Last night I dreamed my way through the hours. I met people I hadn't seen in years, did daring things I'd never attempt in waking hours, and behaved in sinful ways I wouldn't allow myself even to think about in public. Agitated, unkind, and calculating. I was cold-hearted to people who frustrate me. Unhappy at little slights. Impatient with the faint of heart.
After my teens, I learned to change dreams to make them more pleasing. If I was headed for harm, I swerved into a safer situation, aware that, "This is only a dream. The outcome and process is up to me." No more getting lost in the Junior High hallway or forgetting my locker combination!
As an adult, I usually let the dreams run their course. My unguarded self teaches me what I am afraid of, wary about, and where my unprotected nature is compromised or immature.
Waking during and at the end of the dreams, my heart felt broken. Very few of us know ourselves as others knows us, because looking deeply inside causes such grief and distress. We've made so little progress, in spite of the lavish grace and love God pours on us! After all these years as a believer, I'm still leery of looking myself in the mirror.
When I awoke to face the day, I was praying for God's covering. For his shelter and healing blood to wash me clean again. I asked, "Would I trust myself as a best friend, choose to tell me dangerous secrets, or let God expose my inner thoughts for all to see?"
Really? Can I risk full disclosure, knowing what I know this morning? Over and over, I need to remember that there is no inherent goodness in me, beyond the common image of God in all humanity. As I look at others, I know there is nothing in me that would elevate me above my fellows or exempt me from any judgment or verdict I'd pass on another!
Who is in your line of fire today?
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*"If you plan to do evil, you will be lost; if you plan to do good, you will receive unfailing love and faithfulness." Proverbs 14:22 NLT
*Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Ephesians 6:10 NLT
*This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. 1 John 1:5-9 NIV
Wow! I love this...I want to be transparent, to die daily to my sinful self, and push forward to being more Christ-like. Thank you so much for this profound word.
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