amen.