Up all night and the coming cure

It's 4 a.m. and I've been up for an hour or two. Insomnia. Feeling out of sorts. But I knew that was coming. In fact, I chose to bring it on. Silly me.

Typical Western buffet

Yup, I ate meat and dairy yesterday, after returning to vegan (plant-based) foods when the grey skies and rain arrived in Seattle last week. The worthy occasion last night was a 70th birthday party, after all. Congratulations, BJ! The food was abundant, very Western (heaps of meat and cheese), and tasted GREAT! Worth a cheat? Seemed so at the time though I got a hot flash within 10 minutes of eating the meat slider. (The flush is my first sign of oh-oh!-here-we-go-again.)

I consider my system's rebellion as a food intolerance rather than allergies. Call it what I will, my body signals its unhappiness within a few minutes of eating eggs, dairy, honey, meat, etc. Anything animal-based is out when the weather turns foul in fall. In summer when the sun is out, my system seems more tolerant (though I gain 5-10 lbs within a week or two of returning to a meat-based diet.) In the winter, my choice of food becomes a spiritual discipline, allowing me to function at capacity.

Vegan buffet (not an oxymoron)

Friends seem shocked when they hear what I DON'T eat. Their first concerns are: "Do you get enough calcium? Protein? What can you eat if you don't eat meat or drink milk?" It's incomprehensible that plant-based foods contain nutrients in abundance.

What do I eat? "Everything else!" including grains, vegetables, legumes, nuts, seeds, fruits. I sub potato flour, bananas, or tofu for eggs in baking and cooking. And there's nothing as tasty as muesli in the morning! (keeps me full until noon.)

The longest-term and most comprehensive research on the relationship of food and diseases was done by top Cornell (USA), Oxford (UK), and Chinese scientists and published as "The China Study. It's worth a download for reading. Here's part of a review:

"The New York Times has recognized the study (China-Oxford-Cornell Diet and Health Project) as the "Grand Prix of epidemiology" and the "most comprehensive large study ever undertaken of the relationship between diet and the risk of developing disease."

The China Study's researchers examined and reexamined their findings because the results were unexpected and counter-intuitive: evidence clearly showed that plant-based diets warded off cardio, diabetic, and cancerous diseases. Dairy and meat-based diets fostered them. (BTW: The highest ratio of osteoporosis is in countries with the highest protein and dairy consumption.)

"Growing evidence is showing that calcium in milk does not protect against osteoporosis. For example in a 12-year Harvard study of 78,000 women, those who drank milk three times a day actually broke more bones than women who rarely drank milk. Similarly, a 1994 study in Sydney, Australia, showed that higher dairy product consumption was associated with increased fracture risk: those with the highest dairy consumption had double the risk of hip fracture compared to those with the lowest consumption," News-medical.net

Every culture has its own dearly-held myths. Many of ours are deeply rooted in tradition but some of ours are fostered by modern advertising and commerce. We now admit smoking is unhealthy but remember that in the 1950s and 60s, some family doctors promoted it in tobacco ads. Perhaps our desire for extreme fat and protein-rich diets will go the same way, as scientists ponder why eating traditional Western foods makes us sicker rather than healthier as we age.

Warm and deeeelicious! a typical
vegan lunch for me. Recipe: click here.

That said, it's back to bed this morning for me. And back to vegan foods when I get up, occasionally blogged at the Impulsive Foodie (my food blog).

Let's eat with care - our bodies depend on the wise stewardship of this most precious personal resource. "You can have all the money in the world but without good health, you'll be miserable," says my mom.

Whether or not plant-based foods become your choice or you decide to limit rich food intakes, please choose your food wisely. Note what gives you abundant, positive, and sustainable energy. What drains you or makes you feel sluggish and bloated?

God lavished us with his abundance here in North America. Whether we garden, farm, or buy our foods at the grocer's, we have lots of options. Enjoy feasting on his goodness while taking good care of yourself and those you love.

And keep in mind that food is a tool to empower our service of the King, not our focus. It is fuel for our mission, not the mission itself. Peace to you and yours!

Read more:

*The LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust" Psalm 103:13–14 NLT

*Do you like honey? Don't eat too much, or it will make you sick!" Proverbs 25:16 NLT

*Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life. John 3:6

*Jesus replied, 'Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.'" John 4:13–14 NLT

*For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Romans 14:7 NLT

Meltdown to the disciplines

I'm definitely back to veganism again. Within a week of arriving in Israel, I had been able to eat anything - cheese, lamb, chicken, eggs ... the daily sunshine and hot weather provided restoration and reprieve for my body and soul.

When we got back to Seattle, the freakishly cold and gloomy "spring" assaulted me like a battering ram. I sat in the house for days, unable to do much more than write and take the dogs for long walks, trying to soak up enough sun to get out of bed in the mornings. Happily, W was out of town so he missed most of the inner drama while I returned to a restricted diet.

I had an internal meltdown last night on the way home from wonderful visits with family. I'd ordered chicken for lunch and enjoyed deli coldcuts for supper.

June: a typical Seattle day

Driving home in the car, I huddled on the passenger side, unable to think of anything good in my life. The pavement, lakes, sky, clouds, and rain pressed on me in grey heaviness. The green trees, grass, shrubs, and bushes gloated with moisture. My heart pounded with anxiety as W zipped in and out of traffic on the wet roads, wipers splashing away the water. I read most of the way to ward off reflexive braking and protective jerking as tail lights flared in front of us. But my mind raced: why had I married? Why did we bother raising a family when they were just going to go through sorrow and pain? My planned sabbatical in MT (rest and recuperation after the dissertation) had all but fizzled away into other obligations.  Plus, my dissertation had come back for printing with the spacing I had carefully worked out disturbed.

I didn't say much in the car, afraid of a verbal explosion of words I wouldn't mean in saner moments. At home, I crawled under the covers to sleep off the toxic effects of animal products.

Peach muesli with soymilk

This morning, I made a fabulous fresh peach and pecan muesli (rolled grains, nuts, and seeds) and started to print out the dissertation for one final scrutiny. The sun lamp and 5 other lights are on in my office and I'm sitting in front of the southern window. (There's little light coming in from there, mind you. Surprise, it's another rainy day.)

My sweet husband seems almost perfect again. I don't have to ride in his car, which I dislike because of its 'new' chemical smell and uncomfortable seats, among other things. I'm grateful that my excellent copy editor A.N. carefully made the needed editorial adjustments. The dogs are thrilled to be beside me; we're skipping our walk because it's raining and I don't have a slave-master driving me into the dripping landscape. I feel almost human.

Vegan meal

It was SUCH a relief to let my taste buds and available food define my meals in Israel, especially for weeks at a time. It's not that I don't like vegetables and grains. I do. But I love meat and eggs and dairy. With the Seattle curse crashing back in, I'm resigning myself to the discipline of diet restrictions. Some day I'll escape this grey-green jungle and be able to eat normally. I look forward to that!

Those of you who struggle with depression for whatever reason will understand. And the rest of you? Maybe you're a thief, a liar, a blasphemer, a drunkard, a glutton, an adulterer, or a gossip. (Or like me, any one of those at various times.)

Everyone who follows Christ strains to please God in spite of our brokenness and illness. We live within the human condition under God's mercy. Regardless of where your flaws lie, ask for His loving-kindness today to help meet your own challenges. I'll check in tomorrow. Meanwhile, I'm off to eat a square of TJ's dark (vegan) chocolate to ward off the drizzling blues.

Read more:

*You have put gladness in my heart more than when their grain and wine abound. Psalm 4:7

*Let all who fear the LORD repeat: "His faithful love endures forever." In my distress I prayed to the LORD, and the LORD answered me and set me free. The LORD is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me? Yes, the LORD is for me; he will help me. I will look in triumph at those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in people. It is better to take refuge in the LORD  than to trust in princes." Psalm 118:4–9

*The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory. Your sun will never set again, and your moon will wane no more; the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end. Isaiah 60:19-20 NIV

*We brought nothing into the world, so that we can take nothing out of it. 1 Timothy 6:7

Moravian Prayer: How do we measure abundance?—?in our worldly possessions or in the richness of our souls? O great Provider, help us to lay aside the blanket of belongings for the blanket of blessing that envelops us in your love. Amen.

Lent Day 3: Thankful for "no"

No snacks before bed. That's my Lenten discipline. Big deal? Maybe.

The Becoming Minimalist blog, "The Opportunity of Lent," challenges readers to ask, "What can't I live without?" Sad me -- "bedtime snacks" popped into my head. Mind you, I had just plunged my hand into a warm bag of kettle corn, propped up in bed watching "House." I eat enough during the day that I won't go hungry, so what's the big deal about denying myself snacks before bed?

From my bedside trash, I cleared bags for the snacks I've consumed over the course of a month:

• chocolate chips (TJs vegan, eaten over 2+ weeks. Just sayin'. Shame on me.)
• dark chocolate bar
• veggie "chips"
• kettle corn popcorn

How did those empty bags get in? I lost ten lbs in December by cutting down on huge meals and constant snacking. I haven't gained since and am at a good weight. My conclusion? It's time to fill myself on core food like salads, grains, and fruit which keep me fueled with few calories and many nutrients.

The Lent Minimalist blog reminded me that I am fully dependent on God.

When I abuse the abundance he provides or trust my own resources, abilities, and finances, idolatry and distractions easily capture my heart. I want to be devoted to God through my simple "no" this season. I trust it will remind me to say yes to a life fully devoted, with God's priorities and provisions guiding the way ahead.

I am grateful for the opportunities where God teaches me by helping me say, "No."

What about you? Click this link to read the Becoming Minimalist blog that inspired me.

Read more:

*Happy are those who make the Lord their trust. Psalm 40:4

*Thieves are jealous of each other's loot, but the godly are well rooted and bear their own fruit." Proverbs 12:12

*The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Isaiah 58:11 NIV

*Suddenly, a man in the synagogue who was possessed by an evil spirit began shouting, 'Why are you interfering with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are—the Holy One of God!'

Jesus cut him short. 'Be quiet! Come out of the man,' he ordered. At that, the evil spirit screamed, threw the man into a convulsion, and then came out of him. Mark 1:23–26

*If for this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied. 1 Corinthians 15:19

Moravian Prayer: Lord God, our hope is in you and we are thankful your love for us remains unconditional. May we as a people delight in that love as we walk in your path of righteousness. Amen.