Squinting through the details

"What would I do without Mom?" I keep thinking. My fridge is clean, the indoor plants are trimmed, and the conservatory sparkles. W's gone to a computer convention, so my mother came to help for the week.

By the time we have our morning walk and a light breakfast, it's 10am. It takes me a while to settle into studies. Sometimes my brain doesn't cooperate for an hour after I plunk myself on the office chair. The dogs keep me from freezing to the seat during the day: they want to get up every hour or two, which helps move me from the spot.

I skipped my walk this morning, though Mom has taken her walking sticks and headed out the door. It's 10am. Kirsten had a rough night: the memory foam mattress grabbed her, sank her into its trough, and held her until her neck and back seized up. Mom and I wrestled the padding, mattress, egg crate foam, and sheets off the base of the bed.

Up. Down. Up. Down. Kirsten tries out our experiments for comfort. A 5" thick, firm foam pad from atop the entry closet seems to be the ticket. Covered with an IKEA (folding bed) foam mattress, a doubled feather quilt, and bedding (with a medium-sized towel folded "just so" at the crease in the IKEA mattress), and a just-the-right-height-folded-body-pillow to extend the foot end, Kirsten is resting. "I hate feeling like the Princess and the Pea," she sighs and tries to get a snooze to make up for a sleepless night. "What Prince could want such a person?" We laugh and remind her that the prince of the fairytale actually sought out his princess.

It's a big day: Kirsten plans to go out for lunch and shopping with her s-i-l Melissa. The wheelchair's ready to glide down the ramp, built from the door to the ground (yay, W!) The women will take our SUV, and if her morning nap helps, K will have a fine day out. Grandma asked to watch Kinsey.Oh, that child is in for a treat!

Between all the chaos and changes in the household, I sent off a tutorial last night and am almost done with an article this morning. I'm planning to pack up and head for the library when Mom returns from her walk. "Focus, just focus," I remind myself. (Yeah, and while you do that, remember the girls will have the car. You're not going anywhere.)

This morning's turmoil proves again how life is neither straightforward nor neat. Though the goal may be clear, the journey defies definition.

God's Word is a light on our path, says Psalm 119. However, it's a torch for the next place to plant our feet on a steep hill climb, not a searchlight on a broad flat road. How does scripture inform your steps today?

Read more:

*“Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:6-9 NIV

* Psalm 9:1-10; Genesis 12:10-13:18; Matthew 5:27-42

*The Lord said to Gideon, "Peace be to you; do not fear, you shall not die." Then Gideon built an altar there to the Lord, and called it, The Lord is peace. Judges 6:23-24

*Christ says, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 (NIV)

Moravian Prayer: Faithful God, we depend on your promises. When we open our eyes in the morning, we look for you throughout the day. When we close our eyes in the evening, we trust in you while we sleep. Amen.

Another day, another nail-biter

Word upon word, this dissertation is coming together. I sit down to write late last night, with the day still swirling around in my head.


Last Sunday, our house rings with laughter and company (20 for lunch). W and I do marriage counseling with a young couple in the evening. When we're done, my "day off" is over. We're ready for a good night's sleep. Except that I wake full of buzz and viniger at 3am. Between trying to lie still for 3 hours but "I don't feel tired," the shower running in the bathroom next door, and W getting ready for his trip, I fall back asleep at 7:15. The alarm (Bible read aloud) goes off at 7:45 so I enjoy 15 minutes of meditation, listening.

W chose to go to a conference this week, so my mom ("Grandma" to the kids) is here helping with Kirsten. She warned us, that at 76, she'll be resting rather than cleaning. "Fine, Mom," we said. "Good for you, Grandma." (Doubtfully.) That's great. If Mom's relaxing, I won't have to answer questions about what's where, so I can focus on studies. I don't have time to visit, that's for sure. I'm beyond past crunch time on this hideous dissertation. Time is running out.

Mom and I start the day with a walk. "I hate this hill," she said. I agree. I'd never take myself for a walk if I didn't have dogs. We live two blocks from the almost-top-of-the-mtn. ... after you climb our steep driveway to the street. Once you're at the top, it's easy, rolling swells. "What shall we have for supper tonight?" Mom asks. I snag some chicken from the freezer and start it thawing.

While I get in the tub with papers to edit, Mom "rests." Sort of. Not really. She takes everything out of the fridge and cleans it top to bottom. After noon, I hear a knock knock on the door... "Want to have lunch with us?"

Sure. I dress, things are not quite ready ("Wow, that was quick," says Mom when I come into the kitchen.) 15 minutes later, I eat with Kirsten and Mom. When I splash back down in the tub, adding hot water to make it bearable, an hour's gone.  I zone in until 4pm to get through the paper. I begin editing at the keyboard, inserting changes.

"Need some help?" I ask about 4:30. I'm feeling guilty about not helping Mom cook. But she has everything under control. Carrots are cut and soaking, spaetzle dough is whipped up, the chicken is breaded.

Meanwhile, Jonathan and two friends are baking chocolate chip p-b cookies. "I'm waiting for them to leave the kitchen," Mom said. "But everything's ready." We stand around, they decide to stay for supper, and I get back to my work for 10 minutes.

Ding-dong! it's the front door, with a couple and their babe in arms. The dogs yell and run for the door, beserk at the new arrivals. Their barking wakes the baby. "Darn," says the mother. "I was hoping she'd sleep."

After 6, we eight sit down to a wonderful German meal. "I'm not cleaning up, you guys!" Grandma announces. But she gets up and calls the boys to help clear the table. I stay in the kitchen for cleanup afterwards, trying to shoo Mom away. One of Jono's friends washes the last dishes. By the time Mom and I empty the dishwasher and get everything back to normal, it's after 8pm. Another day. Gone. Oh well, study time? That's what evenings are for.

Hey, what's this? The footnotes have strange double quotes and there are formatting conflicts between journal and magazine styles... oh my. 700+ footnotes to look through? I send a quick "HELP!" to the editor, who says, "I can fix it in a hurry; send it my way!" Gratefully, I shove it off my desk onto hers. After 10pm, my brain, eyes, and fingers disconnect so I give up.

My fingers feel taut when I get to bed. What?! I bit all my nails off while editing. Ugh. Good thing they grow quickly. I need to get to work. to work. to work. Lord have mercy.

Read more:

*One day Moses said to the LORD, 'You have been telling me, "Take these people up to the Promised Land." But you haven't told me whom you will send with me. You have told me, "I know you by name, and I look favorably on you." If it is true that you look favorably on me, let me know your ways so I may understand you more fully and continue to enjoy your favor. And remember that this nation is your very own people.'

The LORD replied, 'I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest—everything will be fine for you.' Exodus 33:12–14 NLT

*Psalm 7:10-17; Genesis 10:1-11:9; Matthew 5:1-16

*Rend your hearts and not your clothing. Return to the Lord, your God. Joel 2:13

*Jesus said, "The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near; repent, and believe in the good news." Mark 1:15

Moravian Prayer: Forgive us, our Redeemer, when we take on a show of piety but not a heart of piety. Create in us a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within us. Restore to us the joy of salvation. Amen.

Who's coming over today, Mom?

I grew up with people coming over. Eating together. Sleeping in freshly laundered beds. It was called home hospitality, and it was integral to our lives as a family.

Usually we had breakfast together, depending on who was up or leaving at the same time. Dad got up early, and before he left the house, would read the Bible, kneel and pray. Whoever was in the kitchen sat down to listen to his speed-reading and prayed a prayer after his. We liked Dad's devotions: he was quick, to the point, and rarely commented beyond the occasional, "hmm" as he was putting the Bible back in the drawer.

Lunch and supper often included guests, especially on Sundays. Mom, a great cook and baker, and a gracious hostess, invited people, talking in the church foyer. She called them in advance if it was going to be a production.

The house was always neat, thanks to German values of tidiness and CLEANliness. You couldn't just pick up things and put them away. Mom's floors were washed or vacuumed at least weekly, the surfaces dusted, and the kitchen spotless down to the chair legs. No matter who dropped by, Mom warmly welcomed them inside, serving coffee and cake or cookies between meals. Or she'd say, "Can you stay for supper? We would love your company."

Mom and Dad admit they influenced more people around the table than in various boardrooms. We children learned to be comfortable with men, women, and children. With the poor, the influencers, the wealthy, strangers, and relatives. That egalitarianism was one of their biggest gifts, bringing confidence to us siblings: we're equally at ease with presidents, ministers, academics, laborers,  and the homeless.

To this day, our view of "everyone is someone" can get us in trouble with the haughty, those who expect people's adulation because of a job title or past accomplishments. (Actually, we are proud of those who earn titles and positions. Good for you! We admire ambition and hard work, used for God's glory.) We shrug off the "rude in authority," with a, "Yeah, we respect you, just like everyone else."

People deserve human not god-like relationships, regardless of their position." My respect plunges toward those in power who disrespect their subordinates or humiliate the powerless with "humorous" or cutting remarks. Jesus rebuked those who put others down, and brought into his own circle those others looked down on. Scripture forbids us to be intimidated by others (see verses below). Enough said.

Because my parents' house was guest-ready, missionaries, relatives, and friends who came through town often stayed with us. When they left, Mom stripped the beds, cleaned the rooms, and restored order; soon she was set for the next person or group. (She's still doing that in her 70s! Company still shows up for meals and sleepovers.)

Hospitality is both a gift and an education. By the time I married, I knew how to run a home with people coming and going. My parents gave me 12 place settings of china, monogrammed servingware, and tablecloths. We invited college peers to our crummy little apartment, eating off paper plates or Royal Doulton, depending on the mood or time for prep.

Over the next few years, I expanded my cooking and baking skills. I cooked my first turkey dinner for a 12 member pastoral staff. "If anyone has to forgive what I am about to do to this bird, Lord, it will be them."

It turned out just fine, thanks to a few calls to my mom, "How do I cook a turkey, Mom? Oh, I have to start thawing today? But lunch isn't until Tuesday!" My mother = hostess lifesaver.

I'm considering hosting a hospitality class when my dissertation is over. Oodles of our acquaintances and friends don't have people over because they don't know how. They've never hosted a Christmas dinner or a Saturday brunch. They'd be terrified to have an out-of-town family drop by their front door for a meal and warm bed. They might not even be comfortable going to someone else's house.

Let me know if you're a gal or guy who'd be interested in attending 3-4 sessions of hostess training (hands-on training where you eat the rewards). Some of our friends are amazing hosts and would be great guest-teachers. We'd cover food costs and collect a donation from each person for a charity that distributes food. You'd learn how to present an easy-to-prepare meal and leave with great ideas for making people welcome in your home. (How about just before summer or in the fall?)

Read more:

*Psalm 147:7-14; Zechariah 6,7; Revelation 19:1-8

*You must not be partial in judging: hear out the small and the great alike; you shall not be intimidated by anyone, for the judgment is God's. Deuteronomy 1:17

*Give freely and become more wealthy; be stingy and lose everything. The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. People curse those who hoard their grain, but they bless the one who sells in time of need. Proverbs 11:24–26 NLT

*Jesus took a little child and put it among them; and taking it in his arms, he said to them, "Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me." Mark 9:36-37

Moravian Prayer: Holy One, may we see your face in every stranger. Holding true that we are all created in your image, may we closely embrace each other despite our differences. Amen.

Light shining on furniture and me

This time the upstairs is on the move. My mom is coming to take care of Kirsten next week while W travels. The bed in the guestroom was a fold-down futon/couch under a twin bunk. The mattress on the twin is fabulous, a like-new pillow-top we bought for Kirsten before she moved. Maybe one or two guests have slept on it since.

A friend offered the loan of a hospital bed with moving head and foot for Kirsten. We gratefully accepted. So the bed she's been using downstairs moves upstairs. My house to-do list this weekend:

• Empty and sell 10 gal. aquarium (sitting mostly empty on the table where W moved it when he redid my office floors in October. Sigh.) 
• Clean and clear guestroom. 
• Put papers from desk into files (five stacks of tutorials and articles; thousands of pages... oh what a lively fire that will make some day)
• Replace glass topper on desk (leaning against the hall wall since October. Sigh.)
• Disassemble bunk and move downstairs (W's help; the bunk sold on CL so someone picks it up tomorrow.) 
• Wash K's and guest bedding.
• Vacuum K's and guest mattresses.
• Move K's bed upstairs. Redo bedding.
• Move the new bed in (W). Redo bedding.
• ETC. (Our Sunday School class comes over Sunday for lunch. Yeah, I know. You don't have to tell me.)

It's orthodox Epiphany week. I'm encouraged by thinking of the Light of the World shining into our moves, our changes, our confusion, and bringing peace. Even in the mundane must-dos, we can meditate on God and all his wonderful works.

What's in process for you, for which you need God's light and life?

Read more:
*Epiphany of the Lord - Isaiah 60:1-6; Psalm 72:1-7,10-14; Ephesians 3:1-12; Matthew 2:1-12

*Watchword for the Epiphany - Arise, shine; for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. Isaiah 60:1

* Psalm 5; Genesis 6:1-7:10; Matthew 3

*I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart. Psalm 40:8

*Christ says, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." John 14:15

Moravian Prayer: You are the light of the world. You are the light of our souls. Create in us a desire to do your will. Enable us to love you through our obedience. Let your light shine through us. Amen.

"Who do you want to be?" she asked.

An interesting video clip from Indonesia shows a little jawfish camouflaging himself by mimicking an octopus. The strange thing is that that particular kind of octopus often imitates a fish.

We spend a lot of time trying to be someone else. If we inventoried our lives, the things we've seen, where we've traveled or grown up, who raised us, and our education (at school or on the job) in a neutral checklist, other people would affirm that each of us has a lot to offer.

Some of us work well with our hands and can repair almost anything. One of the missionary husbands in my study was renowned in Africa: the first update noted he'd taken apart an engine to the missionary vehicle, sent for parts, and put it back together, to the relief of everyone at that mission station.

Some of us remember facts or numbers. My husband and son pack their brains with obscure information and can recall it. (When I pack mine, info falls out as I walk up the driveway and the wind blows it away.) I know several academic geniuses who have entire libraries at their beck and call... in their heads.

Some of us recreate God's beauty in art, music, words, and buildings. We live in a swirl of creativity, and ever-changing flourish of show-and-tell. Casey Klahn at The Colorist is one such creator. I always learn something new about seeing and being seen, looking at and reading his blog.

If I had a flat tire, I'd want AAA, not someone writing papers to secure tenure at a university. For my dissertation, I need academic advice, not a beautiful oil painting. To frame a picture, I need an artist's eye, not a house framer. Mind you, not all of those skills are exclusive: some people can "do it all." God said he would gift some with many talents, but they would be accountable for them all, too.

So often we look at others and wish we were like them. Prettier. Smarter. More skillful. But God said our only job -- single or married, rich or poor, parent or child, "red and yellow, black and white" (yeah that S. School song is politically incorrect, but notice the "white" is last and more correctly "pink" among the songwriter's limited crayons) -- is to conform to "the image of his Son."

I don't think God cares much whom we marry or if we stay unmarried. He probably doesn't lose sleep if we take a job at Sears or Microsoft or farm our grandfather's acreage. As we constantly align ourselves with him, we begin to take on characteristics that identify us as his children, and that pleases him.

It would be fun to make a checklist of all we are and where we've been:

• Family/background
• Friends, since childhood
• Influencers and mentors
• Education and training
• Jobs
• Churches we've attended or where we've had membership
• Small groups (work, church, community)
• Volunteer ops
• Things we tried that failed
• Things we tried that flew
• Things that we took over from someone else
• Things others took over from us
• Etc.

Our lives are full and rich, whoever we are. Let's devote this one life, each of us, to the Father of lights, in whom there is no shadow of turning. The only other choice is to let the-one-who-destroys bring "wonderful us" to ruin.

Read more:

*The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.

Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. Psalm 27:1-5 NIV

* Psalm 4; Genesis 5; Matthew 2:13-23

*With many dreams come vanities and a multitude of words; but fear God. Ecclesiastes 5:7

Lord, who will not fear and glorify your name? For you alone are holy. Revelation 15:4

Moravian Prayer: God, the world is so enticing to us - we want to taste everything. Our minds are cluttered with desire. You alone are worthy of our desire and worship. Today we devote ourselves wholly to you. Amen.

Lost worlds discovered

The news headlines today highlighted the excitement of scientists exploring Antarctica and Mars. A "lost world" of crabs, octopi, and starfish live near geothermal vents near the South Pole. There's not just one or two animals, either. There are "massive colonies" that have eluded discovery until now. Researchers are beside themselves with enthusiasm to know more.

Meanwhile, on Mars, Canadian and American technology is roaming the planet to analyze soil and make discoveries about our neighbor in the sky.

We're created to look for things, to examine and seek out the things God has hidden. With what enthusiasm humans build entire careers around theories and explorations. "It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter," says Proverbs 25:2

The cool thing is that God is searching for us as well. Jesus told the story of a sheep that was lost, and the shepherd who roamed the hills until he found it. If you're feeling lost today, listen for the Shepherd's voice. Just like the scientists who are overjoyed by their discoveries, all of heaven waits to cheer you on.

Jesus talked about his unending quest to find us, thousands of years after he lived and died. He said his heavenly Father had purposed that we would belong to his flock. Jesus told people of his day, “And I have other sheep who do not belong to this fold. I must lead these also, and they will hear my voice. So there will be one flock and one shepherd. This is the reason why the Father loves me—that I lay down my life, and I lay it down to take it up again! No one is taking it from me, but I lay it down of my own free will. I have the power to lay it down and I have the power to take it up again. This is an order that I have received from my Father.” John 10:16-18 Phillips

Like a flock that mills around the legs of its shepherd, going in and out to safe pasture, let's stay close to Jesus. Let's follow him, letting him choose provision for this day. He promised green pastures and still waters, that he would guard us from wolves and ravaging predators. I can find security in a leader like that!

Read more:

*“What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep and one wanders away from the rest, won’t he leave the ninety-nine on the hill-side and set out to look for the one who has wandered away? Yes, and if he should chance to find it I assure you he is more delighted over that one than he is over the ninety-nine who never wandered away. You can understand then that it is never the will of your Father in Heaven that a single one of these little ones should be lost.” Matthew 18: 12-14 Phillips

*So Jesus spoke to them, using this parable: “Wouldn’t any man among you who owned a hundred sheep, and lost one of them, leave the ninety-nine to themselves in the open, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will put it on his shoulders with great joy, and as soon as he gets home, he will call his friends and neighbours together.

‘Come and celebrate with me,’ he will say, ‘for I have found that sheep of mine which was lost.’

I tell you that it is the same in Heaven—there is more joy over one sinner whose heart is changed than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need for repentance. Luke 15:3-7 Phillips

Memories of home, ever-changing home

What are your memories of home? Are they sweet? Sad? Do you ever get nostalgic for the surroundings in which you grew up?

Life is not simple or straightforward. I've read a lot of books and articles on simplifying life and uncluttering spaces. In our twenties, thirties, and forties, we accumulated dishes, gadgets, furniture, and tools. We had so much company that I used nearly everything... maybe once or twice a year.

I began giving away and selling off things when we returned from living in a two-bedroom apartment in England. 

W couldn't believe it. "You're really selling the Victorian sofa?" 

You betcha! It made someone happy to get it, and still makes me smile to think that I don't have to vacuum the 101 buttonholes. (Really, I counted.) It's back in style and similar ones appear in trendy magazines. Stylists are using apricot, the sofa's color. (ORANGE! my husband groaned. Nah, I coordinated the room around so it looked golden.) And no, I don't miss it.

This Christmas, though I was writing articles for school, our fake 10' tree went in its usual window. We strung lights and hung 8 ornaments, 8 more than I originally planned (and many hundreds less than usual.) 

One of the ornaments, the birdhouse (photo above), was a cheery piece bought on a whim at Molbaks. When the tree was stashed away Sunday, the teeny aviary settled on our LR "coffee table," a board from a Chinese shipping crate that rests on a ruin of a piano bench. It felt great to renew the room for the coming season... and took about a half hour.

Instead of buying new furniture, I swap slipcovers. Cool black winter covers after Valentines Day, purple and pink life for spring, white freshness for summer, subdued greys for fall, and celebratory pink and red for Christmas. The classics seem to find their spot, too - a Corbusier pony-skin lounger, African zebra footstools, a Chinese carved horse, and ghost armchairs.

A few times a year, I move the furniture around. Thankfully the current group is relatively light. Yes, that's a baby pack-and-play in one corner, inelegant but useful.

The boys shook their heads when I shifted sofas Sunday. "One of my least favorite things about growing up here was that you'd move stuff around," said T. (His father once remarked, "If I were blind, I'd be dead," after seeing a new arrangement.)

We still have the ebony elephant given us for a wedding present, though the tusks got lost in a move and we have bone replacements. W brought a candle stone in MT at an art fair. I can't remember where the fossil was found. Currently they grace a drum table, its Freecycle beveled glass topper resting on five Thai wooden massage knuckles.

I'm always surprised at how much I like the new arrangements. "Looks like it's always been this way," said a friend when we added 12'X7' bookshelves to the LR last year. Another friend said something similar when we shoehorned in a second piano (we're piano-sitting).

I love spaces and enjoying rearranging rooms for other people, too. We use furniture and accessories they already have or things that fall into my hands at the right moment. Someone is giving us a 3X5' glass dining table exactly like the one in our house. We like the way ours brings light into the room without blocking the view. Any takers? If not, I think I'll be rearranging the cabin this summer...

Our kids may not have static memories of home, of pictures hung, or furniture placement. But we hope, going into the New Year, that they boldly arrange their own spaces to please their lifestyles. Some day they may find a red surveyor's tripod for their lamp base like I did. Or they may buy one they like at WalMart!

Our daughter K has the visual and tactile gift for decor. She livens her apartment, regardless of shape or size. In Austin, her concrete floors are painted green, brown, and black by the landlords. But everything -- including a roommate's art and furnishing -- fits. It makes me smile to see that gift transferred to the next generation :-).

"A gift you say?" my son shakes his head.

What are your memories of home as you start 2012? I'd love to see Before & Afters of your place, too. I post an ongoing FB album called "We love our house."


Read more:

*Isaiah 61:1-4,8-11; Psalm 126 1 Thessalonians 5:16-24; John 1:6-8,19-28

*My times are in your hand. Psalm 31:15

*May the God of peace sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Thessalonians 5:23

*God saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works but according to his own purpose and grace. This grace was given to us in Christ Jesus before the ages began. 2 Timothy 1:9

Moravian Prayer: Lord and Savior, our times are truly in your hands. Though we cannot say where it is you will call us, we pray you will lead us lovingly and boldly wherever you will us to go. Amen.

The starting line

Each calendar year, we act as though we're at the starting line. The possibilities of blank pages stretch into June, September, November of 2012. What will the days bring? Will there be opportunities that we've prayed for? Will there be sorrows and partings?

Yes.

Yes, there will be all of these and more.

Instead of feeling anxious and fearful of the year, let's release 2012 into God's control. Nothing we do or say will make our dreams come true if he has not designed those things for us. No evil can harm us, no shadows darken our way, except his presence goes with us.

Along with working hard and doing our best, prayers of gratitude and surrender will ease us through the coming year. Whatever path God chooses for our journeys, walking with him adds meaning to glorious vistas and barren deserts alike.

People used to spout the cliche, "Let go and let God!" Perhaps a better motto for the New Year would be, "Hold tightly to God's loving hand to find contentment on the journey," whatever the year brings. After all, our eternal God encircles us without start or end, gently guiding to the final destination where we shall "ever be with the Lord" (1 Thess. 4:17).

Read more:

*Genesis 1:1-2:3; Matthew 1:1-17

*Blessed are those who walk not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stand in the path of sinners,  nor sit in the seat of the scornful;  but their delight is in the law of the LORD,  and in His law they meditate day and night.  

They shall be like trees planted by the rivers of water, that bring forth their fruit in season,  whose leaves also shall not wither; and whatever they do shall prosper. Psalm 1:1-3   NKJV  (plural added)

"For the word of the LORD holds true, and we can trust everything he does. He loves whatever is just and good; the unfailing love of the LORD fills the earth." Psalm 33:4–5 NLT

*You have made the Lord your refuge. Psalm 91:9

*Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Moravian Prayer: God of our future, things will happen this year which we can not foresee. Some may delight us, and others may cause us grief. At year's end, we will look back and know you were with us. "Great is thy faithfulness!" Amen.

Review... and a resolution

The end of another calendar year, and time to kick in my annual tradition of review. Today I'll look at the past year for significant changes. For God's work and help.

I wrote lots of entries in my 2011 morning pages. After I finished one journal, I'm partway through another. The snapshots of grace-in-process keep accumulating in blogs. (Yes, a writer writes. Always words, spilling onto page upon pages.)

This morning, I listened to a half hour of scripture, read aloud from Genesis--Jacob through Joseph's brothers selling him into slavery and then devising an elaborate cover story for their dad, and Daniel--Nebuchadnezzar dreaming, falling into insanity, and returning to glorify God. What stories! (What a mess and what beautiful redemption, time and again.)

We may view people in scripture with pity because of their lack of Western technology and manners. But they were like current people: self-aggrandizing, under pressure from family and work, committing sins of deception and unfaithfulness. What messes we create for ourselves, doing wrong and trying to wiggle out of the consequences. How we hurt ourselves and others in the process! Yet, the biblical characters turn again and again to ask deep questions, "Does any of this mean anything? Does life have value and purpose?"

Jesus was funny, a good teacher who drew crowds of people interested in being near him. He healed, blessed, and encouraged, even though he knew the suffering that he would endure, the weight of our killings, the lying, the stealing, the treachery, the tears caused by our adultery and harlotry, the poverty caused by refusing food and help in the name of gods and culture, and our intentions for revenge and harming others. The only people he ridiculed and exposed were those who presented masks of holiness and veneers of rule-keeping. Oh, Jesus ripped into them big-time!

Jesus knew human nature and the awful task ahead. But he kept his perspective on what life is like, sheltering in the presence and unguarded towards God. His life shows abandonment to abundance. Joyous beauty. Peacefulness. Companionship. Exuberant good works. Humour. Cheerful focus on God's goodness.

As I review the year, I want to know, "How have I made a difference to God and those around me? Can God accomplish the purposes He created me for? Can God speak clearly about what pleases him and other things that I need to lay aside to enjoy what he has planned?" Or do I really want to hear what God says?

Am I courageous enough to release my willfulness and expectations completely, come what may? My heart pounds to think of how awful 2012 may be, what challenges, illness, distress, and deaths. What loss of comforts and pleasures may lie ahead?

Wait! Wait! That's not at all how Jesus showed us how to live. He recklessly embarked on a life OPEN to God. "I've come to do the will of my Father," he said. His whole life could have been clouded by humanity's tendency toward darkness and scarcity. Instead, he also opened himself to all the pleasures of being human. He laughed, played with children, traveled in a company of intimate friends and family, and lived life to the full. "I've come to give you life, and that more abundantly," he told his followers.

That's just what we all want! Our heads admit that God's nature is marvelous beyond comprehension. That he loves us and provides all our needs. He shares his infinite resources and blessings with those willing to obey him.

Our hearts feel the shame of how short we fall, how poorly our efforts measure up, and how often we wander away. So we shun God's forgiveness to live in hovels of our own making rather than palaces of grace lit by the Creator's nearness.

What would we ask God on this last day of 2011, if he spoke to us face to face? Are we brave enough to say, "Here we come, all yours! Where you lead, we'll follow, whatever it costs," or "Here we are, send us!" Maybe our lives, amid sorrows and horrors aplenty, would be set on fire with beauty and joy and pleasures beyond human comprehension.

Today, I'm in, pounding heart and all! How about you?

Read more:
Psalm 150 Malachi 1-4; Revelation 21:22-22:21

*Lord, they came to you in their distress. Isaiah 26:16 (NIV)

*Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Moravian Prayer: On this eve of a new time and new day, we pray, giving Father, that you guide us as in ages past. Feed us with your word, calm our fears, and simply hold us close. Following your example, may we never cease to kneel at the feet of our friends. Amen.

Lies our mirrors tell us

The looking glass lies. But it's not because the image is incorrect. It's because we can't see past our preconceptions to what is really there. Sure, we may pat down a stray lock of hair or swipe away smudged eyeliner. But who really knows what they look like? (BTW: photo = a guy's T-shirt? Most women would see the opposite view of themselves.)

I filled my university office with mirrors. The room, on the north side of the building, needed light. "What better way to illuminate a space than mirrors?" I thought. Plus, I like big airy spaces. I found the mid-grey paint dreary and without charm.

After moving in a long maple file cabinet and topping it with glass, I hung a tall mirror from desk to ceiling next to the windows. "Why do you rate a corner office?" asked one professor, perceiving another window in the reflection.

Then I bought a long accordion of eight two-sided 6'X2' mirrors previously used to display retail clothing and placed it against one dark wall. With its great view of the soccer fields, deep red, orange, and pink accents, and a round glass table... the room radiated brightness.

 "How can you work with so many mirrors in here?" asked my assistant, checking her makeup and fashions. "I'd be so distracted, always looking at my reflection!" I laughed aloud with delight at her antics and enjoyed her great sense of style. (Not a problem. I rarely glanced in the mirrors' direction: I don't care much what happens after makeup is applied and I walk out my front door.)

Scripture says God's word is our most honest life-mirror. I wonder if we get so accustomed to our religious culture and the words heard in many settings that we miss its meaning. Surely I would be sweeter, kinder, and more patient if I understood God's interest in humanity and his lovingkindness day by day. What changes is God's mirror requiring of us today?


Read more:

*Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I cry to You all day long. Rejoice the soul of Your servant, for to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul. For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You. Give ear, O LORD, to my prayer; and attend to the voice of my supplications. In the day of my trouble I will call upon You, for You will answer me.

Among the gods there is none like You, O Lord; nor are there any works like Your works. All nations whom You have made shall come and worship before You, O Lord, and shall glorify Your name. For You are great, and do wondrous things; You alone are God. Psalm 86:3-10 NKJV

* All your works shall give thanks to you, O Lord, and all your faithful shall bless you. Psalm 145:10

*Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil. Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 NIV

*Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, for he has looked favorably on his people and redeemed them. Luke 1:68

* Psalm 146 Zechariah 1,2; Revelation 18:1-10

Moravian Prayer: Knit us, Lord, from mountain to sea, from sky to earth, one shall we be. Blessed and redeemed by you are set free. Thankful to you, praising are we! Amen.