Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Breath returns

There have been few blogs the last few weeks. I misplaced my journal, which captures three pages of internal process each day. For that amount of time, writing elsewhere (and even leaving the house) has been an effort.

When you are a writer, words on paper or screen are compulsory not optional. Your fingers miss the grip on a pen or the tap on the keyboard: life plateaus in shallow breaths. You're afraid to think too deeply without somewhere to go if you hit a wall. The best ladders up and over the day or out of the night are words on paper.

I found my journal tonight. Mind you, I was desperate enough to grab the three empties from a shelf upstairs and bring them down to the apartment with me. If I hadn't discovered my heart's written hiding place, I would have had to start on a blank book. I was that anxious to write.

With ballpoint pen in hand, I spread the lined pages. Waiting, I begin.

Breathe. 
In. Out. 
Relief.
Internal quiet 
and singing.
Words on pages.
Grip that pen.
Joyful spilling
of a hurting heart.

What helps you breathe?

Read more:
*God does great things beyond understanding, and marvelous things without number. Job 9:10 NEV

*Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law. Psalm 119:18 NEV

*Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation. 2 Corinthians 1:3 NEV

Moravian Prayer: Great Architect, often in our busy lives we tend to forget the marvels of life around us that you have provided. There is no better time than now for us to stop and appreciate all you have done for us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Amen.

CS Lewis in Mere Christianity: Prudence means practical common sense, taking the trouble to think out what you are doing and what is likely to come of it. Nowadays most people hardly think of Prudence as one of the ‘virtues’. In fact, because Christ said we could only get into His world by being like children, many Christians have the idea that, provided you are ‘good’, it does not matter being a fool.

But that is a misunderstanding. In the first place, most children show plenty of ‘prudence’ about doing the things they are really interested in, and think them out quite sensibly. In the second place, as St Paul points out, Christ never meant that we were to remain children in intelligence: on the contrary. He told us to be not only ‘as harmless as doves’, but also ‘as wise as serpents’.

He wants a child’s heart, but a grown-up’s head. He wants us to be simple, single-minded, affectionate, and teachable, as good children are; but He also wants every bit of intelligence we have to be alert at its job, and in first-class fighting trim. The fact that you are giving money to a charity does not mean that you need not try to find out whether that charity is a fraud or not. The fact that what you are thinking about is God Himself (for example, when you are praying) does not mean that you can be content with the same babyish ideas which you had when you were a five-year-old. It is, of course, quite true that God will not love you any the less, or have less use for you, if you happen to have been born with a very second-rate brain. He has room for people with very little sense, but He wants every one to use what sense they have.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Puff puff, she thinks she can she thinks she can

Mmm. Who knew pistachios, almonds, and chocolate chips tasted so good together? I'm taking a tea and snack break from editing the dissertation.

What great help I got this weekend! Several friends and expert writers sent back their comments on the intro, which was limping along. Others helped clarify the chapters.

One gentle soul worried that I would be offended at her note, of "What the heck is this?" (She put it much more politely.) No worries. I am SO ready to finish this project; every willing eye and knowledgeable critic gets kudos rather than kicks from me.

God reminded me today how important the various gifts are, in his Body. I've been grinding through this dissertation since the chapters started to form in October. Being so close to the research, I need outside readers to point out my mistakes, unclear meanings, and obscure wording.

It feels like the end is within reach, though I have three more editors to please between this week and "The End" of it all = my advisor, my formatting editor, and my copy editor. I'm not sure I can meet my deadline to send the dissertation for formatting on Friday, but it won't be because I didn't try.

I've always heard that spouses are just as happy as the graduate. It was true for me when W finished at Gloucester. I suspect "relief" will express only a teeny part of his emotions, since both of us are really really really ready to be done. (I know; in scholarly writing you rarely use really.)

The question people continue to ask is, "What will you do after you're finished?" After five years of study, God has given me a small inkling about what this is for. But it's not set in stone. I've learned perseverance. To organize my writing. To find out what I dislike. And that I love writing.

Hmmm. What will I be doing after it's handed in and defended? I expect that will become clear in time. (Maybe God will give me the summer off. Maybe I'll be doing crazy prep for something else.) Meanwhile, Waldemar's helping me sort edits and post-grad options. Thanks, hon.

Ok, break's over. That means it's time to banish myself to the tub to do another read-through.

Read more:
*Watchword for the Week - Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure. Psalm 147:5

*To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse. Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 25:1-5 NIV 

*On that day the root of Jesse shall stand as a signal to the peoples; the nations shall inquire of him. Isaiah 11:10

*Paul wrote: If you, a wild olive shoot, were grafted in to share the rich root of the olive tree, do not boast over the branches. If you do boast, remember that it is not you that support the root, but the root that supports you. Romans 11:17-18


*Isaiah 40:21-31; Psalm 147:1-11,20c; 1 Corinthians 9:16-23; Mark 1:29-39


Moravian Prayer: God, today we gather to sing our alleluias to you. On this our day of worship, we acknowledge that it is not us but Jesus Christ who made it all possible through his love to each of us. Help us to stand together as a living branch extended from that love. Amen. 

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Not so fast

I thought today was Ash Wednesday. My body needs a rest from all the rich food we've been eating, and Lent is a good time to combine mental and physical health with spiritual disciplines. Since Lent fell on Feb. 17 last year, I figured today was the day for this year. Nope, we have 3 weeks to go until the memorial days begin.

As a Protestant, I didn't grow up with Lenten observances. Our church fasted Good Friday with a special service in the morning and evening. I seem to remember most of them being rainy and blustery, appropriately yucky weather for the darkness of the remembrance. Easter, which was nearly always sunny, started with a Sunrise Service at the local cemetery and progressed through several church services into the evening.

But no Lent. When I studied for my Masters degree, I prayed Catholic and Orthodox prayers for a season, familiarizing myself with other Christian practices. I reveled in the richness and beauty as the Spirit breathed into the old traditions!

Lent came alive that year as I accepted a new discipline of daily Lenten writing. As I read through the scriptures, I posted observations to an initial list of 150 people (before blogging was popular). The list grew into my blog, first on a now-defunct site, then at xanga, now at www.peacefulones.blogspot.com.

Some years I love writing, some years I dread the merciless demand of each new morning at the computer keyboard. As I read through those years, I marvel at God's faithfulness in opening scripture and allowing spiritual disciplines to shape my life. (Though today I'm glad I don't have to begin fasting nor daily writing because of a three-week reprieve.) 

I'm looking forward to meeting God again within the special attention that Lent offers, starting March 9 this year. I need the solitude, meditation, and examination more than ever, after the challenges of the past year. How about you? 

Read more:
*O LORD, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress. Isaiah 33:2 NIV

*I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’S great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the LORD has laid it on him.  Let him bury his face in the dust—there may yet be hope.  Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.  Lamentations 3:19-32 NIV

*Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4 NIV