It's a wonderful life

My sabbatical came to a crashing halt Sunday. While W represented NU in Montana, I enjoyed the NWMN conference in Coeur D'Alene, Idaho, until Wednesday. My coaching and ministry friends and I visited throughout the event. What fun! I appreciate the investment of friends old and new in us.

In two weeks, I start TESOL classes (teaching English to speakers of other languages). Seattle is full of non-English speakers, so I've wanted to take the course for a while. Since NU offers the 4 semesters required for certification in 4 weeks of summer school, I might as well plunge in.

When that's done, we're on our way to teach in SE Asia. W gets to teach theology, which he loves. I still have course prep to finish: as usual, it's a course new to me and not my main interest. Thank God for faculty friends who loaned me their notes. I'm teaching their courses in their names. (Thanks, Lois! and Barbara.)

We've found good house-sitters, which helps make the time away easy. Our big family reunion and a 60th anniversary arrive in August, but we will celebrate that at our cabin. So... life is swiftly moving along. I'll be training for a new job, come fall. More on that later.

It's time to catch a deep breath and plunge right in!

How can we transition in busy seasons, where everything we've done comes together into "whatever that looks like next"?

1. Know who we are and who God is. Get our bearings before we cross the bridge of transition or launch the boat for the distant shore.
2. Know what we love and want to do. What makes our hearts sing? What's a good fit? (On the flip side, what would we most dread doing, no matter what the paycheck?)
3. Gather our assets. Pull together the education, experience, and other resources - including friends and coworkers - who will help us realize the future.
4. Write down a plan and our action steps. (If you can't figure those out, get a coach. I'm one, and would love to help you in a session or more. You'll be amazed how much you accomplish in a coaching hour!)
5. Begin to move in the direction of the next thing. Use what we know, because some parts of a new season won't appear until we're on our way.
6. Gather advisers - spiritual, mental, emotional, even physical - who are willing and ready to assist us. Let's listen to them and let their counsel guide our transitional process. 
7. Make sure God is with us each step of the way. Keep our spiritual flame alight and "hot": this is not the time to reduce our spiritual disciplines and devotions.
8. Embrace change. Transition is a wild uncertain ride, filled with joys and traumas. We're leaving behind the past for an unknown future. If God is in it, we'll be okay. And the future will be more astonishing and crazy-wonderful than we can imagine.

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*I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever. Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. Psalm 145:1-3 NIV

*I will make with you an everlasting covenant. Isaiah 55:3 NLT

*For this reason we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away from it. For if the word spoken through angels proved unalterable, and every transgression and disobedience received a just penalty,  how will we escape if we neglect so great a salvation?

After it was at the first spoken through the Lord, it was confirmed to us by those who heard, God also testifying with them, both by signs and wonders and by various miracles and by gifts of the Holy Spirit according to His own will. Hebrews 2:1-4  NASB

*We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. Hebrews 6:12 (NIV)

Moravian Prayer: Lord, you named yourself “I Am that I Am” – a title of stability in a world that is confusing and ever changing, with new aims and ways to achieve them almost daily. Satisfyingly, we keep our eyes fixed on you, our one destination, knowing its way. Amen.

Lent Day 37: Too dumb to know better?

Really bad. Really good. It's been one of those days. We classmates almost thought we knew what we were doing yesterday. Today we're sure we have no clue! I sat in the back of the room today to watch more and ask less. (Not sure that worked!)

In the first segment on "How to ask good coaching questions," I asked a dreadful question. The person to whom it was addressed felt defensive and unguarded. My "neutral curiosity" went unsatisfied and s/he didn't get any further in the journey.

I'm glad I typed verbatim notes as we were talking. I plan to examine what I actually said to see why the client - and most of the class- heard it the way they did, rather than how I intended to communicate. I'd like to avoid such crash-and-burnouts in future, both for the coaching client and for me.

In a later session, I remarked on something that seemed obvious to me. The lead trainer said, "Wow. In 10 years of coaching, I've never had someone come up with that observation. That was excellent." (HA HA; I bet raw recruits are like me. = We don't have a clue what we know and don't know, most of the time.)

If our personal worth resulted from any part of "good" or "bad" learning, we would have been in heaven and hell today. Yet no one cares about our failure but we. I chuckled when someone sitting nearby whispered, "Glad it was you, not me," after I flamed out. The class joked about "the awful question" all day.

I marvel at and relish the learning process. My way to understand new information comes from handling the material - sometimes aloud in a group - turning it over and over until it makes sense. Others students sit and listen, processing internally. Still others write everything down, going over the information at home. I wonder how Jesus learned best. If he was quick and nimble or careful and methodical.

No matter what class I'm in, I love to learn. I am insatiably interested in God's work among us. I want to know why people think and feel and act as they do. What is God doing that we can join? And what do we know or have that can help each other?

Thanks to our coaches for great demonstrations, to our coworkers for courage and spunk in the interactions, and especially, thanks be to God for his unsearchable riches in Christ Jesus. What a great day, the weird and the amazing moments included.

How's your day gone? Got any highlights to share? Any disasters to ponder?

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*'Blessed be the name of God from age to age, for wisdom and power are his. Daniel 2:20 NLT

*The Lord is my strength and my might; he has become my salvation. Psalm 118:14 NLT

*I delight in the way of your decrees as much as in all riches. Psalm 119:14 NLT*The world's sin is that it refuses to believe in me. John 16:9 NLT

*Where is the one who is wise? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 1 Corinthians 1:20 NLT

*May the God of peace make you complete in everything good so that you may do his will, working among us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Hebrews 13:20,21 NLT

Moravian Prayer: Lord, work through us and in us today so we may delight in your way and show this way to others. We wish to bring peace to those around us in need of calm and completeness.

God, you are not a God of vengeance, cruelty, greed, or hate. Why have we not learned this? You call us against the world’s standards to love foolishly in all things. Help us to live your way of love. Amen.

Lent Day 36: What excites you?

Jodi Detrick is one of three master coaches teaching us principles of coaching. She exclaimed, "When I took coach training, I found what I was made for." (R paraphrase)

I'm with Jodi. I would be honored to copycat her any day of the week, but this instance would actually be a good fit. At the end of the day, the coaching practise (on fellow class members) felt relaxing AND energizing. As I listened to the stories and watched the process of coaching, I experienced God's delight at the various journeys of His children. For me, coaching and observing the coaching process resonated as an act of worship.

Many came to the class already gifted in helping others find their way. These learners are filling their toolbox with new tools.

For some, the coaching ideas were new and a stretch: "I didn't know what questions to ask." "I didn't know what to say as the coach." "I found myself giving advice from my experience instead of listening to what the person I was coaching wanted to talk about." Luckily, we have a few more days to clarify expectations and methodology.

Have you ever had someone say, "Find and follow your passion!" That's a stale-sounding buzz-phrase. What's passion, after all?

Whatever God has wired us to do will resonate from the tip of our head to the soles of our feet. We will find joy and completeness - or "our passion" - when we function in our design. It's worth taking the risk to fulfill the niche for which you and I are here, in this place, at this time, with our education (or lack of it), our personality, and our experience.

Whether or not you are an emotionally "passionate" person, embracing God's calling in YOUR work - whether that is at an assembly-line job or a creative flinging about the world - will produce harmony, peace, and wholeness. Jesus showed us how a human could live in perfect alignment to the Father, moving with joy and expectation through each wonderful and terrible day.

Our spiritual act of worship includes offering our bodies to God. We use our bodies to work. To play. To create. To restore. To produce. To rest.

Does the way you use your body each day glorify God and bring you healthy and holistic pleasure?

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*The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; I have a goodly heritage. Psalm 16:6 NLT

*God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Psalm 46:1-3 NIV

*Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24 NIV

Moravian Prayer: In you, O Christ, all boundaries have fallen away. You taught us to see each other as siblings and friends, and invited us to see you in the faces of those in need. This day, may it be so. Amen.

What to do when you're not your mother (or your father)

I like pretty things. There. I admit it. That's no surprise to those who know me. I get that from my mom.

Growing up, I tried to be like my mom and like the things my mother liked in clothes, decor, and social interactions. Yet I consistently fought off things that were feminine and frilly. I was impatient with her attention to detail. It's still not my style to dress up and put on makeup, though it's become my habit (after a lecture from women I trust: "Your makeup isn't for you. It's for those of us who have to look at you all day long." Ha ha. I got the point.)

I eventually gave up and realized I'm not my mom. I've learned a lot from her but I'm more like Dad. That's not a bad thing, eh, Dad? But once in a while - even today - I wish I were more like my mother.

Classic 1960s French roll

My mom kept her house in perfect order. She still works like a slave to dust and cook and clean. She actually likes doing laundry and finds ironing soothing. She's kept Dad's clothes spotless and pressed so he looks sharp. (Sure, once in a while he escapes in his flannel plaid shirts to his workshop.)

Mom dressed up. Always. Her hair was twisted in a French bun, immaculately held in place by a few bobby pins and hairspray. We all wore our "Sunday best" to go to the doctor's or dentist. Mom attired my brothers in little suits for church. She sewed amazing dresses for me, many of which I disliked because the colors and patterns didn't feel good to me. Even then, I knew what I liked, right, Mom?

I look at those photos of us as a family, beautifully decked out in the current fashions - and admire my mom. She has classic taste with her own chic twist. She was always in style, trendy and fashionable in minis in her 30s and early 40s. (Those were the 1970s, after all.) And she has classic beauty today, in her 70s.

I'm as happy in jeans and ugly sweatshirts as I am dressed to the nines. (Maybe happier.) I don't care much if my hair is cooperating or not. I cut it myself in the shower, where I can feel the wet shape I'm sculpting. I look in the mirror in the morning and hope for the best thereafter, ignoring the huge mirrors throughout my home and office that reflect light and space.

I've wished I were more like my mother when I've given in to my natural inclination and find myself ignored by customer service: "She's plain." To me, "What do you want?" Yup, it makes a difference to show up fully armed for retail with makeup and decent clothes.

My mom's special on the inside, too. She loves God and seeks to follow him closely. She's friendly, kind, and a caring servant. SHE has the gift of mercy and not an enemy in the world, the peacemaker in her family and among her confidants.

Me? Not so much. I often ask myself, "What would Mom do?" when I feel like rushing into war with a battle cry, as is my inclination. Ok, I admit I'm not always good at asking that ... and find myself and others bloodied around me. Lord have mercy!

How can we benefit from knowing others with admirable traits that we don't have ... without becoming envious or feeling belittled?

1. Keep admiring. You become what you behold. (Or you get closer, anyway.)
2. Thank God for that person and pray for them. That way you add to their strength rather than comparing yourself unfavorably.
3. Learn every lesson you can. Imitate the good in others to grow stronger yourself.
4. Believe and rejoice in a God who loves variety. He made me different than Mom "because you have a different job to do," as she's told me more than once.
5. Live as yourself. God lavished his loving creativity on us; we have unique abilities, experiences, and momentum to live large and beautifully in our own life and space.
6. Look around to see who you can boost, people like you and not like you.

 Who's your hero? Whom do you admire?

Mom, you're definitely high on my list. Love you! and I still want to be like you, even in my 50s.

Read more:
*When you enter the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord; because of these same detestable practices the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you. You must be blameless before the Lord your God. Deuteronomy 18:9-13

*Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. Therefore I urge you to imitate me. For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church. 1 Corinthians 4:15-17

*... our gospel came to you not simply with words but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. You became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you welcomed the message in the midst of severe suffering with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. 1 Thessalonians 1:5-7

Lent Day 9: Thankful for knowing and being known

"Why was David a man after God's own heart?" someone asks. Perhaps because he did not run ahead? Knowing he was to be king, he spared his predecessor twice––during manhunts for his own life.

A group of us circled a beautifully appointed living room last night (thanks, Paul and Bev). Once a month we meet to study Bible characters. Each one exposes God and humanity = God's interaction with us in community and as individuals. Yesterday, David came under the magnifying glass.

We read scripture passages aloud and then discuss the nature of God, the nature of humans, and our response to God within the joys and challenges of our own humanity. On the way home, W and I talked about what we had learned.

• My personal takeaway? Creating opportunity for others to understand God's truths makes me happier than when I learn things myself. Clear as a bell, my heart rang out with the pure joy and energy of leading a group. 
• Training and teaching others feels like finding a puzzle piece or watching internal gears click into place. A sense of ease and comfort comes from facilitating the exploration and application of scripture. This is not something I struggle to learn or do but who I am. I'm surprised by sheer happiness every time I speak in public.
• What we learned about Samuel and David? Samuel, the veteran leader and intercessor of Israel, was stuck. The worst thing had happened to his successor: Saul was a dud. Yet God was ready to move on and provided Samuel with the satisfaction of anointing the next generation.
• David had tremendous self-confidence because he knew his God and himself. He was comfortable in the gifts God gave him, a love of music, the ability to strategize, the confidence to run toward a giant who was defying God's name. When given an opportunity, David seized it and did the job with gusto (unlike Saul whose lack of self-confidence never matched up to his kingly appearance.)
• David did menial jobs with enthusiasm and never pushed himself into the foreground. Knowing he would be king and having accomplished champion feats, David willingly stood in the background of the palace, playing music and lugging armor while Saul ruled. (I wonder how many of David's ideas for sound monarchy came from observation: "Wow, good plan there!" or the contrast: "Saul, what are you thinking!? This is a bad idea." 1 Samuel 16)
• As the youngest brother, he got no respect from his dad, who didn't even call him to dinner with Samuel. (Read the full story below.) His older siblings discounted him––even after they had watched Samuel anoint David for kingship (shades of Joseph?) David's feisty response of "What have I done wrong now?!" possibly exposes a pattern of family put-downs and "Go away, little brother, you don't know anything." (1 Samuel 17)
• David used his own gifts, training, and experiences rather than relying on the proven armor and battle plans of others. He laid aside the burden of Saul's armor (though he had been an armor bearer for the king and probably knew it well) for smooth stones and a stick, tools he felt comfortable with.
• David pinpointed the heart of the issue rather than looking at circumstances. He recognized Goliath as God's enemy, not as a human giant or seasoned opponent and dealt with him on that basis. The fight as well as the victory belonged to God. However, David did not let go of Goliath's severed head until he was taken to the king as proof of his accomplishment. Hmmm.
• David had many opportunities to make God's plans come true but he was unwilling to act beyond what he knew of God's character. Because of this, he and those allied with him suffered while: 1. others got credit and lived in the inner circle; 2. David was hunted like an animal and led a rabble pack of raiders; and 3. he absolutely rejected chances to seize power through "divine appointments," even when prompted by others.

Maybe David's patient humility, decidedly unusual among those in power or the ambitious, endeared him to God. Though David committed adultery, murder, and disobeyed God in many ways, God saw a heart that longed for obedience and surrender.

When Samuel came to anoint one of Jesse's sons as future king, he noted that God looked on the inner person rather than the outward appearance. David's quest to please God and his willingness to let God work out the details in God's time set him head and shoulders above seven brothers. It made the shepherd "of a few sheep" (according to a snide remark from his brother) an amazing leader of a nation.

I'm ending a season of study. I get many suggestions of what I could do and where God might be leading me. The study of David reinforced my caution against moving forward and making things happen. I'm going to wait for God's go-ahead and a clear call to action.

Oh God, may we seek and obey you with the humble confidence that knows you are pleased with how you made us and have a place for us. You are able to use us without our "help" in pushing others aside, propelling ourselves forward, or boasting about our accomplishments. 

Make us beautiful inside so that your Spirit can direct us in life's menial and circuitous paths as needed, whether kingship or sheep herder is our destiny. Amen.

Read more:
*The LORD said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king.”

But Samuel said, “How can I go? If Saul hears about it, he will kill me.”

The LORD said, “Take a heifer with you and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the LORD.’ ³ Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what to do. You are to anoint for me the one I indicate.”

Samuel did what the LORD said. When he arrived at Bethlehem, the elders of the town trembled when they met him. They asked, “Do you come in peace?”Samuel replied, “Yes, in peace; I have come to sacrifice to the LORD. Consecrate yourselves and come to the sacrifice with me.”

Then he consecrated Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice. When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the LORD’s anointed stands here before the LORD.”

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, “The LORD has not chosen this one either.” Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, “Nor has the LORD chosen this one.” Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, “The LORD has not chosen these.” So he asked Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have?”

“There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered. “He is tending the sheep.”

Samuel said, “Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.” So he sent for him and had him brought in. He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features.

Then the LORD said, “Rise and anoint him; this is the one.” So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the LORD came powerfully upon David. 1 Samuel 16

*Read more about David in 1 Samuel 17 through 2 Samuel 2.

Passing on the glory

Mentoring and coaching affirm and boost skills and opportunities in others. It's not that hard to find people who claim to be a mentor or coach, but quality varies widely.

I LOVE my coach, Jodi Detrick. She clarifies my thinking, asks thoughtful questions that make me pause to consider options, and helps put my goals into focus. Her assistance and counsel opened several doors for me this spring that I would never have been able to pass through alone. Without self-promotion or hesitation, she's done the same for many influencial leaders across the nation. Thanks, Jodi!

David's trials with his son Absalom spotlight the humility, generosity, and astonishing character of Barzillai the Gileadite (2 Samuel 19:31-39). Absalom rebels and chases his father from Jerusalem, Barzillai stands by his king, providing supplies and assistance. As David returns after Absalom's insurrection ends, he offers Barzillai a place in the King's palace, benefits of influence and access, and a seat at his table.

The old man is a realist. "I'm 80, and rich food and influence don't really interest me. However, there's someone I value, someone who has served well, and who would benefit from your offer. Let me present my servant Kimham. I'd love to promote him because I can't take full advantage of your kindness myself."

Kimham got his big break when he worked for Barzillai. But the old man went beyond mentoring and giving good job reviews. He placed his protegee in the seat of power to his own loss, boosting him into circles of high influence, catapulting him into King David's inner circle. The prophet Jeremiah mentions a city named after Kimham (Jer. 41:17), though we don't read any more about the younger man's exploits with David or his sons. It was up to Kimham to live up to his opportunity.

Some mentors offer advice and training, but feel threatened, resentful, and angry when their servant becomes greater than they, when their hireling achieves stardom, or when the mentor is left behind. Such greedy leaders note their own stalemate and erect roadblocks for underlings instead of continually pushing others forward. They promote themselves, sabotage others' good ideas, and fight to stay on top of their hierarchical heap.

I wish I'd had a boss like Barzillai. Growing up, my own dad created great expectations of such leadership. I've watched him shamelessly encourage and promote employees and younger talent who showed any lick of ambition or courage. Every eager and gifted employee longs for a promoter and booster like him.

Like my father, I am determined to copy Barzillai, rejoicing when people I mentor surpass my abilities and achievements.

If you have position or power in your organization, deliberately step back from the limelight to promote others. Help them excel beyond your sphere of authority. Boost them to pass you by, do better than you, and make you proud as they stand on your strong shoulders.

When someone who once worked for you becomes great in the ocean outside your little fishpond, let them name you as the fearless, honest power broker who made them shine. This is the only way your influence can expand and lives on through others' greater glory and achievements.

Like Barzillai, you will become known and admired in wide circles beyond any grappling, politicking, or self-protection that promotes your own interests and hard-won executive post. Live big! (I promise it won't make you smaller.)

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*Barzillai the Gileadite also came down from Rogelim to cross the Jordan with the king and to send him on his way from there. Now Barzillai was a very old man, eighty years of age. He had provided for the king during his stay in Mahanaim, for he was a very wealthy man.

The king said to Barzillai, “Cross over with me and stay with me in Jerusalem, and I will provide for you.”

But Barzillai answered the king, “How many more years will I live, that I should go up to Jerusalem with the king? I am now eighty years old. Can I tell the difference between what is good and what is not? Can your servant taste what he eats and drinks? Can I still hear the voices of men and women singers? Why should your servant be an added burden to my lord the king? Your servant will cross over the Jordan with the king for a short distance, but why should the king reward me in this way? Let your servant return, that I may die in my own town near the tomb of my father and mother. But here is your servant Kimham. Let him cross over with my lord the king. Do for him whatever pleases you.”

The king said, “Kimham shall cross over with me, and I will do for him whatever pleases you. And anything you desire from me I will do for you.”

So all the people crossed the Jordan, and then the king crossed over. The king kissed Barzillai and gave him his blessing, and Barzillai returned to his home. When the king crossed over to Gilgal, Kimham crossed with him. All the troops of Judah and half the troops of Israel had taken the king over. 2 Samuel 19: 31-40 NIV