Saturday, July 20, 2024

Spilling my guts onto paper

Wednesday, July 17, 2024
We spend the breakfast hour with Seattle kids and grandkids and are treated to another performance. The grandchildren are preparing their acts for an upcoming family camp. We close up the suitcases, wrapping up another trip. This was mostly a working trip: we usually don't get to enjoy summer in the north.
Kim shows up before 10 to take us to the airport. We chat about current ideas, have no trouble checking in at the Japan Airline counter, and relax in the airport lounge before takeoff. It's our last "American" food for a while.
The flights and transfers are uneventful - that is to say, it's the best possible travel experience. After a 10-hr flight, we land in Tokyo for a few hours. It takes another 7-hour flight to reach Jakarta before midnight. It's before 1:30 when we get through customs, retrieve our luggage, and are picked up by the Bandung shuttle.
Thursday
We haven't taken this shuttle brand before and end up at a station closer to home after the driver forgets to drop us at the first stop. Middle of the night, there's no traffic. Middle of the day, it would have taken an extra 1/2 - 1 hour ... With relief, we unlock the house gate at 4:30, treated to a raucous welcome by our dogs. We shower off travel grime and unpack one suitcase (food needs to go into the freezer but why stop with that?) ... before falling into bed at 5:30.

I wake feeling rested until I look at the clock: 6:45am. HA that wasn't very long. I finish unpacking, tidy everything into its place, and go for a walk. The neighbor is building a second storey atop the first: look at that bamboo scaffolding.
The poinsettia plant along the road has grown to 4' tall (1.3 meters).
W joins me for a late breakfast at #NaraPark. His gout flares with travel and not drinking enough water. His feet are too sore to walk far. I leave the dogs behind for a loop-and-a-half.

Competition among eateries is fierce; there are always new attractions. Today, Nara has opened its state-of-the-art playground and built a new viewing platform over the property. They celebrated their 6th anniversary Monday. Sorry we missed it!
We are hungry for spicy foods. Before I can take a picture, we've emptied our plates of noodles and spicy sambal. Sigh, can we admit that we didn't enjoy the bland Japanese airline food inflight or at the airport lounge? It seemed to have no spices at all. Plus most of it had seaweed or fish in it, neither which are my favorites. But Indonesian ramen and rica (spicy chicken sauce) - oh yum! It hits the spot.
A flock of employees arrives for their meeting. It's a "thing" to wear company uniforms at team-building events.
One of the benefits of keeping a household going (besides providing a safe place for guests while we travel) is that we land in motion. Sure, we have disrupted sleep patterns, eat at weird times, and we need to unpack and unload. But we can jump into work without finding new helpers or scrambling for a house or resources. What a blessing.

The helper begins to transform my $8 thrift store find from black
to silver, with the help of really old (25- or 30-year-old?) Hagerty's Silver Polish. I popped the polish into a suitcase coming from Seattle ages ago. A few more sessions with a toothbrush and soft rag and it will gleam. What is it? Not sure - it's hollow. I'm guessing it had a glass insert for flowers. Why is it here? We'll find out.
 
I am not hungry at lunch and nap soundly from 1-6. W goes to town in late morning to replace a credit card number (his card # was stolen in Missouri) and runs errands. Then he crashes into a long nap as well.

I check on him twice but he's fast asleep in his office. I toast a slice of Levi's homemade bread for supper. I have no idea (what/if) W eats since he's sleeping when I eat, but we fall fast asleep together at 8pm.

Friday - Happy birthday, Doris!
Rested? Get up. It's 12:30am when I pick up the Morning Pages journal. I write pages and pages of ... What I do remember? What did I learn? How do I feel - then and now? What I do wish for or not care about? I write some prayers.

And my soul unclenches. Writers write, they say. Whoever "they" are, they're correct. I hurl my innards onto paper with a pen. It gives me the capacity to take a hard look at lessons learned and things brought or left behind. Then I can read the classroom books I could not read and start on work due this week.

I intentionally did not journal this trip. I brought a new journal and carried it with me. Yet every time I looked at it, my heart said no. Not yet. Don't write. I took fewer photos, too, leaving my phone behind at meals and meetings. I left the blank pages behind when we left Seattle.

The weeks slipped by. Normally, part of every day includes writing so I wondered if the days would expand. Would we do more significant things and build more memories? Nope. We had wonderful meetings and meals and did worthwhile things. All I remember is a rededication to God, warm feelings in connections, being proud of our adult kids and lovely grands ... and what little I recorded.

After a week or two, I blogged cause I must write something. (Perhaps subscribers read the posts but I didn't post the links.) I wrote down prayer requests during a meeting. And I wrote 3 phrases spoken over me, in the little Scout notebook in my purse.

I remember the first two items: 1. Don't fear. 2. Don't take responsibility for what belongs to God. (But #3? I can't remember it. I have to look it up - again.) 3. Let God serve you as Jesus did for his disciples when he washed their feet. (Explained to me as: "Don't always think you have to act for the benefit of others or do things for God. Perhaps ask 'what does God want to do for me?'")

What we don't remember is often one of our blind spots. I've had to look up the last point several times. I sit with #3, asking: why does it disappear? Don't I like being served by God? Am I resisting what he offers me? Am I letting him work out maturity and changes in me? Or do I only want to accept things I understand? Do I accept the kindness and love he offers? Or do I limit his access?

Hmmm. After a brutal look inside, I sum up my meditation with prayer for more capacity to live with ease, acceptance, and gratitude for every moment. 

About 7:00, we walk 1.5 loops before settling down to work. We're shaded by the tall trees that line the streets.
I take a second look at the neighbor's house. It is getting a metal roof, the walls are brick, and the building supplies are heaped inside and outside: sand, gravel, and mud. All is hand-mixed in place.
Mom calls with her updates before W and I get basic supplies at the Borma grocer. Oh look, they've restocked my favorite Indonesian cheese snacks. I buy a few extras to give away to friends on our next trip.
I make eggs and sausage for breakfast but have no appetite at lunch: I eat a cookie, some papaya, and a bit of cucumber salad. A nap is also unsuccessful. We have a late afternoon meal at #WaroengEthnic ($4 rice dish for me, $8 steak for W). We admire the lush vines blooming at the restaurant.
We meet Cora, the guest staying upstairs. She's on a trip through the land of her grandparents and her mom. Her great-grandparents founded a school in Indonesia. Leonard and MaryJane Lanphear were among the oldest alumni of NU ('46) when I was alumni director. What a great connection and legacy. Once again our house becomes a meeting place.

By 3:30, I've cleared emails and am taking notes from a new textbook for the upcoming class. I collect a temporary library for my students as well. 
Bailey is a mess but gets a fine cleanup today.
Looking good! Thanks, PakG. Someone's sheared his topknot above his eyes; the groomer will fix the flathead and trim his muzzle next week.

Saturday - Happy 13th Birthday, Kinsey!
Our eldest grandchild becomes a teenager today. I've left her a card.
Lucky us: we got to celebrate her birthday with the family earlier this month in Montana. She's always been an adventurer and leader of the grandkid pack.
On our walk, I spot a vole or mole prone on the street. Looks like it keeled over in shock.
I pluck flowers from the garden for tomorrow's bouquet. This arrangement is simple (staghorn ferns, mosquito plants, and anthuriums) but big enough for the hall. The Italian vase, collected by Mom a half-century ago, is 12" tall.
IbuSiti presses the travel kinks out of my sore muscles in a long massage. What a blessing she is. After lunch, we change the aquarium water, do chores, and write a few proposals to partners.
It's a quiet start to the weekend as we celebrate the mercies of God at home.

Read more:
*I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him. Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods.

Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:1-5


*Who has performed and done this, calling the generations from the beginning? I, the Lord, am first and will be with the last. Isaiah 41:4

*Do not be afraid; I am the First and the Last and the Living One. Revelation 1:17-18

Moravian Prayer: Everlasting God, you have always been and will always be. You remain amazingly present, available, and steadfast while so much in our lives is adrift, fleeting, and senseless. We trust in your abiding presence in every moment of our lives. Thanks be to you. Amen.

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