Lent Day 30: Cut up your running shoes

We were bemused by the students' Twitter storm last week when we spoke in chapel. "We want to have that kind of a marriage," they tweeted while W and I were preaching together.

Well, you guys, in that case, cut up your running shoes and hunker down for the grit and grace that is marriage. It's a huge effort to earn anything worthwhile in the long run. There are days and months - years even, if you're as stubborn and resistant to change as we've been - when you'll wake up and wonder, "Who is this awful person in my bed?" (and it won't necessarily be your spouse; it may be you.)

Reading the story of Jesus' last weeks among us, I wonder how many times he tied himself to his mission. How many times did he feel like disappearing to where no one knew him? How many times did he long for an escape from the cross? If he was tempted in every way as we are (Hebrews 4:15), he must have thought about alternatives to the hideous death ahead.

I don't know why we have to suffer. I have an ongoing, internal resistance to the idea of suffering. I hate when our kids are ill, when we have a financial crunch, and when friends are in trouble. I hate the beastly takeover of cancer, the violence of robbery and murder, and the neglect of orphans, widows, and the poor.

But suffer we do. My mom used to say, "You look in anyone else's window and you don't want to live there. The cross is shaped for our own backs."

God, whose son Jesus bore all the suffering of the world on the cross of Calvary, allows human life to go on around us. We can identify with his suffering. His gift of free will means people make choices that hurt them and us. We make decisions with terrible consequences for ourselves and others.

Through it all, over and under it all, are everlasting arms of kindness and love. Our debt of sin and our illnesses were carried to the cross. Paid. Done. I've just finished reading Revelation (the last book of the Bible, with it's 101 things that I don't understand). What resonates and what thrill me is this: our great and wonderful God is in control. We do have a vile and vicious enemy. And we will choose whom to serve. The outcome is ours to determine: we gain life for bowing our knee to God and banishment from all that is good if we refuse.

In the end of the Bible, we read how God prepares a city for his people, It is so stunning that it is lit by his glory. The river of life sparkles through it. The leaves on the trees provide medicine and nourishment. Nothing broken comes into the city: all is wholeness, Presence, and well-being. Tears are wiped away and the pain of human existence is only a memory.

How is this possible? It's because Jesus persevered. He stuck it out. Knowing the betrayal of his best friends, he ate with them and washed their feet. He cared for his mother from the cross, choosing a trustworthy friend as her provider. His heart broke with the weight of our sins and suffering - but he willingly agonized to win our freedom and joy.

I don't get God's plan and that's ok. "The servant is not greater than the Master," Jesus warned. "I'm suffering, but you will suffer too." Times will be tough and people will hate and revile us. They may malign and torture us. That's when the cross may hurt our backs.

But I've cut up my running shoes. I'm waiting for the salvation of God. That's what followers of Jesus do. We look to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, for stamina and strength. He said, "Greater things than these will you do," speaking of miracles and overcoming challenges.

Where do you need God's help today? What is weighing you down or hurting you - a person, a circumstance, an illness, a special need?

Every provision has been made to get you through. Take off those sneakers, stand your ground, and call on the name of the Lord. The host of heaven will surround you. God's wisdom and mercy will make a way where there is no [human] way. Thanks be to God.

Read more:
 *Israel, you are my servant, I have chosen you and not cast you off. Isaiah 41:9 ESV

*Rejoice with Jerusalem, and be glad for her, all you who love her! Rejoice with her in joy, all you who mourn over her. Isaiah 66:10 ESV

*You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last. John 15:16 ESV

*Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! "Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them?" For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen. Romans 11:33-36 NIV

*Paul wrote: I thank my God every time I remember you, constantly praying with joy in every one of my prayers for all of you. Philippians 1:3-4 ESV

Moravian Church: Ever-living God, it is so easy for us to say that we chose you. Forgive us, for we know that you chose us for a purpose—to bring the love of God in Christ Jesus to all we meet. May our endeavors be pleasing in your sight.

God, we thank you for the joy you bring into our lives. May we, like Paul, rejoice always in all circumstances and in all things. May our joy be a reflection to others of our love toward you. Amen.

Lent Day 11: Best friends

What a happy day! Brides post their wedding pictures on FB after celebrating a princess day. Guys are usually slower to admit they had a great day; their friends also don't tag as many pictures. But you can see the expectation on the couple's faces. They have married their best friend and hope every day is as happy as their first together as wife and husband.

I have single friends who live with their good friends. When one or more of the gals (or guys) finds a mate or moves away, the person/s reconfigure their lives and living space. It's a mobile and shifting world out there for singles. But some remain best friends with former roommates, colleagues, and childhood acquaintances, through thick and thin.

Pastor Don Ross (Creekside Church, Shoreline) talked this weekend about the traits of good friends. (Well worth a listen: click here in a few days.) He said these three things - when reciprocated between friends - were good indicators of the quality of friendship:

1. Friends are consistent and dependable. 
2. They're honest and trustworthy.
3. They are willing to tell the whole truth, even if that may hurt their friendship ... because they care enough to tell the "last 10%" of difficult truth toward the maturity and wholeness of their friend.

I thought about the people I value most as friends. Even if I shock them with ideas or plans, they give me good feedback. They like me enough to be unwilling for me to move ahead without thinking things through. They bolster me because they know my gifts. They walk alongside to question me and cheer me on. I do the same for them, though it's not always easy.

The most challenging friendship-relationship may be with those closest to you. How about your spouse, the person who never leaves? S/he moves into your bedroom and becomes a neat freak so you have to clean up ... or is a total clutter-bug who messes up your space. You share the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living space with his or her expectations, hauled into your home from their past. Even after decades, s/he surprises you with good and awful truths about her/himself and you.

Sometimes we struggle emotionally when dealing with elderly friends or parents who need our care. Medication and aging may redefine their personalities and bring out the best (or the worst) in them. Are we still loving and kind? Good friends?

How do we negotiate the variety of friendships we encounter?

Our best friend - Jesus - is consistent, honest, and has our best interests at heart. That security helps us accept friendship, given, received, and shared.

Jesus' inner circle included those who knew who he was. And it included the man who betrayed him to his enemies. Jesus' extended circle of male and female friends benefited from his wisdom and insight. These people cried at his awful death. Rejoiced at his supernatural resurrection. He was a true friend to them all, offering grace, second chances, and his loving kindness without reservation.

I'd love to be that kind of person to my friends. Many of them are that to me. Thank you, friends!

Read more:
*The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? Psalm 27:1

*And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness. The unclean will not journey on it; it will be for those who walk in that Way; wicked fools will not go about on it. No lion will be there, nor will any ferocious beast get up on it; they will not be found there. But only the redeemed will walk there, and the ransomed of the Lord will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away. Isaiah 35:8-10 NIV

*He guarded his people as the apple of his eye. Deuteronomy 32:10

*Christ says, "You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit.” John 15:16

Moravian Prayer: Why did you choose us, O Lord? What can we possibly do for you? Show us the place you have for us in your church, so we can together bear much good fruit to your glory. Amen.

Difficult words, on choosing what is right

Sometimes we have to say things we don't want to say. Occasionally, our conviction as believers goes against every politically correct assumption. I had to make an un-PC statement today and it wasn't easy or fun.

I'm not an American citizen so it's somewhat puzzling to me how the government promotes changing morality and values. At issue today is the issue of homosexuality sanctioned as holy matrimony. With enough lobbying and enough ads, it seems even Christians believe that people living in opposition to God's partnership of man and wife should be allowed the benefits of "what God joins together."

Who established the institution of marriage? If we believe it was God, who had human interests and his own nature in mind, how can we meddle with the definition of marriage as he established it? He put together one man and one woman, noting they'd leave their parents and cleave to each other. There's never a hint in scripture that male-male relationships or female-female relationships should have the same bond and intimacy. In fact, in the larger scope of relationships, such behavior seems to be a punishment for forsaking God's laws (Romans 1-2), hurting those who indulge in it as well as those who sanction it.

Studies show that those abused in childhood are more likely than others to choose such a harmful lifestyle and other deviant behaviors. Random sampling studies show how children without father-mother role models struggle to learn various normal social interactions, in contrast to selective population studies done by pro-gay groups that show no difference. Yet anyone who dares to publish a study to contradict gay-rights activists is tarred and feathered socially and academically.

So I have to say I'm saddened and a bit sickened as I write this blog. I'm tempted and broken in other areas. I have to continue to seek God's forgiveness and help for my own sins. Some of my friends struggle with sexual temptation in various areas. I don't condone their behavior, nor would they condone mine when I would choose to sin in my own areaa of brokenness.

How I wish society hadn't morphed toward accepting deviant behaviors in this area and others. A generation ago, believers would have been appalled by any idea of their neighbors (never mind they themselves) voting to legalize homosexual relationships through holy matrimony. In this generation, after all the promotions, ads, and false claims of "healthy relationships," from what I'm reading on FB, many of my Christian friends are supporting the Washington bill to give gay couples the right to marry.

It's extremely unpopular to say that God judges the wicked. But it's certainly biblical to say that he withholds his protection from them and nations that support wickedness. May God have mercy on our souls and on the nation. He who made us knows that we are dust and that we need him to live life well each day.

Read more:
*What are human beings that you are mindful of them, mortals that you care for them? Psalm 8:4

*He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Blessed is the man who always fears the Lord, but he who hardens his heart falls into trouble. Proverbs 28:13-14 NIV

*Though the wicked hide along the way to kill me, I will quietly keep my mind on your laws." Psalm 119:95

*God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Moravian Prayer: Father, you give us so much more than we deserve. Show us the way to live like you; to give to others more than we think they deserve and more than we think we can afford. Amen.

Lent Day 29: Thankful for relatives

Jesus had parents, siblings, aunts - and lots of friends and acquaintances. We don't know exactly how big Nazareth was, but it's a fair guess that most people in town knew each other. They would have known family histories, silly games of childhood, and all the strengths and weaknesses of their neighbors.

With many people choosing not to endure the hard work of marriage or fleeing dangerous situations, we have a self-spawning culture of combinations and re-combinations called blended families.

I just heard that two of our acquaintances are splitting up as a couple. Nah, we don't know the whole story, but from what we've observed, a big part of it is a lack of maturity, forgiveness, and grace. They've had a rocky road off and on and one of them is fed up. Calling it quits. Unwilling to work any more at what has been a steep climb. Supposedly, they still "love each other." Whatever.

I look into another life window, where a friend's spouse is at death's door, the victim of cancer. They won't have the lifelong connections in common as one leaves the other behind. They had no choice and when they are parted, it will take time for the grieving partner to find a new normal.

One of the gifts of a long marriage, no matter how much work or stressful some years have been, is the mutual memory bank. W and I love each other more now than in the beginning (and than we did in parts of the middle!) We have many friends in common; he tells me about colleagues at work or church. I update him on FB friends and people who grew up with us in the church's youth group. You don't get those kind of memories or proven marriage benefits by running away to "find yourself" elsewhere.

I'm grateful for my folks. They've stayed married for nearly 60 years, through thick and thin: poverty and wealth; challenges with their parents and children; exciting adventures and boring chores. We've been married 34 years. Our kids have begun their marriages with a strong commitment to their spouses, too.

It's not easy to stay married without the social and religious pressure to keep a covenant in good and bad times. Among my first cousins, 6 of 24 have experienced divorce or abandonment. W and I also might not have made it through some very tough seasons without both of us honoring our covenant before God and buckling down to family expectations.

Today I'm thankful for all the aunts and uncles, the cousins, nieces and nephews, and other family members who have stuck it out. The extended web of friendships and trust remind us of God's faithfulness and the importance of self-discipline and perseverance. Life is not always easy, but it is worth doing with all our hearts and strength.

Loving others is second only to loving God, according to Jesus. And you do that by changing yourself (since you can't change others.)

The fact that my husband turned out to be my Prince Charming is an unexpected bonus.

Read more:

*Praise him, sun and moon; praise him, all you shining stars! For he commanded, and they were created. Psalm 148:3,5

*Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27 NIV

*You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created. Revelation 4:11

Moravian Prayer: We offer thanks to you, Creator God, for all good gifts - the seasons of the year and of the spirit, and the experiences of joy, pleasure and gladness. We offer thanks also for the sorrow and grief and solitudes of life and for the strength through which we are able to meet them. We pray for those who work hard to preserve relationships and we commit ourselves to work with them this day. Amen. 

Over and over

I read an old diary earlier this week. On top of that, I watched our wedding video for the first time in nearly 34 years. 

Wow, we were mere youngsters, married at 20 and 21. What made us think we could start a family and lifetime friendship? I suppose it was expected of us and what we expected, the traditional thing to do in our conservative church. I never even considered other options. We jumped in with both feet!

I looked at our young faces, at the two kids standing at the altar with high hopes and ritual prayers, and pitied them for the trials and challenges that lay ahead. We fought sometimes over silly things and muddled our way through finances, job changes, and building a house. Our kids have been sick, and there have been times we were in a selfish snit and didn't even like each other. Yet God has been faithful! 

We're attending a wedding this weekend. We'll hear the familiar ceremony that has been performed over and over in the last hundred years or so. The bride, having exerted all her creativity and excitement (and having used up a lot of her parents' money), is Princess of the Day. One day. Then she'll wake up the next morning, as will her groom, to someone in the room. This stranger comes home day after day, wants to eat together, and sleep with him or her. For very private individuals, that can be traumatic. They will get to know each other, for better and for worse. God have mercy! (And may they have fun in the process.)

I wouldn't trade my own Prince Charming for anyone else I've met. We've laughed over the years with long-wed friends. We all say the same thing: "When we leave parties and get-togethers, we are SO relieved that we are going home with this special person who belongs with us." Though our relationships continue to evolve, we thank God for his kindness and patience. 

Can't wait to say, "Congratulations, you two!"

Read more:
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24   NIV