Too tired to get really mad ... but close

Saturday, May 3, 2025

It's an early morning with a walk - and another walk in late afternoon. On the way, a group of young boys is gathered around one kid who is sitting. We stop to check what's going on. The youngster is crying - he's skinned his knee badly. The other boys are sympathizing, not making fun of him. The satpam (sentry) down the lane waves the boys over to wash the knee and put on a bandage.

I spot a new-to-me kind of bulb blooming.

Outside the gate, the avocado tree is dripping with fruit.

There was a wind-and-rain storm overnight and many trees blew down. Cleanup is underway. I snap off 2 branches and drag them home from our walk - then get a few flowers from the garden to finish an arrangement. I'll pull it into place tomorrow. PakG drops it at the hall after noon.

While I send Anton on energy-draining "fetch"es, a snake quickly winds across the lawn from one flower bed to the other. I spot him on the edge of the pond the next day, too. He's thin and 3-4' (1 meter) long. He slithers off into the flowerbed when he spots me.

Between dog walks and work, W and I eat lunch at Homeground Restaurant where a full meal with sides costs $3-5.

A bowl of fried Cajun-ish chicken is good, too ($3.50).

I carry on with Duolingo day by day. You'd think I'd know more Indonesian by now ...

Kirsten and I call - we compare our dogs' sizes to our feet. She.

We. 

We rack up 11,000 steps again today. Every day, Anton understands more of what I'm asking of him and becomes more willing to obey.

Hendy comes over on his way to the Hash dinner. Where did he get full Mexican gear, a sombrero and jacket for Cinco de Mayo? W walks a few blocks with him and his friend to the Hash's Taco Special. The runners finish their trek and join in.

After a few games of fetch, the dogs are ready to "go to bed" = a run into the crate with a treat waiting. I close the doors behind the dogs, each in his/her own crate. They settle down for the night and so do I.

Except, I stay up an extra 2 hours to take the fresh panettone loaf out of the breadmaker. It's a dismal failure. The machine hasn't even stirred in the currents. And it hasn't risen. Ugh.

Sunday

I cough my way through the night and should stay home. It feels important to show up at GG to pray over JP and Judy on their last Sunday in Bandung. They have managed the hall we rent and become dear friends. Now they are embarking on a new adventure, life in a foreign country (to them) ... the USA.

I walk home after prayer and join the Gathering online (cough cough). Feibe, our outstanding STTB intern, is speaking today. I can pray over her and enjoy the talk via livestream - but I wish I could cheer her on in person. (Makes me smile: she's wearing heels instead of comfy shoes she's in when leading the children.)

W jumps in to host the team meeting afterward. Good to have a strong partner when you can't lead. The morning is dark and gloomy. It starts to clear up before noon and then goes back to overcast - and wet.

Monday

Martin and Sayaka are gifted as pastors. They naturally and sacrificially think of others - and this morning they send a dark healing tea to help me recover. It immediately starts to soothe my throat.

This week's dog assignment is teaching Anton to sit when I stop. He hardly pulls when we walk and is paying attention (more and more) when on leash. Before he comes home, he has to sit outside. That gets him lots of affection and praise. Then "pulang" (go home) and he bounces in the gate after me.

Look at all the colors on this flower! orange, blue-black, pink, white, and greens ... 

We give input on a crowdfunding video. W teaches a study while I open my book survey = so much good information to sort through ... before we shop for food. For lunch, we try a Chinese place that our friends highly recommended. Very good food at a reasonable price - and we have leftovers for supper. 

W drops by friends while I go home for the last dog walk. I'm exhausted from being out but the training session is a real hassle. I gave express instructions to W and PakG not to walk Anton at all, never mind with the other dogs, until he can obey without question. Anton is too big, strong, and willful to be let loose.

However, this morning while I'm busy, the driver clips Anton to the other dogs on the group. I don't see them go out the gate or I would have stopped them! Anton predictably pulls like a Komodo dragon, runs all over the place, and is almost unmanageable. I sternly warn the driver afterward again, not to take Anton out without my permission. (It will take a few weeks until he's ready for that group walk.)

I'm angry: when I walk Anton in the afternoon, the uncontrolled morning walk has undone almost a week of obedience training. He will hardly focus, stubbornly jumping around, pulling, and refusing to listen. We wait for almost an hour in one alley until Anton agrees to sit. Sigh. I've been sick all week and don't have the energy for nonsense, whether with person or beast.

But we'll do it all again in the morning. How does God put up with our willfulness, day after day, and year after year? 

Read more:

*Lord, turn my heart to your decrees and not to selfish gain. Psalm 119:36

*In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. Titus 2:7-8 

*This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. 1 John 5:14-15

Moravian Prayer: Lord God, you know our hearts. Our impulses are not always pure. Forgive us, please. Make us aware of our falling short, so that none are lost, but all are found. Amen.

The new-ness of life - Easter and Easter week

Easter Sunday, April 20, 2025

"Christ is risen!" and the responses: "He is risen indeed!" How we love this high holy day of celebration.

The lilies open overnight into a cheerful bouquet.

We affirm the scriptural account of Jesus' death and resurrection in community. The kids put on a program - the Good News of what Jesus has done for us.

Several of us eat lunch together. We start with poutine and beef-laden fries.

I order rendang (spicy beef) noodles. Most of us take home leftovers.

I'm ready for bed when the sun goes down. We set the alarm for 11 PM last night to talk to our kids around the world. Because they live in Europe and USA, finding a good time is a challenge. It was well worth waking up to see them. But I didn't fall back asleep until after 4 AM ... and it's an early morning on Sundays. I crash out today before 7 PM.

Easter Monday

I write the final Lenten blog post for 2025. I've slept 8 hours when I wake at 3 AM. That's plenty so why bother trying to sleep longer? Meetings start at 4:30. Mom looks happy and alert online.

When I hang up the last call, it's out the door to walk with the dogs. Roosters, hens, and chicks peck at the garbage dump.

W and I marvel over the intricate 3" (7cm) seedpods scattered across the street.

The bougainvilleas hang resplendent from the neighbor's fence.

At home, 8 pods jazz up a candy dish on the entry table. The rest will get run over by motorcycles and cars.

The lilies open to match the current slipcovers.

I promise myself, "I'm going to edit," since I've committed to 3 projects. This morning, we head out the door for a new dog leash - the pet taxi says that Anton is coming Thursday. (He was expected 2 weeks ago. But Indonesian holiday traffic jams and tropical heat = an unsafe combo for moving animals long distances.) We get a few collars since our dogs' collars are wearing. We rip the fru-fru off the collars. Away with the fake bandana, a flower, and a puffy ladybug.

I'm done editing a friend's thick document by mid-afternoon. I completed W's edit last week, so there's one more on my desk: a 200-page book. I've been assured that it's in good writing - in good English, which makes editing faster.

Tuesday and Wednesday

Walks. Then editing. The thick academic material makes my head spin every half hour. Thank God for tea and mobility - I walk around holding a mug, looking across the garden to refresh my brain.

IbuA hads a family funeral Tuesday so she's not around to start baking. We're replacing many cookies and goodies eaten at movie night and elsewhere. Super-helper IbuS is hard at work, having learned kitchen skills from IbuA. She grinds out hundreds of delicious chocolate chip cookies and peanut butter cookies. I sneak a few as I walk through the kitchen.

We assemble recycling pails and other goods that are being loaned for a weekend potluck. IES Bandung loves eating together; we delayed the communal Easter meal until the coming Sunday when more people are in town.

The movie night utensils and trays? Yup - and we toss in new cutlery that will be washed and recycled. Indonesia is drowning in throw-away plastic.

We get a snapshot when Anton gets picked by pet transporter on Tuesday. He has a 2-day road trip ahead. He should arrive late Thursday, when our dogs are worn out from the hike.

How do you bring a new dog into an established pack? Our ease-in option has worked so far, though a dominant dog may challenge the others a few times before settling in. First up is confirming a neutral space where we can let Anton meet our creatures. Thanks, JP and Judy!

Thursday, before Anton exits the transport van, W will take our dogs on a walk. Anton can roam our yard to smell them and put his own smell everywhere. He'll be taken on his own walk before our dogs return. (A walk also helps the calming travel meds to dissipate in a dog's system before bedtime.)

"We can smell him! Where is he?" It's always fun to watch our critters trying to find the newbie. They'll sniff him in their territory and pee everywhere he has marked.

W will take our pack and I'll bring Anton to meet in our friends' fenced yard. Anton goes in first; then our dogs are let off-leash to say hello. If all goes as planned, we'll walk the pack home together. And that's that. (Plus a little wrestling over the next week or two?) A friend sends a crate our way so Anton can have his own cave. 

Goodbye to one home and hello to the next.

Read more:

*Bless God in the great congregation. Psalm 68:26

*This poor soul cried and was heard by the Lord and was saved from every trouble. Psalm 34:6

*Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

*Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the goodwill of all the people. Acts 2:46-47

*Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13,14

Moravian Prayer: God of comfort, you know our deep sadness and weariness. You hear our cries and see our heavy burdens. Because of your profound love for us, you offer to take our grief and pain, and in their place, give our souls a quiet stillness and a peaceful resting place until we are united with you in joyful bliss. 

God of all creation, we bow before you with praise and adoration. May your Holy Spirit work within us to keep our minds and hearts focused on you. As we live in community with others, help us to reflect your goodness and love so that our entire lives can be an offering of thanksgiving. Amen. Be it so.

Trust who you know

Sunday, Monday 23, 2025

I raid last week's floral arrangement and the garden for a tall bouquet for the hall. People pluck the flowers they want from the vase when the Gathering is over. These are the leftovers.

The morning is special. Afterward, many share their joy at being together yesterday for the football event. 

Guests are welcomed, people chat over snacks, and we pray over Ronnie for his birthday. Look at this cake! handmade by Dina's friend. It's his first birthday celebration ever -  and we're delighted to fuss over him before his friends take him for lunch.

Lizzie texts me. I asked last week if she has a dog to retire later this year. Our canine satpams (yard guards) are aging and we don't want to wait to introduce another dog when they're much older. (High energy = too much adjustment for an old pack of dogs.) Apparently one of her former puppies needs a new home. 

Lizzie finds out more information, the reason for rehoming, and his medical records and sends this current photo.

Then Antoni's owners and I connect. He's a beautiful black one-year-old, healthy and well-cared for. The dog is not neutered. We compare vet fees. Our Gypsy was "half-neutered" by a Bandung vet, which meant a second surgery. Getting a known and trusted vet is a priority before Antoni leaves his people and arrives here.

I call the pet taxi, due to leave March 25th. Oops they left early to avoid Ramadan traffic. The taxi-man reserves a spot for this bouncy Standard poodle on the next transport in 2 weeks.

Monday - J's birthday

Our youngest has a birthday today and gets spoiled by a kakek (an older sibling, who married WELL. She takes care of family connections. Thank you, M.) 

"Wow," says W, "we're old." Yup - claiming that honor even as we miss hugging our son's neck.

The sun shines through the clouds when we walk. It's pleasant but not hot. The vines drape over gates, fences, and trees.

Another frog that hasn't made it across the street is quickly drying out. Wouldn't he make a 3D contribution to a painting? (W says, "You've got to be kidding," and we leave it behind. haha)

A beetle skeleton catches my eye. The insect has wiggled out, leaving his old home empty and clinging to a branch.

That's not all. There's a 2" beetle on the porch. W flips it over and flicks it into the garden to carry on eating aphids.

We lunch with trusted friends who live one mountain over. Expats move across the world; ours is a fluid lifestyle. Expats leave their legacy and are sincerely missed when they're gone. 3 couples are leaving Bandung in the next months.

Our lunch friends are retiring and repatriating. The food is good, the company is warm, and the prayers are sincere. We leave satisfied.

Reading scripture, I'm puzzled by one of the teachings of Jesus and strangely warmed by his offer of himself as a spiritual feast (John 6).

Throughout Lent, I'm plowing through the gospel of John. I'm considering what it means to follow Jesus. What a mysterious and rich faith we have. If you're looking for spiritual challenges, go no further. Here's one spiritual mystery I'm pondering. (Click this link).

Little Casey comes to stay for a few days. She gets along fine with the big dogs, though we walk her on a separate leash so she doesn't get stepped on.

Tuesday

After a 6:00 AM meeting online, we walk the dogs. We pass a fun car in mint condition in our neighborhood. Remember the Bug?

I miss calling my mom but get updates from my brother. Mid-morning, Lisa drops by for tea and a final chat. She leaves mea huge bar of of NZ peppermint chocolate. Yum. She will return home to New Zealand on Thursday. How I'll miss her company.

Our team meeting is online this week. The topic is "waiting" on God for whatever he will bring our way. We're not to be demanding or impatient but settled and patient. It's good advice.

Since Sunday, Antoni's breeder Lizzie, his owners, and I have been texting back and forth. Gypsy had incomplete neuter surgery in Bandung. I am unwilling to risk the same trauma for another dog. Lizzie has an amazing and competent vet. (Read more about him here.) Antoni's owners rent a car for a long ride to Lizzie's vet instead of taking him next door to their usual clinic.

Unbelievable. Antoni has the same condition Gypsy had. I appreciate the trust A's owners offer both Lizzie and me. It could have been an expensive and unhealthy fiasco otherwise.  The vet takes care of everything under a single anesthesia and sends the pup home to recover. And then he gifts us with Lizzie's kennel discount, charging for only one surgery, on top of it all. Thank you, Dr Budi!

Sleep it off. Wake a new man, Antoni. Sort of.

W and I wrap up meetings and correspondence before the sun goes down. Feels good to finish the day.

Read more:

*Seek the Lord while he may be found, call upon him while he is near. Isaiah 55:6

*I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning. For you have been a fortress for me and a refuge in the day of my distress. Psalm 59:16

*Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil. Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

*"Paul told this to his friends:] "To this day I have had help from God, and so I stand here, testifying to both small and great." Acts 26:22

Moravian Prayer: Gracious God, help us to sing aloud of your great and eternal love. Equip us, Lord, and fill us with gifts from your spirit, so that we can witness to our neighbor and make known to all, of your deep and abiding love, both now and evermore. Amen.

Lent begins

Wednesday, March 5, 2025

Lent is a very special season for me. I didn't grow up with it. In fact, I didn't pay attention to the word until I was working on my masters degree.

That season was difficult: our daughter was in full flair with rheumatoid arthritis. Our kids were in their teens and moving into adulthood. I taught music and volunteered to train small group leaders while leading a study group myself. W was away at work most of the time. So it was busy. And hard.

The days seemed to crawl but the years were flying by. I was exhausted, with no prayers of my own, So I sought refuge in the traditional prayers of the Church. I spent a semester praying the Catholic liturgy, then another with the Orthodox prayer book. Many days I knelt down and prayed Puritan prayers of petition and confession.

I discovered Lent, a pause in the Christian calendar. Lent meant 40 days of meditation on the life, suffering, and death of Jesus. With my heart broken and my spirit hanging on by a thread, I plunged into contemplation.

Yet I've never been religious about my practice of Lent.

By that, I mean it's not an obligation. I don't consider it appeasement or an appeal to God's mercy. It's not a righteous duty carried out to balance my sins. Jesus has already paid the price in full, so I live in his forgiveness and his righteousness.

Each year, I find my relationship with God has deepened. I feel his love and care pervading every part of my being. And I love him more. I want to please him.

So this year at Lent, I'm picking at my keyboard again, challenging myself to new understandings of who God is and why he wants a relationship with us. I want to be open to his goodness, his justice, and his unlimited imagination in saving the world.

Lenten Blog, Day 1: God beyond our Imagination 

Paul the apostle admits: The message of the cross seems foolish to those who are lost and dying. But it is God's power to us who are being saved. It is written [in Isaiah 29:14]: "I will destroy the wisdom of those who are wise. I will do away with the cleverness of those who think they are so smart."

Smart people scoff at the cross. They find it folly and an offense to human reason. Why would God come among us? And why grow up in an obscure village in the middle of the Roman Empire? Why would he allow with religious leaders to question and defame him. Why would he be killed in a brutal way, with his followers abandoning him in his time of need?

I don't know. What I do know is that God understands all the parts of human life because of it. 

God's plans are enough for me - and for you as we live in that mystery. I don't have to understand what He's doing or how he lays out the future. He doesn't answer to me.

So Lent begins. I start the annual journey of blogging about my faith and confidence in God's provision. I don't understand it. Don't grasp it fully. But I believe what God says is true and that my faith shapes how I live as a follower of Jesus. (unknown source for images)

Still Wednesday. After 4 meetings, the morning is almost gone. I pray, write, and wonder what to cook for lunch. Turns out that leftover tacos are a perfect choice. W goes to an afternoon men's group. Titik's flowers continue to open as I work from home.

Thursday

There's no hike scheduled so we loop around the neighborhood for 3.5 miles (5 km). I step into the uneven side of the road to exercise ankles, knees, and hips the way a hike does. Nah, it's not the same.

W captures a beetle on the street in exquisite detail.

How wonderfully the world has been made.

Even the smallest things are crafted so meticulously that Jesus said, "King Solomon in his splendid robes wasn't dressed as well as the grass of the field that is here today and gone tomorrow."

In contrast, the manmade flower boards don't seem to be fading. I take a closer look: ah, the florets are made of sponge foam and will be part of the garbage dump soon.

Many continue to "bloom" in front of the residence of the new assistant governor.

We haven't been to #NaraPark for over a month. It's well-maintained, with a young man "sweeping" every leaf from the lawn as we eat breakfast. I'm craving their spicy noodles.

What are the little green heads on the plants along the terrace?

A closer look reveals tiny flowers, almost invisible until you stop to see.

Building has resumed on the community center used for preschool medical care. The upstairs wall has been framed atop the old first floor. Every few months, an influx of energy (or money?) brings progress to the project, which has been going for over a year.

I reply to texts and emails, make calls, and take notes from Blinkist book summaries. They have some recent additions on leadership and caring for others.

How about sauerkraut for lunch today? It's rather fun to cook "old-home" recipes that are on autopilot from another life. To a homemade base from Hela, we add potatoes, sausage, and seasonings. As the sauerkraut bakes, smells from the toaster oven remind us of a German household. Meanwhile, the helpers use the main ovens for cookies.

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Reflecting on the beginning of John's gospel, I'm filled with wonder again.

Lenten Blog, Day 2: The startling appearance of God

Dinner is a new recipe: butter rice and mushroom saté, with an apple on the side. We watch a movie this month instead of reading a book for the book club. The movie is called The Life of a Gaucho. (Wrong movie, I discover at the Friday book group.)

Friday

Walk. The fig tree is starting to droop with fruit again.

I make crepes for breakfast. Then edits! What a privilege to read what others research, learning from their work. First up is a seminar on healthy relationships and building trust in the workplace. I pause occasionally to "visit" the room photo on my desktop and rest my eyes on the green garden.

I check the progress of a dissertation and write a Lenten post about John the Baptist.

Lenten Day 3: The surprising messenger

We eat lunch before W and I pick up basics at the grocer. Varieties of dates are on display: those are eaten at the end of the day to break the Muslim fast.

PakG loads the dogs in the car and takes them for a walk while the Bandung Book Group meets for a lively discussion of a Hallmark movie: Journey from 1995. The cafe staff won't open shop until 3:00 though the women just want to order coffee. By the time they are served, I have to leave - with my thermos of tea intact. (It would have been rude to drink while they were waiting.)

We have fresh-baked mayo biscuits for supper. So easy, so good! (Stir together 1 c milk, 2 c flour, 2 tsp baking powder, 4 tbsp mayonnaise; bake in greased cupcake tin @350o for 15 min.) While the biscuits bake, I sauté mushrooms with onions and spices. Yum.

By the time we clean up, it's night. The rain falls in force, with lightning flashing and thunder rumbling over the mountains for hours.

"This rainy season is lasting longer than usual," we said about the same time last year.

Read more:

*Remember the former things of old, for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is no one like me. Isaiah 46:9

*“I am the Alpha and the Omega,” said the Lord God, who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty. Revelation 1:8

Moravian Prayer: Eternal God, as we mark the beginning of our global church, we know that our faith history is but a moment in your creation. Yet you give us each these moments to blossom and live abundant lives. Let it be so! Amen.