Too tired to get really mad ... but close

Saturday, May 3, 2025

It's an early morning with a walk - and another walk in late afternoon. On the way, a group of young boys is gathered around one kid who is sitting. We stop to check what's going on. The youngster is crying - he's skinned his knee badly. The other boys are sympathizing, not making fun of him. The satpam (sentry) down the lane waves the boys over to wash the knee and put on a bandage.

I spot a new-to-me kind of bulb blooming.

Outside the gate, the avocado tree is dripping with fruit.

There was a wind-and-rain storm overnight and many trees blew down. Cleanup is underway. I snap off 2 branches and drag them home from our walk - then get a few flowers from the garden to finish an arrangement. I'll pull it into place tomorrow. PakG drops it at the hall after noon.

While I send Anton on energy-draining "fetch"es, a snake quickly winds across the lawn from one flower bed to the other. I spot him on the edge of the pond the next day, too. He's thin and 3-4' (1 meter) long. He slithers off into the flowerbed when he spots me.

Between dog walks and work, W and I eat lunch at Homeground Restaurant where a full meal with sides costs $3-5.

A bowl of fried Cajun-ish chicken is good, too ($3.50).

I carry on with Duolingo day by day. You'd think I'd know more Indonesian by now ...

Kirsten and I call - we compare our dogs' sizes to our feet. She.

We. 

We rack up 11,000 steps again today. Every day, Anton understands more of what I'm asking of him and becomes more willing to obey.

Hendy comes over on his way to the Hash dinner. Where did he get full Mexican gear, a sombrero and jacket for Cinco de Mayo? W walks a few blocks with him and his friend to the Hash's Taco Special. The runners finish their trek and join in.

After a few games of fetch, the dogs are ready to "go to bed" = a run into the crate with a treat waiting. I close the doors behind the dogs, each in his/her own crate. They settle down for the night and so do I.

Except, I stay up an extra 2 hours to take the fresh panettone loaf out of the breadmaker. It's a dismal failure. The machine hasn't even stirred in the currents. And it hasn't risen. Ugh.

Sunday

I cough my way through the night and should stay home. It feels important to show up at GG to pray over JP and Judy on their last Sunday in Bandung. They have managed the hall we rent and become dear friends. Now they are embarking on a new adventure, life in a foreign country (to them) ... the USA.

I walk home after prayer and join the Gathering online (cough cough). Feibe, our outstanding STTB intern, is speaking today. I can pray over her and enjoy the talk via livestream - but I wish I could cheer her on in person. (Makes me smile: she's wearing heels instead of comfy shoes she's in when leading the children.)

W jumps in to host the team meeting afterward. Good to have a strong partner when you can't lead. The morning is dark and gloomy. It starts to clear up before noon and then goes back to overcast - and wet.

Monday

Martin and Sayaka are gifted as pastors. They naturally and sacrificially think of others - and this morning they send a dark healing tea to help me recover. It immediately starts to soothe my throat.

This week's dog assignment is teaching Anton to sit when I stop. He hardly pulls when we walk and is paying attention (more and more) when on leash. Before he comes home, he has to sit outside. That gets him lots of affection and praise. Then "pulang" (go home) and he bounces in the gate after me.

Look at all the colors on this flower! orange, blue-black, pink, white, and greens ... 

We give input on a crowdfunding video. W teaches a study while I open my book survey = so much good information to sort through ... before we shop for food. For lunch, we try a Chinese place that our friends highly recommended. Very good food at a reasonable price - and we have leftovers for supper. 

W drops by friends while I go home for the last dog walk. I'm exhausted from being out but the training session is a real hassle. I gave express instructions to W and PakG not to walk Anton at all, never mind with the other dogs, until he can obey without question. Anton is too big, strong, and willful to be let loose.

However, this morning while I'm busy, the driver clips Anton to the other dogs on the group. I don't see them go out the gate or I would have stopped them! Anton predictably pulls like a Komodo dragon, runs all over the place, and is almost unmanageable. I sternly warn the driver afterward again, not to take Anton out without my permission. (It will take a few weeks until he's ready for that group walk.)

I'm angry: when I walk Anton in the afternoon, the uncontrolled morning walk has undone almost a week of obedience training. He will hardly focus, stubbornly jumping around, pulling, and refusing to listen. We wait for almost an hour in one alley until Anton agrees to sit. Sigh. I've been sick all week and don't have the energy for nonsense, whether with person or beast.

But we'll do it all again in the morning. How does God put up with our willfulness, day after day, and year after year? 

Read more:

*Lord, turn my heart to your decrees and not to selfish gain. Psalm 119:36

*In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. Titus 2:7-8 

*This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. 1 John 5:14-15

Moravian Prayer: Lord God, you know our hearts. Our impulses are not always pure. Forgive us, please. Make us aware of our falling short, so that none are lost, but all are found. Amen.