Lent Day 7: Life in test mode

 I failed a test this week. I prepped for it, stepped up to the plate, and fell flat over my sneaker laces. Maybe you've been there:

• When you miss a deadline, do you beat yourself up for it? 
• If someone comes in the door and your entry is a mess, do you fret for days? 
• If a deadline seems out of reach, do you give up instead of pressing on for one more try?
• You had a great opportunity and it flopped. Now you are scared to try again.

 One of the hardest tasks for goal-setters and high achievers is self-forgiveness. Letting go of failure. Looking beyond the obvious miss to a possible future win.

"Always Hopeful" by Toni Grote

We sometimes find it easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves. Is there something in your past (or in the day) that you need to release in order to move forward?

God has completely forgiven us through Jesus Christ. That means he does not remember our sins against us. He knows we have messed up (there's no God-amnesia, after all!) but he doesn't hold our past against our future.

Consider doing the same for yourself today. Learn from the past. Let it go. Then look to the future with hope and a sense of possibility.

Read more:
 *The Lord says, "I will not continually accuse, nor will I always be angry." Isaiah 57:16

*Jesus said to the paralyzed man, “Friend, your sins are forgiven you.” Luke 5:20

*Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Forgiving Savior, as we journey through this season of Lent, our hearts are overwhelmed with awe and gratitude for the patience and love you show us. Bless us always thus, we pray. Amen.

Myths and Fables vs. true religion

Hindu offering

When did you last marvel at the direction spirituality has taken in the West? For me, it was this morning.

I opened an email from Mother Earth News, offering a free viewing of a film, titled “I Am.” Its caption: “What if the solution to the world’s problems was right in front of us all along? Everyone needs to see this film!” And below, a quote from Buddha: “Be a light unto yourself.” The film was produced for Gaiam TV, a Hindu-based (yoga) network.

The questions filmmaker Tom Shadyac asks: “What’s wrong with the world? And what can we do to fix it?”

Buddhist art

I’m bemused when I hear accusations that Christianity is only myths and fables. There’s more archaeological evidence for the historicity of – and more manuscripts of – biblical writings than any other historical documents of the time. Yet where are the scholars who are tearing into the Koran, Hindu writings, or Buddhist scripts with presumptions that they are forgeries, made-up tales of lunatic writers, or historically inaccurate. Why attack the Bible so fiercely?

Religion is humanity’s attempt to please God or the gods by doing something. Sacrifices, pilgrimages, prayers, and rituals are part of systems responding to the Unseen, appeasing the gods, or winning favor.

Torah scroll

The Creator understood our human need to express devotion and attention, to make appeals and requests, and to understand our surroundings. Books 2-5 of Moses (Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy) explained to Israelites – uneducated, raw from slavery and oppression, and being shaped by I AM into a innovative culture of blessing to the world – how God could be approached. The laws and rituals realigned them from pagan idolatry to the Creator’s nature of lovingkindness, goodness, and justice.

Alternative "medicine"

But we hate being told what to do! It’s easier to:

·      walk on a bed of nails

·      breathe in and out contemplatively, thinking only of the current moment, blocking out our sins or suffering

·      deprive oneself of pleasures in a monastery

·      endure hunger, heat, and cold in the name of self-actualization

·      devise strict systems of discipline in eating, exercise, and meditation

·      focus on self as the center of the universe and the solution for world peace, environmental care, self-love, or whatever the faddish focus

·      slavishly follow a charismatic guru with wise-sounding philosophies

·      chip off part of God’s Truth and manipulate until it twists and warps to fit us rather than molds our nature to please God …

… than it is to do as God has told us.

The Ten Commandments

God hasn’t suggested inner happiness and wholeness. Instead, he’s laid out for us exactly what it would take to achieve those things. Hard things, that cut to the core of our motivation, like:

·      honor God, not only with words but with actions, with our time and wealth, with our energy and devotion

·      become friends to the poor and needy and help them bear their burdens

·      love others as we love ourselves

·      meditate on God’s Word and let it shape our lives

·      pray, fast, and do other spiritual disciplines as alignment with God rather than as self-discipline and self-promotion

·      be thankful for what God has given us: the husband/wife/single life, the family, the possessions, the job, the ---

·      keep ourselves free from unforgiveness and jealousy so that our relationships are sweet rather than bitter

These things require self-renouncement without external praise or affirmation from others. They happen between us and God. And God judges the heart, knowing how sincere our motivation and how much integrity we have.

DIY - or not ...

Ugh. There’s no faking it with God, so we’d rather turn away from our shame and failings to devise our own systems of right-ness. We feel better when we can attain some goodness without accountability. We prefer “DIY” checklists rather than exposure to God’s searchlight of perfection and his solution of Christ as Savior, Benefactor, and PeaceMaker.

Because of this, complicated myths and fables arise in cultures, becoming systems of worship and self-protection against spiritual beings. Anthropologists record many stories of the Flood, tales of Father and Son gods who save their people, and rules upon rules of behavior that mimic the Ten Commandments. Our first parents knew the stories and passed them down, interwoven with human worship systems.

Muslim pilgrims

Why are religious counterfeits still so compelling and enduring today? Why am I reading nonsense from Mother Earth News promoting self-idolatry? Because we instinctively know God’s ways. In Self-preservation, we reject the laws he has written on our conscience and refuse guidance by his Holy Spirit.

Rebuffing his good direction has always brought deceit and religiosity … without life. It has killed us from the inside out: entire cultures become cruel and self-seeking. We are able to do things so vile – in the name of religion – that other humans shudder in disbelief. Sacrifice of children to ensure the harvest, maiming the innocent for temple worship, mass slaughter of those who disagree with our beliefs. Unthinkable. It’s been going on since humanity’s rebellion against God’s prescription, “Do not eat of this one fruit, because it will kill you.”

To those seeking self-actualization through guided meditation or physical movement, harmony through good works and positive thoughts, or self-medicating with the jewels of materialism, remember that we’re not inventive. Idols have always appealed to more people than the terror, accountability, and overwhelming awe of a relationship with the Living God.

Accepting the sacrifice; telling the Story

Today, we may choose again – for or against Him, but only on His terms.

Achieving a true flow or “harmony” with the Creator’s purposes (glory to God, peace on earth, and goodwill toward humanity) will cost us everything. Our pride. Our self-will. Ownership of anything. Human systems of religious accomplishment and recognition. It will even cost some of us our lives, today or in the future.

But what we win, what we win! Life, inner peace, joy, Love, kindness, goodness, self-control, friendship with God, integrity, and wholeness.

What is that kind of a life worth to you?

Read more:

* Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24 NIV

*If you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord. Jeremiah 29:13-14

*Zacchaeus climbed a sycamore tree to see Jesus, because he was going to pass that way. When Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, hurry and come down; for I must stay at your house today.” Luke 19:4-5

Moravian Prayer: O Lord, sometimes it is difficult to hear your voice amid the everyday noise and distractions of our lives. Pause our lives, if only for an instant, to let us hear you clearly and know that you are still with us. Amen. 

The weird kind of normal ... or is it ... the normal kind of weird?

"Almost one in four American adults can be classified with a mental disorder," said the article. Oh please! Such thinking keeps medical companies rolling in money as we agree to dull the edges of normal human behavior.

Young children who should be venting their energy by doing chores and playing tag sit in a stupor in front of the TV. The blazing colors and frenetic motion of the screen keeps them motionless. When their bodies erupt into "bad behaviors" like tantrums and hyperactivity, we schlep them to the doctor's to drug them into submission.

Children go to school and are penalized for their random creativity. Consider the intelligence of the homeschooler who was tasked to do a page of creative writing.

"May I do it on the computer," he asked, in the first days of desktops, before any of us besides Waldemar could identify Times Roman, Arial, or Helvetika. The child thought for the better part of 15 minutes and handed in a sheet with only three lines.

Creative writing

Creative writing

Creative writing

Clearly a brilliant student destined for failure in the normal educational system. Such individuality, rather than being prized, creates "disciplinary problems" in large classrooms teaching students conformity with sanitized, politically correct information and behavior control.

Young adults who have never done a useful day's work for others or felt the exhaustion of physical labor in exchange for food,  play violent video games or drug themselves out of their boredom year in and year out. They grow up without acquiring a moral compass or learning self-discipline. Then we diagnose them with social maladjustment and complain that they are incapable of holding a job.

We've remove the boundaries of consideration for others and human decency and replaced them with a plethora of rules. Our Swiss friends commented that doing business in the USA is the most legally-prohibitive exploit they've encountered. They've worked in Asia, Africa, and Europe.

Why do we have so many regulations? Every time someone does something stupid, they blame others for the consequences. Dump a hot cup of coffee into my lap while driving? I'll blame the fast-food chain for not writing a warning on the cup - and win millions in the legal lottery. Tar up my lungs with 3 packs of cigarettes a day? Maybe I can weasel a fortune from the tobacco companies. If someone like a pastor or doctor makes a mistake (God help them if they are not the perfect Jesus), I can sue them or leave the church in discontent.

Worried that creativity is restricted to the few? The human race has always been mostly made of peasants working the fields (or offices or factories). I can live with that - my house has to be cleaned and my yard weeded. Most of my family goes off to jobs or school every day, drudgery  on a day-to-day level that produces good work and societal progress.

The 'leaning' Gates of Europe, Madrid

However, we also do crazy, quirky things that have our friends scratching their heads. We occasionally look at other people and wonder if they have gone mad. Is there something wrong with that? Or is it the genius and individual flair that God invests in his creations to please him and do his work?

Hand me a pill. Quick. Before I do something stupid. Or brilliant.

Read more:

* My friend Kim wrote me this morning: 

"I have often contemplated the difference between self medication (all the way from Indian medicines to alcohol and opiates in days gone by to our current mode) - although many still self medicate with marijuana and alcohol along with utilizing pharmaceuticals. I think how we handle our imbalances is interesting.

"I do agree that many 'disorders' are just flavor. ADD for the most part is one of those. Highly creative people tend to focus for very short bursts. However, we have seen the downside to imbalances. ... Casting [our anxiety on Christ?] –– some days it takes a lot of mental space to do that." 

Here's some meditation for your mental space this morning:

*The Lord God called to the man, and said to him, "Where are you?" He said, "I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid." Genesis 3:9,10

*Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening. 1 Samuel 3:9

*Jesus said, "I have come to call not the righteous but sinners." Mark 2:17

*Christ says, "Anyone who hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life, and does not come under judgment, but has passed from death to life." John 5:24

Moravian Prayer: So often fear and doubt lead us away from you, yet still you seek us, calling our name. O steadfast One, rather than shamefully hide, may we come forth and meet you, who loves us just as we are! Amen.

Lent Day 3: Thankful for "no"

No snacks before bed. That's my Lenten discipline. Big deal? Maybe.

The Becoming Minimalist blog, "The Opportunity of Lent," challenges readers to ask, "What can't I live without?" Sad me -- "bedtime snacks" popped into my head. Mind you, I had just plunged my hand into a warm bag of kettle corn, propped up in bed watching "House." I eat enough during the day that I won't go hungry, so what's the big deal about denying myself snacks before bed?

From my bedside trash, I cleared bags for the snacks I've consumed over the course of a month:

• chocolate chips (TJs vegan, eaten over 2+ weeks. Just sayin'. Shame on me.)
• dark chocolate bar
• veggie "chips"
• kettle corn popcorn

How did those empty bags get in? I lost ten lbs in December by cutting down on huge meals and constant snacking. I haven't gained since and am at a good weight. My conclusion? It's time to fill myself on core food like salads, grains, and fruit which keep me fueled with few calories and many nutrients.

The Lent Minimalist blog reminded me that I am fully dependent on God.

When I abuse the abundance he provides or trust my own resources, abilities, and finances, idolatry and distractions easily capture my heart. I want to be devoted to God through my simple "no" this season. I trust it will remind me to say yes to a life fully devoted, with God's priorities and provisions guiding the way ahead.

I am grateful for the opportunities where God teaches me by helping me say, "No."

What about you? Click this link to read the Becoming Minimalist blog that inspired me.

Read more:

*Happy are those who make the Lord their trust. Psalm 40:4

*Thieves are jealous of each other's loot, but the godly are well rooted and bear their own fruit." Proverbs 12:12

*The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Isaiah 58:11 NIV

*Suddenly, a man in the synagogue who was possessed by an evil spirit began shouting, 'Why are you interfering with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are—the Holy One of God!'

Jesus cut him short. 'Be quiet! Come out of the man,' he ordered. At that, the evil spirit screamed, threw the man into a convulsion, and then came out of him. Mark 1:23–26

*If for this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied. 1 Corinthians 15:19

Moravian Prayer: Lord God, our hope is in you and we are thankful your love for us remains unconditional. May we as a people delight in that love as we walk in your path of righteousness. Amen.

Temper fires banked

Moses smashed the commandments of God, the very words God had chiseled from rock with His own hand. Yikes. Now that's a temper with which I can identify!

When I was a kid, I'd throw myself on the floor in a rage, feet thrashing. I kicked the stain off my piano from the height of four-year-old toes to the pedals. Yes, I hated practicing. As I got older, my bedroom door would slam behind me. My folks would occasionally reward me for the "smash" of wood against trim with a well-placed spanking. Kindly folk, who trained me in self-control. (Thank you!)

In adulthood, the best discipline for self-control was getting married and having children. I watched friends who were screamers, berating their spouses and kids. It wasn't attractive, especially when their anger erupted in public. I indulged at home once in a while, when the volcano of frustration heated beyond holding, but I didn't like myself for it. I didn't want my temper to define our family.

Through much prayer, long walks, and lots of writing, God helped me develop a sense of resignation. Sometimes that felt like, "I'm glad we have food and shelter and healthy kids." Sometimes it was, "I'm glad it's not worse." Occasionally, I hunkered down with, "I'm stuck in my life. Like or lump it."

Sometimes, like Moses, God would make me "re-chisel the stone tablet" and write on it myself to replace his first good gift, which I had ruined during a flash of anger. I learned to bite my tongue and write write write my feelings in private, rather than blowing up the household.

God always brought peace––beyond mere resignation––when I came to him with a grateful heart. "Thank you for all your blessings! I have so much more than I deserve or could ever earn. You have given me life, breath, salvation, family, friends... everything I need and more."

Those of us born with quick tempers (oh, how nice that sounds, compared to the death flares we spew) don't have to live with the fear of losing control. We don't have to scream and rage. Those with a devastating, internal anger don't have to lock ourselves away to give others the silent treatment.

"A man with a lack of self-control is like a city with broken walls," said the wise teacher. A city without strong walls was vulnerable to attack, fair prey for bandits and roving armies.

Fortunately for us, God has promised to replace old patterns and bad habits that don't serve Him or others. He can rebuild the walls broken by hurt and frustration, if we let him.

Are we willing to give him free reign, to lift heavy stones into place, to chisel and sand with blunt and directed blows, to make the rough smooth? It's an ongoing painful process, but it frees us to be fully human, engaged in life with joy and energy. Our relationships and our own happiness depend on our obedience and submission, even when life constricts, teaching us patience and surrender.

Read more:

"Then the LORD told Moses, 'Chisel out two stone tablets like the first ones. I will write on them the same words that were on the tablets you smashed.' …

'You must worship no other gods, for the LORD, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you.' Exodus 34:1, 14 NLT

*O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever. Psalm 106:1

*See, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth, I tell you of them. Isaiah 42:9

*Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

*The darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining. 1 John 2:8

Moravian Prayer: Merciful God, forgive us when we become distracted today by our tasks and appointments. We desire to keep you in the center of our lives, but the demands on us make that hard. We pray for your help.  

God of creating light, you were in the beginning before anything existed. You continue to create. All that you touch becomes new and sacred. Thank you for the light in us and for making us new today. Amen.

She's a-comin'

Sometime in the next week or two, we hope to meet our first grandchild. Melissa's doctor predicts a girl and we're looking forward to saying hello to her.

"Have you looked at all the cute things for baby girls?" my friends kept asking. "Such fantastic things! You can spend your whole afternoon in the little girl section of a store!"

Until this week, I've resisted gathering baby stuff. Melissa's friends and family rallied at a huge baby shower last weekend, and we had no idea what gifts Baby would receive. This week I found a Britax stroller/carseat on CL, and Rebekah passed along a Graco play-set with "the works" for traveling and infant comfort. Along with newborn disposable diapers, our purchases are done for now.

While I puzzle together the baby stuff, W's busy nesting elsewhere. He's finished the top tread of bamboo on the stairs this morning. Now he is sanding the conservatory. When I moved the furniture out earlier, the sun-darkened wood outlined the edges of the rugs. The raw fir floor, installed at Christmas, has shifted as it absorbed heat, cold, and humidity. Over the past months, a few canine guests added their yellow inspirations in a few places.

I remember my impatience and obsession with our babies' development during pregnancy. Every day stretched into endless hours and minutes of waiting. I'd wake up thinking, "23 weeks, 2 days. Morning." At noon, I'd remember, "23 weeks, 2 days. Lunch.) In the evening, it would still be, "23 weeks, 2 days. Ah, it's finally evening." 

The next day I'd wake with, "23 weeks, 3 days. Oh no, I still have the whole day to get through." In a mean twist of fate, I delivered our first child 15 days "late," the second 8 days "late," and the third and fourth nearer their due dates. (Where we live now, gynecologists push for quicker arrivals. Our Canadian family doctor said, "That baby will come when it's ready." Right, Doc!)

Watching W work, I am grateful for lessons learned by previous delays. Years ago, the unfinished floor and waiting for this grandchild's birth-day would have buzzed through my mind from morning to night, nearly every day. Mental blocking techniques and absorbing energy into other projects help. However, learned reluctance to dwell on events and unfinished chores beyond my control has become the biggest stress-reliever.

Sometimes people waited a long time for good things from God's hand, like those ill for decades before Jesus healed them. I'm content with the drone of the sander. Relieved we can step down or up the steps without watching our feet. And I'm very glad that we'll soon greet Timothy and Melissa's baby.

I guess patience pays off. Eventually. 

Read more:

*Then Jesus went over to their synagogue, where he noticed a man with a deformed hand. The Pharisees asked Jesus, 'Does the law permit a person to work by healing on the Sabbath?' (They were hoping he would say yes, so they could bring charges against him.)

And he answered, 'If you had a sheep that fell into a well on the Sabbath, wouldn't you work to pull it out? Of course you would. And how much more valuable is a person than a sheep! Yes, the law permits a person to do good on the Sabbath.'

Then he said to the man, 'Hold out your hand.' So the man held out his hand, and it was restored, just like the other one! Matthew 12:9-13 NLT

*(Jesus) "I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.” 

When he had led them out to the vicinity of Bethany, he lifted up his hands and blessed them.  While he was blessing them, he left them and was taken up into heaven. Then they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God. Luke 24:49-53 NIV