Facing our fears

Do you ever feel afraid? Let's talk about that today.

As part of my transparency in this journey toward Indonesia, I admit times of fear. Terror. Dread. Reluctance.

Why? I'm a free-fall planner. That is, I work out details and alternatives in advance. But when push comes to shove, I go with the flow, changing my expectations and responses as life happens.

That doesn't mean I'm always happy with a change of plans. It doesn't mean I don't wonder if things will work out. And it doesn't mean I'm never afraid. (Adrenaline kicks in as the current takes my life-raft down the river. Off we go! The emotions and the possibility of disaster hit me afterwards.) Baring a few crashes, things have worked out pretty well so far.

Which of these common fears has crossed your mind?

• The unknown: what if life is completely different than expected? Can we adapt?
• Expectations: what if we're not good enough? If we don't meet the expectations of self or others?
• Being overwhelmed: what if we get stressed out and can't cope?
• Failure: what if we flop? Miss the mark? Miss the whole target? What happens then?
• Harm: what if we get hurt? Ill? Die?
• Abandonment: what if we're forgotten? "Out of sight, out of mind" became a cliche for a reason.
• Making the wrong decision: what if we take the wrong fork in the road? Can God redeem our mistakes?

Here's what I've learned from facing my own fears:

1. God never changes, though people and circumstances may. "For I the Lord do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed" (Malachi 3:6; also Psalm 90:2); and "Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today, and forever" (Hebrews 13:8).
2. God knows what's coming, even when we don't. We may anticipate things that never happen, expending energy on useless worries. (Read Psalm 23 for assurance.)
3. He is with us. Moses, Gideon, and other leaders experienced "God With Us." Jesus was that promise (Matthew 1:23).
4. God is big enough to cover everything we can't control: "I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty" (Revelation 1:8).
5. God has our backs when we fail or don't live up to expectations: Jesus continues to be our intercessor and Savior. "Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus ... is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us" (Romans 8:34); and "A person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified" (Galatians 2:16).
6. Though we are limited, God is limitless. Acknowledging God's infinite power and ability, assures us that we don't have to manage the world (or ourselves). Job replied to the Lord: “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know" (Job 42:1-2).
7. We're going to be okay. Troubles certainly will come but God promises rescue. We might as well trust God and move ahead. "From the ends of the earth I will cry to You. When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I" (Psalm 61:2). Jesus said, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me" (John 14:1).
8. God will bring people alongside, if we are willing to ask for - and accept - their advice and help. "Moses’ father-in-law said to him, 'This isn’t the right way to do this. It is too much work for you to do alone. You cannot do this job by yourself. It wears you out. And it makes the people tired too. Now, listen to me. Let me give you some advice. And I pray God will be with you.' ... So Moses did what Jethro told him" (Exodus 18:17-19, 24).

What fears are you facing? What (and who) will help you face today and the future?

Lent Day 29: Knowing which way to turn

Wouldn't it be nice if life had a GPS? Clear signposts? Or lists? Especially if they pointed to the best possible outcomes. Think about it.

• 16: NU ahead. Study harder.
• 21: Job from an interview behind the door on the right.
• 25: Marry. Her. (Him.)
• 30s: Invest in retirement. Have another kid.
• 40s: Best boss is the bald guy.
• 50s: Today is your last chance to ...
• 60s: Invest in your grandchildren's generation.
• 70s: Pray more. Complain less.
• 80s: Heaven on November 30.

Life would be SO much easier! We'd always know when to go straight ahead ... or which way to turn.

It's not that simple, is it? And it's not that boring, either.

Sometimes it seems we have no choices. Other times we are flooded with possibilities. We may have options about whom we marry, any of them a good potential spouse. We guess at the best job offer. Hope we're hauling our stuff across the country to a safer city.

We make the leap. And then we take our chances.

I've had a few milestone moments in my life. What to do after high school? A calling to ministry and missions made my initial college choice easy. Whom to marry? "The guy praying beside you on the right." ("Hey, are You sure? His head only comes up to my ear!" Being one year older meant a height difference between W and me in our mid-teens. He caught up.) Stay in our hometown or move away? W had to finish the degree he'd started: we moved.

I've had a few misses. I worried about a few sure things that didn't come to pass. I lost some opportunities, said too little or too much, and thought I was doing the right thing.

So how do you negotiate a fork in the road?

1. Pray. Trust that whatever the initial interest, potential process, or eventual outcome, God will give you direction.
2. Talk to trusted confidants. Gather pros and cons from your spouse, family who love you, good friends, and outside advisers. Don't talk to everyone: in your inner circle, choose those who know you well enough to have your best interests at heart.
3. Listen for pattens in the feedback you hear. Is it a quick, go for it!? When I took a connecting and creative job designing alumni interactions for a university, everyone said, "Wow! Sounds like a fantastic fit." Or is it a universal, "No way!" When we thought about moving into a dark apartment, my friends rolled their eyes and said, "Don't even think about it! There's not enough light in there for you." (I took the job. Rejected the apartment.) If it's somewhere between, keep listening and praying.
4. Start moving in the direction of a good fit. Explore options. Do background research: have others done this? What have they liked or disliked about it? Is it a completely new arena? Examine how the first steps feel: are you happy or afraid, at peace or in turmoil?
5. Keep going until you find your groove or hit a dead end. If doors keep opening, keep moving forward. If there's an impasse, check if it lies with you or others. Can you move the roadblock? Is the road roped off? If you're at the end and prayers haven't unlocked the door, start again at #1.
6. Be prepared for surprises. You may have stepped onto a wide path, but have to traverse a few narrow trails of adventure between "yes!" and your goal. 
7. Walk in courageous trust. How does God keep the earth spinning when airplanes and ships and cars and bicycles keep us moving from place to place? How does the sun stay in the sky with such enormous solar flares that could knock it out of orbit? How does He order our lives to connect or avoid connections with people, jobs, and experiences instead of us chaotically bumping through life without purpose?

"Everything is harder, more work, and more wonderful than I think it will be when I plan it," says W. I agree.

We should know: we've lived a life of unexpected wonders. We've tried, failed, and succeeded at many things. We've experienced good times as well as struggles. Great joy finds its match in suffering.

Thank God for his counsel. Though we may only glimpse the possibilities ahead, God will give enough direction that we will look back and exclaim on His guiding hand and constant direction.

How do/did you know when it's the "Right Thing?"
Could you share some milestone moments from your own life?

Read more:

*He was cut off from the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people. Isaiah 53:8 NLT

*Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his glory? Luke 24:26 NLT

*[Jesus said,] "I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father's commandments and remain in his love. … You didn't choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name." John 15:9–10, 16 NLT

*Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Romans 13:8-10 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Jesus, our Brother, in your suffering we see the extent to which love can go. You invite us to walk the path of servant love with you. We hesitate, but you promise that we will not be alone as we bring your healing love to a hurting world. Amen.