Lent Day 11: Best friends

This repost reminds me of one of my core values: trustworthy friends. Is that important to you as well? How do you make and keep friends?
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What a happy day! Brides post their wedding pictures on FB after celebrating a princess day. Guys are usually slower to admit they had a great day; their friends also don't tag as many pictures. But you can see the expectation on the couple's faces. They have married their best friend and hope every day is as happy as their first together as wife and husband.

I have single friends who live with their good friends. When one or more of the gals (or guys) finds a mate or moves away, the person/s reconfigure their lives and living space. It's a mobile and shifting world out there for singles. But some remain best friends with former roommates, colleagues, and childhood acquaintances, through thick and thin.

Pastor Don Ross (Creekside Church, Shoreline) talked this weekend about the traits of good friends. (Well worth a listen: click here in a few days.) He said these three things - when reciprocated between friends - were good indicators of the quality of friendship:

1. Friends are consistent and dependable. 
2. They're honest and trustworthy.
3. They are willing to tell the whole truth, even if that may hurt their friendship ... because they care enough to tell the "last 10%" of difficult truth toward the maturity and wholeness of their friend.

I thought about the people I value most as friends. Even if I shock them with ideas or plans, they give me good feedback. They like me enough to be unwilling for me to move ahead without thinking things through. They bolster me because they know my gifts. They walk alongside to question me and cheer me on. I do the same for them, though it's not always easy.

The most challenging friendship-relationship may be with those closest to you. How about your spouse, the person who never leaves? S/he moves into your bedroom and becomes a neat freak so you have to clean up ... or is a total clutter-bug who messes up your space. You share the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living space with his or her expectations, hauled into your home from their past. Even after decades, s/he surprises you with good and awful truths about her/himself and you.

Sometimes we struggle emotionally when dealing with elderly friends or parents who need our care. Medication and aging may redefine their personalities and bring out the best (or the worst) in them. Are we still loving and kind? Good friends? 

How do we negotiate the variety of friendships we encounter? 

Our best friend - Jesus - is consistent, honest, and has our best interests at heart. That security helps us accept friendship, given, received, and shared.

Jesus' inner circle included those who knew who he was. And it included the man who betrayed him to his enemies. Jesus' extended circle of male and female friends benefited from his wisdom and insight. These people cried at his awful death. Rejoiced at his supernatural resurrection. He was a true friend to them all, offering grace, second chances, and his loving kindness without reservation.

I'd love to be that kind of person to my friends. Many of them are that to me. Thank you, friends!

Read more:
*The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? Psalm 27:1 ESV

*And a highway will be there; it will be called the Way of Holiness. The unclean will not journey on it; it will be for those who walk in that Way; wicked fools will not go about on it. No lion will be there, nor will any ferocious beast get up on it; they will not be found there. But only the redeemed will walk there, and the ransomed of the Lord will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away. Isaiah 35:8-10 NIV

*He guarded his people as the apple of his eye. Deuteronomy 32:10 ESV

*Christ says, "You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit.” John 15:16 ESV

Moravian Prayer: Why did you choose us, O Lord? What can we possibly do for you? Show us the place you have for us in your church, so we can together bear much good fruit to your glory. Amen.

Singapore Day 8: Wedding day, Chinatown, and baby chopsticks

W takes his class out for roti prata (see Day 1 for the menu), his traditional last-day gift to them. I join them. They want to hear how we met and fell in love. They're very complimentary about the Systematic Theology class: W loves to teach and has no trouble communicating across culture.

Then it's back to the office to work. Finally, my teaching material and handouts are sorted and ready for Tuesday's class. Kirsten comes tonight night (1:30am) so the flat will start to fill up with our kids. The other two (Jeremy and his wife Rebekah) arrives Tuesday.

Two former ATC students are getting married at 11am. Guests are pouring into the building when we return from our late breakfast. I decide to duck into the service to see a Singaporean Christian wedding. Strings of hearts hang above the escalator, and the stage is simply decorated with two tall bar tables wrapped in fabric.

Two members of the worship team warm up the crowd in Singlish and Mandarin. The groom walks down the aisle alone at 11:15. The keyboardist plays as the attendants come in: two little girls lead the procession.

Finally, everyone stands as the bride is announced, walking slowly down the long aisle on the arm of her father. People clap, cheer her on, and stand until she's at the front and has been handed off to the groom.

The young couple sits in the front row during a 15 minute worship set. The PPT is in English and Mandarin, and verses are sung alternately in both languages.

Pastor Joseph (who preached Sunday) tells how Hans and Jan met in class. They told him exactly the same thing had attracted them to each other: a love for God and his mission, and a passion to serve children. The bride worked with Joseph in planting churches in Fiji - she leads worship, works with children, and is a vibrant minister. The groom likewise loves children's work.

After a half-hour message, given in English and interpreted into Mandarin, the couple steps onto the stage to exchange vows and rings. He kisses her, someone sings, and the crowd cheers.

There's a banquet set up in the parking garage under the building. White plastic chairs line a huge circumference around the buffet of hot dishes, desserts, and decor in the enter. There must be several hundred guests. Many are children and teens. It's noisy, friendly, and festive.

Looking through images online, I find my sister: doesn't this gal look like me? (She's prettier, but still... at some S'pore gala last year.)

At 3pm, W and I take the #12 bus to Chinatown. It takes an hour and twenty minutes to wind through the neighborhoods. We're both dehydrated and hungry, so we stop at the first place that looks decent. It's in the basement of a huge complex. The air-con is so high that our spicy hot bowl of noodles tastes just right. Mine is curried with egg, jalapenos, tiny tofu cubes, and cilantro. W's is hotter still, a red broth with thin noodles and an assortment of meats. I order a lemon grass drink that's perfumed like jasmine and rose water. Refreshing, and yummy.

We browse through the little streets of Chinatown to see what's new. Honestly, not much has changed. There are hundreds of vendors with assortments of Chinese lanterns, chochkes, souvenirs, kids' clothes with lots of embellishments, bracelets, lucky charms, and just plain junk. It's good fun. We pick up "Angry Bird" baby chopsticks for Kinsey (granddaughter) to play with.

We watch in astonishment at the square full of people who've paid their $3 to do Texas line dancing in the Chinatown Plaza. Some wear cowboy hats, some have boots and swinging skirts. They're all ages. Some 70-year-olds have the moves and shimmeys down cold. Other Western tourists stop and can't believe their eyes, just like us. (Videos, click here and here.)

We decide to take the MRT home. On two trains and a mile+ walk, it takes us 1:10. Bit faster. Better exercise, but less scenery. The humidity is 80% and the temperature is 31oC (88oF). Not bad. There's a gathering of Muslim men under one complex. The women sit on a rug off to the side. It's not mosque day but there are dozens gathered. We are traveling at a good clip as we angle through the apartments toward our own, and they hardly pause to glance up.

When we get home, we flip the air-con on to 27oC (80oF) and it feels utterly cool. W will get a cat-nap and then head to the airport after midnight to pick up Kirsten. Can't wait to see her.

Read more:
*I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. Job 42:2 NLT

*When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way. Psalm 142:3 NIV

*Jesus said, “So make up your minds not to prepare your defense in advance; for I will give you words and a wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to withstand or contradict.” Luke 21:14-15 NLT

*Jesus replied, “What is impossible for mortals is possible for God.” Luke 18:27 NLT

Moravian Prayer: Almighty God, all things are possible through you. When we feel afraid, help us to remember your greatness and your goodness with wonder, love, and praise.

Steadfast God, we count on you to give us words and actions that nurture, heal, and serve. Watch over us and grant us strength and goodness. Amen.

Green green grass of home

Today it's suddenly summer. Ok, I'll grant you, yesterday wasn't too bad in the afternoon and evening. Because of the wet, cool year, the garden courtyard is green. The ornamental grasses are lush and tall.

My college roommate Bonnie gave me two ferns from her daughter's wedding in May. They couldn't take them back across the border to Canada where Bonnie lives. I hung the plants on the posts of our front entry.

A few weeks after the wedding, I heard a loud "chit-chit-chit" as I went out the front door. A little sparrow hopped up and down on the trellis of the courtyard, scolding me and trying to draw me away. The next time I pulled down the ferns to fertilize and water them, I couldn't believe my eyes! Three little birds, newly hatched, lay nested in one of the ferns. After the chicks disappeared, one egg remained unhatched in the abandoned nest.

I left the nest for a few weeks. It lay clean and tidy, not full of bird waste like usual after raising chicks. I tipped the sole egg out today and teased the circle of twigs from the fern to bring it inside the house as part of a floral arrangement. Thank you, Sparrow!

The ferns have spread and grown in the past few months, along with the grasses in the pots on the steps. I'll hang the ferns in the conservatory when autumn comes and the grass dies back.

Each time I pass by, I pause to pray for Starla and Jose, now living in Venezuela. Blessings on you two, and may the garden of your marriage grow and thrive! 

Read more:

*How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Psalm 84:1-2 NIV

*(Jesus) "Come unto me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

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I heard the voice of Jesus say, “Come unto Me and rest;

Lay down, thou weary one, lay down Thy head upon My breast.”
I came to Jesus as I was, weary and worn and sad;
I found in Him a resting place, and He has made me glad.   

I heard the voice of Jesus say, “Behold, I freely give

The living water; thirsty one, stoop down, and drink, and live.”
I came to Jesus, and I drank of that life giving stream;
My thirst was quenched, my soul revived, and now I live in Him.    

I heard the voice of Jesus say, “I am this dark world’s Light;

Look unto Me, thy morn shall rise, and all thy day be bright.”
I looked to Jesus, and I found in Him my Star, my Sun;
And in that light of life I’ll walk, till traveling days are done. 

  -Horatius Bonar 1846

Over and over

I read an old diary earlier this week. On top of that, I watched our wedding video for the first time in nearly 34 years. 

Wow, we were mere youngsters, married at 20 and 21. What made us think we could start a family and lifetime friendship? I suppose it was expected of us and what we expected, the traditional thing to do in our conservative church. I never even considered other options. We jumped in with both feet!

I looked at our young faces, at the two kids standing at the altar with high hopes and ritual prayers, and pitied them for the trials and challenges that lay ahead. We fought sometimes over silly things and muddled our way through finances, job changes, and building a house. Our kids have been sick, and there have been times we were in a selfish snit and didn't even like each other. Yet God has been faithful! 

We're attending a wedding this weekend. We'll hear the familiar ceremony that has been performed over and over in the last hundred years or so. The bride, having exerted all her creativity and excitement (and having used up a lot of her parents' money), is Princess of the Day. One day. Then she'll wake up the next morning, as will her groom, to someone in the room. This stranger comes home day after day, wants to eat together, and sleep with him or her. For very private individuals, that can be traumatic. They will get to know each other, for better and for worse. God have mercy! (And may they have fun in the process.)

I wouldn't trade my own Prince Charming for anyone else I've met. We've laughed over the years with long-wed friends. We all say the same thing: "When we leave parties and get-togethers, we are SO relieved that we are going home with this special person who belongs with us." Though our relationships continue to evolve, we thank God for his kindness and patience. 

Can't wait to say, "Congratulations, you two!"

Read more:
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24   NIV