My hero Jeffery Portmann and other things I learned at Network Conference

"Jeffery, we're going to skip your report, if that's okay with you." The Network Superintendent was trying to stay within the schedule at the annual Washington/N. Idaho district business meeting. "I know you're prepared, but we're running out of time. Can we just say, 'It's all good?' You're doing a great job."

The network youth director nodded, smiled, and stayed in his front-row seat while he was passed over so other could give their reports.

Above all the things that I saw and heard at the regional conference, Jeffery's gracious submission to leadership has stayed with me. If you or I had prepared a summary of our year's work, would we feel sidelined? Would we be gracious and submit to a leadership decision rather than being upset?

We watched Jeffery model humility and graciousness. Both the Superintendent and Jeffery exhibited a high degree of trust: the leader knew his coworker well enough to risk offending him by cutting his time. The director trusted his supervisor to make decisions based on overall goals. It was obvious that Jeffery understands the respect his leadership team has for his work and doesn't feel a need to prove himself before a larger audience. I salute you, Jeffrey, as the servant-leader of Christ for hundreds of youth pastors in our region.

What else I learned:

• We arguably have the best AG leadership team in the USA. After 10 years in the same post, the Supt., the Assistant Supt., and the rest of the team work in harmony even when negotiating details. They arbitrate decisions based on pastoral and missional goals. They present a united front when leading and teaching others. 
• Because the team is respectful of each other and united in purpose, they can focus on helping pastors and churches thrive. (On the website, the team is listed by alphabetical rather than hierarchical order. That says something right there...) It's easy to respect leaders who don't hog the spotlight but let others shine. They showcased some bright lights from the network!
• Councils or conferences are really fun with good leadership that has its done homework to prepare for smooth elections and business sessions.
• A theme helps unify information, education, and other interactions (="multiplication" this year).
• It's fantastic to have likeable leaders. The best leadership grows in the combination of spiritual disciplines, godly authority, and a love of God and people.
• It's easy to follow and submit to leaders who wholeheartedly follow and submit to God. Role models are easier to mimic than lectures and ideas.
• Gracious hosts pay attention to details. New Life in Renton recruited a slough of volunteers and staff helpers who made us feel welcome at their facility.
• Missionaries are passionate about reaching people for Christ. Their zeal is contagious.
• Wonderful to see 22 people ordained, 9 of them Children's Pastors.
• Repeating a phrase several times in a sermon emphasizes an idea, even when the intention was to distance self from the idea. (Saying, "I'm not ... XorY" 4X makes people think, "Is he actually XorY and just covering that up?")
• Between us, W & I know--and like--many people in ministry. It was fun seeing you all: students, alumni, coworkers, and friends!

Read more:

*May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings.

*The righteous are like trees planted by streams of water, which yield their fruit in its season, and their leaves do not wither. Psalm 1:3

*May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests. Psalm 20:1-5 NIV

*You will know them by their fruits. Matthew 7:16

Moravian Prayer: Dear God, in this time of spring when the earth shows new growth, help us to grow in love and witness to you in the world around us. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

"In the same way, you husbands ought to..."

Yesterday I attended Kenmore's Northshore Church. I've been there a few times and really like it. Pastor Steve spoke on 1 Peter 3, a passage that goes against our culture in asking wives to respect the authority of their husband.

What caught my eye? The little phrase prefacing instructions to husbands: "In the same way, you husbands ought to..."

What did Peter say? "In the same way as..." Peter has just instructed wives to live with respect and humility, not relying on outward beauty nor flashy appearances but on her quiet, meek spirit. Those beautiful attitudes form godly behaviors.

A male loud-mouth, revving his muscle car, preening with tailor-cut suits, handmade shoes, or custom golf clubs, one who emphasizes status at work -- a guy who gets jazzed about his "best barbecue" skills and other displays of one-upmanship -- does not reflect the spirit Peter encourages in men and women.

Over the years, I've heard apologetic sermons, excuses of "culture was different back then," and other explanations about Peter's intentions and God's mission for women.

Steve did a good job of showing how the respect a woman shows her husband, especially when her position is culturally powerless, would help him to note the transforming power of following Christ. "Back then, a man coming to Christ would bring his family into the faith. A woman would have no such power. But her changed behavior would show her husband and the whole family the difference Christ makes in us."

In today's culture where gender equality is a hot button, a man with strength, meekness, humility, and respect for others stands out as much a woman with the same qualities.

Only Christ can produce such a transformation in us. Our natural tendency is to "look out for ourselves" and act with self-interest.

Jesus, through Peter's letter, encourages us to move beyond cultural norms to reflect his humble character and the fruit of the Spirit: "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control..." (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV). 

Read more:

*Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12 NIV

*Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:1-10 NIV 

Personal bias vs. a godly life

"Well, at least my intentions were good!" Have you ever heard that from someone who just spoiled a job or broke a relationship with an ill-fated attempt to help? 

"I just thought they should know that." Ever watch someone control another person with spiritual legalism or slice a frail person to ribbons with cruel facts?

"It's his/her job, not yours. Stay out of it." Ever seen a project fizzle without realizing its potential because a gifted person is overlooked by political correctness or stultifying hierarchy?

Most people land on both sides of the equations eventually. We act, speak, and delegate without thinking through the implications of our actions. And we've been knifed by careless words, undermined by bad "help," and refused the opportunity to use our skills.

When W was principal of a Christian school, we attended a conference where men and women were separated for some sessions. Since the articulate wife of the main speaker "could not" address men, the women attendees got the full blast of her teaching on Southern Baptist submission. All males were superior in position to females by God's decree, she told us. Whether or not women were smarter or more skilled than male peers, every woman had better knuckle under and let a man lead. No woman could teach a man anything, whether at home or in public. Oh, and no trousers permitted for the truly holy women of God.

W found me in tears in our hotel room after I'd endured three hours of lectures. "What's going on?" he asked, puzzled to find me sobbing on the bed, especially at a "how-to" Christian school convention. "What happened? Are you okay? Are the kids all right?"

"I can't do it!" I wailed. "I can't go into the bathroom, shut the door, pray God to give you direction, and let you decide everything for us. I will go crazy!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Patti-Belle said if her husband decided to move to Alaska, she would never cross him or challenge him, even if it was terrible timing for the family. She'd go into the bathroom, pray earnestly that God would give her husband good counsel through godly men, and come out smiling and ready to pack up the house. I don't think I could be that kind of a 'good wife,' ever!"

W looked at me with dismay and shock. "Why would God give men a marriage partner if he didn't intend a husband to benefit from his wife's counsel and interactions? In marriage, two heads and two viewpoints are better than one."

I dried my cheeks with a sign of relief. However, the trauma of that woman's attempt to foist on her listeners the spirituality of male dominance has stayed with me all these years. I'm delighted not to be in her denomination or culture! (Though admittedly, my mom, girlfriends, and family therapists confirm that even in the strongest marriages, a wife's advice is often heeded less than casual remarks from a husband's peers or boss. Oh well.)

Nothing I read in scripture tells me that God, usually referenced as male, thinks less of his daughters than his sons. He gifts them both through the Spirit, calls them to serve in dangers and challenges, to be faithful through good times and bad. He uses the values of each culture to emphasize his right to "the best" people acknowledge, own, or accomplish in their communities (such as the firstborn son, the dowry of a bride, or the tithe from the harvest).

It's amazing how God works to build his Kingdom in all cultures, drawing us to himself within all our worldviews and traditions. He stoops to listen to our prayers, to grant our petitions, with love that cherishes us more than we can love ourselves or each other.

How arrogant of us to read our finite understandings into Scripture, to presume that our tribe, our gender, our nation, or our Christian community pleases him more than all others. 

In contrast, Jesus assumed a humble and lowly position rather than arriving as a "somebody." He was born into a tradesman's family in an unimportant town, at a time in history when his nation was despised by their conquerors. As his servants, let's not pretend that we are more important than he through our personal bias and self-importance. How dare we ignore his call to imitate his humility with a godly life, no matter what our station or status.

Read more:

*"In times of trouble, may the answer your cry. May the name of the God of Jacob keep you safe from all harm. May he send you help from his sanctuary and strengthen you from Jerusalem… May he grant your heart's desires and make all your plans succeed. May we shout for joy when we hear of your victory and raise a victory banner in the name of our God. May the LORD answer all your prayers." Psalm 20:1–2, 4–5 NLT

*"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10 NKJV

*Jesus replied, "And why do you, by your traditions, violate the direct commandments of God? For instance, God says, 'Honor your father and mother,' and 'Anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death.' 

"But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, 'Sorry, I can't help you. For I have vowed to give to God what I would have given to you.' In this way, you say they don't need to honor their parents. And so you cancel the word of God for the sake of your own tradition. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you, for he wrote, 'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.'" Matthew 15:3–8 NLT