What timing is this?!

"If you're going to blog about going to Indonesia, be sure to write about the bad things as well as the good," my mother-in-law said to me yesterday. "That's real life."

I woke up this morning a bit dumbfounded by God's timing, so I'll write about that. I am puzzled why God would choose this time of life for W and me to become church planters and mission teachers.

I don't mind getting older. A strange facet of American culture is the resistance of 40-60-year olds to admit that we're aging. "You're not old!" my friends protest (in self-defense?) when I self-identify as "an old lady," compared to younger women.

Hello? Compared to 20- and 30-somethings like our kids, I AM old. It takes me a long time to learn what I could breeze through and remember years ago. How am I going to learn a new language and fit into a 180o different culture? When I look in the mirror, there's no denying that the years are stamping themselves on my face and body.

Oh well. Here we are. Mid-50s. Going into missions. I'm reminded of a couple of recent encounters:

1) A pastor asked us, "Why are you going at this time of life? Will our investment ($) be worth it? Should we be investing in young people instead?"

I ran that past Dr. Wayde Goodall, the NU School of Ministry dean and my husband's trusted adviser.

"What people here don't understand," he told me, "is that age and grey hair are valued where you are going. Precisely because you are older, well-educated, and mature in the faith, you have advantages young people don't yet have.

"What about bishops, apostles, and elders in scripture? They were entrusted with building the church in the New Testament. Remember that if someone asks you about 'being old.'" (Thanks, Dr. Wayde, for scriptural insights to balance our cultural assumptions!)

2) Pastor Kim Martinez talks about God's intentionality when we're feeling stalled by circumstances or ability. (Listen here for her talk.) She notes that Joseph was an arrogant spoiled young man, sure of his dreams and his ability to lead. But God took him through difficulties and detours. Joseph wasn't ready for the top post until he was ready in God's timing. Then, Joseph's readiness coincided with Egypt's need for a wise administrator.

We weren't supposed to go until this time in our lives. This is what God has designed. What in our characters and personalities needed to be knocked off - or added?

The confidence of our youth, the easy "we-can-do-anything!" and "let's go for it!" attitudes are past. I actually can't imagine waking without the comforts of our home, the quiet forest behind the house, and the safe haven of family and friends who know and trust us. I feel afraid when I wake some mornings, that we're not enough and "nothing will happen" when we get there.

That's when God says, "Remember, nothing was EVER about you or W. It's always been about Me. If you remember that and live that way, I WILL do what I planned - through the two of you and those who will teach you and work with you."

 3) I'm wondering if I can learn Bahasa Indonesia. At least it's not as hard as Mandarin, which I expected to study as a young woman. (W proposed to me, asking, "Will you go to Red China with me?")

When we visited Beijing in 2011, I was grief-stricken, sitting in a Chinese church service. I knew I could never learn Mandarin and that region of missions was closed to us.

We are going where the language is one of the simplest to acquire (according to linguists). I'm gradually listening to more and more Bahasa, trying to hear patterns and pronunciation. I'm hoping I can learn it, bit by bit. I'll always have a funny accent and I may not know all the words.

Language encapsulates its culture's gifts of thinking and knowing. Our parents were immigrants who spoke German. (W's folks knew Polish and Russian, too.) Our childhood churches used another language. We taught our children German so they would have alternate ways of knowing the world. Sometimes when we pray or read scripture, we slip back into German because there are words that express God's truths differently than English does.

Limited though our ability may be, both W and I intend to do our best to understand our new friends from the inside out. That means language learning.

4) I'm tired. Just thinking about down-sizing and moving wears me out. We don't have the energy of 30-somethings or even 40-somethings. God reminds me that maybe Job wasn't initially that thrilled about starting anew. Maybe he wasn't THAT excited about having 10 more kids, after being sick and losing it all. Yet God blessed him with a new family, great riches, and wisdom that moderns still learn from.

Thank God for our good health and plenty of vigor. We may take longer to think through what we're doing now. But that might be a good thing in days ahead.

God only knows. It's his timing, after all!

Read more:

*For the Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life." Job 33:4 NLT

*This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. 1 John 5:14-15 NIV

*God consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God. 2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT

Moravian Prayer: You are our refuge and strength, O God, our ever-present help in trouble. Embolden us to share the good news of your steadfast love. Make us instruments your consolation, we pray, in Jesus’ name. Amen

Lent Day 22: Everlasting and unchanging

Today everyone we met was smiling. The sun's out in Seattle and temperatures reached a high of 55oF. In March, that's considered a gift from heaven.

It's easy to believe in a good God when the sunshine is warming your shoulders. It may be more difficult to sense His love when circumstances feel out of control:

• When the baby's sick and you don't know what's wrong.
• When your teenager is out late without letting you know where s/he's gone.
• When those newlyweds seem to be clawing more than cooing and their marriage looks shaky. 
• When the bills pile up and there seem to be too few resources.
• When the boss hands you a pink slip.
• When you (or your parents) feel the effects of age and infirmity.
• When all your plans fall apart and there's no Plan B for the future.

The lovely reassurance of scripture is that God never changes. Since the beginning of time, He has overseen the universe and its motion, the peoples He made and their relationships.

He knows it all. Controls it all. Is able to direct everything - beauty and chaos - without planets colliding or whirling off course into black holes of nothingness.

We are securely guided and guarded as long as we do His will. When we get off track, we may feel the consequences. Yet, returning to God with our whole hearts, we're promised His resources to direct our paths and give us wisdom.

• Do you need the unfailing love and everlasting arms of God, your heavenly Father? He is strong enough to hold you. Kind enough to comfort you.
• Do you desperately need clarity for a murky situation? God sees a way through the darkness. Nothing is hidden from him.

• Do you need salvation from your brokenness? God provided One who became the sacrifice for our sins, the One who walked steadily toward the cross we will celebrate at Easter.
• Do you need power beyond your wildest imagination to solve a crisis? God created the world from nothing. He parted the Red Sea to provide escape for an entire nation. He broke a few loaves and divided a few fish to feed 5000 people. He promised us the resurrection power that brought Christ back to life.

With joy we celebrate the Lenten season and remember that God-Who-is-with-us is almightly.

Read more:
*The Lord is righteous, He loves righteousness. Psalm 11:7 (NASB)

*I will walk in freedom, for I have devoted myself to your commandments. Psalm 119:45 NLT

*God himself is righteous and he justifies the one who has faith in Jesus. Romans 3:26 NLT

*And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 NKJV

Moravian Prayer: Help us to be so infused with your spirit, living Christ, that we will not just proclaim empty words but live as your followers. Challenge us by your example to act in ways that are kind, holy, loving, and just. Amen.

Choices about handling change

It's frustrating to be a non-techie in an electronics driven household. New tools that cause great excitement among W and the kids produce dread in me. Oh no. They'll move everything around, upgrade the processes I understand, and shake their heads because I don't intuitively "get it."

This morning I wanted to do something simple: put the Kindle on my IPad so I could read a book. My conversation with my genius husband, during several phone calls:

• He:"Are you sure it's not already there?" Yes. I checked.
• I install it and call him back.
• Me: "It's asking for my account. What are the ID and Password you prefer me to use, please." He: "Check email. Because of hacking, this changes often." 
• I find the email. Call him back.
• He: "BTW: don't install it on your IPad. It's better if you put it on your Mac and access it from there..." 
• ...from which it totally deteriorates. He has a unique access ID for the app store on the IPad. Go there and do ? ... After which I'm supposed to install ? on the Mac? But I'll be accessing the Mac-installed version on the IPad... Huh?
• He: "From what you're telling me, it sounds like you've already got the app." Yes, I did that after the first call. But when I open the app it's asking me for access codes and I still need to know which password he wants the app under... etc.
• He: "Forget it. Bring the IPad to lunch and I'll look at it."

We could have started and ended the conversation with the final line.

I don't understand basic terms or processes because the family "fixes" things on computers I use. Shaking their heads when they lose me at Instruction#2, the guys appropriate my gear, put stuff on it, update it ("Oh please hon, don't install updates. Some of them are spam...") and then wonder why I'm destined for the rest of life as a tech idiot. Something happens to my gurus? We'll have piles of electronics rubbish. C,mon and get it!

Sigh. That's what I get for marrying a brilliant computer nerd and having nerdy children. I envy that term in the most complimentary way. I'm not intuitive in electronics or IT: I've never developed the basic understanding of how things work.

[Mind you, the kids would be clueless with my art materials, in design and decor, and in most of the things I do without thinking. I DID train our four kids to cook and clean so the boys would be good husbands and our daughter could run a home. Lucky girl, she's a design whiz and can do most of what I do better, faster, with more zip. And her brothers help her stay current on all the gadgets. Cool.]

If you're struggling with a category of change like I do with computers, what are our choices?

1. Get someone to implement the change and learn how to use it. (I'm forced to do this since it causes the least disruption on a busy spouse's to-do list.)
2. Watch someone manage incremental changes and updates (or read about them) and try to do it yourself next time. Contact an expert when you're out of your depth. This is usually the easiest way to learn. However, when there's extreme discrepancy between skill sets like between my husband and me in tech, it causes a lot of frustration. "Don't you know you can't do that?" they moan, fixing whatever mess or virus I caused. If you don't choose this option, you stay stupid and behind the curve in understanding what's going on. However, you can use the updated technology/ process/ item in limited ways that may be "enough!" for you.
3. Learn the basics and keep adapting. Start from the ground up. Figure out what's going on so you can flow with changes. This is the healthiest option if you are responsible for changes and have to manage them yourself. My husband and kids constantly exchange information and pool their resources. (My apologies to Sunday lunch guests for the occasional "boring" conversations as they update each other. Mind you, techies are delighted. The rest of us zone out until the letters and numbers stop flying around.)

Thank God for making us all different. He surrounds us with help if we are willing to ask. That assistance may not come the way we hope or expect, but there is enough gifting in those around us to get through the days and tasks as it pleases our Master. Questions to ask in seasons of change:

• What should I be learning and doing myself?
• What should I be asking someone to help me with?
• What should I never touch on my own?

Lord have mercy, she says as she hangs up the phone again. He's shaking his head on the other end, hoping she doesn't touch anything.


Read more:
*My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. Isaiah 55:8

*Jesus said to Simon and Andrew, “Follow me and I will make you fish for people.” And immediately they left their nets and followed him. Mark 1:17-18 

*(Jesus) "Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them."John 13:17
*Be joyful always; pray continually;  give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit’s fire;  do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it. 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-24 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Help us to continue to follow you, O Lord. Restore our hearts and renew our minds so that each action and motive may be of service in spreading your good news. Bless the casting of our nets upon the waters of this world, bringing to shore the bounty and beauty of your will. Amen.

Not too old after all

"Moses was eighty years old, and Aaron was eighty-three when they made their demands to Pharaoh." Exodus 7:7 NLT

Wow, Moses was an old guy - and so was his brother - by the time God called them to lead the people. They had the power and authority of old people, too. They knew who their God was, after many experiences and challenges. They probably knew what they were and weren't capable of... yet God overrode those expectations by giving them stamina for the drudgery of travel and doing incredible miracles through them.

Though Moses objected to his stuttering, he never complained that he was too old for leadership. In today's culture, where senior leaders (even in churches) discard experienced staff for young'uns "who get it," we could learn a lot from God's choice.

God did not seek out a hot youngster with the energy and drive to ride the trends and think "out of the box." The slaves were headed into the desert, for crying out loud. Wouldn't a creative thinker have been great? The Israelites might have had better success with someone who could figure out a direct route across the hot sands! Instead, God chose a seasoned man with past failures that had disqualified him for leadership, a quick temper, a world-class education, and the patience to herd sheep for 40 years.

Caleb and Joshua were not yet ready to take the helm when Moses took the ship's wheel. It would also take them 40 years to understand God's heart, to be proven faithful, and to fight battles that scarred and toughened them and set their faces forward for war and peace.

While you've been beating the bushes for Joshua and Caleb, who's been sitting in your ranks, wise and knowledgeable, waiting to be called to lead the pack?

Is she or he as trustworthy as Moses, unafraid to mentor the next generation through their own growing seasons so they are ready for serious responsibilities?

Maybe we're the ones, looking around and saying, "Hey, are you sure, God? I feel I'm past my prime and no one will listen to me. I'm too old for this. My energy is waning. My memory is going..."

When God says, "Get up. GO! NOW! I AM with you," will we follow him, so that he can lead others through us?

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, 

but if you want to test a man's character, 

give him power." - Abraham Lincoln

"Example is not the main thing in influencing others; 

it is the only thing." - Albert Schweitzer