Unexpected danger

Cat attack!

We got ambushed this morning. The dogs and I were walking along like usual when a cat ran across the road in front of us. Ziggy, who loves to trot behind me, is the heavier dog. He keeps Missy, who loves to run and roam, in line beside me. Zig kept Miss Missy from running after the cat, who disappeared ahead.

Except that -- oh ferocious feline -- pouncing -- hissing -- scratching -- THAT CAT jumped out from a fence and attacked my dogs!

Having had a cat, I automatically hissed and pulled the dogs away. The cat retracted the claws she'd caught in Ziggy's raincoat and stalked off, sitting in moody defiance by the roadside as we walked away.

First, I found some red leaves and
a hydrangea someone had tossed

I laughed to myself as we made our escape. Lucky us -- she could have put out an eye, torn up my beasties, and inflicted damage. A cat. Attacking dogs. Two dogs. On a leash with a person.

Who knew? It was a more dangerous morning than I'd suspected and we'd gotten away Scott-free. I celebrated by gathering a gorgeous bouquet of leaves and flowers from the sidewalk.

Sitting at my desk, I'm thinking about a job I had once. My manager would call me into her office and I'd skip down the hall, expecting kudos for a job well done. Almost without exception, I'd get slammed. "That was too small. Too big. Not enough. Too much. What were you thinking? Were you thinking at all?"

I'd leave her office, shaking my head, wincing at the unexpected blow. I'd go back to my desk and think about my lucky escape. I hadn't died. Hadn't been severely wounded even. I'd try harder, look around more carefully, and do my best.

Then I gathered wind-tossed needles, a mossy branch,
and three heads of clover

Eventually, the scratching penetrated my skin. I began to muddle, to second-guess my decisions, to retreat instead of advancing.

I've pondered those interactions. Here are a few things I learned about being a misfit:

1. Danger lurks in unexpected places. Even if you're walking along, doing the work assigned, surprises can jump you. 
2. Blows from a friend can be trusted. Hits from someone defending or defining their turf should be avoided whenever possible.
3. There's a time to stand. When my manager first started attacking, I went back to my office, rethought my ideas, and presented a better proposal.
4. There's a time to hiss back and shake off the attack. After a few unpleasant interactions, I returned to my desk, worked my hardest, and just ignored the lack of helpful input.
5. There's a time to walk away. When my strengths shriveled into defense mode, I quit. I shouted for joy the first morning I didn't have to go into the bunker. I gloriously changed my employment to something where God' gifts and calling reemerged and I could do good work. I bet my manager was as delighted as I.
6. It's important to reflect after a major change. Consider what God is doing in you, what he's teaching you, and how he's disciplining you by failure as well as success. Did you sin? Did you work from weakness rather than strength? Did you cooperate or resist good counsel? 
7. Don't move on without admitting your part in attracting danger. I've considered the weaknesses and flaws in myself that brought out aggression and frustration in my manager. And I've avoided such negativity and similar miss-fits for how God made me: I realized that I work best in a freewheeling, interactive environment where ideas and possibilities are welcomed and encouraged. If you feel thwarted and are frustrating others where you work, would YOU be a better partner elsewhere?
8. Know yourself and your strengths. Find complementary partners. I'm an activator, an idea person, and a resource magnet. My many weaknesses include maintenance and accounting. In fact, the "fiddling details" that go on and on or going round and round during execution of ideas saps my energy. While my guess-timates usually hit close to the bulls-eye, balancing accounts to the penny drives me wild. However, shifting colors, possibilities, and new connections feel concrete, energetic, and hopeful. 

Currently, I seek out partners who revel in management, who love to work out details, and trek along happily toward a goal. I may plan a fundraiser, but he asks for funding. I may design the table and bring the resources, but she tugs the tablecloth into perfect folds. I may find the cheapest U-haul and arrange pickup, but he drives the truck from A to B. I may write copy, but she edits the commas and semi-colons. Meanwhile, we're both ecstatic at doing our job well, working in our strengths rather than weaknesses.

The final bouquet: beauty on my desk

If God is pleased with us and he's our boss, we're happily using our talents, education, and previous experience to do His good work. How about you?

Read more:
*"Things are far more bitter for me than for you, because the LORD himself has raised his fist against me. … Don't call me Naomi," she responded. "Instead, call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me home empty. Why call me Naomi when the LORD has caused me to suffer and the Almighty has sent such tragedy upon me?" Ruth 1:13, 20–21

*He will bring me out to the light; I shall see his vindication. Micah 7:9

*Sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. Romans 6:14

Moravian Prayer: Light of the world, when we sit mired in darkness or distress, come again to us. Come to our aid, grant us your grace anew and be our morning star, our cheering sight! Amen.

Developing mature conversation

"Whatcha doin'?" he asked me. "Up to anything?" It was a passing conversation. We didn't know each other well.

"Doing fine. How about you?" I answered.

In contrast, a friend and I talked this morning about personal things and what's going on in our families and friendship circles. We ran out of time before "talking ministry" but we'll get there, maybe next visit. Our hour of interaction flew by. We have some catching up to do, though we read each others' blogs and stay in touch via FB or email.

How do you go from fluffy, inconsequential chit-chat to mature conversation that can "say anything" to a trusted friend?

1. Fill your life with wisdom, reading scripture and hearing God's instruction. Hang out with wise mentors and reliable characters.
2. Start light and exercise discernment. Don't spill your guts to every passerby or "cast pearls before swine." Other people won't take you seriously or trust you if your words are indiscreet.
3. Listen to others' conversations. How do people you respect speak? What do they say? What would they never say? Imitate the wise and respected.
4. Build on friendships and collegiality: which ones have proved trustworthy and have begun to share their lives with you?
5. Pray about who can be trusted and watch how people handle their friends' confidences and secrets. 
6. Tell something safe but private. Ask the person to keep it between you. If it comes back "around the gossip bench," ask your confidant if they shared with others. If so, don't share again, especially if there is no remorse or if the exposure was a deliberate "slip of the tongue." They can't be trusted.
7. Keep other people's secrets to yourself. Gossip is saying something about a person that you wouldn't say if they were standing next to you. Sure, go ahead, brag on others' "job well done." Boost them in conversation with others. But unless it's immoral or illegal (or dangerous to the situation), guard others' weaknesses and failures.

Jesus told his closest friends many secrets about God and himself. But he kept himself apart from those who weren't trustworthy. He was friendly but not exposed to everyone. Maturity comes from following his example.

Read more:

*In the path of your judgments, O Lord, we wait for you. Isaiah 26:8

*When we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world. 1 Corinthians 11:32

*Yet when I am among mature believers, I do speak with words of wisdom, but not the kind of wisdom that belongs to this world or to the rulers of this world, who are soon forgotten.

No, the wisdom we speak of is the mystery of God—his plan that was previously hidden, even though he made it for our ultimate glory before the world began. But the rulers of this world have not understood it; if they had, they would not have crucified our glorious Lord. That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”

But it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. 1 Corinthians 2:6-10 NLT
Moravian Prayer: When you see fit to judge us, God, help us to remember your love and grace. Call to our minds the redemptive purposes of your discipline and the promise of eternal life. Thank you for training us so we shall forever be your children. Amen.