Watch the attitude!

Montana: sky country

I felt angry. Frustrated. Began to shut down inside to control the volcano threatening to erupt.

"You okay?" W was tip-toeing around me, loading the last things into the car for the trip home from the cabin. "You seem kind of quiet."

"I'm upset. For years, I've lived in a building project, looking forward to spending time relaxing." I tried to keep my voice on an even keel, but the steam was starting to boil.

Anger used to be my go-to emotion. I was a pepper-shaker of a kid with a flash temper. I learned to control my rage by the time I was in my teens. But every few months, it would bubble up inside me, trapping my mind in a vicious spiral. Some little thing would set off an explosion. When I'd vent my frustration on my husband, he wondered, "Where did that come from?"

I haven't been really angry for a while. The pattern broke when I acknowledged my own failures before God and named the people I hadn't forgiven, one by one. I remember being shocked at what I was holding on to. Hurts. Grievances. Expectations.

And I remember the relief of letting that go, admitting that no one owed me goodness the way I owed God love and obedience. He'd wiped my slate clean. Now I could do the same for others.

My heart sang for days after that encounter with the cross of Christ. Forgiven. Free.

But I was mad Tuesday as we locked the cabin door and drove off.

My favorite spot this summer:
watching peaceful glacier run-off

W's crafting had been a joyful relaxation for him each summer. He likes to do things himself so he didn't want me building alongside.

I watched. Waited. Got impatient at the pace and incremental progress. Blocked my feelings until I didn't care anymore if it ever got done. I stayed home a few summers while I finished my studies.

Then last year, I spent an extra month at the cabin on my own, closing the doors of the rooms that were undone, mentally blocking out the unfinished parts while I recovered from cramming through a dissertation. God knew I needed the quiet space.

This year, W built the beds in the bunk rooms. The light fixtures went up. The mattresses and pillows were put in place; I collected enough sheets, sleeping bags, and blankets for 20 people. (Thanks Mom!) I finally got to wallpaper the back entry with maps, hung a few funny sayings on the wall, and moved furniture into place. It looked great and worked just as designed. Made me happy!

We were home-away-from-home. Except that we had to clean up and leave a day after hosting a big group. There was no time to relax.

Wide open roads and sky

"Waaa. waaa. Girl, you have a choice to make." I could hear a mocking echo in my head as the car pulled away. "Look around you."

The trees pumped oxygen into the clear Montana sky, blue-green mountains feathered with evergreens on every horizon. Stunning. We'd enjoyed these surroundings for 19 years, not to mention making wonderful friends who made each summer a special retreat.

"What will you choose? To hold the resentment? To fill your soul with joy at the beauty I've given you?" God was hemming me between options. Thankfulness? Gratitude? Or my old acquaintance, anger?

I was ticked enough to think about it. To consider reengaging the comfort of my destructive habits.

Then W pulled up to a cabin to say goodbye to our friends. They've helped us, shared meals, and been an integral part of our life in Montana. The fellow and W worked together on our cabin and their computer, talking about faith and God and life.

"You're leaving already?" the wife opened the door. Four other women were getting up from the living room sofa. "We have a prayer meeting every Tuesday," she said. "Come in."

Her husband walked in the door as we were hugging and saying goodbye. They extended their hands in a prayer circle and prayed over us. Blessed us. Asked God to provide the finances and prayer supporters for our mission. I could hardly hold back my tears.

Flowers for the cabin

I felt God chuckling as we got into the car to leave. "You didn't really think I was going to let you stew on the way home, did you?" Apparently he cares for W (and me!) too much for that.

My heart lifted. I felt grateful for our years at camp. The gravel crunched under the tires, the clean air washed through my lungs, and the landscape began to stream by the windows. We'd had a gift from God for nearly two decades. Who could complain?

"How are you feeling?" I asked W a few times on the way home. He admitted he was sad to leave, as I was.

We had a great trip home. Relaxed. Prepared for reentry: the university faculty meets this week to start up the academic year. I'm rearranging life for the new season, checking off appointments in the coming week.

For the first time we can remember, there was no smog cloud and no stench of pollution when we came over Snoqualmie Pass and dropped down toward Seattle. It had rained the night before and the air was clear. Another gift - we dread that return to city smells and haze.

God is good. And we are His. I'm happy that He loves us too much to let us wallow in sin and its consequences. That He renews our strength to soar like the eagles. That His beauty fills the world and refreshes my soul.

It's all in the attitude. What are you choosing to focus on in your own circumstances today?

Read more:
*Seek good and not evil, that you may live. Amos 5:14 NLT

*Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. Romans 12:17 NLT

Moravian Prayer: Almighty God, help us to seek the right path. We delight in your goodness and seek to follow you. We are your children, give us your peace. May we be noble in your sight and walk in your ways. Amen.

Friendly family and friendly fire

Roadside beauty

Family reunions can be heaven or hell. "There's continual drama when my family meets," someone told me this week. "We could never be together for nearly a week."

In contrast, we Dahers (my dad's family) like each other - and we have peacemakers in every family group. Our clan is outspoken, opinionated, and flexible. We don't care much what others think of our ideas if we think they're good ones.

"I know what I'm doing, but feel free to convince me otherwise," my dad used to say. "I'm open."

Coming or going
in the cabin?

Even the Jefferson
staircase is non-traditional

That's true - if you have a better idea, let a Daher know; it's not done until it's over. I can't count how many times over the years that I've heard a family member say, "I don't care what s/he thinks. I'm doing it this way." And off they go to plan, prep, or accomplish what needs to be done ... in their own way.

So when my dear sis-in-law asked, a week ago, "What are we doing when we get there?" I just laughed.

"We'll see. You know the Dahers. They hate being micromanaged!" I replied. "We'll set a loose schedule, assign meal cooking and cleanup, and figure it out as we go." I had a very rough count of who was coming.

It helps that each household is hospitable and accustomed to hosting big groups. There's a warm welcome at anyone's doorstep, so this was business as usual. Everyone pitched in to serve fantastic meals and left the kitchen spotless afterwards.

Boys' bunkroom, ready for occupancy

We're cool with the assumption that each will "do our own thinking." We grow up that way from childhood: every member of the tribe is creative and active, eccentric and smart in his/her own field. From aunts and uncles to young cousins, we become accomplished at a lot of stuff by trying new things. Few of us follow traditional careers to traditional success. So when plans change, we adapt and no one gets a bee in their bonnet. (Or the bee has a short buzz.)

To accommodate that flex, we:

• posted a 2-hour breakfast window for early and late risers. For lunch, we enjoyed the fantastic surroundings (Kallispell, Bigfork, Whitefish, and - 9 miles away - Glacier National Park). At supper, we met again to feast and tell stories
• thought up evening programs on the spot
• Thursday, we celebrated my parents' 60th anniversary
• Friday, we played "Truth or Daher" (best family memories or bucket list)
• Saturday, we shared what each has recently done and what we're going to be doing
• Sunday was Dad's 81st birthday

• came and went, tried things we hadn't done before, hiked the park, swam the lakes, shopped the tourist towns, and went to the gun range
• spent hours and hours visiting
• got the clan together after one breakfast for our 19th "Historic Point" photo at the side of the highway. We've never had such a huge group for our annual tradition. We got lots of astonished honks and waves from passing motorists and motorcyclists. (There's a historic point nearby: we take a picture of us lined up next to the road sign, pointing in whatever direction suits us.)
• had more (and in 2 cases, less) guests and dogs than planned. We felt privileged and happy to hug every one who showed up
• saved money by cancelling a few hotel rooms for cabin-sharing
• enjoyed the most incredible huckleberry pies and ice cream on a night with enough dessert. (Is there ever enough dessert). Thanks, Rita.
• etc. My guestbook is full of new memories, recorded by young and old and those between

Kids' hangout, the family room's chaos
gets tidied at night

This first-ever family reunion (outside of well-attended weddings and funerals) was in Hungry Horse, MT. My friends at home prayed that it would be peaceful, fun, and glorifying to God. It was.

I wasn't sure how we would accommodate the extended family. Our cabin sleeps 20 (8 bunks, 5 queen beds/futons, and 2 spare camping cots.) A friend rented us their 4 bdrm cabin for a "steal-of-a-deal," honoring years of friendship and W's computer help. A few families stayed in nearby hotels.

There was plenty of room upstairs and down. God blessed us with great weather, so the 12-person picnic table outside - plus the neighbor's donated round table - complemented the table and sofas inside.

Cabin, sweet cabin, we'll miss you

"Bye! See you again!" the family waves as their car begins the trek to Edmonton. Another group heads for Winnipeg. Our Seattlites get stuck in hours of grid-lock traffic on Snoqualmie Pass. Daughter Kirsten and poodle Zoe fly to home to Austin.

W and I are left with the quiet that follows a lively storm of conversation, good food, and shared memories.

Sunday evening, we invite about 20 friends from the campground over. We share the thrill of this new adventure facing us - living in Indonesia after next June. They pray over us and promise to continue to continue praying. Several commit to support us with finances. Above all, in that devout company, the friendly Holy Spirit ignites our hearts with His fire.

By tonight, the cabin will be cleaned up and packed up for the winter. We may not be back, after this year when we finished building. Perhaps the whole purpose of this long building process has been the weekend reunion, sharing our calling, and years of making friends who are mature in the faith.

Whatever, we thank God for his provisions of people and resources. Thanks, girlfriends, for your prayers.

Read more:
*The Lord answered Job, "Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? and said to the sea, 'Thus far shall you come, and no farther, and here shall your proud waves be stopped'?" Job 38:4,11 NLT 

*It shall be one day which is known to the Lord -- neither day nor night. But at evening time it shall happen that it will be light. Zechariah 14:7 NKJV

*(Jesus said,) “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

*In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. John 1:1, 3 NLT

*The night is far gone, the day is near. Let us then lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. Romans 13:12 NLT

Moravian Prayer: O Holy Spirit, you are our light during the day and at night. We thank you for this day. Help us to make the most of it. Help us to let our light shine so that others see you through us in work and at play.

Everlasting God, you extend your righteous hand. Let us feel your touch. You inspire and encourage us in the face of our troubles. Help us to know all strength comes through you. We worship and adore you. Amen.

A 2-church Sunday morning and river views

We're late for one service Sunday and early for another.

At 9:10 a.am, we're at an established church, Kallispell Christian Center. We shake 6 people's hands coming in the door, a friendly welcome. The aisle seats are full, so we crawl over someone's knees to reach a middle seat in the last row.

They sing the song that's been ringing through my head for the past weeks. "When morning breaks and the new day's dawning ... bless The Lord, oh my soul..." I've heard that from Singapore to Indonesia to Seattle to Montana. Maybe it's the new "As the Deer" chorus for this generation? Love it, just like everyone else.

Zentangle 5

I pull out my sketchpad as the sermon starts. Even as a young child, I would keep my hands busy with a pen to be able to focus on the sermon. My mind settles, and God speaks to me through Kevin's words.

Kevin Geer, a former leader of Children's Ministry in our region, is the team leader at KCC. His new series is rooted in the Golden Rule, love others like we want to be loved (Matthew 7:12).  Kevin's transparent and humorous delivery keeps even the most staid pew-sitters chuckling and nodding along. It's an appropriate message for our upcoming family reunion. "Treat others like we want to be treated."

The second church is a branch campus model, Fresh Life Church. We arrive early at the live campus at The Liberty in downtown Kallispell. People mill about, going in and out of the theatre. A few of us old-timers slip into the foyer between children and young families. No one says hi as we head up the stairs to the balcony. We sit there by ourselves for the first 15 minutes, music pounding from the stage. Then a small herd of about 20 others spread out around us.

The sermon series is called Microphone: it's always on. Today's talk is based on Psalm 128. "The walls of a home are the microphone others see and hear. Each of us has a platform," says Pastor Levi Lusko, and marriage and the family are the center stage. He quotes scripture and speaks of the practical implications of finding a spouse and living out the good news in the greater community. "Love Jesus like crazy and live His life out desperately."

His language is colloquial. "We're all in the process of losing our good looks. ... Sorry to tell you this, but we're getting uglier right now," he says, speaking of the attrition of beauty. "Good looks" are a bad reason for choosing a partner. "Both partners occupy servant roles (Ephesians 5:12). Obey God no matter what the other person does... Christ didn't wait for us to become lovable. He died to make us lovable."

Swan River on a Sunday afternoon

He's a good speaker with high energy, and conservative in his theology. He uses pictures to describe his ideas. Murmurs of agreement drift up from the full main floor. We get three friendly nods and handshakes as we leave.

The cool thing about Church is that God makes Hi,self known in many ways. We drive to Bigfork in the afternoon. They're hosting an annual arts and crafts show. Between the morning services, the stunning scenery, and human creativity, God overwhelms us with Presence.

We spend the afternoon NOT working, driving through beautiful countryside and enjoying Bigfork. Their arts and crafts festival is excellent. We're not buying anything though; our house is being down-sized not upgraded. The pictures were snapped along the way.

---Tuesday.

Swan River shoreline: froth from the dam

We get bad news Sunday night. My youngest brother Will (50) spills off his mountain bike and breaks his finger, wrist, collarbone, and 4 ribs. He also punctures a lung. (Two of our boys had collapsed lungs. Not a happy recovery; usually the docs scrape the chest wall so the lung sticks to it and stays open in future.)

Not only will he not be at the family reunion this week, but Will has to stay in hospital while they reassemble him. We'll miss him! Luckily he's in Canada not the US: he won't use up his retirement funds on medical bills.

Shallow waters churn over the riverbed

My folks have set off from our place. They'll be our first arrivals tonight, after picking up Kirsten on a detour through Seattle. K flies home from MT on Monday. She has so much stuff that they can't bring any of the things we left behind. We'll rehome them in Seattle, with all the rest of our stuff.

I amazed by the water that flow swiftly over the Montana riverbeds. Ice-cold from glacier runoff, drop after drop speeds by, bounded only by riverbanks.

Human life is similar: we may be individuals, but our lives combine in history. If we live well, we contribute to the river of humanity. But when we're gone, few people remember our names or accomplishments. Only God keeps track. Pleasing him rather than trying to impress others seems a worthy way to live!

Read more:
*Thus says the Lord, "How long will you refuse to humble yourself before me?" Exodus 10:3 NLT

*All the nations you have made shall come and bow down before you, O Lord, and shall glorify your name. Psalm 86:9 NLT

*That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty. God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad. Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 NLT

*All who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted. Luke 18:14 NLT

*Paul wrote: We may proclaim the good news in lands beyond you. 2 Corinthians 10:16 NLT

Moravian Prayer: Father we need you. We need you with us, beside us, and in front of us. We thank you for your guidance, your wisdom, and your direction. Help us in faith to always follow your lead.

Good and gracious Lord, we are in awe of your majesty! Your power combined with your compassion and forgiveness makes us want to proclaim your good news. Help us share your wonders with others. Amen.

Montana in blue jeans

Camp roads in the cool rain

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST MOTHER EVER!

The clouds hang low between the Rocky Mountains. "Did you hear the rain last night?" we ask each other. (He did. I crashed into bed and slept through it.)

The cabin is almost ready for our reunion guests. We've unpacked, sorted goods into cabinets and shelves, and pulled on our jeans to meet the cool damp morning.

It's my first time in jeans since we left for Singapore in June. This rain is unlike the warm downpours of the tropics. Cold water splashes up at us as we walk to the coffee shop.

Breakfast is served:
Montana Coffee Traders

Montana Coffee Traders is legendary in these parts. Israel has its Aroma chain, with great pastries, meals, and coffee. Montana has MCF, which serves yummy omelets, quiches, and sandwiches.

Our kids stayed at the cabin with friends in July. They left it clean and tidy. Kudos! to them. We move around some furniture, stack old paperbacks and kids' books onto shelves, and do a quick inventory. We purged our home collection of books and toys before our basement reno. The classics have come up to the cabin with us, for grandkids and guests to enjoy. One of the losses for our new calling is this cabin. We'll rarely be able to come up to enjoy it; after 18 years of W's DIY, this year it will be finished. Sigh.

Here's what we see when we walk in the door:

Living room: reclaimed Douglas fir underfoot.
Furniture from family and friends and
my fav giclee print by Carrie Fell

Cabin kitchen with retro teak furniture from our
past life, when the kids were young

Candle chandelier found in a shop nearby

W snaps pictures. Above the front door, wasp nests
hang on strands of copper lanterns

We head to town to stock up for the good times ahead. (It occurs to me: wow ... we are blessed to be conservative Christians. It's a lot cheaper to host a non-alcoholic event. Cleaner and safer, too.)

Read more:

*All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.

So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he

purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.

God has now revealed to us his mysterious plan regarding Christ, a plan to fulfill his own good pleasure. And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth. Ephesians 1:3-10 NLT

What next?

In progress!

"It's a bit of a whirlwind, isn't it?" T surveys the basement with a smile. His team has framed and roughed in plumbing. He's pulled wires to power up the new space.

"Sure is." W looks around and shakes his head. "This would have taken me ages." Perhaps months.

We've found that Craigslist is an excellent resource for buyers and sellers. Someone's here now, picking up our DR rug, a pale green 10X12 wool expanse. We tossed in a few tables, a slipper chair, and the sturdy loveseat W built for our first apartment (along with the cushions and covers I made.) Hurrah!

Our little slipper rocking chair. Gone!

It's been good fun seeing the happiness of people who like our stuff :-) God has blessed us with mutual satisfaction, for which we are grateful. There will be plenty to toss before we go.

The kitchen cabinets, closet fixtures, and furniture wait for installation. We'll need a wall-mount sink, a toilet, and a stacking washer/dryer. We're shedding dishes, tables, dressers, a queen 4-poster, chairs, and other "stuff" accumulated over 36 years of marriage and raising 4 kids.

We head to Montana for a family reunion in the morning. What's next? W has finishing touches to do at the cabin (flooring and lighting). We'll put mattresses on the bunks about the time the tribe arrives.

We got two notes from Indonesia coworkers this morning. One wrote: "Please come as soon as you can! We need you already." And from another team member, "We've been praying for this for 15 years!"

We're grateful for the friends staying in the house while we're away. Their schedule and ours synched so that when they're away, we're back. When we leave, they're home here.

After MT, W's teaching year and ITINERATION fills our calendar ... until we leave for Indonesia.

If you've considered supporting us, please pledge or donate here. (The site is under my name for administrative reasons; AG only permits one spouse to be listed.) Here's the link for faith pledges.

It's easy to give by clicking here.

Our cash budget of $30,000 and monthly support of $4000 will go toward transportation to various universities and colleges in SE Asia and the branch we're planting in Bandung. (It's almost half of a regular budget, because we expect partnerships there. Our initial term is 2 years, but we plan to renew.)

We're excited! You with us? We can't go without you. If you'd like to contact us about coming to your church or small group, please let us know! (All comments are vetted: I won't share your info.)

Read more:
*I wait for your salvation, O Lord. Genesis 49:18 NLT

*Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin, but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him. Hebrews 9:28 NLT

Moravian Prayer: Dear Lord, thank you for our salvation and happiness. Your arising has brought us hope and peace. We thank you in Jesus’ name. Amen.