31 Days of December #3 - a guest post: Humility

This guest post made me think and the first photo made me smile. A beautiful start to life together.

My name is Jacob Von Kuhn. I am a newlywed, theological enthusiast, and aspiring ski bum (God willing). Photos from my FB albums.

“I can’t believe it’s not humility.”

With my bride Whitney

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Failure is a part of life. We do it daily, although many of us would cringe at the confession. So then why is failure so difficult for some to handle? On the contrary, why are some more wrecked by failure than others? Pride.

Being married has pointed out a lot of flaws in my life but it has also brought light to dark places I would have never seen before. Humility has always been one of those undistinguishable virtues without constant form or consistent characteristics; once you think you have your head wrapped around it you are too late. I think there are aspects of humility which are hardly discussed from the pulpit of which can lead to be misconstrued and an extremely fragile façade of false humility.

Dependence on friends along the way

“One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.” Proverbs 29:23, ESV

No one ever wants to confront a person on being too hard on themselves. Nor would it seem proper to confront that person about having pride issues. But that is just it; pride is our inability to recognize our absolute dependence on God’s grace and provision.

The irony to humility is the longer we stay knocked down, the more pride we have yet to deal with. We linger on our failure because our pride has been pushed to an unbelievable breaking point and, instead of fighting the giant face to face, we would rather reminisce in our self-inflated pride. Christianity can surely talk the talk, but pride is our biggest obstacle when we go to walk the walk. Instead, we should recognize that we fail because we strive for perfection, because we strive to be like Christ.

Advice from good friends

So next time you receive advice, receive it with joy. Next time you miss the expectations, take heart. If you are offended and feel every right in the world to wallow in your sorrow and self-pity, remember The Cross.

“Count it all joy, my brothers,^b when you meet trials of various kinds, 3for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” 1 James 1:2-4

Over and over

I read an old diary earlier this week. On top of that, I watched our wedding video for the first time in nearly 34 years. 

Wow, we were mere youngsters, married at 20 and 21. What made us think we could start a family and lifetime friendship? I suppose it was expected of us and what we expected, the traditional thing to do in our conservative church. I never even considered other options. We jumped in with both feet!

I looked at our young faces, at the two kids standing at the altar with high hopes and ritual prayers, and pitied them for the trials and challenges that lay ahead. We fought sometimes over silly things and muddled our way through finances, job changes, and building a house. Our kids have been sick, and there have been times we were in a selfish snit and didn't even like each other. Yet God has been faithful! 

We're attending a wedding this weekend. We'll hear the familiar ceremony that has been performed over and over in the last hundred years or so. The bride, having exerted all her creativity and excitement (and having used up a lot of her parents' money), is Princess of the Day. One day. Then she'll wake up the next morning, as will her groom, to someone in the room. This stranger comes home day after day, wants to eat together, and sleep with him or her. For very private individuals, that can be traumatic. They will get to know each other, for better and for worse. God have mercy! (And may they have fun in the process.)

I wouldn't trade my own Prince Charming for anyone else I've met. We've laughed over the years with long-wed friends. We all say the same thing: "When we leave parties and get-togethers, we are SO relieved that we are going home with this special person who belongs with us." Though our relationships continue to evolve, we thank God for his kindness and patience. 

Can't wait to say, "Congratulations, you two!"

Read more:
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24   NIV