Physiotherapy is an interesting process. Some people in the group session for hip and knee replacements are athletes. They swing through the exercises, their strong muscles helping them push through the pain. They are determined to do more and better each time. "Wow," say the PT crew. "You're making great progress and will back to normal in no time."
Some are sedentary older people, for whom this is a delay in a decline of mobility or health. They do the exercises and hope it doesn't hurt too much. Some of them have not moved this much in months or years. "C'mon honey, you can get just a little more out of that hip," say the helpers. "If you want to have good range of motion, you'll have to push a bit."
Our daughter continually gets the comment of "You're too young for this!" from co-participants. (We agree.) She strains through the motions, bending as far as she can, and trying to straighten the knee back out. We watch the effort needed for simple moves. "Keep trying: your knee is doing very well," encourage the therapists.
Each time I stride up the stairs to the third floor room, I am reminded that a healthy body and mind are a great blessing, not to be taken for granted. Thank you God for every working member and the capacity to enjoy life and mobility! And thank you for the encouragers who tell us the truth and our potential.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Standing by
Today I'm eating and our daughter is fasting for surgery. My months of fasting and other spiritual disciplines have ended. My appeals to God have come again to this: God is God and we who serve him resign to his decisions.
Our daughter is preparing for her knee replacement this afternoon, provided a new cold bug doesn't interfere to push it off. We just want it to be over so she can get back on her feet. This is her fourth joint replacement and fifth major surgery. Between, there's a kind of painful equilibrium where she deals with her rheumatoid arthritis and friends and family pray.
Every time surgery rolls around, my entire being brims with sadness. On the day of surgery a mother is supposed to be 'up' and strong for her child. It's not about us parents, after all. Not about anyone but our daughter. So there is a front to be upheld and a cool functionality that kicks in.
Each time this happens, the process deepens my longstanding relationship with a heavenly Father who could speak a word, a Creator who could easily breathe his life into a body or joint, and a God who could heal with no loss to his person or power. It's also about loving a God who helps us endure pain, comforts us, and faithfully watches over us. Christian friends warn me not to forget to be grateful for many blessings, even when I'm feeling betrayed by the ugliness of reality.
The process of faith is about trusting that nothing is wasted. Not the hideous scrape of a surgeon's saw or the medical miracle of anesthetics to dull unbearable agony. Not the generosity of caregivers, the skill of doctors, or the greed of the American medical system. Not even my disappointment with God or the closing off of emotions to wait out the day. Especially not the trust that God and his love remain the same when life is intolerable.
As my husband goes off to do what he loves - teach - and I stay behind for the hospital run, we are bound together by prayer for this child. Grief pushes down everything but words on paper. Speaking would smash the defenses that keep me alive and upright.
Read more:
To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. N one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.
Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 25:1-5 NIV
Our daughter is preparing for her knee replacement this afternoon, provided a new cold bug doesn't interfere to push it off. We just want it to be over so she can get back on her feet. This is her fourth joint replacement and fifth major surgery. Between, there's a kind of painful equilibrium where she deals with her rheumatoid arthritis and friends and family pray.
Every time surgery rolls around, my entire being brims with sadness. On the day of surgery a mother is supposed to be 'up' and strong for her child. It's not about us parents, after all. Not about anyone but our daughter. So there is a front to be upheld and a cool functionality that kicks in.
Each time this happens, the process deepens my longstanding relationship with a heavenly Father who could speak a word, a Creator who could easily breathe his life into a body or joint, and a God who could heal with no loss to his person or power. It's also about loving a God who helps us endure pain, comforts us, and faithfully watches over us. Christian friends warn me not to forget to be grateful for many blessings, even when I'm feeling betrayed by the ugliness of reality.
The process of faith is about trusting that nothing is wasted. Not the hideous scrape of a surgeon's saw or the medical miracle of anesthetics to dull unbearable agony. Not the generosity of caregivers, the skill of doctors, or the greed of the American medical system. Not even my disappointment with God or the closing off of emotions to wait out the day. Especially not the trust that God and his love remain the same when life is intolerable.
As my husband goes off to do what he loves - teach - and I stay behind for the hospital run, we are bound together by prayer for this child. Grief pushes down everything but words on paper. Speaking would smash the defenses that keep me alive and upright.
Read more:
To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. N one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse.
Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 25:1-5 NIV
Friday, May 22, 2009
Job training
Thirty-five years of accumulating creative skills, networking, building a business, and perfecting an area of expertise helped when I was hired as a non-traditionalist to develop a niche. But working for myself hadn't prepped me very well for institutional conformity.
A traditional workplace that emphasizes correct channels is a great teacher. Participants learn compliance to bring the best effects with the least effort. Some employees see work as holistic, while others show up for work and happily punch out without giving the job another thought until the next day. Some are naturally gifted with smooth speech, and some are blunter. Some instinctively understand administrative expectations while others spill over and create messes. A bureaucracy has a long memory that notes and charts stepping outside the lines.
Inside the box, we gain job skills and negotiate with internal allies. We watch how power and powerlessness shapes character. We learn job consistancy and careful attention to rules and regulations. We learn to keep our own counsel while nurturing non-institutional mentors for balance and insight. Separating job performance from self worth is crucial for survival.
God knows how past and present lessons will inform us and shape our resume. Politics and hierarchies can be good preparation for the future. While trying to twist ourselves into a functional mold, we are wise to stop occasionally to ask what we really want from life. To examine how the past has shaped us. And how the present will help us love and serve God in days to come.
Read more:
*But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me. Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love. Psalm 31:14-16 NIV
*A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich. He who gathers in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who brings shame. Proverbs 10:4-5 NLT
*Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away. I want you to be free from the concerns of this life.” 1 Corinthians 7:31 NLT
A traditional workplace that emphasizes correct channels is a great teacher. Participants learn compliance to bring the best effects with the least effort. Some employees see work as holistic, while others show up for work and happily punch out without giving the job another thought until the next day. Some are naturally gifted with smooth speech, and some are blunter. Some instinctively understand administrative expectations while others spill over and create messes. A bureaucracy has a long memory that notes and charts stepping outside the lines.
Inside the box, we gain job skills and negotiate with internal allies. We watch how power and powerlessness shapes character. We learn job consistancy and careful attention to rules and regulations. We learn to keep our own counsel while nurturing non-institutional mentors for balance and insight. Separating job performance from self worth is crucial for survival.
God knows how past and present lessons will inform us and shape our resume. Politics and hierarchies can be good preparation for the future. While trying to twist ourselves into a functional mold, we are wise to stop occasionally to ask what we really want from life. To examine how the past has shaped us. And how the present will help us love and serve God in days to come.
Read more:
*But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me. Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love. Psalm 31:14-16 NIV
*A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich. He who gathers in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who brings shame. Proverbs 10:4-5 NLT
*Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away. I want you to be free from the concerns of this life.” 1 Corinthians 7:31 NLT
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Mind reading
One of the nice things about social media is that we can read others’ thoughts. The fear that computers would prevent society from progressing or people from meeting hasn’t materialized. Those who prefer their own company have always avoided others. Those disposed to visit, include, and socialize now have another venue, in addition to coffee shops and homes.
Donne’s poem was in two young men’s conversation, talking about their love for fiancés and difficulty in saying goodbye upon parting. I was delighted by their chat as well as the verse. For the romantic, it may be worth memorizing to bless our spouse as we separate for the day or a journey.
John Donne: A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning
Dull sublunary lovers' love
—Whose soul is sense—cannot admit
Of absence, 'cause it doth remove
The thing which elemented it.
But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss.
Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.
Donne’s poem was in two young men’s conversation, talking about their love for fiancés and difficulty in saying goodbye upon parting. I was delighted by their chat as well as the verse. For the romantic, it may be worth memorizing to bless our spouse as we separate for the day or a journey.
John Donne: A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning
Dull sublunary lovers' love
—Whose soul is sense—cannot admit
Of absence, 'cause it doth remove
The thing which elemented it.
But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss.
Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Staying until we go
There’s something about staying in place. Over the years, we’ve watched friends drift from church to church, job to job, group to group. They leave a little of themselves here and there. Unless they are intentional about blooming where they’re planted, these transplants grow very shallow roots.
We’ve also watched others serve at the same church, work at the same job until they are pensioned, and maintain childhood friends. When it’s been to the exclusion of growing and changing, that hasn’t been healthy either. They become narrow and judgmental of anything not like them or their circle.
Somewhere between, there’s a healthy balance of staying put until God moves us. No church, job, or friendship is ideal. There are times of glory and times of pain. Through it all, we are learning, stretching, and realizing our place in God’s big world. Christ promised to be with us, to lead us with his voice and the Holy Spirit, no matter what the situation—highs or lows.
In contrast, Buddhism emphasizes living in the moment without trying to improve or strive so that over many lifetimes we become immune to suffering. Hinduism says that we deserve what we get and should make the best of it so the next incarnation is more positive.
What will this day bring? Only God knows. Outlook calendars, planned commutes, and schedules are guidelines. Each morning, afternoon, and evening unfolds under God’s watchful eye. There are no surprises for him.
Let’s listen for the Voice, bend to the day, and live abundantly in the grace he will provide for today.
Read more:
*But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield. Psalm 5:11-12 NLT
*I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. You will live in the land I gave your forefathers; you will be my people, and I will be your God. Ezekiel 36:26-28 NIV
*Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches. … Yes, each of you should remain as you were when God called you. Are you a slave? Don't let that worry you—but if you get a chance to be free, take it. … Each of you, dear brothers and sisters, should remain as you were when God first called you. 1 Corinthians 7:17, 20–21, 24
We’ve also watched others serve at the same church, work at the same job until they are pensioned, and maintain childhood friends. When it’s been to the exclusion of growing and changing, that hasn’t been healthy either. They become narrow and judgmental of anything not like them or their circle.
Somewhere between, there’s a healthy balance of staying put until God moves us. No church, job, or friendship is ideal. There are times of glory and times of pain. Through it all, we are learning, stretching, and realizing our place in God’s big world. Christ promised to be with us, to lead us with his voice and the Holy Spirit, no matter what the situation—highs or lows.
In contrast, Buddhism emphasizes living in the moment without trying to improve or strive so that over many lifetimes we become immune to suffering. Hinduism says that we deserve what we get and should make the best of it so the next incarnation is more positive.
What will this day bring? Only God knows. Outlook calendars, planned commutes, and schedules are guidelines. Each morning, afternoon, and evening unfolds under God’s watchful eye. There are no surprises for him.
Let’s listen for the Voice, bend to the day, and live abundantly in the grace he will provide for today.
Read more:
*But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield. Psalm 5:11-12 NLT
*I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. You will live in the land I gave your forefathers; you will be my people, and I will be your God. Ezekiel 36:26-28 NIV
*Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches. … Yes, each of you should remain as you were when God called you. Are you a slave? Don't let that worry you—but if you get a chance to be free, take it. … Each of you, dear brothers and sisters, should remain as you were when God first called you. 1 Corinthians 7:17, 20–21, 24
Monday, May 18, 2009
Good night. Sleep tight.
The woods out back have burst into leaf. After a few warm days when the sap moved through the cells to the tops of the firs, each branch is tipped with fresh green needles. We lost a few trees over the winter and the woodpeckers have been busy eating the bugs in the trunks. The clicking of beak against wood wakes us some mornings.
It’s started to rain again after a sunny weekend. The ground smells like peat, the pond is refilling, and the birds are settling down for the night as the sun goes down.
From morning until night, scriptures tell us God’s love never fails. That’s something to give us sweet dreams tonight.
Read more:
*Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep. O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.
How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light. Psalm 36:5-9 NIV
*Then Daniel praised the God of heaven and said: "Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him.
I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you, you have made known to us the dream of the king." Daniel 2:19b-23 NIV
*He who forms the mountains, creates the wind, and reveals His thoughts to man, He who turns dawn to darkness, and treads the high places of the earth--the Lord God Almighty is His name. Amos 4:13 NIV
It’s started to rain again after a sunny weekend. The ground smells like peat, the pond is refilling, and the birds are settling down for the night as the sun goes down.
From morning until night, scriptures tell us God’s love never fails. That’s something to give us sweet dreams tonight.
Read more:
*Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep. O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.
How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light. Psalm 36:5-9 NIV
*Then Daniel praised the God of heaven and said: "Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him.
I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you, you have made known to us the dream of the king." Daniel 2:19b-23 NIV
*He who forms the mountains, creates the wind, and reveals His thoughts to man, He who turns dawn to darkness, and treads the high places of the earth--the Lord God Almighty is His name. Amos 4:13 NIV
Sunday, May 17, 2009
"You're such a character!"
Sunday. Today my husband and I are together in church for a whole service. W teaches at various area churches, and this is my first Sunday to join him in a few months. We sat around the dinner table yesterday with our kids, talking theology, politics, and history. It was like old times. Watching W light up, talking with his children about application of scripture to life and work, makes our hearts glad. We also talked about personality and character, and how sometimes those get muddled during conflicts. Attacking character because of personality issues can create confusion.
W's dad went to college to finish his education years ago, something Jono and Kirsten hadn't known. Dad K was influential in sending W here after a year's study in Germany. At that time, this school was the only semi-local college where students in ministry could finish a BA. W's dad passed to W his passion to know and teach.
Dad K was called to ministry as a youngster and raised in a ministerial family who founded many Canadian congregations. Until he was 41, he was blocked by his pastor from obtaining ministry credentials. He may have waited nearly a decade, as I remember. The pastor refused to sign off on Dad's papers. He insisted Dad 'was not ready,' though he preached, led worship and the choir, visited the sick, and carried much of the burden of pastoral care, along with another full-time job. Other ministers would discuss the injustice of it when they came through our home. But the pastor was dead set against Dad's ordination and influential and vocal in his circle of presbyters.
My father-in-law persisted and did not give up. Ironically, he became interim pastor when the other fellow left that church - and of course he was ordained. Then Dad K moved on, becoming a pastor to several hurting congregations. He knew how to reconcile people to each other and God. His experiences made him a compassionate advocate for the powerless and weak. He pastored with an intimate understanding of deep hurts inflicted by "a brother" and the patient, painful process of doing God's will.
Those years gave all of us an insider view of church politics and hierarchy. "It is God's Church. It belongs to no man. Each one is responsible to God for how we obey and love him, " Dad K said over and over again. "They will stand before God also, but I am not responsible for them. I must love and shepherd the sheep in my care."
W's mom was here for Friday's wedding, and her visit gave us time to reflect on the legacy of a family that has loved and known God. Our children have a long heritage of faith and ministry, dating back to medieval times. Still, they must traverse the path of serving God in their own generation. They must overcome their own brokenness and flaws, and perhaps fulfill their calling over the objections of those with other ideas. But if they have the moral backbone and spiritual stamina to follow the gentle example of their Opa, we will be very happy indeed.
Read more:
*The LORD is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? The LORD is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident." Psalm 27: 1-3 NLT
*He is the LORD our God; his judgments are in all the earth. He remembers his covenant forever, the word that he commanded, for a thousand generations.... Psalm 105: 7-8 NLT
*In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 6:26-28 NIV
W's dad went to college to finish his education years ago, something Jono and Kirsten hadn't known. Dad K was influential in sending W here after a year's study in Germany. At that time, this school was the only semi-local college where students in ministry could finish a BA. W's dad passed to W his passion to know and teach.
Dad K was called to ministry as a youngster and raised in a ministerial family who founded many Canadian congregations. Until he was 41, he was blocked by his pastor from obtaining ministry credentials. He may have waited nearly a decade, as I remember. The pastor refused to sign off on Dad's papers. He insisted Dad 'was not ready,' though he preached, led worship and the choir, visited the sick, and carried much of the burden of pastoral care, along with another full-time job. Other ministers would discuss the injustice of it when they came through our home. But the pastor was dead set against Dad's ordination and influential and vocal in his circle of presbyters.
My father-in-law persisted and did not give up. Ironically, he became interim pastor when the other fellow left that church - and of course he was ordained. Then Dad K moved on, becoming a pastor to several hurting congregations. He knew how to reconcile people to each other and God. His experiences made him a compassionate advocate for the powerless and weak. He pastored with an intimate understanding of deep hurts inflicted by "a brother" and the patient, painful process of doing God's will.
Those years gave all of us an insider view of church politics and hierarchy. "It is God's Church. It belongs to no man. Each one is responsible to God for how we obey and love him, " Dad K said over and over again. "They will stand before God also, but I am not responsible for them. I must love and shepherd the sheep in my care."
W's mom was here for Friday's wedding, and her visit gave us time to reflect on the legacy of a family that has loved and known God. Our children have a long heritage of faith and ministry, dating back to medieval times. Still, they must traverse the path of serving God in their own generation. They must overcome their own brokenness and flaws, and perhaps fulfill their calling over the objections of those with other ideas. But if they have the moral backbone and spiritual stamina to follow the gentle example of their Opa, we will be very happy indeed.
Read more:
*The LORD is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? The LORD is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident." Psalm 27: 1-3 NLT
*He is the LORD our God; his judgments are in all the earth. He remembers his covenant forever, the word that he commanded, for a thousand generations.... Psalm 105: 7-8 NLT
*In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 6:26-28 NIV
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Circumstance and caution
Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Day
Repudiate \rih-PYOO-dee-ayt verb
1 : to refuse to have anything to do with : disown
*2 : to refuse to acknowledge, accept, or pay
Example Sentence: The nation's president has unequivocally repudiated the arms treaty, and it is very probable that he has green-lighted the manufacturing of strategic nuclear weapons.
What an interesting word. Reading the definition reminded me of my ongoing discipline of situational avoidance to prevent self-immolation.
The definition also made me smile because I have an exact opposite relationship with my hero, a mentor with whom I am utterly safe. He’s my dad. I admire him for many reasons. This morning I was considering his loyalty to others and his ability to boost others' confidence while developing their strengths. He is pleased rather than threatened by new ideas. He approaches innovations (even those accompanied by failures or gaffes) as opportunities for growth rather than opposition to his agenda.
When my father headed his various companies, he looked after his employees. He mentored and taught his teams to boost their skills. He was secure in himself and his ability to lead, so he rewarded originality - whether or not it was a perfect fit. He regularly went to bat for those who worked for him, even defending them legally if they had messed up a process. His team responded with hard work and loyalty. They were steadily at the top of their game, #1 in their industry, earning awards for productivity, creativity, and great outcomes compared to competitors.
We've all seen how personal giftings and strengths have corresponding down-sides. People-pleasers bend to the pressure of peers to avoid conflict. Strongly opinionated people use bad language and inappropriate, racist, or sexist comments to make a point. Dreamers forget to implement the details of a plan. Good administrators get caught up in their positions and bully underlings. Big picture idealists don’t always think through the implications of their actions. No matter what our gifts, all of us mess up. And some of us have more than a few mistakes among our success stories.
There are good reasons to limit or repudiate some people’s company. Gossips hurt our reputations. Negative people drain our energy by assuming bad motives behind poor actions. Some people remember our malfunctions to define us. No matter how often we exercise discipline and succeed, our failures shape the pattern by which they confine us, especially if our lapses are public and humiliating.
It's important to forgive, to stay open to disagreements and different views. Wisdom and experience, however, makes us extremely cautious of those who value rules above relationships, and wary of those with more confidence in exercising control than in boosting others to the next level of achievement.
Let’s invest ourselves most where we can be fully alive. We can't always - nor do we want to - avoid the pain of a hard lesson. But let's surround ourselves with people who assume our good intentions and teach us good judgment without leaving us undefended or vulnerable to attack. We'll do our best work in the haven of those with complimentary strengths, aware that each person has strong gifts and weaknesses. Whenever possible, let's find those partners whose gifts cover our very real and obvious flaws.
Read more:
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Psalm 23 NIV
Repudiate \rih-PYOO-dee-ayt verb
1 : to refuse to have anything to do with : disown
*2 : to refuse to acknowledge, accept, or pay
Example Sentence: The nation's president has unequivocally repudiated the arms treaty, and it is very probable that he has green-lighted the manufacturing of strategic nuclear weapons.
What an interesting word. Reading the definition reminded me of my ongoing discipline of situational avoidance to prevent self-immolation.
The definition also made me smile because I have an exact opposite relationship with my hero, a mentor with whom I am utterly safe. He’s my dad. I admire him for many reasons. This morning I was considering his loyalty to others and his ability to boost others' confidence while developing their strengths. He is pleased rather than threatened by new ideas. He approaches innovations (even those accompanied by failures or gaffes) as opportunities for growth rather than opposition to his agenda.
When my father headed his various companies, he looked after his employees. He mentored and taught his teams to boost their skills. He was secure in himself and his ability to lead, so he rewarded originality - whether or not it was a perfect fit. He regularly went to bat for those who worked for him, even defending them legally if they had messed up a process. His team responded with hard work and loyalty. They were steadily at the top of their game, #1 in their industry, earning awards for productivity, creativity, and great outcomes compared to competitors.
We've all seen how personal giftings and strengths have corresponding down-sides. People-pleasers bend to the pressure of peers to avoid conflict. Strongly opinionated people use bad language and inappropriate, racist, or sexist comments to make a point. Dreamers forget to implement the details of a plan. Good administrators get caught up in their positions and bully underlings. Big picture idealists don’t always think through the implications of their actions. No matter what our gifts, all of us mess up. And some of us have more than a few mistakes among our success stories.
There are good reasons to limit or repudiate some people’s company. Gossips hurt our reputations. Negative people drain our energy by assuming bad motives behind poor actions. Some people remember our malfunctions to define us. No matter how often we exercise discipline and succeed, our failures shape the pattern by which they confine us, especially if our lapses are public and humiliating.
It's important to forgive, to stay open to disagreements and different views. Wisdom and experience, however, makes us extremely cautious of those who value rules above relationships, and wary of those with more confidence in exercising control than in boosting others to the next level of achievement.
Let’s invest ourselves most where we can be fully alive. We can't always - nor do we want to - avoid the pain of a hard lesson. But let's surround ourselves with people who assume our good intentions and teach us good judgment without leaving us undefended or vulnerable to attack. We'll do our best work in the haven of those with complimentary strengths, aware that each person has strong gifts and weaknesses. Whenever possible, let's find those partners whose gifts cover our very real and obvious flaws.
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The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Psalm 23 NIV
Friday, May 15, 2009
Wedded
The children have married. What a lovely service: they couldn't take their eyes off each other, and they are smiling in every picture. Justin Bryeans (bro-in-law) did a fabulous job of the vows and sermon. The barbecue and chocolate cake was tasty. And they're on their way to a life together. Congratulations, Jeremy and Rebekah Kowalski.
YAY! Parents, siblings, and grandparents are cheering!
YAY! Parents, siblings, and grandparents are cheering!
It's time
Today our son marries his best friend. Since they were little, her family and ours have prayed for them. Before they were born, we dedicated them to God and his work. Grandparents and friends helped us pray them through childhood, teens, college, and into their first jobs. When they became friends, we were glad.
Yesterday, I'd told my boss I was taking a day off to prepare house and heart for the wedding. The day had other plans: I worked from 6am-4pm, not catching lunch until 2pm. Obligations flooded into the day, pushing me aside. I fielded alumni questions on diplomas and transcripts, spent an hour on a long-distance conference call to plan a joint summer reunion, set up a new student worker... the calls kept coming. Finally I just quit and shut down my computer. It's been a work week that started at 6 or 7 am most days and ended late. One night we were still driving home at 10.15pm. Oh well, I didn't get my day off after all. (I've worked more than a week's hours, though the sun has just come up on Friday. Fine. Some weeks are like that.)
Our daughter walked into the house last night after a 15 hour trip from NC (thanks, today's airlines!) How lovely to see her face. The siblings and spouses set up the great room. The young men lined up the chairs to face the bay window where the couple will stand. The young women made the corsages and bouquet. The bride's sister cut the groom's hair on the deck, porch lights cutting the night air. The bride's brother-in-law officiates, so he mapped out the service with the couple. The bride's mom and sis sang through the communion song so I could write it down and remember it. Since summer school has started and Waldemar is teaching 6 hours a day, he napped in exhaustion on the sofa, part of the evening.
The bride slept over and is here for breakfast. Soon the grandparents arrive. We'll take photographs withe the bride in her beautiful white dress. Our youngest son has practiced the wedding march and is ready to play in the bride. The groom will watch his best friend walk toward him. They will kiss in front of the family who have gathered to witness their commitment.
I'm glad this wonderful day has come. It's the right time for young love, the answer to our prayers. Thanks to Grandmas who have covered and prayed the youngsters into adulthood. Thanks to my dear WPPRk friends for years of prayers, sound advice, comfort, and counsel. And above all, thanks be to God, who will be enough no matter what the future holds.
Yesterday, I'd told my boss I was taking a day off to prepare house and heart for the wedding. The day had other plans: I worked from 6am-4pm, not catching lunch until 2pm. Obligations flooded into the day, pushing me aside. I fielded alumni questions on diplomas and transcripts, spent an hour on a long-distance conference call to plan a joint summer reunion, set up a new student worker... the calls kept coming. Finally I just quit and shut down my computer. It's been a work week that started at 6 or 7 am most days and ended late. One night we were still driving home at 10.15pm. Oh well, I didn't get my day off after all. (I've worked more than a week's hours, though the sun has just come up on Friday. Fine. Some weeks are like that.)
Our daughter walked into the house last night after a 15 hour trip from NC (thanks, today's airlines!) How lovely to see her face. The siblings and spouses set up the great room. The young men lined up the chairs to face the bay window where the couple will stand. The young women made the corsages and bouquet. The bride's sister cut the groom's hair on the deck, porch lights cutting the night air. The bride's brother-in-law officiates, so he mapped out the service with the couple. The bride's mom and sis sang through the communion song so I could write it down and remember it. Since summer school has started and Waldemar is teaching 6 hours a day, he napped in exhaustion on the sofa, part of the evening.
The bride slept over and is here for breakfast. Soon the grandparents arrive. We'll take photographs withe the bride in her beautiful white dress. Our youngest son has practiced the wedding march and is ready to play in the bride. The groom will watch his best friend walk toward him. They will kiss in front of the family who have gathered to witness their commitment.
I'm glad this wonderful day has come. It's the right time for young love, the answer to our prayers. Thanks to Grandmas who have covered and prayed the youngsters into adulthood. Thanks to my dear WPPRk friends for years of prayers, sound advice, comfort, and counsel. And above all, thanks be to God, who will be enough no matter what the future holds.
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