Just pretending. Or, liar liar.

Do you ever feel like your whole life is one big hideout? Like you're just pretending to be a real person?

I read this in the morning:

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit

of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, 

which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 

2 Corinthians 3:17-18  NIV

That got me thinking about what it would be like to live "unveiled." 

I found a few interesting studies about living untruthfully:

• All of us lie. 
• We lie often.
• Kids learn to lie from watching their parents.
• We invent many excuses for telling lies.
• Lying becomes easier with practice.
• Books on lying have become best-sellers: the subject is compelling and universally practised.

Are you comfortable telling the truth? With having others know everything about you?

My college roommate is one in a million. She decided a few years ago to be honest about everything. Spending time with her is refreshing.

Though she's very nice about it, she's willing to be known as herself, rather than hiding behind PC assumptions. She's not mean, but if she isn't interested in seeing something, she'll let you know. If she doesn't agree, she says so. If she wants to do one thing and not the other, eat a particular food and not another, go here but not there ... just ask her. She'll tell you.

"What do other people think about you being so honest?" I asked her.

"Some people like it and some don't," she admitted. "But I live to please God, who is Truth. This is who I am. Who God made me. And I am willing not to be liked when I tell the truth."

What liberty! How would my unveiled face look to my family? To my neighbor? My coworker? My friends at church? The teammates where I volunteer?

Could you live unveiled? Or do you feel forced to pretend?

In what ways have you told the truth or concealed it? What were the consequences?

Read more: 
*The Lord is coming to judge the earth. He will judge the world with righteousness, and the peoples with equity. Psalm 98:9 NLT

*I love the LORD, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. Psalm 116:1-2 NIV

*Jesus said, "My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to complete his work." John 4:34 NLT

*See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure. 1 John 3:1-3 ESV

Anonymous poem found in her mom's old Bible, shared by friend Sylvia Stewart: 

I am not strong till Thou has clasped my hand,
I am not fit till by Thy side I stand,
I am not brave till Thou hast come to me;
Till Thou has bound me fast, I am not free.

Moravian Prayer: Lord, we wait for you. We know you are coming for us. We know that all things come from you. We are thankful for your presence surrounding us. Grant us wisdom to see your work in us today and every day. Amen.

Living familiar patterns rather than new life?

The beautiful back salon of the boat
rocks in harbor

My desk is rocking on gentle waves. I'm having a hard time keeping my fingers on the keyboard as my office sways back and forth.

Actually, the trees outside the house aren't even moving. It's dead calm. Tea waits quietly in the teacup on the glass desktop.

But when I least expect it, I feel like the chair moves back and forth, up and down. We just spent 4 days cruising the coast on our friends' boat. We didn't feel unsteady when we walked ashore to eat or shop. But once in a while, usually when seated at a restaurant, someone would ask, "Do you still feel like you're on the waves?"

And another would respond, " I think my chair is swaying."

Waldemar sets the bumpers
after leaving the dock

Sometimes our habits are so familiar, traumas from childhood so ingrained, or old patterns so deeply set that we act as though we have no choices. Like the imagined swaying of my office walls, we follow the old grooves in unguarded times:

• We lie to present ourselves favorably instead of answering quick questions with the uncomplicated truth.
• We interact with others as "our best self" (who we think we should be - or as we think others want us to be) rather than being honest about our preferences, backgrounds, or giftings.
• We compromise intimacy in marriage by fantasizing rather than enjoying and building up the spouse who loves us. If we have been traumatized by others, we may not trust ourselves to give our whole heart and soul to our mate.
• We're dishonest at work, claiming benefits that belong to others or stealing supplies and resources that belong to others.
• We pretend to diet at meals or when we eat in public while snacking all day where others can't see us, because food is our comfort or friendly go-to when stressed.
• We lie to ourselves about our strengths and weaknesses, focusing on what we do not have so that we cannot benefit from the beautiful ways God made us and the gifts God gives us.

Waldemar and Terry head for the crab pots

I know where I get off the rails, where my little engine jumps the tracks to ugly, familiar destinations. And when I am hungry, angry, tired, or depressed, it's easiest to get derailed into destructive comforts rather than stay the course.

"Not one of us has achieved the goal of the high calling of God," Paul warned. "Let the one who thinks he/she stands be careful lest he/she falls."

God calls us to new life but salvation is not a magic trick where everything we've known or done disappears so that life becomes perfect. This newborn life has to be defended, guarded, and built upon!

How are you learning to live our your salvation? Here are some guidelines that help me:

Waldemar and Debbie navigating
our course

1. Recognize myself. God called me from where I was, as I was, to follow him.
2. Acknowledge God's power. He is able to transform what we have ruined, to create anew what sin has broken.
3. Thank God for his gift of free will. God lets us choose to obey or disobey. He partners his strength and wisdom with our faith (trusting obedience).
4. Form good habits over time to replace wrong thinking or destructive patterns. Little by little, line by line, one day at a time, we are being transformed into the image of God's son (Romans 12:1-2).
5. Trust that God is enough for each day. When we fall, let's repent. Get up and move forward, believing that God knows you and me inside and out and willingly walks with us on life's journey. If he chose you as his child, he already knows the days you will fail as well as the days you succeed!

Read more:
*Praise the Lord. Praise, O servants of the Lord, praise the name of the Lord. Let the name of the Lord be praised, both now and forevermore. From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised. Psalm 113:1-3 NIV

*[Joab said,] 'Now go out there and congratulate your troops, for I swear by the LORD that if you don't go out, not a single one of them will remain here tonight. Then you will be worse off than ever before.'

So the king went out and took his seat at the town gate, and as the news spread throughout the town that he was there, everyone went to him." 2 Samuel 19:7–8 NLT

*For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9

*Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12

Moravian Prayer: Chief Elder, we elect you each day to be the guiding force in our lives—your ways are so much better than our ways. Help us to trust that you know fully, and if we seek to be like you we will be living life to the fullest. Amen.

The hard conversations

Have you ever had to confront the past in order to move forward? It can be scary.

I had two difficult conversations this week. Both brought up memories of failure and uncompleted tasks. However, I laid to rest my obligations to be honest about the past with leaders. Thankfully, now it's time to move on.

When we fail, watch a collapse or dissolution despite our hard efforts, get fired from a job, or are prevented from fully using our gifts at work or church, we feel frustrated. Afraid. We may be hurt or disappointed. Grief may overwhelm us when we touch the wounded place.

But slapping a bandage on instead of doing a biopsy may allow the cancer to embitter us against future effectiveness.

Each experience of success or defeat can be a lesson. Wiping the brow and walking away with, "Oh well, glad that's over. Let's move on," doesn't help us. Without a careful examination of the failure, we are no wiser. We remain vulnerable to similar mistakes and blind to our own gifts and weaknesses.

Some of us make assumptions about our strengths. We're not as good at some things as we thought, and a wipe-out shows us that a different ministry or job would be a better fit. Or we're too aggressive in a gifting, overwhelming others and defeating teamwork. We ignore the choppy waves in our wake or blame others.

Some of us make assumptions about our weaknesses. We assume responsibility for failure when someone else may have blocked us from using our gifts. We fear that we are not enough to fulfill God's purposes.

And we're too afraid to ask others to confront us and hold us accountable for failures and successes.

Hey, here's good news. God likes you. He likes me. He actually made us as we are so that we can carry out his own plans. When we fall flat, we must ask others to help us scrutinize what happened. People of integrity are not ashamed to tell the truth about my part in failure ... or yours. I love friends who will honestly point our weaknesses as well as praise and nurture strengths.

Once we know about where we've come from, we can jump into the future with confidence and the release of the past. God's forgiveness and the accumulation of wisdom makes it possible.

What hard conversations do you have to have with yourself and others before you are released into full bloom in the future?

Read more:

*Can mortals be righteous before God? Can human beings be pure before
their Maker? Job 4:17

*The teaching of your word gives light, so even the simple can understand." Psalm 119:130

*The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The LORD watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy. My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD. Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever. Psalm 145:17-21 NIV

*Jesus Christ gave himself for us that he might redeem us from all iniquity and purify for himself a people of his own who are zealous for good deeds. Titus 2:14

Moravian Prayer: Gracious Savior, refresh and purify our hearts and minds to lead us to service in your name. Remind us gently that humility, not hubris is the path to serving you. In Jesus' name, Amen.

A good reputation

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

~ John Wooden

USA culture used to be based on a man or woman's word, and a handshake as a firm promise in business or personal life. In a BBC article, all kinds of factors were cited decrying the demise of the United States as a nation that other countries admired. There was banking failure, overspending and military interference, and all the usual hot buttons pressed by international peers.

But I was struck more by the positive things that made this nation great. A belief in opportunity, the value of the person next door as a friend and brother, and legal and moral systems built on Judao-Christian faiths. As those eroded through moral devaluation, corruption, political maneuvering, and wealth disbursement back to the rich, new values emerged: "free" love, looking out for #1, and the one with the most toys wins, among others. Others lost their respect for us as we became selfish and self-centered.

Christians build character by looking always to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. We compare ourselves to him, not to the world around us. It's hard to stay focused in a materialistic world, where getting brings more prestige than being.

But we stand out among our friends and acquaintances with good reputations, not by being slightly better than others, but by being different. Honest. Kind. Loving. Even when telling the truth is to our detriment. Or when kindness costs us ease. Or when love demands sacrifice. In other words, our reputation must be built on sound character.

That's the kind of reputation I'm interested in having. How about you?

Read more:
*And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness. The unclean will not journey on it; it will be for those who walk in that Way; wicked fools will not go about on it. No lion will be there nor will any ferocious beast get up on it they will not be found there.

But only the redeemed will walk there, and the ransomed of the LORD will return.They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away. Isaiah 35:8-10 NIV 


*Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Romans 5:1-2 NIV