How-to: Become part of decision-making at work

"Get to be part of the meeting-before-the-meeting," Stan told me. "Before we even get into the room, our boss has decided the agenda and what's going to be done."

My background of discussion and collaboration means I love the push and pull of a team, manipulating ideas and possibilities before coming to a decision. I'm happy with consensus, even if the decision reached by the group is not my first choice. I instinctively resist pronouncements by top-down controllers who impose their will on others.

I've been in opposite types of meetings. At the first type, like the one after which Stan explained the apparent deafness of the leader to others' ideas, the decisions have been made and the group simply affirms the boss's wishes. At the second, team members function in their strengths and giftings, bringing all their information and experience to guide the direction of the company or church.

The first kind of decision-making -- dictatorial or hierarchical --  is quicker and more efficient in the short-term. The second kind -- consensus reached by a well-functioning group -- produces holistic planning that is broader and deeper and anticipates the future.

The first results in head-down worker bees who are afraid to stand out in case they get knocked around. The second produces a company culture of "I want to help" and possibility-thinking.

If you're in a strong hierarchy, (typical in most offices and easier for a boss to manage,) how do you influence the decisions before their pronouncement?

1. Listen carefully for the boss's values and note his or her goals. Match your own goals to theirs and point out your accomplishments in light of the leader's targets. If you become a trusted achiever, the boss may invite you into the loop of her decision making ... or just leave you alone to accomplish your goals.

2. Examine where the leader meets with others.

• Does the boss live only in her office? 
• Does he frequent a coffee shop or conference room before meetings?
• If the guys are walking down the hall when a question comes up, the team leader may instinctively point out a favored solution. It's a done deal for those privy to the conversation. 
• The gals may be refreshing their makeup at the bathroom sink when an issue comes up. "Call so-and-so and do this..." says the woman in charge. And the decision is made without men's input.

You can't do much about such impromptu cause and effect besides bringing the boss' attention to the implications for the rest of the team. BUT you can plan to be around if there's a clear pattern of interaction. As Stan told me, most decisions are made through casual interactions between (not at) formal meetings.

3. Is there an insider culture? Do office influencers golf, craft, hunt, attend the same church or club, or eat lunch together in the company cafeteria? Consider ways you can become included in those interactions.

4. Are there a select few who have the ear of the boss? Befriending them may get your ideas on the table. I managed my department at one company through interaction with the leader's friends. They claimed my best ideas as their own and I got my work done. Note: If you intend to climb the corporate ladder in such a culture, document your ideas before presenting them so you can reclaim them as your own.

5. Reverence God and stand for what is right. Trust Him to make your path straight.

Biblical examples point out that influence happens close to the powers that be. How have you found this to be true?

Read more:
*When [King David] crossed over to Gilgal, Kimham crossed with him. All the troops of Judah and half the troops of Israel had taken the king over.

Soon all the men of Israel were coming to the king and saying to him, “Why did our brothers, the men of Judah, steal the king away and bring him and his household across the Jordan, together with all his men?”

All the men of Judah answered the men of Israel, “We did this because the king is closely related to us. Why are you angry about it? Have we eaten any of the king’s provisions? Have we taken anything for ourselves?”

Then the men of Israel answered the men of Judah, “We have ten shares in the king; so we have a greater claim on David than you have. Why then do you treat us with contempt? Weren’t we the first to speak of bringing back our king?”

But the men of Judah pressed their claims even more forcefully than the men of Israel. 2 Samuel 19:40-43 NIV

*But I, by your great mercy, will come into your house in reverence will I bow down toward your holy temple. Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness because of my enemies—make straight your way before me. Psalm 5:7-8 NIV

*Their houses will be turned over to others, together with their fields and their wives, when I stretch out my hand against those who live in the land,” declares the Lord. “From the least to the greatest, all are greedy for gain; prophets and priests alike, all practice deceit. They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace. Jeremiah 6:12-14 NIV

*Paul wrote: I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

Moravian Prayer: Compassionate God, we come to you with both sadness and joy. We are filled with sadness by the many ways that we fall short: by our hard-heartedness and by unhealthy self-preoccupation. Yet we are filled with joy, because we trust you will complete your work within us by your mercy and grace. Strengthen us! Amen.

Unexpected danger

Cat attack!

We got ambushed this morning. The dogs and I were walking along like usual when a cat ran across the road in front of us. Ziggy, who loves to trot behind me, is the heavier dog. He keeps Missy, who loves to run and roam, in line beside me. Zig kept Miss Missy from running after the cat, who disappeared ahead.

Except that -- oh ferocious feline -- pouncing -- hissing -- scratching -- THAT CAT jumped out from a fence and attacked my dogs!

Having had a cat, I automatically hissed and pulled the dogs away. The cat retracted the claws she'd caught in Ziggy's raincoat and stalked off, sitting in moody defiance by the roadside as we walked away.

First, I found some red leaves and
a hydrangea someone had tossed

I laughed to myself as we made our escape. Lucky us -- she could have put out an eye, torn up my beasties, and inflicted damage. A cat. Attacking dogs. Two dogs. On a leash with a person.

Who knew? It was a more dangerous morning than I'd suspected and we'd gotten away Scott-free. I celebrated by gathering a gorgeous bouquet of leaves and flowers from the sidewalk.

Sitting at my desk, I'm thinking about a job I had once. My manager would call me into her office and I'd skip down the hall, expecting kudos for a job well done. Almost without exception, I'd get slammed. "That was too small. Too big. Not enough. Too much. What were you thinking? Were you thinking at all?"

I'd leave her office, shaking my head, wincing at the unexpected blow. I'd go back to my desk and think about my lucky escape. I hadn't died. Hadn't been severely wounded even. I'd try harder, look around more carefully, and do my best.

Then I gathered wind-tossed needles, a mossy branch,
and three heads of clover

Eventually, the scratching penetrated my skin. I began to muddle, to second-guess my decisions, to retreat instead of advancing.

I've pondered those interactions. Here are a few things I learned about being a misfit:

1. Danger lurks in unexpected places. Even if you're walking along, doing the work assigned, surprises can jump you. 
2. Blows from a friend can be trusted. Hits from someone defending or defining their turf should be avoided whenever possible.
3. There's a time to stand. When my manager first started attacking, I went back to my office, rethought my ideas, and presented a better proposal.
4. There's a time to hiss back and shake off the attack. After a few unpleasant interactions, I returned to my desk, worked my hardest, and just ignored the lack of helpful input.
5. There's a time to walk away. When my strengths shriveled into defense mode, I quit. I shouted for joy the first morning I didn't have to go into the bunker. I gloriously changed my employment to something where God' gifts and calling reemerged and I could do good work. I bet my manager was as delighted as I.
6. It's important to reflect after a major change. Consider what God is doing in you, what he's teaching you, and how he's disciplining you by failure as well as success. Did you sin? Did you work from weakness rather than strength? Did you cooperate or resist good counsel? 
7. Don't move on without admitting your part in attracting danger. I've considered the weaknesses and flaws in myself that brought out aggression and frustration in my manager. And I've avoided such negativity and similar miss-fits for how God made me: I realized that I work best in a freewheeling, interactive environment where ideas and possibilities are welcomed and encouraged. If you feel thwarted and are frustrating others where you work, would YOU be a better partner elsewhere?
8. Know yourself and your strengths. Find complementary partners. I'm an activator, an idea person, and a resource magnet. My many weaknesses include maintenance and accounting. In fact, the "fiddling details" that go on and on or going round and round during execution of ideas saps my energy. While my guess-timates usually hit close to the bulls-eye, balancing accounts to the penny drives me wild. However, shifting colors, possibilities, and new connections feel concrete, energetic, and hopeful. 

Currently, I seek out partners who revel in management, who love to work out details, and trek along happily toward a goal. I may plan a fundraiser, but he asks for funding. I may design the table and bring the resources, but she tugs the tablecloth into perfect folds. I may find the cheapest U-haul and arrange pickup, but he drives the truck from A to B. I may write copy, but she edits the commas and semi-colons. Meanwhile, we're both ecstatic at doing our job well, working in our strengths rather than weaknesses.

The final bouquet: beauty on my desk

If God is pleased with us and he's our boss, we're happily using our talents, education, and previous experience to do His good work. How about you?

Read more:
*"Things are far more bitter for me than for you, because the LORD himself has raised his fist against me. … Don't call me Naomi," she responded. "Instead, call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me home empty. Why call me Naomi when the LORD has caused me to suffer and the Almighty has sent such tragedy upon me?" Ruth 1:13, 20–21

*He will bring me out to the light; I shall see his vindication. Micah 7:9

*Sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. Romans 6:14

Moravian Prayer: Light of the world, when we sit mired in darkness or distress, come again to us. Come to our aid, grant us your grace anew and be our morning star, our cheering sight! Amen.