Three checklists: to-dos, maybe-to-dos, and R&R

Today's relaxation: creating my Valentine's bouquet

The coaching session this morning was really helpful. By the end, I'd drawn three lists for next week. (I'm thinking of them with the vocabulary of food, since I'm writing before supper.)

1. The first is a "to-do"list of things seriously on my plate. I must "eat" these before next weekend.

2. Then come the "maybe-to-dos": these items are more like side dishes, nutritional but not essential. They don't have to be consumed next week. I'll slot those projects into the days as they come, according to appetite: "Do I have time to eat this? Do I have enough energy to burn this off?"

3. The final list is "relaxation" = dessert. What would de-stress the day, refresh my spirit, or make me feel like I'm on vacation - or at least on Sabbath?

I prioritize List 3. Without relaxation and refreshment, I don't think creatively. Part of the list includes engagement with others; a significant part focuses on withdrawal to do things I prefer to do alone.

How can we determine the priorities of our to-dos over our "eventually" important tasks? What gets urgent or immediate calendar time vs. more flexibility for long-term events or processes? I used these criteria to create my three lists:

1. List 1: What needs doing? These things have definite consequences if left undone before a deadline - to me personally or professionally. They may also impact others if neglected.
2. List 1/2: What longterm projects need to be started? Some of these go on the "to-do" list, while others are a "maybe," to be done as I have time.
3. List 2: What would I like to get done? These important things may have some consequences but don't significantly change the future without a hard deadline.
4. In scheduling things for the calendar (mostly to-dos), how much time or effort will it take? (Break some things into smaller chunks for better digestion!)
5. List 2: What can I postpone? These "maybe"s are options. They seem to move me toward a goal but are not important enough to prioritize. For instance, some take 15 minutes; if I have that slot of time, I may jump on them and get them out of the way. If not, no big deal.
6. List 3: What refreshes me? For example, I have a coupon for Aveda Spa that expires at the end of February. On my relaxation list is, "Call Emma about going out for a girls' day out." I penciled in a book I've meant to read. And I've noted, "Finish that Korean drama." I don't have to do any of these items, but even writing them down already makes me smile and feel more relaxed.

My new tabletop bouquet of plants
and ceramic painted mushrooms (assembled
after a visit with W to Molbaks Nursery)

When we'd finished the coaching session this morning, I had a clear picture of what a great next week would look like. List 1 would be completed. List 2 would have some checkmarks. I would have done at least a few things from List 3.

How do you decide on your to-dos, maybe-to-dos, and time-outs? If you've found an effective routine or method, please share it with us!

Read more:

*You save humans and animals alike, O Lord. ... With you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light. Psalm 36:6, 9 ESV

*Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139:23-24 NLT

*Jesus said in a loud voice, "Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink." John 7:37 NIV

*The creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and will obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. Romans 8:21 ESV

Moravian Prayer: Jesus, Light of the world, thank you for your unfailing love. Help us to put our trust in you. May we look to you for living water and for the Spirit to guide us. In your name we pray.

Creator God, who made us and every creature, the Psalmist tells us that in your unfailing love you preserve both human and beast. Thank you for watching over us and protecting us. We offer praise that through your Son's birth, death, and resurrection we are given freedom from the power of death. Our hope is in you and in the life to come. Amen.

A hopeful day indeed

Six of us sit around a table at Third Place Commons this morning. Our table is a cross-sawn log, an enormous tree felled in its prime. We rest our cups and saucers and sandwich plates on the resin tabletop and discuss relationships, ministry, and future plans.

Our hour together includes sharing our lives and dreams, introductions to new ministries and resources, prayer for each other, and a banana muffin and tea from the Honey Bear Bakery. All it takes is the simple intentionality of meeting in time and place to be able to share direction and celebrate our wins together.

The sun's out on this hopeful day. It's time for a walk to think and pray about Sunday's sermon at Neighborhood Church. I'm grateful for peers in ministry who encourage, coach, and release me to the calling of God.

What do your friends and coworkers contribute to your hopeful days?

Read more:
*You shall meditate on the book of the law day and night, so that you may be careful to act in accordance with all that is written in it. Joshua 1:8 NLT

*They did not conquer the land with their swords; it was not their own strong arm that gave them victory. It was your right hand and strong arm and the blinding light from your face that helped them, for you loved them. You are my King and my God. You command victories for Israel. Only by your power can we push back our enemies; only in your name can we trample our foes.

I do not trust in my bow; I do not count on my sword to save me. You are the one who gives us victory over our enemies; you disgrace those who hate us. O God, we give glory to you all day long and constantly praise your name." Psalm 44:3–8 NLT

*Jesus said, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.” Matthew 7:21 NLT

*... That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe. 1 Timothy 4:9-10 NIV

Moravian Prayer: Happy are those who follow God’s commandments, who obey him with all their heart! Help us, Lord, to live righteous lives. Teach us the Father’s will that we may please him. We ask this in your sacred name. Amen.

What's up, Coach?

Have you ever felt "stuck" in place? Had dreams or goals without moving forward? Did you see a need and didn't know how to make a difference?

Me too! I spent four hours this week, coaching and being coached. My coaches started our hour with: "Rosemarie, what would you like to talk about today?" They gently directed questions to make me pause, think about my vision for work or ministry, and help me commit to moving forward through specific "I will do this" action steps.

Coaching is a great venue for sorting what we know. It helps us design a future that from our vantage point may look like,

• "I wonder if I could try something."
• "I wish I could do ..." 
• "Oh no, what now? Where do I go from here?"
• "If I could run this past someone, it might become clearer."
• Wondered if you're headed in a direction that is true to your values, talents, or skills?

Mentoring brings another person's experience or knowledge to help you, but coaching unlocks your own thinking and preferred processes. It helps you choose your own "next steps" to walk - at your own pace. It guides you through ideas and actions that may not be on your horizon yet - or that you might overlook without someone "thinking alongside" you. Coaches help you build accountability to keep you on track, too.

Coaches meet their clients in person, on the phone, on Skype ... whatever suits the client best. Many coaches prefer an hour online or on the phone since it keeps coach and client on task and time.

I'm working toward coach certification and need some coaching hours. As your coach, I'll ask questions and reflect back what you're thinking. But the conversation belongs to you. Together, we'll listen to God's voice and direction, speaking through your heart and your mind. Every conversation is strictly confidential. "Payment" can include anything from my $35/hr fee to a traded service to cup of tea (or reciprocal coaching by another coach). First session is free for the first 15 clients.

Interested? Email me (click here) if you might benefit from coaching. Include two "best dates" where you can set aside an uninterrupted hour. (Likely, one will fit my calendar.)

Read more:

*One day King Abimelech came from Gerar with his adviser, Ahuzzath, and also Phicol, his army commander. 'Why have you come here?' Isaac asked. 'You obviously hate me, since you kicked me off your land.'

They replied, 'We can plainly see that the LORD is with you. So we want to enter into a sworn treaty with you. Let's make a covenant. Swear that you will not harm us, just as we have never troubled you. We have always treated you well, and we sent you away from us in peace. And now look how the LORD has blessed you!' Genesis 26:26–29 NLT

*My heart, O God, is steadfast. I will sing and make music with all my soul. Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth. Psalm 108:1-5 NIV

*Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. Let your good spirit lead me on a level path. Psalm 143:10 NLT

*Yes, and from ancient days I am he. No one can deliver out of my hand. When I act, who can reverse it? Isaiah 43:13 NIV

 *Christ himself is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17 NLT

*Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings; for it is well for the heart to be strengthened by grace. Hebrews 13:9 NLT

Moravian Prayer: God of past, present, and future; things temporal and eternal; everlasting life and daily living: for all time you have held all things together - what decision, then, could we make without your instruction? Help us not to separate your authority from matters we enjoy ruling for ourselves.

O Word who doesn’t fit on a page, we sometimes use scripture to fit our agendas. Forgive us for cheapening the complexities of your nature and your way by considering only the verses that serve our aim. Let your Spirit lead us to a deeper study of scripture. Amen.

Lent Day 37: Too dumb to know better?

Really bad. Really good. It's been one of those days. We classmates almost thought we knew what we were doing yesterday. Today we're sure we have no clue! I sat in the back of the room today to watch more and ask less. (Not sure that worked!)

In the first segment on "How to ask good coaching questions," I asked a dreadful question. The person to whom it was addressed felt defensive and unguarded. My "neutral curiosity" went unsatisfied and s/he didn't get any further in the journey.

I'm glad I typed verbatim notes as we were talking. I plan to examine what I actually said to see why the client - and most of the class- heard it the way they did, rather than how I intended to communicate. I'd like to avoid such crash-and-burnouts in future, both for the coaching client and for me.

In a later session, I remarked on something that seemed obvious to me. The lead trainer said, "Wow. In 10 years of coaching, I've never had someone come up with that observation. That was excellent." (HA HA; I bet raw recruits are like me. = We don't have a clue what we know and don't know, most of the time.)

If our personal worth resulted from any part of "good" or "bad" learning, we would have been in heaven and hell today. Yet no one cares about our failure but we. I chuckled when someone sitting nearby whispered, "Glad it was you, not me," after I flamed out. The class joked about "the awful question" all day.

I marvel at and relish the learning process. My way to understand new information comes from handling the material - sometimes aloud in a group - turning it over and over until it makes sense. Others students sit and listen, processing internally. Still others write everything down, going over the information at home. I wonder how Jesus learned best. If he was quick and nimble or careful and methodical.

No matter what class I'm in, I love to learn. I am insatiably interested in God's work among us. I want to know why people think and feel and act as they do. What is God doing that we can join? And what do we know or have that can help each other?

Thanks to our coaches for great demonstrations, to our coworkers for courage and spunk in the interactions, and especially, thanks be to God for his unsearchable riches in Christ Jesus. What a great day, the weird and the amazing moments included.

How's your day gone? Got any highlights to share? Any disasters to ponder?

Read more:
*'Blessed be the name of God from age to age, for wisdom and power are his. Daniel 2:20 NLT

*The Lord is my strength and my might; he has become my salvation. Psalm 118:14 NLT

*I delight in the way of your decrees as much as in all riches. Psalm 119:14 NLT*The world's sin is that it refuses to believe in me. John 16:9 NLT

*Where is the one who is wise? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 1 Corinthians 1:20 NLT

*May the God of peace make you complete in everything good so that you may do his will, working among us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Hebrews 13:20,21 NLT

Moravian Prayer: Lord, work through us and in us today so we may delight in your way and show this way to others. We wish to bring peace to those around us in need of calm and completeness.

God, you are not a God of vengeance, cruelty, greed, or hate. Why have we not learned this? You call us against the world’s standards to love foolishly in all things. Help us to live your way of love. Amen.